Hoped-for revelations and changes at General Conference

[The Folk Prophet]

Edit: This isn't directed at the OP, just in case that isn't clear.

Edited October 5, 2018 by The Folk Prophet

[Searching]

4 minutes ago, zil said:

It would not change the fact that giving the interviewee the options of:

1) Don't come at all

2) Come alone

3) Bring someone you trust

...is the best possible way to ensure everyone is as comfortable in the process as possible while still obeying the Lord's commands.

you left out:

4.) Abusive parents now invite themselves into the interview denying children the ability to seek help.

5.) children feel pressured to uphold established culture norms, and do not feel comfortable asking for another person to come into the room with them.

[Vort]

1 minute ago, Searching said:

You said "darned well better not be blabbing to his wife about what he hears"

Sounded like you do not hold a bishop's wife in very high esteem?  That married couples should not council together, should not try to help people together?  

Sounded like you were ok to opening up about your problems to the bishop, but would not be comfortable opening up to the bishop's wife about your problems?  

Searching, there seems to be a serious problem with miscommunication here. Specifically, you keep moving the goalposts. Let's examine this.

You claimed it would be a good idea for a bishop's wife to be present when the bishop was interviewing people:

1 hour ago, Searching said:

The wives of bishopric members will now accompany their husbands for all interviews... ← wouldn't that be great?  To allow those who serve to serve with their spouse? 

I replied that this would be a horrible, disastrous thing:

51 minutes ago, Vort said:

That would be absurd. I, for one, would be far less likely to talk openly to my bishop if his wife were in the room with him. He holds the Priesthood keys of leadership, not his wife.

You then opined that such an attitude was deplorable, that I must not value my bishop's marriage, and that I was advocating for couples to keep secrets from each other:

47 minutes ago, Searching said:

You do not believe couples are "equally yoked", do not believe they are "of one flesh and one heart"??  you think a church calling should come between a husband a wife, that wives and husbands should have "secrets" from one another, should not share everything with one another?   does not sound like a very healthy definition of marriage to me...  I would not trust a leader who is in such a marriage.  

I disagreed with your take, except I agreed that couples should keep their mouths shut when talking with each other if the subject of privileged information comes up:

30 minutes ago, Vort said:

ABSOFRICKINLUTELY! A husband who serves as a bishop or other person who receives privileged information had darned well better not be blabbing to his wife about what he hears. Same for a woman in such a position. This is not a difficult thing to figure out. When you are expected to keep a secret, you keep the secret.

Then, you COMPLETELY changed the conditions and accused me of not wanting to be alone in the same room with my bishop's wife:

22 minutes ago, Searching said:

You... a male... would be uncomfortable sitting along in a room with your bishop's wife - just as I, as a female, would feel uncomfortable sitting in a room with another married man all alone...

The same way you feel about talking with a girl, I feel with talking to a guy... 

I called this out as false and wondered where you even got such an idea:

16 minutes ago, Vort said:

I would not be uncomfortable in the least. Not sure where you got that idea.

And now you respond with the most non sequitur, bizarre, and strangest accusations yet:

8 minutes ago, Searching said:

Sounded like you do not hold a bishop's wife in very high esteem?  That married couples should not council together, should not try to help people together?

For the record, I hold my bishop's wife in very high esteem, and I think married couples should indeed council together and (when appropriate) (<--note the parenthetical addendum) should try to help people together. But when either member of the couple receives privileged information intended for them alone, including from their own children, then of course they should keep mum about that.

8 minutes ago, Searching said:

Sounded like you were ok to opening up about your problems to the bishop, but would not be comfortable opening up to the bishop's wife about your problems?  

Uh, well...yes. Of course. If we're talking generic "problems", I talk to my wife. If I cannot or dare not talk to her but need to talk to someone, I might go to a brother or a sister (like a blood relative). In general I'm much more amenable to talking with close male friends about personal issues than with women, even friends. I assume you are the same in preferring to confide in women.

If we're talking about issues of repentance, that's a far different subject. I prefer to talk with my bishop, even if I don't know (or particularly like) the guy, because he's the one who holds the Priesthood and the keys of judgment over such issues. Why on earth would I want to talk to my bishop's wife?! She has no Priesthood keys and no authority to counsel me or help me repent. Talking to her would be like talking to my quorum president or sister or the guy next door.

I think you don't understand the roles that the Priesthood and those who hold keys to Priesthood leadership play in such matters. I see that you have opened up just a bit about your own personal demons, including the feeling that you were somehow abused by a now-jailed Priesthood holder. I am very sorry to hear it. You also mention that, in (I presume) your role as a counselor:

36 minutes ago, Searching said:

When I talk to someone who is married, I let them know that I treat it as talking with both people in the marriage - I would never want anything I say or share to be a wedge between two people who are married.  I view them as one flesh, united in heart and in mind, and treat married people in a way that attempts to strengthen their marriage.

This is fine. It's appropriate. It's what I would expect. But of course, you are not a holder of Priesthood keys with divine responsibilities in counseling.

And even in your case, if you were married, I presume you would not go home and tell your husband all about the problems of the couples you counsel. I certainly hope you would never commit such a breach of ethics and morals.

[The Folk Prophet]

4 minutes ago, Vort said:

(when appropriate) (<--note the parenthetical addendum)

Is noting the parenthetical addendum parenthetically proper?

[Anddenex]

15 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Edit: This isn't directed at the OP, just in case that isn't clear.

I find this totally offensive, what did those chickens ever do to you! 😜

[The Folk Prophet]

Just now, Anddenex said:

I find this totally offensive, what did those chickens ever do to you! 😜

They were liberal chickens!

😈

[zil]

17 minutes ago, Searching said:

you left out:

4.) Abusive parents now invite themselves into the interview denying children the ability to seek help.

5.) children feel pressured to uphold established culture norms, and do not feel comfortable asking for another person to come into the room with them.

This thread has given you more than enough to understand the problems of a bishop's wife being required to be in on interviews performed by the bishop (ditto for others conducting priesthood interviews).  If you cannot see why it's not a good idea, no more words will convince you.

ETA: There are a lot more details that could be mentioned, particularly logistical issues, but it seems pointless.

As for abuse by parents, there's only so much that can be done unless the children reach out, or someone witnesses.  The notion that the Church could, in a million years, require that parents not be in the room with their children would be railed against by the entire planet.  They'd protest about parents' rights, and they'd claim the children were being set up for abuse by the bishop (and his wife, in your scenario).  There simply is no bulletproof solution, so the Church does its best to allow for the interviewee to select the option that is most comfortable for them, and yes, the Church respects the role of parents.

Edited October 5, 2018 by zil

[dahlia]

4 hours ago, Vort said:

• The Great and Spacious Membership: “TWO-HOUR CHURCH! SHORTER GARMENTS!  EASIER TEMPLE WORSHIP! FEWER MEETINGS! QUIT WASTING OUR TIME AND PATIENCE WITH ALL THIS CHURCHY STUFF!”

 

Personally, I'd be happy if they just changed the garment seams from running up the middle to on the side.