Can I Do Without Marriage?

[Guest jackvance88]

serious question. i doubt i'll ever get married in the forseeable future, but what does it really matter. i can find no mention whatsoever of marriage as a necessary ordinance in the old or new testaments or even in the book of mormon. i'm not saying i dissagree with what it says in D&C, but seems to me like the central message in the NT and BOM is that we exercise faith, repent, get baptized (be born again), receive the holy ghost and spend the rest of our lives living the two great commandments. christ showed us how to enter the kingdom of god/celestial kingdom/inherit the earth etc ... even the D&C doesn't say marriage is needed to do that.

so, should i be content with just becoming a son of god and a co-heir with christ, if marriage is not something i'm not capable of or don't desire?

isn't salvation dependant upon us only? if i want to repent and be baptized, i can go do it. if i want to do good works, obey the law of chastity, word of wisdom etc, i just do it. if marriage is a necessary ordinance, why can't i then just go do it, call the bishop tonight and say i feel ready to have my marriage ordinance?

why should my salvation be taken out of my hands. even if i do marry, surely for every temple marriage there are plenty where one spouse may not even make it into the celestial kingdom. you never can know the spiritual status of your spouse, we're all alone with God at the end of the day, like CS Lewis once wrote.

what about polygamy? what about the 10,000,000 single men and women who died in the two world wars, and other wars. how do temple workers do vicarious sealings for them? is there such a thing as post-death "arranged" vicarious sealings?

what does it all mean?

[Jenda]

Jack, IMO, marriage is not necessary, but then, not being LDS, I don't hold with the same opinion as others. I believe what Christ said in the NT. There will be no marriages, nor will there be giving in marriage (weddings) in the hereafter.

(But I am sure you will get different responses from others here. B) )

[Guest Unorthodox]

:)

[Guest Peace]

Originally posted by jackvance88@Jun 9 2004, 11:58 AM

serious question. i doubt i'll ever get married in the forseeable future, but what does it really matter. i can find no mention whatsoever of marriage as a necessary ordinance in the old or new testaments or even in the book of mormon. i'm not saying i dissagree with what it says in D&C, but seems to me like the central message in the NT and BOM is that we exercise faith, repent, get baptized (be born again), receive the holy ghost and spend the rest of our lives living the two great commandments. christ showed us how to enter the kingdom of god/celestial kingdom/inherit the earth etc ... even the D&C doesn't say marriage is needed to do that.

so, should i be content with just becoming a son of god and a co-heir with christ, if marriage is not something i'm not capable of or don't desire?

isn't salvation dependant upon us only? if i want to repent and be baptized, i can go do it. if i want to do good works, obey the law of chastity, word of wisdom etc, i just do it. if marriage is a necessary ordinance, why can't i then just go do it, call the bishop tonight and say i feel ready to have my marriage ordinance?

why should my salvation be taken out of my hands. even if i do marry, surely for every temple marriage there are plenty where one spouse may not even make it into the celestial kingdom. you never can know the spiritual status of your spouse, we're all alone with God at the end of the day, like CS Lewis once wrote.

what about polygamy? what about the 10,000,000 single men and women who died in the two world wars, and other wars. how do temple workers do vicarious sealings for them? is there such a thing as post-death "arranged" vicarious sealings?

what does it all mean?

Okay...I'm going to take a stab at this....

First of all...everything we are asked to do, brings us to a more self-LESS state of being. The greater your self-LESS state of being...the greater your kingdom...

Marriage requires the most self-less of all situations that I am aware of...save that of being a mother and wife. which comes with marriage...(hopefully)

And Celestial Kingdom's highest level become Gods....to create their own posterity eternally...try that alone if you will, but I doubt you will produce much of anything...

Getting the picture of WHY marriage is necessary might help you understand the need for marriage in order to obtain the highest kingdom.

Also....for those who CAN'T get married because of physical disabilities....or other things beyond their own power, if they are righteous, they will be given to a righteous companion after this life.

Now I hope no one brings us that 'will not be given in marriage after this life'...thing...cause I could write a book on that one...

[Guest Ruthie-chan]

Yes it matters.

D&C section 131 says so.

If you want to make it to the top in the Celestial Kingdom you need to have an eternal marriage.

This isn't to say marry the first mormon girl or boy you look twice at (not sure what gender you are), but that you shouldn't avoid marriage.

My sister 30 years, unmarried. She wants to get married, but the spirit has yet to reveal who she should marry.

The D&C are fundamental parts of Mormon scripture.

To ignore them is like ignoring your left hand.

[Guest lt]

Ruthie,

Thank you ...I agree totally.

Laureltree

[Faerie]

considering the first commandment given to man was to leave mother and father and to cleave unto one another and multiply and replenish the earth...

i say it's important...

oh and that thing called the Family Proclomation...

[Cal]

Originally posted by jackvance88@Jun 9 2004, 10:58 AM

serious question. i doubt i'll ever get married in the forseeable future, but what does it really matter. i can find no mention whatsoever of marriage as a necessary ordinance in the old or new testaments or even in the book of mormon. i'm not saying i dissagree with what it says in D&C, but seems to me like the central message in the NT and BOM is that we exercise faith, repent, get baptized (be born again), receive the holy ghost and spend the rest of our lives living the two great commandments. christ showed us how to enter the kingdom of god/celestial kingdom/inherit the earth etc ... even the D&C doesn't say marriage is needed to do that.

so, should i be content with just becoming a son of god and a co-heir with christ, if marriage is not something i'm not capable of or don't desire?

isn't salvation dependant upon us only? if i want to repent and be baptized, i can go do it. if i want to do good works, obey the law of chastity, word of wisdom etc, i just do it. if marriage is a necessary ordinance, why can't i then just go do it, call the bishop tonight and say i feel ready to have my marriage ordinance?

why should my salvation be taken out of my hands. even if i do marry, surely for every temple marriage there are plenty where one spouse may not even make it into the celestial kingdom. you never can know the spiritual status of your spouse, we're all alone with God at the end of the day, like CS Lewis once wrote.

what about polygamy? what about the 10,000,000 single men and women who died in the two world wars, and other wars. how do temple workers do vicarious sealings for them? is there such a thing as post-death "arranged" vicarious sealings?

what does it all mean?

The only authoritative statement about the necessity of marriage is in DC 131 and I think 132. But, this statement is mainly about polygamy and says that if you want to have perpetual offspring in the hereafter, you have to be a polygamist (that was what the revelation was about historically). It says nothing about marriage being necessary to enter the celestial kingdom. Since then a whole bunch of traditions have arizen in the LDS church about why you have to get married to go to the celestial kingdom, but the original revelation about it was about polygamy only. It was about JS taking on extra wives, and telling Emma, his first, that if she didn't like it, she would be destroyed.

It is also common sunday school doctrine in the LDS church that only those married in the LDS temple can be together with their families, as implied by the "families can be together forever" mantra. Nevertheless, there is no official scripture that says that. IMHO it is a line missionaries use to lure people to the church with the fear that they will not be with their loved ones in the hereafter if they don't join the mormon church and marry in the LDS temple.

I've asked the question several times, "where is the scriptural evidence that non-lds that don't marry in our temples won't be able to hang out together in the hereafter?" So far no one has produced one scripture that says that.

[broadway]

I will agree with everyone here and say that it depends on your motives...

If you want to have the opportunity to become a god (or goddess) and create your own world, you need to be married...otherwise, no. You can make it to the Kingdom of our Heavenly Father without being married.

[Ray]

It’s not so much that you need to be married so that you can create your own world, but so that you can create your own children. (According to God’s laws, to have children you need to be married to someone of the opposite sex.)

Why would you want your own world if you were the only person who was going to be living on it anyway? What would you spend your time doing, if you were going to live the rest of eternity as a single person? You will need something to do, and not all of your activities will be selfish.

Plainly, you will be given things to do by the people who can use your assistance. :)

[Traveler]

It has already been stated - what is necessary depends of the blessing expected.

One cannot expect any blessings when they are not willing to convenant with G-d. I see nothing in the scrptures to indicate that a part covenant is acceptable for justification.

In Matt 5:48 it says to be "Perfect". Many do not understand that the ancient meaning of "Perfect" could be better understood as "Complete". Complete meant to seek G-d's will in all things. I submit it is the will of G-d that mankind enter into mariage that will bring children into the world (replinish human life).

One last thought - One does not acomplish things that are great without great effort.

The Traveler

[Guest Starsky]

Originally posted by Traveler@Jun 11 2004, 04:52 PM

It has already been stated - what is necessary depends of the blessing expected.

One cannot expect any blessings when they are not willing to convenant with G-d. I see nothing in the scrptures to indicate that a part covenant is acceptable for justification.

In Matt 5:48 it says to be "Perfect". Many do not understand that the ancient meaning of "Perfect" could be better understood as "Complete". Complete meant to seek G-d's will in all things. I submit it is the will of G-d that mankind enter into mariage that will bring children into the world (replinish human life).

One last thought - One does not acomplish things that are great without great effort.

The Traveler

D&C 130:

18 Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.

19 And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.

20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

Interestingly enough ... what God has joined together...let no man put asunder....God joined man and woman....set a standard, an example, a pattern to follow, if you will....even if you won't.

Marriage is a way to gain intelligence..../glory. Also having children is a way of gaining more intelligence. Have you ever encountered someone who is old, who never had marriage and children. It is like they haven't lived yet....they may know everything about everything.....but they lack experience and depth in a very basic element of life, and it shows.

I am not condemning those who have not married....maybe they just didn't need all that intelligence ....and experience....maybe they were way ahead of the rest of us poor goofballs...in intelligence before we came here.

[shanstress70]

I don't believe that bringing children into the world is a necessity. I think the commandment to be fruitful and multiply was given to humankind as a whole... not to each person individually. And the world is replenished! There are enough people. Maybe God didn't tell us we needed to stop because he assumed that we would when we reached a billion or so! Also, I know many people who don't want children. Would you want those people to have children so that they can be unwanted and possibly abused or neglected?

Just my take on the whole thing! Unless we have a mistake, I have already contributed my one child to the world.

[Traveler]

Originally posted by shanstress70@Jun 11 2004, 06:31 PM

I don't believe that bringing children into the world is a necessity. I think the commandment to be fruitful and multiply was given to humankind as a whole... not to each person individually. And the world is replenished! There are enough people. Maybe God didn't tell us we needed to stop because he assumed that we would when we reached a billion or so! Also, I know many people who don't want children. Would you want those people to have children so that they can be unwanted and possibly abused or neglected?

Just my take on the whole thing! Unless we have a mistake, I have already contributed my one child to the world.

Mankind cannot survive without bringing children into the world.

I would point out there is a great difference between sacrifice and selfishness. One cannot pretend to be a “Christian” and not suffer little children. I am not saying all should be forced to suffer children - only real Christian believe it is necessary and understand how caring for children as a parent provides knowledge of our Father in Heaven.

The Traveler

[Cal]

Originally posted by broadway@Jun 9 2004, 08:40 PM

I will agree with everyone here and say that it depends on your motives...

If you want to have the opportunity to become a god (or goddess) and create your own world, you need to be married...otherwise, no. You can make it to the Kingdom of our Heavenly Father without being married.

By the way, why would anyone in their right mind want to create a "world" that could go thru what this one has?

[Cal]

Originally posted by Peace+Jun 9 2004, 12:03 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Peace @ Jun 9 2004, 12:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--jackvance88@Jun 9 2004, 11:58 AM

serious question. i doubt i'll ever get married in the forseeable future, but what does it really matter. i can find no mention whatsoever of marriage as a necessary ordinance in the old or new testaments or even in the book of mormon. i'm not saying i dissagree with what it says in D&C, but seems to me like the central message in the NT and BOM is that we exercise faith, repent, get baptized (be born again), receive the holy ghost and spend the rest of our lives living the two great commandments. christ showed us how to enter the kingdom of god/celestial kingdom/inherit the earth etc ... even the D&C doesn't say marriage is needed to do that.

so, should i be content with just becoming a son of god and a co-heir with christ, if marriage is not something i'm not capable of or don't desire?

isn't salvation dependant upon us only? if i want to repent and be baptized, i can go do it. if i want to do good works, obey the law of chastity, word of wisdom etc, i just do it. if marriage is a necessary ordinance, why can't i then just go do it, call the bishop tonight and say i feel ready to have my marriage ordinance?

why should my salvation be taken out of my hands. even if i do marry, surely for every temple marriage there are plenty where one spouse may not even make it into the celestial kingdom. you never can know the spiritual status of your spouse, we're all alone with God at the end of the day, like CS Lewis once wrote.

what about polygamy? what about the 10,000,000 single men and women who died in the two world wars, and other wars. how do temple workers do vicarious sealings for them? is there such a thing as post-death "arranged" vicarious sealings?

what does it all mean?

Okay...I'm going to take a stab at this....

First of all...everything we are asked to do, brings us to a more self-LESS state of being. The greater your self-LESS state of being...the greater your kingdom...

Marriage requires the most self-less of all situations that I am aware of...save that of being a mother and wife. which comes with marriage...(hopefully)

And Celestial Kingdom's highest level become Gods....to create their own posterity eternally...try that alone if you will, but I doubt you will produce much of anything...

Getting the picture of WHY marriage is necessary might help you understand the need for marriage in order to obtain the highest kingdom.

Also....for those who CAN'T get married because of physical disabilities....or other things beyond their own power, if they are righteous, they will be given to a righteous companion after this life.

Now I hope no one brings us that 'will not be given in marriage after this life'...thing...cause I could write a book on that one...

Why do you want to go to the Highest level. All you are going to have authority to do is make babies. You don't get to call ANY of the shots, and will be totally dominated by your hubby. You won't even get to communicate with all the children you populate these worlds with. They won't even know your name....in fact, they won't even be able to talk to you....sounds like a real picnic.

[Cal]

Originally posted by Peace+Jun 9 2004, 12:03 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Peace @ Jun 9 2004, 12:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--jackvance88@Jun 9 2004, 11:58 AM

serious question. i doubt i'll ever get married in the forseeable future, but what does it really matter. i can find no mention whatsoever of marriage as a necessary ordinance in the old or new testaments or even in the book of mormon. i'm not saying i dissagree with what it says in D&C, but seems to me like the central message in the NT and BOM is that we exercise faith, repent, get baptized (be born again), receive the holy ghost and spend the rest of our lives living the two great commandments. christ showed us how to enter the kingdom of god/celestial kingdom/inherit the earth etc ... even the D&C doesn't say marriage is needed to do that.

so, should i be content with just becoming a son of god and a co-heir with christ, if marriage is not something i'm not capable of or don't desire?

isn't salvation dependant upon us only? if i want to repent and be baptized, i can go do it. if i want to do good works, obey the law of chastity, word of wisdom etc, i just do it. if marriage is a necessary ordinance, why can't i then just go do it, call the bishop tonight and say i feel ready to have my marriage ordinance?

why should my salvation be taken out of my hands. even if i do marry, surely for every temple marriage there are plenty where one spouse may not even make it into the celestial kingdom. you never can know the spiritual status of your spouse, we're all alone with God at the end of the day, like CS Lewis once wrote.

what about polygamy? what about the 10,000,000 single men and women who died in the two world wars, and other wars. how do temple workers do vicarious sealings for them? is there such a thing as post-death "arranged" vicarious sealings?

what does it all mean?

Okay...I'm going to take a stab at this....

First of all...everything we are asked to do, brings us to a more self-LESS state of being. The greater your self-LESS state of being...the greater your kingdom...

Marriage requires the most self-less of all situations that I am aware of...save that of being a mother and wife. which comes with marriage...(hopefully)

And Celestial Kingdom's highest level become Gods....to create their own posterity eternally...try that alone if you will, but I doubt you will produce much of anything...

Getting the picture of WHY marriage is necessary might help you understand the need for marriage in order to obtain the highest kingdom.

Also....for those who CAN'T get married because of physical disabilities....or other things beyond their own power, if they are righteous, they will be given to a righteous companion after this life.

Now I hope no one brings us that 'will not be given in marriage after this life'...thing...cause I could write a book on that one...

Selfless state of being? There is no such thing as "selflessness". In fact it is an oxymoron. How can you be a "self" and then "not a self" (meaning "less").

Everything people do is selfish. It's just that some actions have consequences for OTHERS that is either praiseworthy or less so.

Let me give you some examples: Why do you want your children to be happy? Answer: because it makes YOU happy to see them that way. Would you want them to be happy, if seeing them happy made you sad? Even the most seemingly selfless acts, actually are done for purely selfish reasons. For example: I save someone from drowning. Why did I do it. Several reasons, all selfish..they are: If I don't try I will feel very BAD and guilty to know that person died because of my selfishness. So why did you save him...So YOU wouldn't feel bad....at its core, a selfish reason. OR, if I save him I will be proud of myself, I will be living up to my own sense of what is good...making you feel good. Nobel, but selfish reasons. If there is NO reward in it, in anyway, you just don't do it.

My point: The concept of selfishness should not be refered to the way you do...but rather, we should label the KINDS of selfishness...that is...selfishness that benefits others and selfishness that benefits no one but oneself, or worse, benefits oneself at the EXPENSE of another.

Bottomline--some selfishness is more noble than other kinds of selfishness. But there is no such thing as selflessness. Living things are just not programmed that way. Even if your are masochistic, there is some reward in it for you psychologically....you feel good about the behavior because you are pleasing someone somehow, and that prevents you from feeling guilty.

[Guest enlightenme]

Originally posted by Cal+Jun 12 2004, 01:23 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Cal @ Jun 12 2004, 01:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -Peace@Jun 9 2004, 12:03 PM

<!--QuoteBegin--jackvance88@Jun 9 2004, 11:58 AM

serious question. i doubt i'll ever get married in the forseeable future, but what does it really matter. i can find no mention whatsoever of marriage as a necessary ordinance in the old or new testaments or even in the book of mormon. i'm not saying i dissagree with what it says in D&C, but seems to me like the central message in the NT and BOM is that we exercise faith, repent, get baptized (be born again), receive the holy ghost and spend the rest of our lives living the two great commandments. christ showed us how to enter the kingdom of god/celestial kingdom/inherit the earth etc ... even the D&C doesn't say marriage is needed to do that.

so, should i be content with just becoming a son of god and a co-heir with christ, if marriage is not something i'm not capable of or don't desire?

isn't salvation dependant upon us only? if i want to repent and be baptized, i can go do it. if i want to do good works, obey the law of chastity, word of wisdom etc, i just do it. if marriage is a necessary ordinance, why can't i then just go do it, call the bishop tonight and say i feel ready to have my marriage ordinance?

why should my salvation be taken out of my hands. even if i do marry, surely for every temple marriage there are plenty where one spouse may not even make it into the celestial kingdom. you never can know the spiritual status of your spouse, we're all alone with God at the end of the day, like CS Lewis once wrote.

what about polygamy? what about the 10,000,000 single men and women who died in the two world wars, and other wars. how do temple workers do vicarious sealings for them? is there such a thing as post-death "arranged" vicarious sealings?

what does it all mean?

Okay...I'm going to take a stab at this....

First of all...everything we are asked to do, brings us to a more self-LESS state of being. The greater your self-LESS state of being...the greater your kingdom...

Marriage requires the most self-less of all situations that I am aware of...save that of being a mother and wife. which comes with marriage...(hopefully)

And Celestial Kingdom's highest level become Gods....to create their own posterity eternally...try that alone if you will, but I doubt you will produce much of anything...

Getting the picture of WHY marriage is necessary might help you understand the need for marriage in order to obtain the highest kingdom.

Also....for those who CAN'T get married because of physical disabilities....or other things beyond their own power, if they are righteous, they will be given to a righteous companion after this life.

Now I hope no one brings us that 'will not be given in marriage after this life'...thing...cause I could write a book on that one...

Selfless state of being? There is no such thing as "selflessness". In fact it is an oxymoron. How can you be a "self" and then "not a self" (meaning "less").

Everything people do is selfish. It's just that some actions have consequences for OTHERS that is either praiseworthy or less so.

Let me give you some examples: Why do you want your children to be happy? Answer: because it makes YOU happy to see them that way. Would you want them to be happy, if seeing them happy made you sad? Even the most seemingly selfless acts, actually are done for purely selfish reasons. For example: I save someone from drowning. Why did I do it. Several reasons, all selfish..they are: If I don't try I will feel very BAD and guilty to know that person died because of my selfishness. So why did you save him...So YOU wouldn't feel bad....at its core, a selfish reason. OR, if I save him I will be proud of myself, I will be living up to my own sense of what is good...making you feel good. Nobel, but selfish reasons. If there is NO reward in it, in anyway, you just don't do it.

My point: The concept of selfishness should not be refered to the way you do...but rather, we should label the KINDS of selfishness...that is...selfishness that benefits others and selfishness that benefits no one but oneself, or worse, benefits oneself at the EXPENSE of another.

Bottomline--some selfishness is more noble than other kinds of selfishness. But there is no such thing as selflessness. Living things are just not programmed that way. Even if your are masochistic, there is some reward in it for you psychologically....you feel good about the behavior because you are pleasing someone somehow, and that prevents you from feeling guilty.

Well, not everyone thinks like you Cal. I will disagree with you on this.... not that it matters to you ..... but I would not save someone to feel good about myself. I would save someone because it would HELP THEM.... I could careless what would happens to me. If I couldn't save them I would feel bad for them, not me, why would I feel guilty about something that I couldn't control....

[broadway]

Originally posted by Cal+Jun 12 2004, 02:01 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Cal @ Jun 12 2004, 02:01 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--broadway@Jun 9 2004, 08:40 PM

I will agree with everyone here and say that it depends on your motives...

If you want to have the opportunity to become a god (or goddess) and create your own world, you need to be married...otherwise, no. You can make it to the Kingdom of our Heavenly Father without being married.

By the way, why would anyone in their right mind want to create a "world" that could go thru what this one has?

not all worlds do. This (according to the theories of some) is the worst world created by our heanevly father, that is why Christ had to come here to be crucified, none of the other worlds would do it.

...................................................................................................................................................................

editing it to make sure that it is clear that I do not believe that God created this world to be worse than the others.

it just happened that way the same way that the Jews were the only race that would crucify Christ.

[Ray]

Originally posted by Cal@ Jun 12 2004, 01:10 PM

Why do you want to go to the Highest level. All you are going to have authority to do is make babies. You don't get to call ANY of the shots, and will be totally dominated by your hubby. You won't even get to communicate with all the children you populate these worlds with. They won't even know your name....in fact, they won't even be able to talk to you....sounds like a real picnic.

Where oh where did you get these ideas?

All you are going to have authority to do is make babies.  You don't get to call ANY of the shots, and will be totally dominated by your hubby.

Is that all the authority that we as God’s children have now? No. We are given authority over what God has given us authority over, and we will continue to have authority over such things until we show that we are not worthy of these stewardships.

You won't even get to communicate with all the children you populate these worlds with. They won't even know your name... in fact, they won't even be able to talk to you... sounds like a real picnic.

Do you have any grounds for these beliefs of yours or do you just make stuff like this up?

Don’t you know that our heavenly parents spoke to us before we came to this Earth, that our heavenly Father continues to speak to us now, and that we will be able to speak with both of them again in the future? The only ones who don’t hear from our heavenly Father right now are the ones who don’t really want to, and that will be their same situation in the future. Those who want to, do, and always will as long as they really want to. And given the fact that we will live as immortal and eternal beings, we will have the rest of forever to get to know both of them even better than we know them now.

Btw, considering that we're fast approaching Father's day, I really think you should give some consideration to the importance of the Fathers in your family.

[Nicodemus]

Originally posted by Peace@Jun 9 2004, 01:03 PM

Now I hope no one brings us that 'will not be given in marriage after this life'...thing...cause I could write a book on that one...

Could you summarize it?

[Guest Starsky]

Selfless state of being? There is no such thing as "selflessness". In fact it is an oxymoron. How can you be a "self" and then "not a self" (meaning "less").

Well that is the most uneducated work up I have ever witnessed. LOL Here is a dictionary reference for you:

Dictionary

selfless

\Self"less\, a. Having no regard to self; unselfish.

Lo now, what hearts have men! they never mount As high as woman in her selfless mood. --Tennyson.