BusyMom

Check and see if her doctor and psychiatrist will write a prescription for a postpatum doula. Then see if her insurance will cover the cost. Postpartum doulas are trained in baby care, sibling care, light housekeeping, healthy diet, breastfeeding and some have training in postpartum mood disorders. This will take it outside the church and put it into the hands of a paid professional. This may help her to not feel guilty about taking someone's time. I know I help moms put together activity boxes for the kids, get meals prepped, put snacks in fridge, do light laundry and overall whatever mom needs. Some will do a suicide watch if requested and the doctor or psychiatrist should document this so the doula will get reimbursed for her time.

Another way to look at this is that the families who are in college receiving temporary help will be able to support their families and bless the lives of others through their education and training. The help is available for families in need. Pregnancy is not always planned. It does not always correspond to the way we are planning out our lives. I think we must be careful not to be so quick to judgment. My decisons will not be your decisions; my life is not your life. We must value and sustain and nurture one another and help each other to build a relationship with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. It's not a competition!

I think that childbearing and childrearing are very personal decisions. I, personally, am very grateful that we have a loving Heavenly Father who provides us with personal revelation. In my case, I got a "surprise" baby after completing only a semester of college. She is the biggest blessing in my life, I can not imagine my life without her and the joy she brings into it! I am currently working on my 2nd Master's degree so going to school is possible even with children. That doesn't mean it wasn't fraught with its own challenges but I imagine there would just be a different set had I waited. It would have be easy to rationalize waiting a bit more "Well, I finished school. Now I have loans and I need to work." "I need to be established in my career so let's wait" and then let's wait until we can buy the bigger house or I get a specific promotion or whatever. That's why it's really important that each couple listen to personal revelation to help them guide their decisions. It's a big decision to have children and there will be challenges no matter what. If we follow what Heavenly Father wants us to do we can't go wrong. Read what the prophets have said, weigh out your situation in your mind, and take your concerns to the Lord, you will know what is best and you will be able to provide for your children through the grace and blessing of the Lord. As it stands, my youngest child starts kindergarten in the fall. I will be finishing my course work for my program next summer and in the fall need to start an internship that will last 3 quarters (900 hours) and then I have to have supervised work experience for 2500 hours. The timing is great! I really hit having to be at work when my daughter starts first grade and is in a full day classroom. This corresponds perfectly to the needs of my family and in the meantime the Lord is blessing us abundantly with financial blessings to take us through.

I just posted some info in the group about unmedicated birth and calculating due dates!!

To join the group, go to the Groups Page and then to Family and Home. My group is "I'm Pregnant...Now What???" You open the group and then request to join. I will get some material posted within the week, I just have to get some homework done first. Can't wait to see you there!!! Jamie P.S. I was a student with my first baby and had my second 3 months before I graduated...it can be done!!!

Please join my group Pregnancy Information and Support!

I am inviting everyone to join the Pregnancy Information and Support Group I just created. I am a Certified Childbirth Educator and will provided informational posts at least once a week as well as answering questions and providing support. See you there!

Hire a doula at the beginning of your pregnancy! I am a labor and postpartum doula so I have a biased opinion, but I have also birthed with and without a doula and know the difference it made for me. I have had some clients who have hired me at the beginning of their pregnancies (like when they were 6 weeks pregnant). I begin providing education right away about nutrition, prenatal testing, warning signs, and the like. I am also available by phone or e-mail just to provide emotional support and information. Near the end of pregnancy, we start working on options and reviewing what is being learned in childbirth education classes. Once labor starts, the doula will provide continuous suppot and encouragement. She helps mom to trust her body, helps her change positions and breathing patterns, helps her navigate the hospital and helps her partner participate in the birthing process. It really will provide a valuable resource for you...and help reduce some of your anxieties. The cost ranges from around $500-$1000+. If you hire your doula early, most doulas will accept payments and this makes it smaller payments. If you have more questions or want help locating a doula in your area, my e-mail is [email protected] Jamie

Thank you Pinkcow!

TG: I am glad to know someone else's children have problems putting on shoes too!!! Sometimes I feel so far from a good mom but it sounds like it just might be life with young children. Thanks for making me feel better.

Encourage them to develop a relationship with their Heavenly Father. Help them to understand that by developing a relationship through prayer and scripture study that they can gain personal answers to their personal situations. Help them to understand that this relationship is built on trusting and this can be difficult, esp. as we are first trying and learning. Help them to see that once they can trust Heavenly Father to keep his promises that they can trust he will help them have the best and he will sort out all the details that are needed in the eternities. We do not have to worry about the details! We need to do our best, develop our relationship with our Heavenly Father, and serve and help others. The gospel is good news! We do not have to get bogged down in the details, Heavenly Father has a plan and he will fulfill it for our good if we let him.

I became a childbirth educator through ALACE's distance learning program. I had to complete the 9 or 10 modules covering different aspects of childbirth. I completed a reading list of about 20 books. I taught several couples with good evaluations and was certified. And now, I attend coferences and classes every year to maintain my certification. Currently, I teach couples privately in their homes. This is really a wonderful option for couples who live far from the hospital, who want the personal attention of private classes, or moms who are bedridden and can't make it to a class. I have applied to a couple of hospitals in the area to teach and would love to see that come back positively. Jamie

Congratulations sisters! I am not currently pregnant myself but I am a doula and childbirth educator. I LOVE helping women in the childbearing year.

Rachel: Check out Ann Taylor Loft's sale rack while you are shopping. I have had very good luck with their clothes. How far postpartum are you and are you breastfeeding? I ask because this will affect your shape. It is hard to dress modestly in this day and age. I wear scrubs to work and actually I love them. They are modest, comfy, and easy to match!!! Wish I could wear them all the time, it's so much easier. I love capris in the summer. I also have to wear camisoles underneath the majority of my tops because of bust size. Have a great shopping trip and have fun!!! Try on and find things you absolutely LOVE!!! And congratulations on your new baby boy! Jamie

I am so sorry for your pain. It seems just when you are feeling peace, the wound is getting reopened and someone is pouring salt on it. From personal experience (not with this), this just stinks!! I hope you have a really good counselor, it makes a great deal of difference when going through a crisis. You will need help rebuilding your identity, getting stronger and feeling capable to deal with this, and knowing what you want. It will take time! Do not expect yourself to forgive him right away. You need to process your feelings and be able to make good, solid, inspiration based decisions. You will have to decide what is right for you. Sexual addictions are very difficult to work with; it will take a lot for him to overcome this...I am trying to give you some insight here, not scare you. Please give yourself the gift of time and patience. Do not expect too much of yourself right now. Having been through a different crisis recently, allow yourself to buy conveinence foods, to cry, to not have all the housework done, and to take care of yourself. It will take time to get through this crisis. And you have a new baby!!! Look into some help right now, this is a gift to yourself. Maids, postpartum doulas, or nannies could be options to help you. This will give you rest, help with the household chores and children, and space to heal. Your health, your healing is absolutely essential to you and your family...it is not a luxury!!! Good luck! I hope you find yourself, your strength, and the path that is right for you and your family. Busy Mom

Charley-- Can I say I am jealous? I could be a counselor in the UK!!! And here I am studying away and getting ready to do a ton of internship hours:o. I hope you enjoy your trainings, I have learned so much and I truly love what I do which makes it the best!!! I am just moving back into the childbith arena and it is wonderful!!! BusyMom

Elgama: Happiest Baby on the Block is a program designed by Dr. Harvey Karp to help parents calm fussy infants. He is a pediatrican who developed the program in response to seeing babies with Shaken Baby Syndrome and frazzled parents. I love this program because it is simple to follow and use. It uses 5 steps to help parents. Are you looking into being a labor or postpartum doula or both? I do both. I LOVE being a doula, I love being with families and helping them to welcome a new member into their home. Personally, I think that for some moms that anti-depressants that can be a lifeline. I think for others the lack of social support and unrealistic expectations placed on mothers by our culture and society exacerbate pospartum depression. I am looking forward to gettting into my counseling program far enough that I can start working with clients under supervision. How long does a counseling program take in the UK? It is a graduate program here in the states and takes 3-5 years post bachelor's program to complete. It is quite extensive and requirees 900 hours of internship plus 2 1-week residencies. I feel passionate and very inspired to do this work so I know it will work out in the end. In the middle though I wonder how I'm ever going to make it!!! I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do. I wish I didn't have to charge for my services, I just love what I do.

Elgama: Happiest Baby on the Block is a program designed by Dr. Harvey Karp to help parents calm fussy infants. He is a pediatrican who developed the program in response to seeing babies with Shaken Baby Syndrome and frazzled parents. I love this program because it is simple to follow and use. It uses 5 steps to help parents. Are you looking into being a labor or postpartum doula or both? I do both. I LOVE being a doula, I love being with families and helping them to welcome a new member into their home. Personally, I think that for some moms that anti-depressants that can be a lifeline. I think for others the lack of social support and unrealistic expectations placed on mothers by our culture and society exacerbate pospartum depression. I am looking forward to gettting into my counseling program far enough that I can start working with clients under supervision. How long does a counseling program take in the UK? It is a graduate program here in the states and takes 3-5 years post bachelor's program to complete. It is quite extensive and requirees 900 hours of internship plus 2 1-week residencies. I feel passionate and very inspired to do this work so I know it will work out in the end. In the middle though I wonder how I'm ever going to make it!!!

I agree that I did the right thing to pull her out and take care of the situation. It is much better now. My point was that my education allowed me to take the unusual step of flex-time, telecommuting and keeping some income coming in. This was a benefit to my family as the professional assistance needed was not inexpensive. It was also a benefit to me to have a place to go once a week and have some social interaction. Raising children is difficult but when you are dealing with severe behavior problems it is intense. I couldn't even go out to shop because I didn't know if she would act out. There was more than simple "not being disciplined" principles at play. The ideas of telecommuting and flextime are not new but when you consider that I work in Early Childhood Education, it is amazing that the opportunity to work in a different capacity and take advantage of these options came into my life. My point is that education can enable women to keep their families first!!! If I had to work a traditional schedule, this would be impossible for me to keep my family first. I know the need to work has been debated but I need to work and I am grateful for my education. I know that women can create a spiritual home without an education and can do an excellent job at it. I also know that when finances are stretched and there isn't enough to enjoy your family, when there are job problems, or when mothers feel alone and unsupported, it is also difficult to create a spiritual home. The value in education isn't that it makes you better, it simply opens new doors that can benefit families based on their unique needs. I just would hate for women to give up on their education that in the future could be the doors they need opened. I do not disagree that our families are our first priority and I agree with that 100%. BusyMom

Here was my personal issue with the talk. Sister Beck seemed to demean education for women. First, Brigham Young stated that if he had the choice the educate his daughter or his sons, he would educate his daughters because they raise the next generation. I am well-educated woman and I am currently working part-time outside the home. My job is fulfilling and I like the opportunity to interact socially and not be isolated. I have a Master's degree. Last year, my daughter went through some intense behavioral problems that we were unsure of their origin and the normal behavioral plans were not effective in bringing the problem into control. I was able to work from home part of my days, go into to work once a week, and participate in teleconferences. This was for a period of three months while I was able to work with professionals to help uncover what my daughter was facing. Had I not had my education this would not have been a possibility, I would have lost my job! I have seen my co-workers let go for similiar situations because they do not have the education. In addition, many of the resources made available to my family during this time were a direct result of my employment. My education has also helped me through some very difficult family times because I had the knowledge to understand and make good decisions. Women need to have choices! Education is the key to opening doors and expanding opportunities. That was my major issue is that education was seen as "extra fluff" and I personally disagree with that. BusyMom

Hi All: I am new here and this is actually my first post in any of the forums. I am a doula, childbirth educator and Happiest Baby on the Block educator. I really believe in the power of birth and attachment for families. I have 5 children of my own. I have used several of the principles outlined in Attachment Parenting. I used to get lots of strange looks when I used my sling but I LOVED it!!! I co-slept with my babies. I love being an educator because I have the chance to introduce new ideas to couples who are just starting out. I also like Happiest Baby becaue it is so gentle and so easy to follow and it works!!! Research is showing that methods such as crying it out are harmful to babies and lead to anxiety and other disorders in adulthood. I am glad to see this forum opening up. BusyMom:)