MorningStar Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 What do you think of these methods of dealing with disrespectful talk from kids? (swearing, talking back, etc.) I am not a fan of either method, but what do you do when your kids act up in this way? I had never heard of "hot saucing" until I saw this show interviewing the girl who played "Blaire" on The Facts of Life. Her family does it and her kids even gave it the thumbs up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted March 3, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Also, my friend told me that Supernanny was ranting about how putting soap in your kids' mouth is poisoning them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jbs2763 Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 my mom had a 'hot shot' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elgama Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 no I don't use anything similar, I try not too punish if I can (I do resort too time out for me and the kids if we are all about to blow). I just simply say thats not nice, or when you say that it hurts me and ask them to find better words. It takes longer than hot sauce but I am really appreciating that after a rough year of whinging, whining, nagging etc my daughter is now able to say how she feels and why - if she says Mummy I am whining because I am tired and can't stop its easier to deal with. I've been rereading How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Your Kids Will Talk and glad I did, I haven't needed to use timeout, my husband has been calmer and I haven't screamed in a week lol (I was screaming loads) - so have ordered their Siblings Without Rivalry book hope its just as good -Charley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 I think it is more important to talk it thru if you can. If the kid needs a cooling off, then a little time alone might help. But, I think that explaining that you respect their feelings and that it is ok to have them, but then giving them examples of proper ways to discuss those feeling is the best thing. I think that kids use these words and attitudes when they don't feel respected or heard by parents. Then the kid may use that language just to push buttons or to be defiant. But if you can extinguish the power struggle early and really be a good listener and problem solve, I think the results are much better. I have tried the soap or hot shot stuff and frankly I don't think it works. Not long term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crytsprospect Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Do you read the chemicals in liquid soap at the least you can give them diaharea anyway I belive you shouldn't do something to your children that your not willing to have done to yourself. Please we are the parents and its abuse in my eyes and some courts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skalenfehl Posted March 4, 2008 Report Share Posted March 4, 2008 I think it is more important to talk it thru if you can. If the kid needs a cooling off, then a little time alone might help. But, I think that explaining that you respect their feelings and that it is ok to have them, but then giving them examples of proper ways to discuss those feeling is the best thing. I think that kids use these words and attitudes when they don't feel respected or heard by parents. Then the kid may use that language just to push buttons or to be defiant. But if you can extinguish the power struggle early and really be a good listener and problem solve, I think the results are much better.I completely agree here. I adopted teenage boys, who came complete with street smarts and foul mouths. It didn't take long for them to understand that they are allowed to speak their minds rationally, but I drew the line very clearly when it came to foul language and disrespect in my home. When they became disrespectful I gave them timeouts and there were different levels of timeouts. You'd be surprised how motivated children/teens are when you remove privileges, especially tv, phone, radio, etc. There were times that I even cut the power in their room so they couldn't sneak in tv or a radio in. They learned also to "earn" time/privileges back by helping with household chores like washing dishes, etc. I look back and wonder how I was able to maintain my composure, but the most important thing to remember is never act or react with emotion (anger, exasperation) because they can learn to use that against you, believe me. All instances must become learning experiences for both the parent and the child (they don't come with manuals), but at any age, even very, very young they are extremely perceptive and continually test the waters to see what they can get away with. When lines are clearly drawn, then they know their boundaries and can act accordingly. Hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the Ogre Posted March 4, 2008 Report Share Posted March 4, 2008 I don't like either punishment (hot sauce or soap). It trivializes what they are doing wrong. Removing privileges works well, if they know why you are doing it and if you are being consistent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traela Posted March 4, 2008 Report Share Posted March 4, 2008 Also, my friend told me that Supernanny was ranting about how putting soap in your kids' mouth is poisoning them.I read about that episode on another board. Apparently the mother was actually making the kids SWALLOW the liquid soap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted March 4, 2008 Report Share Posted March 4, 2008 I read about that episode on another board. Apparently the mother was actually making the kids SWALLOW the liquid soap.Are you serious? Awful! This just sounds to me like a frustrated mother who isn't using her love and creativity and problem solving abilities to help her and her children. Hope the Super Nanny set her straight.I have learned that when anger or frustration is the driving emotion of parenting, the outcomes aren't good. It changes the self concept of the child and breeds anger and resentments that eventually turn into rebellion. I like the Love and Logic stuff. Anybody read or used that or a similar approach? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted March 4, 2008 Report Share Posted March 4, 2008 Do you read the chemicals in liquid soap at the least you can give them diaharea ...... you aren't supposed to eat the soap. you rinse it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted March 4, 2008 Report Share Posted March 4, 2008 having your mouth washed out with soap works if it's only in an extreame case and rare occassion. done right you only need to have experianced it once (lol speaking from the point of someone that has had it done). if it's a daily occurance that's not cool or heathy. there are definatly better forms of dicipline. kids learn respect and language far better from example than anything else. i see hot sauce as different and not appropriate at all. i guess i see soap as having meaning. you have said something dirty, you get your filthy mouth washed (like anything thing else that is filthy). all i see with the hotsause is to cause pain. pain is rarely a good long term motivator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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