Suzie

You didn't really tell us what is happening, maybe if you do I can give you a better answer. However, I think is fair to say that the first year of marriage could be challenging. You are learning to live with someone, learn the way they do things, see their flaws more clearly, their differences, etc and things can get a little difficult but this too shall pass. :)

I was a Church employee many moons ago. When they hired me they said it was a calling with financial benefits. I thought it was such an odd thing to say but I understand the concept behind it.

So there is an alternative then and you are being asked to do other things. Then what is the problem? You know what? I am probably one of the few that think the whole beard issue in Church or temple is very, very, very silly (my opinion) However they make the policies (not you or me) and since you are the one that offered to volunteer, you have to pretty much accept the conditions they give.

Congratulations, you both make a cute couple.

I am bit confused. They said you cannot served by parking cars and doing shuttle service because you have a beard? Or are you saying you can only served by doing this and nothing more? If is the first, did you try to explain those in authority your health concerns?

Thank you for confirming this. Once you received confirmation, that's all it matters. I wish you and your daughter all the best. :)

Randoman, have you tried to contact the Stake President directly and tell him about it? Since you tried the correct way by contacting your Bishop (s) already and few years have passed, maybe you should contact your Stake President and see if he can help you out resolve this issue.

Wow Crashdown, does your Bishop know all the details about your situation? You are describing something terrible and I think the authorities (police) should be notified immediately, I am pretty sure if you talk to your Bishop he can help you out with finding a place to live with your kids until you can recover, find a job, etc. We're talking about SAFETY here and the safety of your kids!

Changed, I am curious. What would you suggest if he is unwilling to go counseling? What's the next step in your opinion? About the verse, I don't think anyone said she WILL end up with another guy like that (the possibility always exist) but we did warn her about it not only for her sake but there is a child in the middle. I really don't see anything wrong with that however I appreciate your view and input, really. :)

Your opinion, I respect it.

Soul, we can become all technical if you want (on semantics) :) but it doesn't change the facts really (at least for me). The guy has cheated at least 3 proven times. Whether he cheated on 4 or 5 at this time, doesn't make his case any better or worse.

Changed, I know this topic touches you personally. I actually agree with most of the things you are saying however don't you believe in being your brother's keeper? Warning someone so they don't commit the same mistake again (and yes, it happens in situations like this one) isn't a warning of judgment or holy than thou attitude (it seems that's the way you are perceiving it to be). Can people change? Sure they can. Happens in all cases? Nope, unless the person is truly committed to change. Are we supposed to ignore the red flags? I don't think so. I cannot suggest this lady to stay forever in this marriage as long as there is "hope" for the husband to change and stop cheating on her, unless she enjoys pain which I don't think she does. For a marriage to work, BOTH persons need to work out their issues. It seems like she worked on hers but he is UNWILLING (based on her post and her side of the story) to go counseling. What else do you suggest for her to do? To continue staying in this marriage despite the pain and humiliation that all this is causing to her and her child when he is UNWILLING to seek change? Let's be realistic for a second.

Based on how the following is worded, it is my understanding that it happened when they were already married. He has been cheating while they were dating AND after they have been married, you may not want to call it serial cheating, that's exactly what it is to me.

That's the first thing I told a friend. They shouldn't worry about the past of this woman but how the student found the porn in the first place.

She appeared in Dr. Phil. All his guests are paid.

Well, we don't know the details. We're just speculating however she will be able to sue only if there was truly defamation, so far doesn't seem like it.

I think is probably a combination of both. I really feel sorry for her because she changed. However, she appeared in Dr. Phil back in 2006 sharing her story. I don't think the school districts would have appreciated that.

Changed, every situation is different however I think red flags shouldn't be ignored, just because it worked out in your case doesn't mean it works in every single case. In this particular scenario, we seem to be discussing a serial cheater (he cheated on her while they were single and while they were married and still does...). For me (and it's entirely my opinion) it is very foolish and unwise to decide to get married someone with these red flags. Would you counsel someone to get married despite the fact that the other person is cheating on them? I am seriously asking. My "realistic" comment was about LoudMouth statement which you found to be harsh. I didn't find it to be harsh at all but very realistic.

Defamation is a FALSE accusation. How exactly finding a video SHE participated in (that's not even in question) could be considered defamation? Even when he indeed showed it to his friends STILL no grounds for defamation.

First of all, we seem to be mixing two different incidents. The FIRST one was back in 2006, when a student found a video and show it to other students. She was then suspended. The RECENT issue, came about a student approaching her about it and SHE decided to tell the school authorities about her past (she didn' disclose this information when she was hired). SHE then requested the leave and the district merely agreed. Even though I fully understand and sympathize with your frustration about the student (from the first incident), you need to realize who is the CHILD and who is the ADULT in this situation. I think that's pretty clear.

I think the issue is that she was fired from another school after they found out about her porn past and she failed to tell the authorities in the new school about it. I don't blame her really.

I didn't find his post harsh at all but realistic.

Even though I cannot excuse his behavior, I understand where he is coming from. A friend of mine (like you) was born and raised in the Church and also like you, messed around with a guy, drank, party around and got pregnant when she was a teen. The guy in the picture is her present husband and now that she is active, she wants to change everything around their lifestyle. The guy is angry, after all when he met her she was NOT active and didn't do any of these things, it is almost like he is now married to someone else. Of course, in your case this doesn't justify at all the cheating however you knew beforehand the kind of man he was (it was NOT a surprise to you was it?). You made a child with him at 18 even though he constantly cheated on you during the relationship, THEN decided to get married despite these HUGE red flags, he had an affair with your best friend while married to you and you decided to forgive him. Divorce may be the answer but I hope (for your sake and your kid) that next time (if there is a next time) you won't pick a loser (unfortunately, it tends to happen). You deserve better. I wish you all the best and I will "steal" LM post when he said:

Doing this to her? Excuse me, she did it on all her own. Now let me explain. I really feel sorry for this lady because I think it's very sad the fact that she changed her lifestyle yet her past will probably haunt her forever. Having said that, it is not the student's fault.

I LOVE Caro!