mdfxdb
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Days Won
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Posts posted by mdfxdb
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Oh, and I forgot to answer the question some have asked. Was he like this when I married him? I believe he is very good at presenting himself to be a certain person and then as time passes, his true colors come out. It's been like this with many jobs. He is great at getting hired but after a while he gets pressured to leave or leaves himself because he can tell they want him to. I think this is what happened with me. I had no idea he would have been this kind of a father. I always thought fathers would WANT to be involved in their kids lives naturally, not that I would have to almost beg to get him to be. I wish I had a way of knowing. I should have known him longer. I tried to get out of it, because I didn't feel comfortable marrying him, but that is a whole nother story I would rather not go into. Regardless, I married him. And here we are today.
Take a stand. stop putting up with his crap. You have contemplated divorce anyways, I'm willing to bet he doesn't leave you.
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Well that kinda leads to the point. I'm not his judge. And I don't know why he missed church, but at face value (letter of the law) he sinned.
Please expound.....
what letter?
what law?
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the "end of days" were predicted during the Prophet Joseph Smith's lifetime.......guess what..It didn't happen.
We are definitely in the end of days, but to point at any one event/coming event, and to state that "this is it" is presumptuous and naive. Hindsight is always 20/20, and likely we won't realize what has happened until it's all over, unless one of the prophets declares it as the seminal event, which wont likely happen...
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I think every generation wants to feel we are in the final days/end times. You can look for reasons to believe it. For what it's worth (and I freely admit my opinion is worth nothing) I don't worry about it in the least. If it's coming, there is precious little we can do about it.
A little more than 100 years ago World War 1 started. 9 million soldiers, and probably about 7 million civilians died because of this war. Almost every country in the world was involved in this war, which was to be the war to end all wars.
Given what is going on in the world right now, we've got it very easy....
We as a nation haven't been asked to sacrifice much for our tiny conflicts
Things have to get a lot worse before I believe a civil war, or WW 3 are about to commence, or are even on the horizon for our lifetimes.
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Christ himself shows us the way when he says, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." These people of whom he is speaking are compelled by their own false notions to think, feel and act certain ways. Was Jesus angry at them? Did he expect them to act contrary to their nature? No, because how could they act any other way?
Well Christ said that after he was nailed to a cross.....
I do not expect people to act contrary to their nature, just as I would not expect my wife to act contrary to her nature, but if she represented her nature to be one way, and I find it to be another then I have been deceived.
As such I have to make reactionary decisions. Those decisions may include leaving that person. Not out of anger, but out of self-preservation for myself and my children.
For the OP and her scenario we can argue about whether or not she should be angry either with herself or her husband, but anger aside she needs to think about what is best for her, and her children.
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Just read it. Should be interesting in the Millennium. It will be really interesting to see who is defined as "wicked" at the second coming.....
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Ok, so what will the cleansing be? Will 4.8 billion souls not make the cut?
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3 Nephi 25:1-2 - 1 For behold, the day cometh that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble; and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the Lord of Hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.
2 But unto you that fear my name, shall the Son of Righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth and grow up as calves in the stall.
So mass destruction huh?
There are about 2.2 billion Christians in the world. 7 billion people in the world, more or less....
Or are we defining wickedness as only those that commit murder/covetousness/all of the bad things the lamanites and nephites did in the first chapters of 3rd Nephi?
In one scenario there is complete and total destruction, and in another there is mercy to the unbelievers who are given a chance during the millennium to accept?
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Read 3 Nephi and 4 Nephi for a view of this...
It seems pretty clear there will be a time of rebuilding from the destruction. There will be some kind of consecration among the members, but not everyone will be members so the some kind of buying and selling will continue. We still have to work to provide the necessity of mortal life Missionary work will go on.
However the wicked will be gone, destroyed, so that should have an impact on various things (for the better one would assume)
Interesting responses. So how do we define the wicked? You state the wicked will be gone, destroyed. How does that happen? Where do all the wicked people go?
"People will still have their agency, and for a time many will be free to continue with their religions and ideas. Eventually everyone will confess that Jesus Christ is the Savior."
So through missionary efforts, everyone will be converted?
What about those who don't convert? Will they be deemed wicked?
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Well it is "normal" to have expectations of another but I don't think it is reasonable. Further, anger is almost always counter productive. Here is a section from a book entitled Feeling Good. It helps explain the cause of most anger:
Most people have what appear to them to be valid reasons for why they act a certain way. Perhaps you don't agree but that does not change the fact. They may be deceived but they certainly have reasons. So in such a situation anger is unreasonable.
We can parse words, and define anger, etc, etc.
If someone says they are going to do something, and then they don't do it you need to make a decision one way or another.
Let's forget about expectations for a while, and simply look at the promises people make when they first get married. At some point your husband / boyfriend represented to you that he loved you, and would likely take care of you. He probably represented that he was a loving, kind, generous person.
People usually don't marry ogres.
Then he either decided to change, or he really never was any of those things he represented himself to be.
Now you have to react.
- Bini and omegaseamaster75
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The Earth will be administered under only one gospel.
So everyone living on the earth will be converted?
If the Savior arrives tomorrow will I get up and go to work the next day?
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1,000 years of temple work?
OK, maybe for the LDS crew, but what about everyone else?????
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So Christ comes in all of his glory right? Then what? 1000 years of......
I guess I am a little unclear as to what will happen. Does anyone have any theories on this?
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Yes, completely and absolutely. Lose the expectation. Why? Because your expectation arises from a belief that your husband can, and must, somehow satisfy all your desires. Things like him coming to sporting events, helping with household duties, controlling his anger. And when he does not meet your expectations you feel hurt, and in some way or other allow this to effect your peace. Do you see that you are allowing your husband to define how you feel? And further that you have come to see him as the cause of those feelings? But maybe your husband doesn't cause the pain and fear but rather brings out your own perceived lack on an external level.
See the moment you stop judging what should be, the moment you stop defining all your expectations by external circumstances, you will free your mind from all your worry, anger, and fear. Then the words of Christ will come into sharper focus, "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. ...The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged" (Matt 7:1-2 NLT). You are living that very truth. Every moment of every day, as we all are.
Now, none of this excuses him. He must deal with his own issues just as you must deal with yours. But you are not the one who needs to dispense justice. You are not the one who needs to make him change. In fact, over many years I'm sure you have found that you cannot. This is a big step forward. The only person you can change is yourself, so I suggest you get to work.
Of course, you may still ask him to do things. But hopefully the compulsion is now gone from it. When he doesn't do what you ask just move on. Don't invest the moment with negative emotion. This may be the most valuable lesson of all, for you, him, and the kids.
Sounds like great advice........I used to have a roommate, and I had no expectations of him. If he didn't clean when I asked him to, I just shrugged my shoulders, and cleaned myself...
lol.
It is perfectly reasonable for you to have expectations of your husband, and to be angry when he doesn't live up to them. He promised/represented himself to be certain things when you got married, now he is not.
If you follow the above advice you get to spend the rest of your life with a grumpy roommate, who is messy......
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I would say we are getting very close both temporally and spiritually. California is having the WORST DROUGHT IN 1200 years! Wake up people (of the world)!. It is said that California has 1 more year of drinking water left too.
Also, the "sign of the rainbow" could be referencing the "LGBT" / gay rights flag. When the flag disappears (when they have "won" the political battle), that's when the Savior will intervene and stop the wickedness from getting worse, just like Sodom and Gomorrah. Isaiah also spoke about the 2nd coming and said "their faces doth declare their wickedness to be even as Sodom and Gomorrah" (paraphrasing).
Death of Yoda the 650-Year-Old Tree Tells Tale of Southwest Droughtpretty extreme. Are we sure CA is having the worst drought? Your news articles are less than authoritative, plus they reference the drought in the 1600's......... they must be talking about the drought during the little ice age 1300 - 1850......when the world was much colder than it had ever been....
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I spoke to the reverend at the Church of England about this and she told me my views were very unusual and extreme. She said there is nothing wrong with feeling some sort of way towards another person as long as you don't act on it. Most people seem to think this way but for me the idea of having a boyfriend/husband who feels attraction even for a second is just so perverse, so deviant! How I wish I was OK with this just like most women are.......
The reverend was right. You are out of bounds in your expectations.
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Over 3 years ago, I found out that when men are in relationships, they are still attracted to other women. This bothers me so much that I have decided to stay single for life. However, I do want to be in a relationship. Yesterday I had the idea that maybe I should pray to God about it. After all, He created men the way they were AND he calls us to marriage. I am praying that He will change my mind so that when I think about the fact that men are still going to be attracted to other women, I no longer see it as perverse and immoral. I would like to see it as a normal and acceptable thing as other women do. This is the 2nd day I have prayed about it. I believe God is the only one who can help because I have already heard all the arguments why attraction to others is okay and I still feel like it is a terrible and inappropriate thing.
Prayer is good. You should also seek professional help.
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I posted a thread of my son-in-law was healed due to a blessing my son and I gave him.
In the Doctrine and Covenants it lists all of the Spiritual gifts with the language..."to some it is given and to another it is given" (hope I quoted it correctly).
When my oldest daughter was 5, she had a medical issue that doctors sad could only corrected by surgery. I (with the help of a missionary) gave her a blessing and she was healed and did not need surgery.
When my wife was found to have a lump in her breast and was supposed to have surgery...I blessed her with the help of another Elder and she was healed.
Now in the D&C, it says that "some have the gift to heal and others the gift to be healed".
I have two illnesses that I have gotten blessings for but no healing. Once while very sick and received a blessing...later that night I was hospitalized and spent three days in the hospital.
If anyone is to be healed, I would rather it be my family...so to the question.
Can someone have both or all gifts? (This is probably be a great question for "Ask Gramps".)
I welcome any replies. :)
I disagree. You clearly have been healed, otherwise you couldn't have written this post. This being said, do not suppose that your hospitalization wasn't part of the healing process. Not all healing is miraculous/instant. For that to happen, you would have to believe in miracles, which I do not.
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Condescending: adjective
- having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority.
Insensitive: adjective- showing or feeling no concern for others' feelings.
The parents are the haves, the childless are the have-nots. A blessing that is necessary for the exhaltation of everyone has been withheld, often for a lifetime, from some people for reasons which no one can fully understand or explain. Saying, as you have, that no one should have to exercise any extra measure of care, or that they ought not get to say or sing whatever they want to because of the chance of hurt feelings in the have-nots is simultaneously condescending and insensitive. You and everyone else who have had this huge blessing and life's work virtually fall into your laps, without having to give up almost everything to get there - as infertile couples do - say that no changes need to be made or extra thought given, because the chance of "hurt feelings" is insignificant and beneath your notice.
I feel sorry for you. You think motherhood is only a fact of biological reproduction. You need to understand what motherhood really is, not just an egg or a sperm donation.
Be a mother to others. Stop being close minded, self-centered, insensitive to everyone else who is "insensitive" to you. The only fault with not being able to biologically reproduce is your latent resentment which seethes out of every sentence you post.
- Leah and omegaseamaster75
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Finally, kids are blessing and a joy. No one here knows your situation deeply and personally I think it's rather brash for someone who doesn't know you to tell you to not have kids. To have kids or not is an intensly personal decision that should remain between you, your husband and God (even if your husband doesn't believe in Him).
First you said the above, then you qualified when you said:
"The only time I'll say when not to have kids is when the marriage is in doubt and the only time the marriage should be in doubt is in cases of abuse or adultery; otherwise the marriage shouldn't be in doubt and their shouldn't be a reason to not bring kids in."
FYI not all people get divorced only for the 3 A's.
You left out one of the A's by the way.... "addiction"
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Dude whatever . . .
I never said children are like toys and if you've read any of my post you'd realize that; and I say that you are extremely egotistical and judgmental.
Let me give you a hint . . . all household are dysfunctional to some extent.
The problem is that today, everyone wants the "perfect situation". People are encouraged to wait until, they have more money, until they are out of school, until they have the perfect job, until they have figured out all their marriage issues. Because we as a society have delayed adulthood, individuals aren't mature enough (or don't want to even get married) until they are in their late 20s.
By that time, people end up being in their mid-30s before they figure it all out. After 35 pregnancy's become much higher risk. You do realize that the re-population rate in the United States is 1.8 births per woman. The US is below re-population rate. As a culture we are literally killing ourselves. The only reason the population in the US is growing is due to immigration. Let that sink in for just a minute.
Sure there are some cases where having children is probably not warranted, i.e. abusive cases where the marriage is in doubt. But the Lord's church and Christ has pretty much specified that unless it's Abuse or Adultery, divorce is almost always not justified. The only reason to not bring children into a marriage is if there is a high likelihood that the marriage will be dissolved. Other than that, there is no good reason to be selfish and not have kids. Yes, by not having kids the married couple is being selfish.
I will never claim to know when a couple should have children, that is a decision for them and God. The only time I'll say when not to have kids is when the marriage is in doubt and the only time the marriage should be in doubt is in cases of abuse or adultery; otherwise the marriage shouldn't be in doubt and their shouldn't be a reason to not bring kids in.
You get married to have a family, to fulfill the 1st great commandment, "replenish the earth". If one does not have that in mind, i.e. to follow God's 1st commandment to "be fruitful and multiply", then that individual and couple is prideful and selfish.
God didn't say, "be happy and only when everything is peachy then have kids". That's part of being married, it's a near unbreakable covenant.
We absolutely have the duty and moral responsibility to raise them in the best way possible . . . but best way possible, doesn't mean best circumstances. If people in the past had children the way modern culture looks upon having children, simply put we wouldn't be here-b/c they would have all died off.
You are way out of bounds. If a home has the potential to be broken, a child will not fix that home. You are actually advising them to be irresponsible and selfish. Nothing could be more so than bringing a child into a home where there is instability. Do you have any idea how damaging divorce is to children?
Yeah, most homes aren't perfect, nobody is suggesting everything has to be perfect before you have a child.
If the marriage is in question it is selfish to bring a child into that situation. Part of the responsibility of parents is to give their children the best chance at life. Broken homes aren't it. Suggesting that bringing a child into that situation or potential situation is actually treating them like a small toy or tool for manipulation.
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I agree that children are always a blessing. I wouldn't plan on them to save a marriage, but I wouldn't let your husband's faith crisis be a reason to not have children. Overall, I believe you are getting good advice from the Forum.
With the exception of the above. You are getting good advice.
Do not have children with someone who you do not trust, or with someone you are having marital trouble with. Your husbands faith crisis is an excellent reason to not have children
The Second Civil War
in LDS Gospel Discussion
Posted
It may be possible that Lehi is "an" ancestral father. But we do not know that he is an ancestral father of native americans, north, or central, or south for that matter. Where did he land? How far reaching / prolific were the nephites/lamanties we actually read about in the Book of Mormon. How much did they really interact with other populations that may have been around?
It is completely unconvincing to say that Lehi is an ancestral father to the native american Indian. We simply do not know enough about him or what he did, or where he lived. He may be an ancestral father, but then again he may not.