please help and advise me

[G]

This is going to be a really long post but please read if you can.

Around June of last year(2016) I started working on my mission papers. It was a long process because I had quite a lot of sex about a year prior(last time was around August 2015). I planned it that way with my bishop and stake pres. So I could submit my papers right after a year had passed. Well after we submitted them the mission department asked for a test to show I didn't have any STD's(I didn't). It took me a little to be able to get the test done so we set the test results in mid October. Well on Oct. 30 I got called in from my stake president and bishop. They informed me that the mission department would like me to wait until March 1st(2017) to resubmit my papers(no explanation why, but that's what it said). So that night I was extremely sad. I went to a friends house(girl) and vented/talked about it well as we talked my sadness turned to anger and I was really upset and just a jumble of emotions. Well she made a move on me and we started kissing. [inappropriate things happened... edited out] and I guess that made me snap to. I immediately got up and put my shirt on and went home. I didn't feel bad about it at the time cause I was still upset. Well the next few weeks I read whole lot of anti Mormon stuff and decided I wasn't going to serve a mission and leave the church. But around late December I had some really good talks with some friends and some other things I can't write because it would be so long. Anyways I had a total change of heart. I wanted to serve a mission more than ever and still do. Except there's a problem, I totally forgot about what happened the night I heard I had to wait to resubmit my papers. I only remembered just last night because I read about having unresolved sins before a mission do hat popped into my mind. I reached out to my bishop this morning but he hasn't gotten back to me. I'm worried about telling him because I feel like he'll think I'm lying about not remembering it. I'm worried that I'll have to wait another year before I can serve. I'm also worried about how sad I'll make him. We worked together so hard a few years ago to get me on the strait and narrow, and I let I'm and everyone down. I repented last night but I don't feel any better. Is it too late? Did I wait too long to repent? I just can't get this terrible feeling to go away. I'm 19 and I converted almost 3 years ago so I still love known every everything.I guess I'm just coming here for help. My family is very anti Mormon and they would probably just laugh at me. I just need some help please

 

Edited February 14, 2017 by Eowyn

[NeuroTypical]

Hi and welcome G,

You've got a lot of worries that are getting in the way of doing what you know is right.  Here, let's have a battle with worries:

Which worries you more - confessing and making a bishop sad, or not confessing until after you've betrayed the trust of your bishop?

Which worries you more - waiting an extra year to go on a mission, or lying to go on your mission and carrying that guilt and burden of sin with you as you try to proudly wear your name tag that identifies you as a representative of the church of Jesus Christ?

I mean, right and wrong is a different discussion.  You already know what is right.  I'm just measuring various worries here.  

[zil]

  On 2/14/2017 at 10:40 PM, G said:

I repented last night but I don't feel any better.

Expand  

Last night, you started the repentance process.  For some sins, we need the help of the bishop, and they take considerable time to restore what was lost.  A sure way to show that you are humble, and sincerely want to repent is to confess to a repeat off a past sin.  Be totally honest - the Lord already knows the truth better than even you do, and the bishop is a stand-in for the Lord, in this case, so don't lie to the Lord (it won't work, and it won't do you any good, and repentance is all about doing you good).

One thing is certain: the fastest way to get right and get on a mission is to confess and do all in your power to repent and avoid situations where you would be tempted to sin (e.g., prepare yourself now to gracefully accept whatever the outcome is, even if it's another year delay).  The best possible outcome will be if you talk honestly with your bishop.

PS: Welcome to the forums!

Edited February 15, 2017 by zil

[G]

  On 2/14/2017 at 11:05 PM, NeuroTypical said:

Hi and welcome G,

You've got a lot of worries that are getting in the way of doing what you know is right.  Here, let's have a battle with worries:

Which worries you more - confessing and making a bishop sad, or not confessing until after you've betrayed the trust of your bishop?

Which worries you more - waiting an extra year to go on a mission, or lying to go on your mission and carrying that guilt and burden of sin with you as you try to proudly wear your name tag that identifies you as a representative of the church of Jesus Christ?

I mean, right and wrong is a different discussion.  You already know what is right.  I'm just measuring various worries here.  

Expand  

Thank you for the quick reply. And thank you so much for being kind and supportive. I will accept the consequences for what they are. I guess I just needed some support to help me do the right thing. Some of my family has disowned me for joining the church so it can be hard sometimes without support.

[G]

  On 2/14/2017 at 11:09 PM, zil said:

Last night, you started the repentance process.  For some sins, we need the help of the bishop, and they take considerable time to restore what was lost.  A sure way to show that you are humble, and sincerely want to repent is to confess to a repeat off a past sin.  Be totally honest - the Lord already knows the truth better than even you do, and the bishop is a stand-in for the Lord, in this case, so don't lie to the Lord (it won't work, and it won't do you any good, and repentance is all about doing you good).

One thing is certain: the fastest way to get right and get on a mission is to confess and do all in your power to repent and avoid situations where you would be tempted to sin (e.g., prepare yourself now to gracefully accept whatever the outcome is, even if it's another year delay).  The best possible outcome is will be if you talk honestly with your bishop.

PS: Welcome to the forums!

Expand  

Seriously thank you for your response. I didn't expect to be so warmly welcomed. Thank you for not judging me. 

[Jane_Doe]

@NeuroTypical and @zil

totally nailed response for this, so all I can do to add to the choir is to send hugs.  It's a tough thing you're going through, but you're doing the right thing.  Keep strong and keep going.

 

[zil]

  On 2/14/2017 at 11:50 PM, G said:

Seriously thank you for your response. I didn't expect to be so warmly welcomed. Thank you for not judging me. 

Expand  

Dude, we all sin.  It's a joy when any of us chooses to repent.  I admire your courage, seeking help, and your desire to serve a mission!  Don't give in to Satan's lies - it'll be all right, even if it takes time.

[Guest MormonGator]

I admire your strength to post this. It takes a lot of courage. We're all praying for you and sending love. 

Like @zil said, we all sin and no one-not your bishop, not even the prophet is perfect. You are not alone. 

[PREPPING]

Satan is after you because you are going to do powerful things when you serve a mission.  We who read this can tell you are sorry and repentance starts in your heart.  So speak frankly with your bishop.  Do not be alone with a female again.  Don't let a day pass without praying many times a day or reading your scriptures.  It's the adversary that wants you.  The scriptures warn us of that repeatedly.  Be humble regardless of the consequence.  No matter what you choose, this life will end and you will have decided our eternal destiny.  You can have joy forever if you can fight sin with righteousness here.  We all have to repent daily.  Stick to it.  Set limitations for yourself so you can't fall again.  We'll be praying for you to have the strength.   

Edited February 15, 2017 by PREPPING
used "we" instead of "you"