Melissa569

We need a way to break the news to our room mate that he needs to move out... But we're a little nervous about it, because he has violent tendancies. Here's a little more about the situation: I've mentioned this in the past, I don't know if some of you remember-- My husband and I had to pay off a few things, so we took in a room mate for a while to split the bills. His girlfriend had just kicked him out. So the deal was, he would move in with us, find a job we would all save up and square away our bills, and then he would move out and get his own place. Well, after he moved in (he stays in our livingroom, we only have a one-bedroom apartment), he tells us he is bi-polar, and he no longer takes his medication, because it makes him sleep 12 hours, and he needs to be able to wake up for work. He also has a script to grow and smoke marijuana (he does smoke it, but not in my house). He does bring "magic mushrooms" in here though, and eats them... Then one afternoon while we were out of the house, he had all his furniture (bed, big screen TV, stereo, lamps, etc) brought into our Livingroom, from his ex girlfriend's house. He also installed a curtain to divide the livinroom off! He was supposed to get a storage room for his stuff, but he brought it all here instead. Its so crowded in here, It's driving me nuts... After we got home, we told him "No, this is all gonna have to go into storage as soon as possible!" He said ok, but never did it... This was only supposed to be for a month or so, but its been 3 months. Now, during the past 2 weeks, he's been hounding me and my husband to switch to a 2-bedroom, so he can have a private room. I was like... What? Where did this notion come from?? We've each told him NO 3 times, but he keeps pressing it. Then last week, my husband went to the office to pay the rent, and our room mate followed him. This guy started asking the woman there about 2-bedroom rates, and when my husband said "We don't want to move to a 2-bedroom" our room mate started yelling over my husband, and badgering the woman there about cheaper deals for 2-bedrooms. When she told our roommate to leave, he said "Fine! These two tenants (us) are going to move out!" I had to call her later and smooth that over. He's just getting really wierd... And now he's accusing my husband of going through his stuff and stealing from him. One second, this guy is calm and nice. The next, he's screaming, yelling, slamming things around. At first, my husband and I argued with each other, because I wanted this guy gone, and my husband thought I was overeacting. He felt sorry for the guy. But now, my husband doesn't like him anymore either. We need to tell him to move out, but we're trying to do it in such a way so we don't set him off in one of his crazy, emotional outbursts. The littlest things tend to make him explode. Any ideas??

Maybe God handed out chocolate during that time

Haha, we call ours "the kids" too, :)

I have a male chihuahua mix named "Bruiser" and a female tabby cat named "Clover". Bruiser is kind of reserved, and can have an attitude... But he's still very effectionate with people he knows. Clover is a spoiled but very loving little princess, with a personality that won't quit, lol.

Awww, that's sad! No disrespect to a bishop, but if it were my friend, I would have kept writing anyway, lol. Especially since its not what the bishop thinks... As everyone says, I wouldn't be talking about romance or "missing him" in the letters, because eventually, I would run out of things to say, or just be saying the same words over and over again. Also, he himself might cut me off, if he feels I'm making his time away too painful for him. I would just ask him to share more of the amazing things he is seeing and learning out there. Ask him how he is changing, growing, learning... I've lived in a foreign country for 4 years (Army brat), and its amazing the changes it makes in you, and how fast you mature. I would be very intereted in watching those changes come about with a good friend of mine. That way, when he came home, it wouldn't be like he was a complete stranger, because I would have been up to date on his growth the whole time. To heck with what other people think, lol.

For the original quesiton, I won't mention any time limit, because there is none. Some people are more open and more sharing than others, and can therefore discover more about their partners in a shorter time. Some people are more reserved, and it takes longer. But I will say this-- When I was 18, I asked my mother, "How do you know when you're in love? How can you tell if you're ready to spend the rest of your life with someone??" And she said, "Never ask yourself if you can spend the rest of your life with a person, because that intimidates everyone-- even those who really are in love. Ask yourself if you can spend the rest of your life WITHOUT that person. Then you will know."

Sure I'm scared... But I also know that whatever wierd, embarrassing or senseless thoughts I've had, whatever private things I've done while nobody was looking-- everyone else has either done the same, or much, much worse... I can't really see anyone other than a perfect angel who never lived on earth being able to pass judgement on me. Besides, god CREATED me incapable of being perfect. You can't create something that's not perfect, and then punish it because its not, lol. God's not an idiot, he knows that. Also, there is a difference between being imperfect, and being evil. I am not evil. So I think that despite all my imperfections, he loves me. Even my human parents are capable of loving me, regardless of my imperfections. So certianly god, who is much more devine than my parents, is capable of it too.

My signature says it all.... :)

Hmmmm, interesting to know that other wards are not doing this. I’ll have to find out some how if there was a case of “sleep over molestation” around here. Maybe that’s the cause? Of course with some people you just never can tell... But I think you can cut the risk down by 90% if you teach your kids the basics of safety. My mother was abused that way when she was a child. So she always wanted to make sure that we knew what to watch out for, and that we were protected (which we were). She wasn't overly protective, we were pretty free, as long as she knew who we were with. She also warned us about the things she was told by abusers. She said, “Abusers will threaten you; they will say you’re going to get in trouble if you tell. They will threaten to hurt your family. They will say that if you tell, the police will take you away from your parents. Or that your parents will blame you, and hate you. But none of that is true. No matter how they threaten you-- never believe it. Tell someone anyway, and never be afraid.” I think its most important though to meet the parents of the child having the sleep over. You'd be surprised how many kids say, "Mom, Dad, so-and-so invited me to sleep over, can I go?" And the parents say, "Ok, but I want the address and phone number..." Meaning they have no idea who those people are. I think since they are the people you will be depending on to keep your kid safe, its your right to know who they are, and what they are all about. Letting someone you don’t know take care of your kids, is like hiring a stranger off the streets to baby sit. But following basic safety guidelines should keep your kids pretty safe.

The ward in our area recomends that LDS members do not allow their kids to have sleep overs anymore, because of the risk of child molestation. Is this in other wards as well, or just ours? I personally think that if you know the family very well, it should be ok. You just have to be more in touch with who your children are with, and watching their behavior for signs of being mistreated. If you think somebody might abuse your child, why would you let your child go anywhere near that family at all? By blocking it in the church, they are only stopping members from having sleep overs at other member's houses. So the kids will have sleep overs with non-church-going families they meet in school. If I had kids, I would rather they spend the night in another LDS home, quite frankly. I just don't know if I agree with it. Your child doesn't have to be "sleeping over" at a friend's house, for such a thing to happen. It can happen during a regular visit, in the daytime. I suppose a concerned parent could just say "If there are any visits or any sleep overs, they will be at MY house". But if every parent insisted on that, nobody's kids would ever leave the house, lol. So what's next? The kids won't be able to visit each other's houses at all?

I will stress like several others here that being famous does not give you license to abandon your morals. In fact, I take royalty’s approach on the matter (although some royals have strayed from this guideline): Shameful behavior is never excusable, coming from anyone. But especially not from those who are well known around the world. When an average person looses their cool or does something low-class, only their closest friends and family members know about it. But when you are under the watchful eye of the media, and millions look up to you as an example, the whole planet will know your every move. Therefore, it is your duty to be a respectful leader at all times.

I found all these delightful videos on YouTube, hope everyone enjoys them, and it puts a smile on your face: Funny LDS Missionaries!!! (Some Postman) (Singing “Take On Me”) (FIGHT!) YouTube - Mormon Missionaries Fighting (You put my chicken in the fridge!) YouTube - Dancing Mormon Missionary! (In casual dress) (soundless but funny) (Air guitar) (chair dance) (Missionary Haka) (More Missionary Haka) (Singing Josh Groban In The Car) YouTube - LDS Missionaries Singing Josh Groban (Wait For Me) YouTube - EFY - Leeds - 2009 - 4Ordained Ft. DJ Martin - Wait For Me (Charlie Brown Dance) (Duo) (Backstreet Missionaries) Other Funny LDS Singing / Dancing Videos: (ok, now I REALLY wanna move so I can join this ward, lol) (Mormon Boy Dance) (Spoof Of Pepsi commercial, using a book of mormon instead of pepsi) (Girls doing a dance show at the church)

Yeah, two years is a pretty long time to wait for a guy, in the prime of your youth and beauty. Especially when, being young, its really hard to tell if you want to spend your whole life with someone (particularly after not getting to spend any time with him for two years). Not to mention the fact that when he gets home, he's going to have every single young woman in the local wards wanting to date him. Honestly, if I had a daughter who was 18-21 years of age, I would encourage her to only date RM's, so she wouldn't have to worry about any of that drama (and neither would the young men on missions).

Honestly, I think that just sounds like something to help keep them from getting interested in anyone on their mission, or getting distracted, rather than being actual truth :) (saying this repsectfully, of course). I also notice that those young men who choose not to go on a mission often get ridiculed. And I do have an opinion about this... I think missionary work is very noble and honorable, but I'm not sure how I feel about the pressure for ALL young men to do it... Regularly attending church, leading a good life, and studying scripture is one thing. But being a young man and going 2 whole years without being able to acknowledge your need for the oposite gender, and devoting most of your time to serious missionary work... That's not really something every person can do. And by pressuring all young men to do it regardless of who they are inside, I really think you lower the calliber of those out on the field (no offense). Because you will have individuals with their own personal ideals and attitudes about various subjects (particularly the oposite gender), who are being trusted to represent our faith to the rest of the world. And because they are individuals with varying feelings / opinions and degrees of devotion, they may not all follow the rules completely. Especially when the women they are dealing with out there do not share our church's ideals.

Here is a video of my husband and his friend cooking me some of their native food (East Indian). I get to relax, and it was a lovely site, so I decided to share it :)

I'd never heard "decadent" used in any other context, so I can't really be called a lemming. I read it last week in a book, though, and I thought of this post...lol. Me either, actually. But I looked it up, and the def. says: dec·a·dent [dékəd'nt] adj 1. in decline: undergoing a process of decline or decay, especially in morals 2. immoral: showing uninhibitedly or immorally self-indulgent behavior The only way I can see it being connected, is like its so yummy, you are indulging in some imoral pleasure, lol. But the way they use it in context, you would swear they were using to to describe the chocolate's looks, like "delightfully decorated", "fancy" or "classy and elaborate". Of course, its mostly just our assumptions, but still, lol

Wow, where should I start? lol Ok, words and prases I hate: 1-- The major (and most minor) profanity (the D and H words are ok, used sparingly) 2-- Anything being said by someone who speaks so much lazy slang, you can barely understand what they say, lol 3-- Being called "hot" or "fine", instead of "pretty", "gorgeous" or "beautiful". 4-- People calling their girlfriends or wives "my (B word)" or "My (short for the W word)"--- out of affection! Bleh! Major turn-off. 5-- The words "dude" or "man" or "totally" when its said too much, especially with a surfer accent, lol. 6-- Valley girls who say the word "like", after... Like every few words, because like... Its so like annoying... Like you know what I mean? 7-- This is because I'm an Army Brat and military people don't do it this way-- Can't stand it when people actually spell out ASAP like A. - S. - A. - P., isntead of saying "A - Sap", like you're supposed to, lol. Actually, that drives a lot of military people crazy, lol.

That's so awsome! And it was great how you opened the door for him by being direct on weather it was a date or not. Most guys are so nervous abotu answerign that questions, they will say, "um..... do you want it to be a date?" or something, lol. I'm sure it'll be fun :) need4peace--- LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

Ok, got back from the interview about an hour ago. Wow, he really dug deep, lol. But I guess that's his job. I didn't really mind either, because he's the kind of easy-going person that you can say pretty much anything to. Ok, so the first thing he had me do was say a prayer out loud, that the spirit be with us, and we find solutions to all the problems I am facing. Then he had me describe in great detail all the reasons I came back to church: Marriage problems, lack of direction in life, unemployment, no job because of severe back pain-- but no college degrees or office training, depression, crisis of faith, you name it! lol. He asked for details on all that too. Wrote down highlights of everything I said. Then he said something that relaly cheered me up-- "You shouldn't be depressed about not having college degrees or office training, I know a lot of people, even some that work for me, who've never been to college, or even gotten a certificate. Who told you that you absolutely HAD to have training and degrees?" I said, "I just assumed that, because people woudl tell me to look on monster jobs, and other such sites for job listings, and all the office jobs said they required such-and-such years of expereince, or such-and-such training..." He said, "Well, a lot of employers list that, but still, you shoudl go ahead and apply anyway. Sometimes after an interview, they decide they like you as a person, and your ambition, and they think you are worth it. But in the mean time, I would suggest studying powerpoint, excell, etc. Most office jobs do use that a lot." Then he gave me a website "openoffice.org" where you can download programs that are pretty much exactly like the microsoft programs. But they are free. And there are tutorials ont he website for using them. After that, he told me abotu all the things one has to do in order to make themselves whole and a full active memebr of the church (pray every day, attend church activities, read the scriptures, tithe, etc.). He also gave me the church's version of the King James Bible, and a 3-in-one book with the book of mormon, doctrine and covenants, and pearl of great price. He said to go ahead and start on those, and study the computer programs, and he wants to see me again within the next 2 weeks. He also mentioned the church's employment program, and said he wanted to contact someone abotu that for me. And I didn't have to pay for my cab ride home, because he got one of the sisters to drive me home. She and I made friends too, she's kind of a lonely stay-at-home mom, and asked if I could take her cell phone number so we could go out and do something sometime, or mybe we could go to the gym together. She was really nice. Looks like if I just follow his suggestions and meet back with him again, my life might finally start looking up :)

I have an appointment for a bishop interview today, at 7pm. He said he just wants to catch up on where I am spiritually and gospel wise, and maybe gather a few more details on what my life is like right now, my history, etc. I was told that its casual dress, so that puts me at ease, a little bit. Just a little nervous about what all will be discussed, and what he might say about how far behind I am in scripture study, lol (VERY far behind). But I'll come back later and comment update on how it went. :)

I agree with everything here! lol. It is sooooo difficult to find out what your mate is all about, without living together, or being intimate, or at the very least discussing it for a while. I'm not condoning sex before marriage, I'm just saying, you have to figure out safe ways to get to know each other on a very deep level. Some people say "Well, after marriage, you can talk abotu all that, and you will learn together".... Yeah, you learn alright! But unless you are extremely lucky, what you're going to learn is just how different two people can really be, and on how many microscopic and complex, yet fundamental levels. One of you will have a higher libido, and the other won't be too interested in sex. And they claim to have all these pills and such, but you really don't know what that does to your body int he long run. Besides, its more about the mind, anyway. And I find that if you keep pushing the matter with someone who has a lower libido than you, they're going to come to the conclusion that you are WAY too obsessed, and they will just push you away even more. And the other thing is-- illusion. When you first get married, you may BOTH be very interested in sex, because its something new. But it won't be long before your true natures begin to show... One of you might say, "Ok, my curiosity is satisfied" and then move on to other subjects of interest. While the other might see sex as a way to reach a deeper personal level and get closer; they might want to try new things and bond even more. Some people think its impossible to bond too much. If you don't find this out before you get married, you're going to have some major problems later on. If you're gonna talk about it, I suggest you stick to the church's dating rules: "Lots of lights, lots of people, early hours". Maybe you can sit out of ear shot from others, and whisper. Or at night before you go to bed, write your partner in an email with all your personal thoughts and feelings. Or just talk on the phone! There are ways to discuss these personal details that don't involve being alone together, and risking going too far physically.

We've had so many people join the site in the last few months so I thought it would be fun to "get to know you." So I've got some questions you can answer. Here ya go and I'll start with my answers. If you prefer not to answer a particular question..that's okay. 1. What is your favorite color? Maroon (aka brownish-red) 2. Where were you born? San Francisco Bay area, California 3. Did you serve a mission and if so where? N/A 4. Married or single? Married 5. What is your favorite food? An east-Indian dish-- Chicken Tika Masala, with naan bread. 6. What is your favorite movie? Tie between "Taken" and "Phat Girlz" 7. Who is your favorite band? Four Tops (they sing "Baby I need yoru loving", "Sugar pie honey bunch", etc.) I like oldies! 8. Do you have children? No 9. Who is your favorite author? Penny Jordan 10. What is your hobby? Several-- piano, video editing, designing and constructing 18th century gowns, listening to music, theater, etc. 11. What is your idea of the perfect vacation? Hmmm... Maybe a cruise, I've never been on one and always wondered about it. 12. What is your favorite city? Sand Francisco. But only for visits, wouldn't want to live there, lol. 13. What is your favorite sports team? Other than figure skating, I don't really watch athletic events. 14. What kind of car do you drive? Don't have one at the moment. I'm a bus person. 15. What was the first car you owned? Ford Pickup 16. What calling do you hold in church? None at the moment 17. If you could travel anywhere in the world that you have not been to before, where would it be? Giza Egypt, maybe Cairo, India, Ireland, England... 18. What is your favorite tv show? Tie between "Rosanne" and "The Nanny" 19. What is your current favorite restaurant? Um.... "Taj Mahal" (Local Indian diner) 20. What event in your life gave you the biggest rush? Well.... I'm pretty much the biggest romantic on earth, lol. So I'm gonna go with "my very first kiss" which took place when I was 23. not going into detail but we'll say it was intense, lol.

Hmmm, I think I get it now. Kind of what I suggested at first, but a lot more too. Like deeper and more powerful. Hopefully some day I might find mine, lol. maybe soon, if all goes well. I am almost rock bottom at the moment, the only way to go is up. So maybe on the way, I will see some good things :)

Just confused. Does it mean you have been through all the dark areas of your life, and now that you've found your way out, you want to share your story? Or does it have a broader meaning?

Well, if it says not to in the handbook, then maybe the church has their reasons for saying so. But as for my personal feelings on the matter... We shouldn't go too far with personal details, meaning nothing that breaks another person's confidence, is too private or meant to stay only in the marriage/family, and nothing that's inappropriate for church. But other than that, I think sharing some of your short commings allows people to connect with you. Too often we look at mentors such as teachers, bishops, missionaries, church activity organizers, etc., and think, "Yeah, its great they made it to such a respectable position... But its probably because they've always done well, and had a near-perfect life. I bet their parents are doctors, they were popular in school, honor student, never in trouble, family is proud and supportive of them, they set their goals early in life, made few or no mistakes, bla, bla, bla... Unfortunatly, that's not how my life has been. So I will never be able to accomplish the things they have. With their life, they would never understand my problems." And that's not true. Often, its the people who have made the biggest mistakes and lived through the worst circumstances, who make the most heroic mentors. Sharing your short commings (within reason, and as long as you're allowed to) shows the people who look up to you that not only are you human too, but no matter where they come from, anyone can do something meaningful with their life.