Gramajane

Phschology studies tell us that when we "instantly" fall in love-- we are either "projecting" traits onto the other person-- and/or they remind us of someone else in our lives. that what may attract us (if we didn't deal with issues with our caregivers negative traits already in our lives) that subconsciously we will recognize similar traits in others-- and still wanting to "win" may be attracted to them-- as we may have work to do to learn to deal with those negative traits. For example-- if her father was cold and rejecting-- a girl may be attracted to men who act that way or even worse-- like those who suffered abuse actually may subconsciously be attracted to those likely to be abusive to them-- as they hope to overcome in dealing with such a person- and prove they are worthy of being treated well etc This is why it is dangerous to act too quickly on "love at first site" I think it is essential to get to really know someone as a friend -- before even hand holding! Watch for things like what makes them angry-- are they often angry-- what do they do when they are angry etc Are they responsible with their money and debt? Are they strong in following Jesus Christ? (actions speak louder than words!) How do they treat their family members? --- but the VERY biggest is-- "are they honest"?? If you don't have honesty-- and a willingness to repent and do better-- it is impossible to work with someone! Anyway-- hope this helps. There is even a book written for LDS girls (that can help the guys too!) -- it is of course not official doctrine-- but lots of good stuff-- called "Frog Buster" (like what frogs turn into princes and which will not). God bless us all in our choices and commitments-- it should be carefully done and with prayer as the goal is for an eternal commitment! I believe I have been totally blessed that way as though we've had our very hard times, we have learned from them and are so much more in love than the 40 years ago when we were married! Gramajane

It seems that your concerns for your daughter can be handled in what you have already shared. I believe your comment "When I tried to go in with Ellie it was made clear I was within my rights but unwelcome, " may be a guide. -- I think we should be wherever we feel we need to be to protect our children-- just because others may not feel welcoming- would not be enough reason to prevent my presense. Yet I would do all I could to make my presense be as positive as possible! If especially-- you can trust God that it is ok for you to attend your daughters class-- and do it with a Christ like attitude-- so you are thankful that there are sisters who are willing to take the time to teach the class , and on the day you teach Relief Society-- you could either bring her with you, or see if you pray about it-- if Heavenly Father would watch over her in her class- or ask another friend to attend with her. You might even acknowledge that you *might* be just a bit over protective, but you would rather err on the side of prevention than repent in sorrow later. You and your hubby are (on earth) the ultimate persons responsible for her care-- and I'd go with your "gut" and not have her in there if you don't feel good about it. -- the good news is that it is just a few months away from her graduating to a different class/teacher. :) Part of the possible damage is though, that it is sad for her to feel "unsafe" in church but it is worse to have her have a bad experience and then totally believe she is unsafe! I would call the "naughty chair" a bad experience already. I didn't see an age given for her. But I think we don't assign negative traits, nor have time out more than one min. for each age OVER 2 years. (I do NOT think a "naughty chair" is anything the church has EVER used in my 50+ years of teaching primary-- as I believe it gives a "negative" label to a child-- the "love and logic" principles (there is a web site) work I believe like Heavenly Father works with us. :) It may be that this trial/challenge will help you to grow as you can a. show you will be with your daughter- though you suffer a TINY bit feeling unwelcome b. help you practice being Christlike c. get you a calling to be her teacher? d. be a good example to others May God bless you and your family and us ALL to grow more Christlike. Gramajane

Hi-- quick answer is in a hymn-- "Do what is right, let the consequences follow..." I would suggest your express how sorry you feel that they are unhappy with your choice/decision, and that you hope they will change their minds-- if they see that you are becoming a better/kinder you-- some are worried that you might be "heavy" on them to convert too or be critical of the decisions they have made, are making in their lives (that maybe don't line up with righteousness in their OWN minds) yet-- I think if you "play devils advocate" and perhaps speak to all their possible objections- with love and humor letting them know that you love them MORE now-- and that you appreciate that they care for you-- and that (if you were ever to find the church is not true-- you would leave and they could say "I told you so". yet-- on the other hand-- if (when you stay true to your testimony you would appreciate their expecting that you are able to make choices for your own life now. Gods blessings on you and your family! Gramajane

Greetings and welcome to you-- (though I'm new on here too!- barely finding my way out of the into area!) I'm a sub teacher for k-12, and I love teaching! If you would like it-- the things that have helped me most in my teaching are the principles and suggestions from two sources-- "Tools for Teaching" by Fred Jones (his seating arrangement is wonderful-- I redo the seats when I ca and from the Love and Logic group-- there are several great ones-- "Teaching with Love and Logic" is a basic-- and the principles can be used with everyone-- it is how I think our Father in Heaven works with us! Have/make a life you can live happily with when you have someone write about it!-- Gramajane

Sometimes - feel like I'm 80 years old (with a worn out body and dazed mind to go with it-- but that is usually after a day of overwhelm and hard work past normal hours). I've had this "age attack" since about age 18! Other times, I feel like I'm a kid in primary (age group for our LDS youth classes- 3-12) where I love to teach. I love the songs! Right now, I'm happy with my age (61) -- though getting scared that I might be in "diaper age" again. soon! --- I sure wouldn't want to do life over-- unless I got to take what I have learned back with me to make better choices in a few things! May we all love others and laugh at ourselves more! Gramajane

Actually-- the topic of exactly what that phrase means has come up in discussions with members of other faiths that I have had too. What it indicates to me is that God has a right hand and a left hand, and that Jesus sits to the right hand side of God the Father. Some have told me that it meant that Jesus was on "the good side or in good graces with God" but they also insisted that they were one and the same being, and so not able to be physically "next to each other". So then it flashed in my mind, the way that little boy in the joke took it (if trying to understand how God would sit on his OWN hand then. -- but then I realized that it seems most who do not believe in the Godhead as three distinct persons-- accept the creeds and then probably don't believe there is ANY body with ANY body parts to *have* a hand. Now me?? I am totally looking forward with longing for a warm hug from our Father in Heaven after I graduate from this boarding school called Earth! :) Gramajane

Ok, I just remembered this-- that there was in one of the last three Ensign magazines-- (official church publications) an article on caffeine drinks-- and the danger of their use-- though they were focusing on the really HIGH caffeine ones -- . any way-- there you have it. Gramajane

Hi-- If I might ad a comment-- I watched an interview on live TV of President Hinckley by newcaster Larry King-- where Mr. King asked in quick shot questions which things were on the list of things LDS do not consume and when asked about these caffine soda pops- the response was that LDS do not consume them. So though it is not a question for a temple recommend-- I feel really good that I have from my childhood already avoided caffeine soda pop. We had a good LDS friend and co worker, who also heard that, and he had been one who had literally opened containers of (can't remember if it was Coke or Pepsi) sitting around the shop so he could take a sip all during the day-- and he quit cold turkey- which must not have been easy for him ! So-- though there are other things that I struggle with in the Word of Wisdom -- like the amount of sleep I get ( retiring to my bed early and arising early)-- and other things I could improve on-- God isn't finished with me yet. :) and I try to get/be better each day! Gramajane

I can't stay-- but just thought I'd add this thought to the mix. I understand that sin is anything that leads us away from God, and before you are at the age of accountability (8) you are not held responsible by God and so we baptize at that age for them to be able to repent (among other important things) though to really sin-- it to knowingly choose not to follow Jesus Christ and Heavenly fathers commandments-- -- and there are larger and smaller ones in that some lead us very far away , very fast and are harder to recover from (though the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy against the Holy Ghost) I am so thankful for the blessing/miracle of repentance but of course the best plan is to not make a sin/mistake in the first place (an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure) but we ALL will and DO even as we try not to-- so we just need to keep being aware. I explained it to my little Sunday School class once, as like a beautiful white outfit of clothing-- on your baptism-- you are perfectly clean-- but sometimes we get "dirty" and don't even be aware -- so we need to remember to do the things to keep clean in our spirits which is like bathing in the scriptures-- where we can learn more and see "spots" renewing our covenants in Sacrament meeting but it will ultimately take Jesus Christ to "make up the difference" as we can't do it alone though we are to do all that we can do! Anyway-- got to go. I'm doing a service project today. blessings! Gramajane

My maiden name is Manderscheid-- and so you see that is German. I have always wanted to go to the town by that name where our family came from, and it has a ruined castle too. I even began to try to learn German by listening to tapes while I sewed, but it didn't stick, much-- (I remember an important phrase though-- inportant for us grannys anyway-- "Wo is de damsen tolettias" (probably all mispelled! . My brother married a dutch girl, and several of my family have made trips to Germany, which I hope to some day. Anyway,. welcome to here, and may you be blessed to have your family come closer to the light of Jesus Christ each day-- which I believe they will from your good example, and because I believe that God is seeking after us all the time too. Another hobby of mine since I was a teenager- was to learn about other faiths (my Mom suggested I needed to do that, as my testimony was pretty one sided-- I only knew what the church taught-- not what others believed or why) and it has TOTALLY helped me and strengthened my testimony of Jesus Christ and also been very interesting too. I like the short sound bite to describe the LDS faith. We claim to be the re-established original Christian church; 1. Jesus Christ organized a church 2. men changed it 3. It has been brought back It is my testimony to you that it is true, and I encourage you to pray as you search for the truth. Gods blessings on you. (I'd write good by in German if I could spell it-- something like Alf verdersain?-- you can tell my learning was only audio :/. Gramajane Have a great day.

Hi-, I'm Gramajane and I have in the past been on a lot of other sites, - one was on another site with Maya (Hi to you Maya-- your tag was totally awesome!!) but I have been busy with the *earthly needs* lately--- (trying to save our "old family castle home" from the bank claiming it -- probably could qualify for a bail out- but I don't believe in that-- so we are now trying the vacation rental route- and though it is not all the way into easy to do yet- it is hopefully ready enough that I have a *little* time). So I hope to take time to do the one thing I love above all else-- share my testimony and love of Jesus Christ and His re-established church & gospel. :) Anyway, I found myself with a hunger for that spiritual warm glow again and just didn't know where to go-- plus I thought I would see what came up with my name on google and found that I was quoted by someone on this site which looks like a great place to be. I really got tired of being treated by many (including some moderators!) on several other sites with such discrimination (that I never did anything to deserve-- but *be* a member of the Church). The last site I had posted extensively on- ended up denying me access, without telling me I had done anything wrong or any warnings even. They also deleted a thread of over 4 thousand responses- that another LDS had started -- it was titled "Ask a Mormon" but many anti Mormon or unfaithful Mormons plagued it with their "views" and distortions of LDS teachings. --- I think what a few (including a moderator) didn't like about me -- was that I could and *did* back up what I said with scripture (even copy pasting the ref *and* verses in) and I didn't call names or do anything wrong- but respectfully responded with what I believed and why etc-- which then they had a hard time to discount-- so they didn't like it/me. That last site I was on was quite stressful-- but I also believe that many on there saw what was going on, and I hope and pray that they saw/read enough to go to the true source (which I supplied often-- LDS.org and Mormon.org and FAIR etc :) rather than accept what "everybody knew". Anyway-- let it go-- maybe here I can help answer some true questions. :) One of the things I have done for years is help with answers to anti Mormon stuff-- where I like to help those who *WANT* the answers-- not those who just want to tear the church down as theirs are not questions but challenges/mud slinging etc. About me, I'm 61 years young, been married eternally to my sweetheart for 40 years, and we were blessed to have 5 kids, then did foster care for 10 years, and now have 14 & 5/9ths grand kids (plus one we count from a guardianship daughter). I love children and even teenagers! I love to read, love fairy tales - George McDonald is my favorite author for other than scriptures-- and I sew -- mostly castle time costumes but some others too. I do not like (or have the money anyway) to just go buy materials-- so I find things at Deseret Industries (LDS thrift store) etc, and remake them-- like from a velvet bedspread- capes, from filmy curtains-- sleeves or wings etc etc. too fun! I like to "decorate on a dime" too and have gathered things from garage sales and thrift stores for years, plus made things myself- that we decorate with. I have saved pictures- which had dirt or scratches on the faux oil (prints on a textured background made to look like brush strokes) by using colored pencils to replace the damaged areas etc-- and scratch cover or brown felt pents to restore the dinged or worn frames. :) Presently I teach a class of 5/6 year old kids at church. I am also a sub school teacher for K-12th grade. (Now you must know how much I love kids ! :) I probably talk too much, and do less house work than I should (I work by selected neglect) like I tend to only wash the windows that we actually look though. Ok, enough about me-- now I want to look around here a bit-- (before I go and do house work! ). ttyl Gramajane

Litla-- May you be a light to your family to lead them to Christ as you continue to follow Him. Gramajane