Melissa569

I personally don't bother to go any further than not being "trashy". Meaning my shorts are never more than an inch or two above my knees. My V-necks never show an actual bust line, and my sleeves don't go past the upper curve of my shoulders. And of course, I don't show my belly. Other than that, I don't really care what anyone thinks. In my opinion, it doesn't matter how much you cover up, somebody is going to lust after you. And jewelry? I've never known a man to flirt with a woman because of her jewelry... lol. As far as hair goes, some men prefer natural looks, and other men love a frisky burst of color. Men still find a way to lust after the women in Afghanistan, who totally cover themselves in a robe, from top to toe. At some point, you have to hold the OTHER person responsible for the lust in their mind. You don't control their thoughts, and nothing you do (or wear) will ever give you that ability. And then you have to consider the fact that not everybody is attracted to the same thing. Whats modest to one person, might be very exciting to another. Take me, for example (this is going to sound EXTREMELY unusual, but its still true, and I'm going to say it anyway just to prove a point): I am VERY attracted to men dressed entirely in black, or in suits, or in robes-- yes ROBES! Don't ask why, I just love how they drape and flow when someone moves. Those things are supposed to be attempts at modestly and decency. But to me, its more attractive than a man showing skin! In fact, the more skin he shows, the less attracted I am. Very odd, I know. But true, nonetheless. I have no idea why this is, its just the way I've always been. The point is, I've spoken to others, both male and female, who share my (strange but very real) opinion. Do what you like, but it won't work on everyone. In all your attempts to repel one pair of eyes, you'll be attracting another. I say live up to your own understanding of modesty. That's all you can do. :)

Well, to be perfectly honest, if a major event like that were going to happen, I think the first people to die are the only TRULY fortunate ones! lol. Nobody ever really thinks about what life in the aftermath would be like, you know? The idea of actually surviving any kind of apocalypse is kind of like building Terminators-- It might sound like a wonderful solution right now. But later, you're gonna be sorry... What you were about to face would be far worse than anything that might have killed you.

LMAO, both are funny :)

Well said, Suzie :)

I partly understand how you feel. My husband is a Catholic and has NO interest in the LDS church. But its ok, because I just keep my church activity for myself. I would suggest making a deal with your wife, the way I did with my husband. Just say: "Hey, how about if I just participate in the church, and I keep all this between myself and the other church members. I promise I won't talk about it around you at all, I won't preach at you or try to convert you, if its not something you want to hear. And any church activity will be done away from our home. All I ask in return is-- you let me do it." If you're not trying to convert your wife, and if her not believing in god really doesn't bother you, then there really is no need to discuss your faith her. Particularly if it causes a fight, which is never good for a marriage. I would tread carefully on this one, and really analyze your feelings to uncover a motive. It seems like your desire to "explain" it to her and have her "understand", could slowly grow into a desire to have her "agree" with the gospel, the way you do. Or at the very least, she may think its growing into that. But be warned-- as you progress in the church, your wife may get more and more worried. Because while I love the LDS church, I have been inactive for many years. Recently comming back, I'm noticing a lot about it that I never knew as a child, and some of it is extremely surprising. One of the things I notice, is that "they" :) really like to push members to where eventually, they have devoted every waking second outside sleep and their job-- to church. As much as possible, with little time for themselves. I'm not trying to scare you out of involvement. I'm just saying, that could become a problem... So you may need to explain that to your ward, and really stress to them that you not being "too" invilved, is somewhat critical to the survival of your marriage. I had to do that. See, my husband believes in god, but he's not a big "church" person. I wasn't either. But when I decided to go back to church, he freaked out a little. So I promised him, "It will ONLY be once a week. Three hours on Sundays. That's it, I PROMISE!" And since then: * The missionaries started coming over every Wednesday night. * My visiter-teacher started showing up wanting to do lesosns. * My home teacher too. * Relief society activities. * People calling to ask if I'll help with young women's activities. * Women inviting me to play dates, even though I don't have kids. Among a dozen other things. I've had to (politely) tell them to please tone it down-- a lot-- because it was really starting to make my husband mad. And I've noticed that we are drifting a lot more now too. Your wife (and my husband) may be getting angry because she's afraid that your involvement with the church is going to drive you both apart. She probably thinks the deeper you get into it, the more you might be trying to convince her, or bring more church activities to your home. And the less you will have in common. Would she be ok with you being active in church if you agreed not to discuss it, or involve her? If she would, then everything should be fine, as long as you keep your end of the deal. But if she gets upset even when you don't discuss it, then she probably is afraid that its going to drive a wedge between you. If that's the case, I would say work on reasuring her that it won't-- as long as that's the truth, which you will need to figure out for yourself :) .

Title as in being labeled a family member, like mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, etc. I was asking why the title is so important, if you are still going to know, love, and see them anyway? Haha, as for people pointing and whispering because I'm not sealed... Yeah, I've had people in the church act kinda snooty with me when they learn that my husband and I are: A-- Not sealed, or even of the same faith for that matter B-- Would not get sealed together, even if you offered us the chance C-- Have no children, and don't intend to have any (not with each other anyway) D-- Care about each other, but aren't even sure if we wanna stay married for the rest of our earthly lives, let alone eternity. We're just too different. And yes, if you're willing to give up enough, you can condition your mind to "tolerate" living with just about anyone.... Even Satan, if he's your only choice. But I'm not going to seal myself to someone for eternity just to get to a higher level. Wouldn't really be heaven anyway, if I wasn't happy with that person. If I'm gonna be sealed to a man, he has to be someone I actually WANT to spend eternity with. Eternity is a long time, you don't agree to anything for that length of time, unless you're 100% sure you want to do it. Yes we were inactive, deprived, young, and pathetically lonely when we got together, and again, we care about each other as human beings and friends. But eternity is different. Others can continue to judge and look down there nose at me with their "Holier Than Thou Art" position if they want... But walking around thinking you are better than other people is called vanity. And and unfortunatly for them, vanity is yet another impure thing you must be cleansed of, in order to be TRULY worthy through and through. Plus, vanity is usually just the tip of the iceberg, and a sign of even darker things lying below the surface. Kinda shooting themselves in the foot with that, and they might be a little disappointed exactly where in heaven they end up, hehe :)

No, I didn't make that up. In fact, those are not even my words, in the first post I noted that it was a suggestion made to me by someone else.

I see.

I’m curious… Besides just an official family member “title”, what makes being sealed so special? If you can still visit with other souls in heaven, and you remember who they are-- then who cares what their title is? A lady from church suggested, “You probably won’t remember anyone from earth if you’re not sealed”. But… In order to not remember anyone who's not sealed to you, your entire memory of earthly life outside family encounters would have to be wiped clean. And if you have no memory of your life on earth-- how can you learn from it, or be judged on it? So I don’t think our memories will be lost. But again, if we can remember and visit others, then what’s the difference if you’re sealed, besides a title?

Haha yeah, I admit, a lucid dream is difficult to walk away from :)

I'm studying Lucid dreaming right now, because I recently had a lucid dream (its basically where you realize that you are dreaming, while you are STILL dreaming, and you can therefore control everything that happens). I've mainly been studying techniques on YouTube, and buddying up with other "dream jounral" video logs folks there. They say having a dream journal is an important step in learning to lucid dream regularly. Among many other tips. In my lucid dream, I was able to manifest an entire palace simply by willing it to be, and I walked around inside it. I could fly, and everything. Crazy how those abilities in dreams feel like something you have always been able to do, but just forgot how when you were born here, hahaha. I also spoke to Jesus in that dream! jsut a dream, I know. But the most incredible, indescribable messages were conveyed! I like to think that's how it will be in the afterlife-- we will have all those amazing abilities... That's why I want to master lucid dreaming, so I can explore that a bit more. Anyway, some of the people I have been talking to there who have mastered lucid dreaming are having some AMAZING dreams! I especially like this man's video-- here he is talking about a romantic dream he had (don't worry, nothing gross, its totally clean): And by the way, here is the song he mentions in the dream, so you can add that to the story in your mind, makes it all the more amazing to actually know the song he's tlaking about: Anyone else ever attempted this (lucid dreaming)? Or had one?

MOE-- Oh, I was just going by what most MP's teach-- that you "won't meet your eternal companion while on your mission", and wondering why they say that, if we are not predestined. Hmmm... The consequence aspect is interesting. Didn't really think of that. Of course, they could just claim that the interest developed when she went back and re-visited her old mission stomping grounds as an RM (I've actually heard of that happening a few times). But still, maybe I could mention the student/teacher thing too, just to add a third perspective. Funky-- Yeah, I think if its just a whim, it will fizzle out while she's away from him. But if not, then being away won't matter later on.

True, I agree a transfer would be less distracting. But if soul mates are a myth, and if any two good people can be happy together, then why couldn't you marry someone you met on your mission-- after your mission is over? Of course, the purpose of your mission is NOT to "find someone". But if you are not predestined for anybody, and you just so happen to bump into someone you would like to contact after your mission is over (dispite a transfer), then what would be wrong with that? I'm basically debating weather to say "Get a transfer and don't mess up your mission--- and if you are still interested in this person after you get home, then fine."

I have a younger cousin, who is 22, and currently serving a mission. We exchange letters from time to time, just to keep tabs on each other. But now there is a problem-- my cousin is teaching a new member, and claims to be "falling in love" with that person... The exact quote was "I know its a bad distraction, but the second we shook hands, I got this feeling that we knew each other all our lives, and I got a flash of us being married with kids-- it felt so right, and so real." In our letters, the subject of soul mates came up, and my cousin asked me what I think about soul mates... Well... I'm currently sitting here working on a letter back to my cousin, wondering what to say. Of course, I plan to say the obvious-- DON'T DO ANYTHING WHILE ON YOUR MISSION! And my cousin knows better than to do such a thing (or at least I hope so!). But beyond that, I was also asked what I thought about "contacting someone you teach after your mission is over". Anyway-- It now seems that both my cousin and I are wondering what the church thinks about soul mates, eternal companions, and weather or not they are the same thing? Also, the "pre-existence" and how it ties into all this. Does the church believe that we "remember" our eternal companion from the pre-existense? Is there a specific person we are all meant to be with? (lord knows, it certainly seems so!). For me, this can all be a bit confusing. My personal deffinition of a "soul mate" is someone that you either knew and cared for before you came here and throughout your life you "remember" loving that person, and search for them again while on earth. Or it could be someone who is your "complementing oposite", meaning that although you are different, all your oposites complement each other-- and that god created one for each person. Weather or not you care to find that person while you are on earth, is up to you. And sometimes, you may have to wait until the afterlife, because they may have lived in a different time, or much too far away from you (hint-hint people who just "never found the right one" lol). I'm not sure how I would define an "eternal companion" though, especially by the church's standards. Or weather or not the church has a different view on them than I do on "soul mates". Well, actually, I guess my deffinition of the church's "eternal companion" label, is just someone you met on earth, and later decided that you wanted to spend eternity with them, because.... Well, just because, lol. Would that be correct? I guess what I'm confused about is--- does the church believe that two specific people can be "predestined" to be together, or not? I ask, because I've heard two conflicting statements on this: 1-- More than one long-standing church member has told me that ANY two "worthy" people can "make it" together, and I have also heard that the church encourages this. 2-- But then my cousin says that their bishop AND their MP preach to them that they "will not meet their eternal companion while on their mission", and that most MP's preach the same thing. This (to me) implies that there is a "certain person" we were each meant to end up with, and god will make sure you do not meet that person while on your mission... I personally think they are told that just to keep them focussed on their mission-- which they should stay focussed! But if the church does not believe in something similar to MY deffinition of a predestined "soul mate", and if they really do believe that any two worthy people can make a marriage work... Then why on earth CAN'T you meet your eternal companion while on your mission? That is, assuming you would only act on your feelings AFTER you have returned home-- after all, you do know their name and address, if you've been teaching them... Gosh this is confusing, lol. Help?

Hmmm, good point! Come to think of it, I guess there are a lot of later additions to the “word of god”. It’s a very tricky subject though… There once was a time when everyone who has officially been deemed a “profit” was NOT thought of as such. They were simply a regular person, with a talent for listening to god with their heart (and in some cases, seeing him with their eyes, or hearing him out loud). And it seems that (particularly after Jesus came along) god does make exceptions and changes, as he sees fit. Difficult to say though, weather some random person you are speaking to (or even you) have the same talents that profits in the past had, and what the very latest word of god is… And if the word of god never changes, why would we need current profits? It doesn’t take a profit to simply re-read what has already been written, and stick to it. To me, this is proof that god does change his mind on some things, and needs a human vessel through which to reach us.

I was talking to a non-denominational girl this afternoon at my local college about LDS. She does believe in the bible and all, but she mentioned our other books like BOM, DC, Pearl, etc.... And she said that the bible forbids additional scriptures. I wanted to check it out for myself, so I looked it up online, and I found this quote from Revelation 22:18-9 which states: "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and [from] the things which are written in this book." Some online religious blogs say that's just telling us not to add to Revalation, but it is said in other places too: Deut. 4:2 “You shall not add to the word which I command you, nor take anything from it, that you may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you." Also: Proverbs 30:5-6 “Every word of God is pure; he is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. Do not add to His words, lest He rebuke you, and you be found a liar.” The Bible refers to its writings as Scripture 1 Cor. 4:6 “that you may learn in us not to think beyond what is written, that none of you may be puffed up on behalf of one against the other.” Can anyone offer some clarity on this?

I think its kind of like how the government taxes the company you work for, and then they tax your individual paycheck too... You paid your tithe... But since you and her are no longer a combined unit, and you passed the money on to her, whatever money she gets is her own individual increase. Just my opinion. PS-- Its nice of you to even pay spousal support, though. Most of they guys I know would their ex to get lost, lol. Not saying you should, I'm just saying its kind.

This is kind of crazy/funny, and maybe its just me, but.... I was at our stake center recently, and met a whole bunch of people there from Utah (mostly missionaries, both male and female, some young, some older couples). And I noticed that the people from Utah seemed much taller (particularly the guys) than most of the people in California.... Is this just a wierd coincidence? Or have other people noticed anything like this? I don't know, I just can't help but wonder if there is something about certain areas of the country that tend to bring up taller or shorter people... I have also noticed that the people in LA and San Francisco are taller than the people in the rest of California. No idea why this is....

Do what I do-- I get paid to make educational videos on YouTube. If its a really good and popular video, YouTube partnership program will pay you, and so will Google Adsense. That's what I have been earning money through, because my videos gets A LOT of views. They won't pay you until your earnings reach the $100 mark, but again, if they are popular, and you take all the promotion suggestions, that shouldn't take long. :)

I personally don't mind people looking at the real me in a forum (aka my avatar). Or even (good) people knowing exactly who I am. The only reason I don't include my last name, or exact location, is because there are creepies out there, lol. But I have no problem taking full responsibility for my own statements. And I will say the same things in person, as I do online. I don't act any differently. :)

I say you should go, but you need to talk to your wife about the kids. They shouldn't be forced to go, but nor should they be forbidden to. You both need to agree that if the children express their own interest in your church, by themselves, they should be allowed to explore it. Its not that the church is a cult... Its that "some" members make it seem like one, to outsiders. And that makes me really mad... The reason people think our church is a cult, is because cults like to micro-manage your life. Meaning they have to have their fingers in every tiny little aspect of your daily routine. Nothing you do is ever enough; you are always expected to give more and more of your time and yourself to the group. Cults like to isolate you, cut you off from as many outside influences as possible, so they can control more of what you do, say, and think. Now, while our church itself really mostly just wants people to pay tithe and come to church every Sunday, maybe help some memebrs, or teach sunday classes-- there are some members who just take it too far, and make every waking moment of every day about the chruch: They won't socialize with people outside the church (unless its a conversion attempt). Won't do any activities, other than the ones set up by the church. Won't allow any forms of entertainment in the home, unless its made by the church. They almost never talk about anything outside church topics, and even if someone does manage to talk abotu something else, they always manage to steer the conversation back to (you guessed it)-- church. The above state is called "obsession". And you can ask any psychologist-- people who are obsessed with something, usually become a MAJOR bore in all other areas of their life. They end up with little or nothing left of themselves, and basically become another cookie-cutter example. This tends to drive everybody away from them. Then they convince themselves that the reason nobody wants to be around them, is not because of an obsession-- its because everyone else is influenced by Satan! lol. That's really going a bit overboard, in my opinion. You can't convert other people, when they are looking at you and your life, and seeing that you basically no longer have a personality or a life of your own, because of your obsession. Basically, if you allow yourself to become obsessed, and you are setting a "scary" example, you are cutting off your ability to reach people, and do the lord's work. For full details, see my singature, lol. Now, some might argue that there is nothing wrong with being totally in love with God. And theoretically, that's kind of true... But an obsessed mind is an unhealthy mind. And inside an unhealthy mind-- even the gospel and the image of god becomes tainted, dangerous, and harmful. Think Charlie Manson, the extreme terrorist groups, etc. God didn't put you here to just sit around in silence, and obsess over him all day long. He put you here to be tested. To be productive and useful. To go out in the world among the many influences, to go through tests and trials in all different situation-- and still come out on top. He put you here to test your individual soul. Not to watch you copy someone else, without question or thought. How are you worthy of a reward, if no thought goes into what you do? As long as your wife is aware that you know the difference between brushing up your faith, and being "obsessed", I'm sure she will calm down about it. But you might scare her if you start demanding that everybody and everything in your home changes.... Go easy on her. :)

I wouldn't worry too much about people thinking that... At least not people who know the law. Its almost impossible to marry for a green card these days. I would say wait until you are over here, and then form a relationship. You are obviously going to come here legally, so no worries there. As long as you don't over-stay whatever visa you have. As for other people's concerns on "green card marriages"--- Don't worry. They have it set up now to where being married to a U.S. citizen is not enough... You STILL have to have your own good-standing status with immigration, on your own, without your American spouse-- or you will most likely be denied a green card. Seriously, there are tons of American women over here who married foreign men, and have 2 or 3 kids with him, and the government STILL deported the husband, just because he didn't have his own good status, without his wife. Its so silly how people see an illegal immigrant here, and they worry that they will try to "marry an American for a green card". lol. That can no longer be done. Back in 2000, they abolished the law which stated that simply being married to an American gives you the right to live here... That's no longer true. So basically, if an immigrant comes in here illegally-- or if they come here legally, but they over stay, and their visa expires-- that person CANNOT get a green card simply by marrying a U.S. citizen. Just living in the USA without status makes you subject to the "ten-year-ban" . Meaning that if they discover you, you will be deported, and you will not be allowed to come back into the United States again, or apply for another Visa/green card for ten years. Regardless of weather you have family here. The government does not care about love, family ties, or the sanctity of marriage. That does not impress them in the least bit. They only care about legal status. The only way you can use marriage to get in here now, is if the American citizen files for a "Fiancee Visa" for you before you enter the United states. That will give you permission to come here. Then you will have a certain amount of time to marry that person, or you will have to leave. Or you can marry the American citizen over in your country, but they may have to come home without you, because you will still have to apply for a Marriage Visa, and wait for it to be approved, before you can come over. Or you can get your own visa by yourself, then come to America, marry them, and then apply for a marriage Visa. But in that case, you will have to do so before your visa expires. And you may still have to leave and go back home and wait, until your marriage Visa is completed. Then of course, after all that, they are going to put you through the ringer in matters of surprise inspections to see if you're actually living together--- interviews (talking to your neighbors, friends, and family about your union), testing to see how much you know about each other, etc. Its a real pain, lol. I no longer suspect any immigrants of this, because its so impossible, and its just not worth it.

Well, a good thank you is always a welcome comment :)

I guess this is about a fragrance, but the guy on the bike cracks me up whenever I watch this... YouTube - Why LDS Missionaries are Sexy - LDS Missionary Video that'll knock your socks off!! DISCLAIMER: I did not make the video, I simply stumbled upon it while browsing YouTube. I am fully aware that the scenario in the video is not realistic or accurate as far as real missionaries are concerned, and is not encouraged by the church. I realize that its only a joke. I do not think the sexual aspect of it is funny, I simply think the main character is comical.