Can You Petition To Switch Wards?

[bjw]

Not to sound harsh, but I really don't think that this is about me being overly-judgmental when the people in question admitted to me that they were rude and have assured me they are going to try to improve things in the future. That includes the bishop and his first counselor. I have been walking on egg shells with these people since the thing with the girl happened that was mentioned in the link earlier in the post. Even though those things were lies and the bishop (and the people that fabricated the story) knows it, it will still be hard for me to win their respect back. I do not consider myself "judgmental" but I am quite optimistic at this point after meeting with the bishop. I really believe things are going to improve since he has received compliments from people about how I've been doing in my calling and that he believes the girl situation is no longer on people's minds. I'm even going to try to get back in choir starting in January. I want to get more involved in my ward again and I believe that is a good way to regain the ward's confidence, along with bearing my testimony and living my life as an example.

[bjw]

Just to give a little update, I found out that my elder's quorum president has been having similar problems at the ward with the leadership and gossipers, and he resigned and moved out of the ward last week. I'm hoping the situation will improve though. I'm just glad after talking to the now former elder's quorum president I realize that its not just me. I had to cancel my appointment with the stake president last week because something else came up that I had to do. They said they would try to find me a new appointment but a week has gone by and they haven't called me back, so I'm assuming they're avoiding me. If the bishop's kindness is any indication of the future I hope things start looking up.

Incidentally, the former elder's quorum president confided in me that he was going to promote me from an EQ teacher to the EQ secretary but now that he is gone that won't be happening. I was glad to know that he had such a high opinion of me though. So that was encouraging. I'll just have to see what the new elder's quorum presidency is going to do with me.

Anyway, as always, keep me in your prayers. I'll let you guys know what happens. Thanks for the kind words and good advice.

[ztodd]

The words you use, like "promoting" you to EQ secretary, and your EQ Pres "resigning", indicate to me that you might have the wrong idea of callings and leadership. The church is not like a business organization in which people earn their way up the chain. And getting callings is not about whether people like you or not either. Like I said before, anyone can be called as bishop, whether he is well liked or not. And too often we expect too much from our church leaders. They're only human. We're called to certain positions at certain times under inspiration to give us opportunity to serve and also to learn something from it. Whatever callings you get, serve in those callings with all your heart, and learn from it what Heavenly Father wants you to.

Don't assume they're avoiding you. They have a lot to keep up on. You might have to call them back again to remind them.

Some folks are a little more needy than others, and that's ok... but you might have to reach out yourself to fill your needs. Don't always expect others to fill them for you... also try to focus on the needs of others as well- when we lose ourselves in service to others, it is when we truly find ourselves. I hope I haven't offended you or stepped out of line. I am praying for you still.

[bjw]

The words you use, like "promoting" you to EQ secretary, and your EQ Pres "resigning", indicate to me that you might have the wrong idea of callings and leadership. The church is not like a business organization in which people earn their way up the chain. And getting callings is not about whether people like you or not either. Like I said before, anyone can be called as bishop, whether he is well liked or not. And too often we expect too much from our church leaders. They're only human. We're called to certain positions at certain times under inspiration to give us opportunity to serve and also to learn something from it. Whatever callings you get, serve in those callings with all your heart, and learn from it what Heavenly Father wants you to.

Don't assume they're avoiding you. They have a lot to keep up on. You might have to call them back again to remind them.

Some folks are a little more needy than others, and that's ok... but you might have to reach out yourself to fill your needs. Don't always expect others to fill them for you... also try to focus on the needs of others as well- when we lose ourselves in service to others, it is when we truly find ourselves. I hope I haven't offended you or stepped out of line. I am praying for you still.

I actually agree with you, and when it doesn't work like this is when things aren't working right. We are in an organization where everyone volunteers to serve the Lord I would actually be honored to serve as a home teacher, I wish they would call me to it one of these days, that would be an excellent opportunity for service. I would also like to have a home teacher over to visit me. I think its sad the way the EQ Presidency situation worked out because they should realize this is a voluntary position to serve the Lord and not a position you play politics with. So I hope you don't think its just me coming up with these ideas because this is the way people have been talking at the ward the past few weeks. I honestly hope God humbles their hearts and they realize what having a calling should mean. My grandmother and I were both real sad to see this family leave the ward over the EQ pres. position because we really like them and had even been over to their house before for BBQs. The ward is really losing a good family and I really think its sad.

Anyway, thank you again for keeping us in your prayers.

[Kate]

Just to give a little update, I found out that my elder's quorum president has been having similar problems at the ward with the leadership and gossipers, and he resigned and moved out of the ward last week. I'm hoping the situation will improve though. I'm just glad after talking to the now former elder's quorum president I realize that its not just me. I had to cancel my appointment with the stake president last week because something else came up that I had to do. They said they would try to find me a new appointment but a week has gone by and they haven't called me back, so I'm assuming they're avoiding me. If the bishop's kindness is any indication of the future I hope things start looking up.

Incidentally, the former elder's quorum president confided in me that he was going to promote me from an EQ teacher to the EQ secretary but now that he is gone that won't be happening. I was glad to know that he had such a high opinion of me though. So that was encouraging. I'll just have to see what the new elder's quorum presidency is going to do with me.

Anyway, as always, keep me in your prayers. I'll let you guys know what happens. Thanks for the kind words and good advice.

bjw,

By reading your posts, one thing stands out that maybve you should be aware of. When you said that you had to cancel your appointment and a week has gone by and they haven't called you back to you. Your only conclusion is that they are avoiding you. You are placing way too much focus on yourself. Your first thought should be, oh, maybe they didn't get my message (if that's how you canceled), or, maybe the secretary forgot about it (hey, it happens), but to automatically think they are avoiding you shows that maybe you are thinking eveything is always about you. Give people the benefit of the doubt, as you would want them to give you the benefit. How would you feel if the first thought they had when you canceled your appointment is, "oh, he must be afraid to come in because he is hiding a sin." That would be silly, wouldn't it? But that is what you are doing to them...Also, sounds like you are participating with the gossipers in relation to the EQ problem.

I just think if you stop being so critical of people and stop thinking it's all about you(and I'm not saying this in a mean tone, but a concerned one), that things will get much better. People are not perfect. Neither are you, I'm sure.

~Kate

[ztodd]

I actually agree with you, and when it doesn't work like this is when things aren't working right. We are in an organization where everyone volunteers to serve the Lord I would actually be honored to serve as a home teacher, I wish they would call me to it one of these days, that would be an excellent opportunity for service. I would also like to have a home teacher over to visit me. I think its sad the way the EQ Presidency situation worked out because they should realize this is a voluntary position to serve the Lord and not a position you play politics with. So I hope you don't think its just me coming up with these ideas because this is the way people have been talking at the ward the past few weeks. I honestly hope God humbles their hearts and they realize what having a calling should mean. My grandmother and I were both real sad to see this family leave the ward over the EQ pres. position because we really like them and had even been over to their house before for BBQs. The ward is really losing a good family and I really think its sad.

Anyway, thank you again for keeping us in your prayers.

That is really sad. I'm with you - there's no reason a home teacher shouldn't be coming to see you, and there's no reason they shouldn't give you a calling to be a home teacher. You're right- I was speaking of what the ideal situation should be- but obviously there are wards where they play politics, and it is shameful. That can make it hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. Keep trying though. I can tell you are a good person and seeking to do good things. Hopefully your ward realizes what a great family they lost with the old EQ pres.

[MorningStar]

Hi Bjw,

I'm glad things are going a little better for you. I'll keep praying. :)

[bjw]

ztodd and morningstar, thanks for the encouraging words.

A little update. I had a talk with the former EQ pres. that was leaving the ward. Even though they released him from his calling because of the rumors, he told me Sunday that he has decided to stick it out at the ward, even without the calling, and he and his wife and kids are staying in the ward no matter what. He even took his house off the market. I admire his courage and willingness to not let anyone drive him away. We had a good talk Sunday after church and I'm really happy that he has let his testimony in the truthfullness of the gospel win out over the misdeeds of a few. It would have really been ashame to lose this family in the church. He is also very supportive of me and has been a great friend.

I am still waiting to talk to the stake president and have called his secretary for an appointment. I'll let you guys know how it goes. Anyway, thanks everyone for the prayers and kind words.

[MorningStar]

ztodd and morningstar, thanks for the encouraging words.

A little update. I had a talk with the former EQ pres. that was leaving the ward. Even though they released him from his calling because of the rumors, he told me Sunday that he has decided to stick it out at the ward, even without the calling, and he and his wife and kids are staying in the ward no matter what. He even took his house off the market. I admire his courage and willingness to not let anyone drive him away. We had a good talk Sunday after church and I'm really happy that he has let his testimony in the truthfullness of the gospel win out over the misdeeds of a few. It would have really been ashame to lose this family in the church. He is also very supportive of me and has been a great friend.

I am still waiting to talk to the stake president and have called his secretary for an appointment. I'll let you guys know how it goes. Anyway, thanks everyone for the prayers and kind words.

I'm glad to hear he is staying. You can run away from your problems, but there will be new problems. :) There are so many opportunities in the church to practice forgiveness and patience.

[bjw]

A little update, the stake president's secretary got back to me today after about 5 calls the past week. He apologized for how long it was taking and gave me an appointment to see the stake president on Sunday before church. So, let's hope that it does some good. I plan to tell him everything that has taken place starting with the girl situation all the way up to the way I've been treated lately and the EQ situation. I hope everything goes well. As always, everyone continue to keep me in your prayers.

[bjw]

I finally had my talk with the stake president on sunday and it went pretty well. He told me he was going to look into everything, since the only stuff he had heard was what others had told him. He thought I had told him the whole situation before, but I told him that I didn't. He also told me that I shouldn't be held back at church by anybody, and that if I ever felt like I didn't have enough to do to tell the bishop. He said jokingly that most people are trying to get out of callings. He also told me not to worry if some at the ward don't like me, he said it would be better to just ignore it. He did say he would have a talk with the bishop and that they would monitor the situation more carefully, especially the family with the girl situation. My bishop came to me later Sunday and told me that if I was ever unhappy with my current calling to always feel like I could come to him. He said that the current EQ presidency had not said they wanted my calling to change. So, I guess things are looking up. Thanks everyone for the prayers.

[ztodd]

Good to hear. Merry Christmas, let's all go do some good. :)

[CourtneyP]

Sounds like things are slowly on the road to recovery there. :) That's good to hear!

[~Sarah~]

I've had a similar problem in my ward. I've been there a year and a half and have never felt so lost in a ward, not even the singles ward I was in which I REALLY didn't like lol I went a year without a calling, without a VT route. I BEGGED the Bishop for a calling. literally. I don't know how many times I pulled him aside briefly and told him I wanted a calling. The best part is this. When I first got there, they called me to play the organ. I guess I wasn't doing a good job, because they released me after a few months, and people were always commenting (even the 2nd councelor in the Bishopric in SACREMENT MEETING) that we didn't have an organist. WHAT????? Here I am, begging for a calling, qualified, and you're complaining that there is nobody to do it. OK. I also learned very quickly to not volunteer my knowledge in music (I went to school for Music Ed and performance before I got married) because I get yelled at for offending people (another member of the bishopric, I left that meeting in tears and still don't really know what I did.), I am also apparently too opinionated because I disagree with someone, and I am just difficult. Those things were said to my face and were really hard to misinterpret. This coming Sunday will be my last Sunday there and I will NOT be disappointed about leaving.

[Guest AutumnBreez]

I've had a similar problem in my ward. I've been there a year and a half and have never felt so lost in a ward, not even the singles ward I was in which I REALLY didn't like lol I went a year without a calling, without a VT route. I BEGGED the Bishop for a calling. literally. I don't know how many times I pulled him aside briefly and told him I wanted a calling. The best part is this. When I first got there, they called me to play the organ. I guess I wasn't doing a good job, because they released me after a few months, and people were always commenting (even the 2nd councelor in the Bishopric in SACREMENT MEETING) that we didn't have an organist. WHAT????? Here I am, begging for a calling, qualified, and you're complaining that there is nobody to do it. OK. I also learned very quickly to not volunteer my knowledge in music (I went to school for Music Ed and performance before I got married) because I get yelled at for offending people (another member of the bishopric, I left that meeting in tears and still don't really know what I did.), I am also apparently too opinionated because I disagree with someone, and I am just difficult. Those things were said to my face and were really hard to misinterpret. This coming Sunday will be my last Sunday there and I will NOT be disappointed about leaving.

I take it your moving....

Good luck on your next ward. I hope you will find it a good hospital.

[ztodd]

Sorry to hear of your experience Sarah- hope you can find forgiveness in your heart for them and still be able to give people the benefit of the doubt from here on out. Keep the communication lines open with everyone.. I'm sure you didn't meant to offend anyone- did you tell them you didn't mean to? Sometimes we have to try to change the way we relate with certain people in order to lower the risk of offending them. Even if it's true that they don't have any good reason to be offended, it would still be Christ-like for us to do all we can to relate with them in a way that has less of a chance of offending them.

[~Sarah~]

I take it your moving....

Good luck on your next ward. I hope you will find it a good hospital.

Joining the Army B)

[bjw]

Joining the Army B)

Well, looks like we have a lot in common. Sorry to hear about your bad experiences, I know how much it hurts. You'll be in my prayers. Good luck in the army.

[Moksha]

Here is an interesting post from Bill on the Latter-Day Saints forum on Beliefnet, that I thought was full of interesting information on the topic of switching wards:

By default, the Church strongly encourages members to attend their own ward. The reasons for this are obvious. The practice of dividing Mormon congregations into geographic "wards" is designed to put a break on human pettiness - which afflicts Mormons as much as anyone else. If you're stuck in a ward family by default, you're forced to make the best of it. You don't have the convenience or luxury of picking and choosing your "brothers and sisters." You have to accept people - along with all their faults. Without this, the Church could be faced with a game of musical chairs and feuding wards as members chose favorites and ghettoed the losers.

For that reason, the Church takes a skeptical view of requests to have a member's records transferred from their geographic boundaries to some ward of choice - even to the point of penalizing some Mormons by refusing to consider their attendance at other wards for purposes of "full activity." In some instances, recalcitrant "buffet Mormons" can find the Church unwilling to renew a temple recommend.

But that's absent strong reasons for an individual exception. In fact, exceptions are made all the time. Members are not asked to attend the same ward when they're divorcing, on separate sides of lawsuits, or a scandal has broken out and a particular member finds attendance difficult or impossible. Bishops are the first gatekeepers in terms of deciding whether to recommend a records transfer but decisions can be appealed right up the chain of command - to stake presidents, regional representatives, area presidencies and ultimately the Council of the 12. I have never met anyone who could not get the matter resolved by taking it up with the stake presidency.

In my immediate experience, I've known half a dozen families - over the years - who were given permission to attend a different ward because of divorce, and a couple of families who were given slack in attending a ward away from other members with whom they were having serious conflicts. I know of no one who was given the greenlight simply because they thought their ward was a dud. On the other hand, when faced with potential inactivity, my experience has been that local leaders tend to be accommodating.

Hope this helps.

[bjw]

A few comments to add regarding Moksha's post...

It was interesting that the church made an exception for one of my cousins that joined the church about a year after I did. They let him go to his girlfriend's ward, which is on the other side of town, since his girlfriend and high school friends were in the other ward. I thought that was neat that they were able to accomodate him, as he was worried about it when he was first baptized.

Anyway, a quick update regarding my situation. The new elder's quorum president told me he's impressed with my EQ lessons and he asked me if I would like to become the EQ secretary and go to teaching every 4 months. I told him I would be honored. Its a good feeling to be appreciated by your fellow priesthood bretheren. So, I guess the situation at the ward is starting to look up. Again, thanks everyone for the support.

[Traela]

Anyway, a quick update regarding my situation. The new elder's quorum president told me he's impressed with my EQ lessons and he asked me if I would like to become the EQ secretary and go to teaching every 4 months. I told him I would be honored. Its a good feeling to be appreciated by your fellow priesthood bretheren. So, I guess the situation at the ward is starting to look up. Again, thanks everyone for the support.

Congratulations on your new calling! But, um, if the Elders Quorum is like the RS, the secretary is not supposed to teach AT ALL. You might want to check your CHI. Either way, I personally think it's a shame that, you being a good teacher, you're being given a calling where you'll teach less.

[bjw]

Congratulations on your new calling! But, um, if the Elders Quorum is like the RS, the secretary is not supposed to teach AT ALL. You might want to check your CHI. Either way, I personally think it's a shame that, you being a good teacher, you're being given a calling where you'll teach less.

Interesting, I wasn't aware the RS secretary couldn't teach. What I was told by the current EQ President is that myself and the president and his two counselors will be taking turns teaching once per month, giving me one lesson every four months. Do the secretaries get access to the CHI? Ya, I agree with you. I enjoy teaching and I wish that I could do it every Sunday. I hope that eventually I get a calling where I teach more, but oh well. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement.

[Guest Iggy]

Interesting, I wasn't aware the RS secretary couldn't teach. What I was told by the current EQ President is that myself and the president and his two counselors will be taking turns teaching once per month, giving me one lesson every four months. Do the secretaries get access to the CHI? Ya, I agree with you. I enjoy teaching and I wish that I could do it every Sunday. I hope that eventually I get a calling where I teach more, but oh well. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement.

It isn't written in stone that RS Secretaries can not teach. It is up to the individual RS President what she wants her councilors and secretaries to do.

That goes for all of the auxiliaries- Young Women, Young Men, Primary, Elders Quorum, High Priests, etc.

If I am not mistaken the Stake President actually has the complete CHI, the Bishop/Branch Pres gets what pertains to his stewardship, the RS Pres gets what pertains to her stewardship and then she shares with her two councilors and her secretary the parts that pertain to their stewardship, etc. etc.

[Traela]

It isn't written in stone that RS Secretaries can not teach. It is up to the individual RS President what she wants her councilors and secretaries to do.

That goes for all of the auxiliaries- Young Women, Young Men, Primary, Elders Quorum, High Priests, etc.

If I am not mistaken the Stake President actually has the complete CHI, the Bishop/Branch Pres gets what pertains to his stewardship, the RS Pres gets what pertains to her stewardship and then she shares with her two councilors and her secretary the parts that pertain to their stewardship, etc. etc.

At least as far as the first Sunday lesson goes, I went to a workshop in SLC where the general RS leaders were asked this very question. The answer was, "The secretary is probably perfectly capable of teaching, but she MAY NOT." (emphasis theirs).

Perhaps things have changed in 4 years.

[PinkPanther]

It is rare that a person is not given a HT assignment.

I think this happens a lot. My husband and I have lived here for a year and a half and he isn't even on the EQ role. My friend and visiting teachers' husband isn't either and they've been here a few months longer.... She and I have both had seperate conversations with the Bishop about it, and he just says he'll look into it, then nothing. Also, we either don't have Home Teachers or they don't come. I have talked to the Bishop about this as well, he just says he'll look into it. On the other side, I have been active for about 9 years now and lived in 5 different wards and this is the first time I have been given a VT route. It's also the first time I've had VT's. I have inquired in every ward about it.... without avail... I don't let it get me down though, my VT's are great.