ploomf

I don't know if there is a best way to pray but I pray in all sort of positions. Standing up, sitting down, kneeling down, laying down, basically whatever position I happen to be in when I feel the need to pray. I thought of this while I was reading this thread, it’s always made me laugh. "The Prayer of Cyrus Brown" "The proper way for a man to pray," Said Deacon Lemuel Keyes, "And the only proper attitude Is down upon his knees." "No, I should say the way to pray, Said Reverend Doctor Wise, "Is standing straight with outstretched arms And rapt and upturned eyes." "Oh, no, no, no," said Elder Slow, "Such posture is too proud: A man should pray with eyes fast closed And head contritely bowed." "It seems to me his hands should be Austerely clasped in front, With both thumbs pointing toward the ground," Said Reverend Doctor Blunt. "Las' year I fell in Hodgkin's well Headfirst," said Cyrus Brown, "With both my heels a stickin' up, My head a-pinting down; "An' I made prayer right then an' there, Best prayer I ever said, The prayingest prayer I ever prayed, A-standing on my head."

I think it depends on how you define good as well. I think most people are basically good people. If everyone in the world suddenly knew that there was no God I don't think there would be this huge outbreak of murder and rape and robbery and what have you. I think there would be more people having sex outside of marriage, less marriage and more just living together, more abortion, more drinking, ect. Some people would say that wasn't a bad thing, some people would say it is.

Not much would change for me except I'd get to sleep in on Sundays. I'm too lazy to change much else.

I'm not sure where the OP got his information LM but according to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook of the 1231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygamy, 588 had more frequent polygamy, and 4 had polyandry.

I don't know, that bread tastes pretty good some weeks.

Say it isn't so pam!!!! Not beards!!! Oh the humanity!!! You know this has been bugging me though. I think snow asked it earlier but I really want to know, how can you struggle with having a beard? It's just hair that happens to be on your face instead of on your head. And to the best of my knowledge a beard has never hurt anyone. I'm pretty sure I've never heard the anchor for my local news say something like, beard goes on shooting rampage in shopping mall, story at five. So yeah, how can you struggle with a beard? Really?

I live with my non member family so most of the house is not religious but if you saw my room? I have a picture of Jesus hanging in it but really you'd probably think I'm an extremely messy person with a lighthouse obsession.

*Grumble mumble grumble* Young kids today with their rock and roll and long hair and beards, running wild *grumble grumble grumble* You kids stay off my lawn! (shakes cane wildly) Ok seriously though, beards equal evil? I have a picture of Jesus Christ that I'm looking at right now and He has a beard in it. Gee how about that.

Ever Dravin? I'm 23 and I've never gone on a second date (and pitifully few first dates). I figure someday I'll meet someone crazy enough to marry me, I'm not too worried about it.

Well this chick of God (will I go to hell for calling myself that do you think?) thinks that certain people must have had their sense of humor surgically removed at some point in their lives. Seriously dude (hehehe I called you dude and I'm not from California, niener niener niener) lighten up. Watch some Monty Python, eat chocolate, take a crash course from How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Don't try to lick your elbow at work. You co-workers will think you are nuts. Of course mine already think I'm nuts, this was just confirming it.

Not technically a movie but... "You think you've seen how fast a deer can run, you haven't seen anything till you've seen a deer on a bicycle." From the stage-play adaptation of Patrick McManus’s A Fine and Pleasant Misery

Heck why wait till 2012? We have our very own angry mob. Lets get pale over there, we could have him in under a week.

Oh and I actually really did enjoy playing it. I've only played single player survival mode so far. It's become something of an obsession, I am determined to have it tell me something other than you suck. And maybe I'm a bloodthirsty little thing but it is kind of satisfying to watch the little smiley get less smiley and more bloody.

Yeah I did. And I died rather quickly. The first time I had an excuse, all the little zombies came out of nowhere and I had no clue what to do so I just started firing at random. I think I killed seven of them before I was eaten. The tenth time I died after only killing about ten or so? Yeah I have no excuse, I just suck. So yeah if we're ever attacked by a horde of zombies just stick me in the back and have me serve koolaid or something. Would probably be safer for all concerned.

Apparently I'll be totally useless in the event that we are attacked by a hoard of bloodthirsty zombies. It was almost embarrassing how quickly the zombies killed me.

We had the coldest month of June on record, I think it rained almost everyday. We've had a ton of rain this summer, we'll get a few warm days and then cool days. Most disappointing though was the fruit. My raspberries came in late and were really small and sour and nobody around here is selling seeded watermelon it's all seedless. I don't care what happens with the weather but I want whoever is in charge of the fruit department to stop messing with my raspberries and watermelons. *stamps feet and goes off to sulk**

Well I'm only 23 and I'm not married. I almost got married when I was 19 and I'm actually really glad I didn't. He was a perfectly nice guy and I'm sure we could have had a good marriage but I have matured and changed so much since I was 19. And really, I enjoy being single, it's a lot of fun.

I sing "If you could hie to Kolob." I like that one because I can never remember the words so I spend so much time trying to remember what the next word was that I totally forget whatever it was that was bothering me.

Yeah one of my co-workers sent this to me. Knowing him he probably did go through and umm clean it up a bit.

Gift idea… A pocket Taser!!! A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, ' don't do it idiot,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ... WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION .. . PAIN!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, chest on fire, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution : there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative? A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and chest were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I did lose control of my bodily functions, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe was from my hair. P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

Hmmm I kinf of like ploomd.

I'm partial to sunflowers myself but I think orchids might work better in a corporate environment, much more sophisticated.

What if you're female and you have batman underwear? I think that would be just as bad. Not that I know a female who wants batman underwear at all... walks away looking innocent

Maybe you could but lets just say I'm not sure I would be able to recover from that. I'd probably go through with the interview but I'm sure the only thought in my head would be getting it over with so I could find some remote island to move to and never ever ever have to see these people again. I don't think I handle embarrassment well. I also loved this one. Tell us about a problem you had with a co-worker and how you resolved it "The resolution was we were both fired."- Jason Shindler, CEO, Curvine Web Solutions I've known some people who would say that if they were asked that in an interview and they are so suprised when they never get jobs.