foreverafter

Pam, He said it in the last Regional Conference held & televised for most, if not all, of Utah Valley & maybe other parts too. I immediately wrote it down when he said it. I'm not sure where you can find a transcript of that conference. It was back in the Spring though. Maybe check the Church News to see if they reported on that conference.

Yes, he is usually 1st on the scene to try to decieve us when we are in need of help & guidance. In fact, we are rarely left alone from being continually bombarded with the enticings of Satan. Heavenly Father allows him to, to see if we will be able to discern his falsehoods & instead follow the inspirations from the right Spirit, which usually comes after being tested by the wrong Spirit.

Thank you for your comments Grandma. Yes, it is true that Satan can influence us in the temple, by thoughts, feelings, impressions, ideas, etc. All of which can be considered revelation, but from the wrong source of course. One of the things many members don't realize is how easy it is to be deceived & that the Prophets have warned that most members will be these days. Satan is usually the 1st one to answer our prayers when we are praying about something & his inspiration always sounds good to us & what we really want to hear. So we can easily fall for it & consider it from the right Spirit. Whereas, Heavenly Father usually tells us things we don't want to hear, that take alot of faith & sacrifice to follow. The Adversary can mimick every feeling & emotion, except 'peace'. But the unrighteous have lost their 'peace' & are living in a world of emotion, but don't realize it & they think they still have the spirit & so that is where the Adversary tricks them. Most wicked people think they are righteous or right. So whatever bad Spirit they are used to listening to they assume is a good spirit. Adulterers & Abusers hardly ever think they are such, until repentance finally comes upon them & they can't believe they were so deceived & blinded. Just as the Savior said, they truely do not know what they do. But they are accountable for letting theirselves get to such a point & lose the right Spirit & thus they are accountable for all they do while so deceived. If they carry that bad spirit that possesses them, into the temple, then yes, that same spirit can still give them revelation, which is any spirit, good or bad, communicating with ours & it can come in any form of communication. The wicked & those possessed of the Adversary seem to easily get into the temple unfortunately, usually undetected & they don't lose that bad spirit & their ability to hear the wrong spirit just because they walk in the doors. Believing that we can't be deceived in the temple is exactly why so many people are. I have known of many people over the years who say that they were told in the temple by the 'Spirit' to abuse or commit adultery or abandon their children & good & faithful spouses. Now they didn't see their actions as abuse, adultery or abandonment, but it clearly was, & if you compare it to what the Prophets teach you see that it is. That is our key, to always compare our revelation & inspiration with what the Presidents of the Church have said, for it will never differ, if it does than we know it is from the wrong spirit. That's our golden key. That is how we can be sure & safe. This is taught over & over by Church leaders. The Spirit will never tell us anything that is not in harmony with what the Presidents of the Church have said. But again, the Adversary is very successful in getting many to believe that they are the exception to this rule.

Pam, While some, if not most people are deceived to think that God confirmed their decision to divorce (& inside the temple is the Adversary's favorite place to decieve people on this cause most think he can't influence them in there, but he can & does all the time) & thus they think that they are justified, but that doesn't mean that some rare individuals (like maybe yourself) can really be told they are justified. It's just we must be very careful & sure, by comparing all our personal revelation with what the Presidents of the Church have said, then we will be safe, cause the spirit never tells us anything different than what the Presidents of the Church say.

Pam, The Prophets did say that there may be a rare justified situation that justifies divorce, only you know if yours was such. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like you were not justified, I understand how serious abuse is. I was merely talking about all the rest of the divorces that are not justified & how it can appear that they are getting away with it, at least for now. I have just known so very many people who have abandoned their good & faithful spouses & have claimed to be justified, when they are really the destructive one in the relationship but they can't see it. The destruction they cause is enormous.

Nobody gets away with anything in this life, especially not something as evil, destructive & abusive as divorce. As Pres. Packer said a few months back, "Everyone knows when they do wrong." Members of the Church especially, have no excuse that they didn't know (or couldn't have found out) how serious & sacred their marriage vows were, it's very easy to find this out, if one will just search, ponder & pray alittle. Only we are to blame if we don't do that & are thus deceived to break our sacred temple covenants. Since divorce can only be justified in the most rare of circumstances, as the Prophets say, (& sadly most everyone thinks that God confirmed their decision to divorce & that their situation is that rare one) all the rest who are deceived by the Adversary's whisperings & divorce unjustifiably & cancel their sealings & remarry, will not get away with it at all. The Prophets have warned that unjustified divorce is one of the most serious sins a person can commit & that those who do it will lose their Exaltation, no matter how many leaders they deceive here on earth, as they declare themselves justified & worthy. They will have to one day face & pay for their sins & the lives & hearts they destroyed, as they chose to put their own needs, happiness & welfare before their spouse's & children's.

Yes, this is so rampant in the Church. I have known many to do this. But don't be deceived. Go look up what the Presidents of the Church have said about divorce & adultery. Of course it would not be true repentance if they continued to stay together. To truely repent one must forsake the sin, that means the adulterous lover too, for part of the huge sin was abandoning & abusing your spouse by the relationship with the other person, you must forsake the abandonment & abuse by returning to your spouse. To stay with your adulterous lover, even if it's been 50 years, just continues the abandonment & abuse & neglect of your former spouse. It's easy for many to say they are repentant & that they are sorry they hurt their abandoned spouse but they tell on themselves when they don't give up the relationship & return & do all they can to make restitution to their former spouse. The proof of repentance is in the Forsaking & Restitution part. If you have ever listened to a truely repentant person who committed adultery you would know how deeply they feel the pain of the spouse that they hurt & how they would do anything to repair it. A truely repentant person would be so disgusted & repulsed & deeply remorseful for what they have done & would rather die than continue in the sin with the adulterous person or to continue to hurt & abandon their former spouse. They would want to spend the rest of their life in restitution & making it all up to the hurt spouse & children, even if the spouse didn't trust them or want them back. They would try for years to regain the trust of their former spouse & put their marriage & family back together. Adultery doesn't stop being adultery just because the people divorce & remarry their adulterous lover. Time does not equal repentance either. 100 years or even 20 children later, does not change the fact that the relationship is adultery. Only forsaking the sinful relationship does. Else bank robbers could repent too without ever giving the money back. That would sure teach people to not rob, divorce or commit adulery wouldn't it? The last word from a President of the Church on divorce is the same as it has always been, that only a rare divorce, under extreme situations, might be justifed & not be adultery: "A divorce can be justified only in the most rare of circumstances, because it often tears people's lives apart & shears family happiness." Pres. Benson, "Father, Consider Your Ways", pamphlet. (Pres. Hinckley also requoted this in a Gen. Conf. not too long ago) "No judge in all the land can annul a marriage for time & all eternity. He may separate the husband & wife by legal enactments so far as this world is concerned, but he cannot separate a husband & wife so far as the next world is concerned. When a man & his wife lose their faith & go to the courts & get a separation, & then go out & marry according to the laws of the land, they are not culpable (guilty) before the law of the land, but they are before the kingdom of God & what the Savior says here in this revelation is absolutely true:... "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, & shall marry another, committeth adultery & whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (Matt. 19:9) Pres. Joseph Fielding Smith, CR Apr. 1961. 50. "I would like to say much about Divorce. When you go home, you pick up your Bible & turn to the 19th chapter of Matthew, read the first 9 verses. I get letters sometimes from people who say, "What are we going to do?" In Matthew it reads so & so and yet the Church is not following it strictly." Well, I write back & say, "I have no authority to change the word of the Lord. Read it." Joseph Fielding Smith, Answers to Gospel Questions, Vol. 4 "Salvation is lost through divorce....A man would not get tired of his wife, if he had the love of God in his heart. A woman would not get tired of her husband, if she had in her heart the love of God. They could not do it! And think of the children. Here you have a broken home. These people get a divorce & then they want to get a cancellation perhaps, of their sealing. They want to marry somebody else. And there you have a broken home. What is going to become of the parents? What is going to become of the children? Haven't the children any rights? The parents become separated. Each going a different way, but they want to be friends! And then they expect to marry again for time & all eternity & enter the Celestial Kingdom of God to receive all the blessings of Exaltation! Are they entitled to do it? Not as I read the scriptures, they are not entitled to do it." Joseph Fielding Smith, CR Apr. 1961 (Read the whole talk for much more on the seriousness of divorce) "It is a far more serious matter for a husband & wife to seek a separation than many seem to think. The words of the Lord as recorded in Matthew 19:3-9, should be carefully considered. I am convinced, that the Lord will force some couples who separate, without justification after they have been sealed in the house of the Lord, back together again to each other, or else they will lose their reward." Joseph Fielding Smith, Church History and Modern Revelation 4:160-161.

I second this very much. I know Dr. Tracy & I also recommend her book as a top priority. I would also strongly recommend getting the book "Original Fast Foods" by James Simmons. He is LDS & is so knowledgeable & his book is a life changer for many many people. People with this & many other problems have been helped by his writings. His website is OriginalFastFoods.com I believe in the power of God's laws of health & happiness. One being, living the Word of Wisdom with exactness & another is, keeping our Marriage Covenants with True Love & exactness & putting our spouse's welfare, happiness, needs & desires before our own or anything else each day. There is great power in living these laws.

Just remember, It's impossible to love & stay faithful to a spouse forever, if we can't love & stay faithful to God.

Do whatever you can to get by without her having to work, & be her Superman, so she can fulfill her supreme role to the best of her ability & focus on you & the children full time. Being a Wife & Mother cannot be done right or well, part-time. Heber J. Grant's advice: "One of my daughters was taking vocal lessons in Liverpool, England. One day the teacher came to me and said, "I have the credit of being one of the best teachers in Liverpool, but is is a shame for you to keep her here with me. Send her to Paris -send her to Berlin. She has the finest quality of voice of any singer I have ever heard. She can make herself famous. I said, "My dear friend, I never expect her to make a single dollar with her voice. I would sooner have her sing lullabies to her own children than to make millions and become the greatest singer in the world." Why? Because in rearing children to God through her example, she was giving them a chance to get in that straight and narrow path that would lead them to life eternal." Heber J. Grant, RSM, 20:302

Jack, The only way you can help your wife put you 1st and thus fall more in love with you, is to ask her to do specific little things for you (back rub, go someplace with you, do some sport with you, make your favorite meal, etc. etc,), giving her the opportunity to serve you but only easy things to start with, lest she become upset at your asking. If she does what you ask, then give her tons of gratitude & love in return for it and continue to fulfill her every wish, so she has your good example. Asking her to serve you in little ways that won't overload her, until she can do bigger things for you, is not selfish but just the opposite, it's the loving responsible thing to do, for you are doing it for her benefit more than anything, so she can enjoy the wonderous feelings of love for you & more easily want to keep her covenants to you & thus enjoy the Spirit. It is most likely her lack of the Spirit (love) that is why she is depressed. Though we usually think that the feeling must come 1st, it's actually the other way around, actions bring the feelings. Though you may not feel like continuing to serve her every wish if she doesn't do it for you, it's vital that you do. We are to love & serve even our enemies, though she is not your enemy, but if you stop doing it too than there is little hope for your marriage & things will most likely go down hill fast. Your service alone, to her, can keep your marriage together through the rough spots, even if she never does it for you. Someday you will receive great blessings for doing this. It is possible that she is too selfish to ever serve you much & heed your requests. In that case, you have a more difficult journey ahead but one that is just an opportunity to become truely Christlike as you serve & love her the best you can, no matter what she does. The test of this life is to see if we will keep our marriage covenants to our spouse, even if they don't. You will be richly blessed for your service & one day when she realizes what you have done for her, she will be so greatful you did this for her & saved your marriage, that she will spend eternity making it all up to you & serving your every wish in return. I promise it's worth it. It's the only way to true happiness in the eternities for you and your wife & children. Marriage is all about the needs, desires, happiness & welfare of our spouse, not our own. I commend you for being willing to do this, you are her Superman, though she may not realize it yet.

It sounds like the only problem your wife has is that she is not keeping her marriage vows to you. That will eventually lead to depression & severe problems every time. Being madly in love & feeling connected to our spouse is completely our choice. It is so easy to enjoy exultant ecstacy in marriage. She just needs to start putting all your needs & desires 1st before her own or anything else, each day. She needs to live to make you happy & comfortable & loved with all your needs & wishes met. Then she will fall so in love with you she won't be able to see straight. The same goes for you if you want to be happy & intensely in love too. Do the same for her. But such loving service to each other has to come without any expectations from the other. If the other spouse fulfills your every wish, wonderful, if they don't, someday they will catch on to your good example. Unconditional True Love is the only answer. I would recommend sticking to the 'Prophesies of God' that work like a miracle every time, instead of going out in search of the 'Philosophies of Men' that the Prophets warn us about & say that most everyone is falling for. "To those of you who live in troubled homes, Love is the only remedy. It is the very basis of marriage. The power lies within ourselves. Revive the wonderous feeling that brought you to the marriage altar." Pres. Hinckley, CR Apr. 1989.

Common Sense, which one prophet said is the Spirit, says that 2 years of learning to be unselfishness would make a person more likely to be able to be unselfish in marriage too & thus make it eternal. When you say a marriage will 'last longer" if one serves a mission, the truth is, marriages only are worth anything if they last forever, not just longer.

Justaname, I have found that most people downplay or don't understand the seriousness & the often lasting consequences of 'Adultery or Fornication' on an individual or their innocent spouse, even when those things happened before the marriage like in your case. These things are just that huge & painful & are not easily gotten over by either spouse. In the next life though, you both can be totally healed from it all. I believe you have truely forgiven & accepted your wife as you say, but that does not mean that the realities of Fornication will not continue to haunt you through the years at times, just like Adultery continues to hurt & affect an innocent spouse for years when committed after marriage, even though their spouse repents. These are very serious issues & they can hurt & be a burden that the innocent spouse carries for years to come. You are a wonderful man for being willing to help carry her burden of her past, which is still a reality even though she has truely repented. The lingering consequences on you both, & you especially, can still linger, thus your need, your legitimate & understandable need, to occasionally talk about it again & again. If she is truely repentant & realizes the seriousness of the sins & the effects of it all, even on you, she will be humble, open & compassionate & totally willing to talk about it as much as you feel the need to. The more she proves her love for you the more you will feel better also. But since you don't have much power over her loving you, accept to ask for what you need & desire from her, there is something you can do to help ease the pain of the memory of her sins & their effects on you. It is the great principle God has given to spouses to be able to love & be happy in any kind of marriage or circumstance. It is True Love. Not from her, but from you. "True Love casteth out all fear." The more you acquire True Love for her, & I know you will say you do love her, but I mean a more intense love, one with all the intensity like falling in love the 1st time with her, of being madly in love with her, where you can't stop thinking about her (in an exciting way) during the day or can't wait to see her again, even after a short absence, where you feel you would die without her or for her if necessary, where you experience ecstacy in her presence & need nothing else to make you happy but being next to her (and your kids too). The more you develop this kind of love, (& it comes fast, you can feel the difference in days) the more the Spirit will fill your soul (for the Spirit is Love) & it will comfort your heart & mind & you will find peace & the ability to lay these images & thoughts aside & not think of your own feelings as much but just of how you can make her happy, which will in turn make you happy & at peace. The way to develop this True Love is to pray for it & her & to serve her every wish, day & night above everything else, even before your own needs & desires. Put her welfare above your own. Put her & her feelings 1st before eveything else in life, except prayer & scripture study. Seek to make her happy in every way possible. Ask her to make a list of her top 10 things of an ideal husband & then work your way down that list & try to become her ideal. Some things might be easier & faster to do than others. If she won't or can't make that list, make the list yourself & use your best knowledge & inspiration of what you think she would want you to be or do for her, things she has asked for in the past, her favorite things, & do them. Forget yourself in her service & these thoughts will stop bothering you. Don't worry about being perfect or doing everything she wants all at once, just do your best & the process of doing this is what brings the new feelings & you will get better & better at it & you will get addicted to serving her & it will bring you great joy to serve her in anyway you can. (See the movie "Fireproof", I didn't learn this from that movie but I was amazed that they were inspired to show the power of this principle in it.) Read the Story of Ammon in the Book of Mormon (Alma 17-19), where he commits his life to be a servant to the wicked King Lamoni & how he asked him "What wilt thou that I should do for thee O King?" Ask her this same question each day, & you will have the greatest love affair of your life! You can enjoy the "Exultant Ecstacy" in marriage that Pres. Hickley said was possible in this life. Become a perfect servant to her, just like Ammon was & you will become a powerful man, in Spirit, in love & in confidence, with your wife, with yourself & with others & with God. Do this all without expecting her to do it for you in return, though you can & should ask her to, (so she can enjoy the same love for you) but keep doing it all even if she doesn't do the same for you yet. She will follow your lead in time. This is a true principle that works like a miracle & brings the Spirit of Love so strong into your heart for her that confidence will fill your soul about who you are, that you will not be bothered as much or most likely at all about her past. True Love is the answer. It's the most powerful thing in the universe & can solve every problem, eventually. But "Sacrifice is the evidence of True Love." (Elder Widtsoe, CR Apr. 1943.)

I sincerely hope your husband does to. I know you can find the answers you seek, the Spirit will tell you the truth of all things & True Love (for our spouse), the kind that never ends or gives up, really does cast out all fear.

I have hardly ever seen anyone on this site reference their opinions. I have read countless things posted by people on this site that I believe are false & incorrect doctrine. But I have never seen them asked to reference their opinions. Just because we don't understand something someone says, doesn't mean it's false. It should send us studying if we are curious. I have found very few people who have studied marriage issues very deeply. I don't know why though, because it is the most important topic in the Church, the one everything else hinges on. If we can't keep our covenants of marriage then everything else is of little consequence.

Tizzy, I thought you were hoping you could be with your husband in the next life even if he wasn't worthy. Maybe I was wrong in thinking that. No one of course has to be with an abusive or unrighteous spouse in the next life if they don't want to be, it will be the righteous spouse's choice if they do or not. But if you love your spouse at all costs & will do anything to have them with you in the next life, Heavenly Father will show you the way, for there is a way. Though you must search out the answers & also pray about it to know how it works. To those who want more references, I have provided quite a few references in the past on some threads & it does not seem to make much difference. Quotes alone don't teach it all unless the Spirit confirms it to you. And there are so many references I would have to post for someone to start to understand these things, it's not all in just a few quotes. It also would take alot of time to gather up all the talks & places I have learned these things. When we study things we don't all write down every reference we read. When I was learning these things I wasn't thinking about sharing them someday, just learning it for myself cause I wanted to know, so I didn't sit there & site every reading. I'm sorry I don't have time to go back & collect all the many references, but I know anyone can find out these things cause they weren't hard to find if you just search the Pres. of the Church on these issues. Apostles sometimes have differing opinions than Prophets, so you must stick with just Prophet's teaching until you understand the truth of a doctrine. Also, if you just pray about these things, the Spirit can tell you of it's truthfulness, even before you find the proof from Prophets. Also, these things are so deep that to really discuss them in depth over the internet is not very easy or maybe even possible. So I just put out the truth of what I have learned & hope others will pray & study about it for themselves. Studying these things is like putting many puzzle pieces together before you start to see the whole picture, one piece from this prophet & another piece from that scripture, etc., plus you must pray about it all & receive your own revelation & confirmation about it all. Most importantly, you have to want it to be true & sincerely be willing to live these principles & if you are they will be shown to you. I have known many people with true love who understand these things. If we really love our spouse, no matter what they do, we will not resist the thought but look for any way to retain & save our spouse if need be & then we will be shown how it's possible.

Yes, in the eternities he will definately come around, they all will who go astray. Though, the more loving you are, they more he may regain his faith in God in this life. Nothing can break your sealing & marriage to him, not him, nor any court in the land or even God can't (for he is bound to give you your husband in eternity) as long as you are faithful to your covenants to God & your husband & unconditionally love & care for & try to make your husband happy in every way, despite any weaknesses & sins he may have or acquire later in consequence of losing his testimony. For he likely will fall further. But most husbands have trouble keeping their covenants to their wife, & many wives do too, but the Church says to never give up on our errant spouses, no matter what. The Prophets have taught many times & I was also personally told by very high authority & someone who is about as near to the Prophet as you can get, that "our sealing absolutely guarantees us our spouse forever." He said it's vital that we understand this & how powerful the sealing is. If a spouses's sins broke the sealing then most all married people would be staying in their marriages for nothing, because in most all marriages one or the other spouse breaks their covenants at some point. Does the Church say to leave & find someone new as soon as your spouse sins? No, they say never break your covenants because they know that the sealing is stronger than the adversary's snares that entangle our spouses & someday they will repent & make restitution & be with us eternally if we ourselves stay faithful through it all & want them with us. If marriage didn't guarantee us our spouse forever (as long as we ourselves stay faithful), than marriage would be the most risky & unwise thing to invest our heart & life & children's lives in. We would receive no reward for all our love & sacrifice, only heartache for the one we loved & lost. And thus most marriages would be for nothing, for usually one spouse is holding it all together while the other is indifferent or unrighteous. Thankfully, faithfulness to the marriage vow guarantees us our spouse forever, no matter what religion we are, or no religion at all. For someday even non members who had True Love & were faithful to their spouse, will get to be sealed to their spouse forever. No woman in her right mind would marry & give her life & give true love for "a maybe" or "IF" the other stays righteous, for few husbands do. Heavenly Father does not toy with our hearts. His promises are sure & when he gives us a spouse they are ours forever & can't be ever taken away or really leave or divorce us. The only thing that can break your sealing to him & thus lose him is your own unrighteousness. Rest assured he is all yours, no matter what he does or where he may go. The sad thing is that if he doesn't repent here on earth, he will have to go through a long & very painful process in Spirit Prison to get back on track, before he can join you in the Celestial Kingdom. He may have also lost his Exaltation (for that must be individually earned) but still get to be with you & serve you as your ministering angel/husband for eternity. On the questioning issue; it seems true that most members wait to be commanded in all things & few question authority & find out on their own if the council they are given is right or not. Tell your husband that Heavenly Father will answer any & all questions he has, if he will put forth the time to study the scriptures & pray. But to be sure that our inspiration is right it must agree with what the Prophets have said, they are our Iron Rod so we aren't led astray by the wrong spirit. So many people are deceived to feel inspired to do things against the teachings of the Prophets because they feel their situation is different & feel their revelation is from God telling them it's ok to do something.

Of course it would include "unless it's something evil or dangerous they want or something you can't afford, etc." But the principle really does work & is the basis of True Love, putting all their needs & wants before our own. Pres. Hinckley taught this principle & it's doing what Ammon did for the wicked King Lamoni to soften his heart & gain his trust & confidence, he served his every command valiantly & asked "What wilt thou that I should do for thee, O King?" I know that if we do this for our spouse daily, even if they don't do it for us yet, we will see miracles in our marriage & enjoy the exultant ecstacy with our spouse that Pres. Hinckley talked about.

The Church allows us to do temple work & marriage sealings for both members & non-members. Whether or not the people themselves on the other side of the veil are worthy of such blessings is up to Heavenly Father. Alana, No matter what a bishop or any leader said, I would always follow the Prophets that say to put your husband's & children's needs, desires & eternal welfare 1st & never break your sacred marriage vows or give up on your spouse. Your loving service, faith & example could very well help your husband to come back to church again & marry you in the temple. The more you show him True Love & fulfill his every wish & need, the more he will soften & want to make you happy too & be with you forever. It is never ever wrong to keep our marriage covenants & I know that if you keep your covenants, even though it is hard, it will bring far greater blessings to you & your husband & children, than breaking them to seek your own happiness ever could. The Prophets have said that no matter what religion we are or no religion at all, we must honor our marriage covenants.

That is so profound & so so true. Thank you Chet for such a wonderful post. I totally agree with everything you said.

You are in control of how fast you feel the Spirit again & are worthy & righteous. I don't believe it has to take a long time. God has already forgiven you Elder Holland says & the faster you turn from your errors & humble yourself & serve others & make restitution, (which is the proof of repentance) the faster you will gain the spirit, which can take weeks instead of months or years, though there may be some consequences that you must deal with that may last longer. Are you married? It is easier to gain the Spirit if we are married because the Spirit is "love" or the feeling of love, & if we have a spouse to serve that helps us gain the spirit easier, for the more we serve our spouse's wishes from morning to night & really humble ourselves & want to make them happy before any of our own needs or desires, the faster we feel tremendous love for them, which is "the Spirit". The more you fall in love with your spouse by service to them, the more you gain the Spirit in abundance & also personal revelation will start to flow into your mind. Once you feel & can demonstrate this True Love of Christ you are becoming righteous & worthy once again. It's not as hard as we may think. If you don't have a wife to serve, do it for your children, parents, friend, the needy, widows or the fatherless around you. There are so many people all around us who live in need, loneliness, & pain. Do what Christ would do for others & you can soon become like him.

If the Church cannot keep it's marriages protected & together than it cannot keep the Church together & fulfill it's other missions. The Proclamation warns that the disintegration of families (which abuse is almost always the cause of) will bring upon those who do it & even our whole nation, destruction & holocausts. Righteous, safe & eternal marriages are the foundation of everything else the Church teaches & does & the center of everthing in Eternity. If a member is being abused or is an Abuser little else can be accomplished regarding the mission of the Church until such abuse is stopped, that's why it is the 1st responsibility of the Church to protect against abuse 1st & foremost.

I am very glad to hear that your stake is doing some educating. This is very good, better late than never. That guy fits the model of a "classic abuser". They hardly ever seem like the type. And abuse is far more rampant than most realize, it's happening in some form in most homes. Pres. Hinckley said over & over how the Church was educating it's Bishops & Stake Pres. & other leaders about all forms of Abuse. Pres. Hinckley also said that protecting victims from abuse was the Church's #1 responsibility. But in all these years I have never met a leader who has really received such education on abuse, which makes abuse problems so much worse, for uneducated leaders too often easily fall for & can't detect abusers & usually disbelieve the abused spouse & minimize what's going on & don't apply the necessary consequences to stop the abuse & help the abuser repent, which then causes the abuse to get even worse. It's easy to detect an abuser if you know the signs & what constitutes abuse & since most all marriage problems stem from some form of abuse going on, I would think it would be mandatory for all leaders to receive such education in the 1st few months in their calling. How many marriages & innocent spouses & children's lives could be saved, not to mention the eternal life of the abuser.