jennvan

My understanding is that its not a prophecy but more a requirement (or commandment) of Islam to convert everyone over to Islam and to make Sharia law the law of the land, so that even "unbelievers" would be subject to it. There are some who teach that it is one of the foundational commitments Muslims make in their faith. I was taught this by an Imam when I took a 16 week class on the religion of Islam. I took a look at wikipedia and found this page Five Pillars of Islam - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia which explains the 5 pillars of Islam pretty basically. It is the same as what I was taught. And remember there are other writings that most of Islam also embraces similar to what we as LDS do. They have the hadith (which is Muhammad's doings and sayings in his life, which is almost as sacred as the Koran) and various writings of their Imam and other clerics (which would be similar to local leadership in our church, Area 70's, stake presidents and bishops). In those other writings, Muslims are commanded in more specific ways to do things that would bring them into power where ever they live. We can see this beginning to happen in Europe as others have stated in this thread. It is causing major problems in many areas. I don't believe for a second that people of Islam wouldn't hesitate to find a way to make this happen here in the US, despite whatever the Constitution says. The Constitution means nothing to some Muslims. There are some who have come to the US because they want to be able to live their religion the way they see it and are not able to do so in other Muslim countries and therefore Love the Constitution. Others, not so much. Those are the ones we need to be aware of and worried about. IMO.

I'm curious how that is different.

This came from a Liahona article in 1990. Here is the link. LDS.org - Liahona Article - Caffeine—The Subtle Addiction I have also heard it in passing spoken by other general authorities. Here is another interesting more recent article regarding "energy drinks" most of which contain large amounts of caffeine. LDS.org - Ensign Article - The Energy Drink Epidemic

Did anyone watch Glenn Beck on Fox News tonight? I'd be interested in hearing anyone's thoughts or views if they watched it. I was beyond amazed. Seriously I kept saying, CRAP, how did we let this happen?

Decaffeinating coffee doesn't de-nastify it. :) Most things that have caffeine in them taste horrible and you have to use LOTS of sugar and milk and such to offset the taste. Same thing happens with beer/alcohol. Its nasty until you "get used to it". Why would I want to "get used to it"? So gross. :) Why are we thinking we know more or that science knows more than our prophets? The prophets have said specifically no coffee or tea and have said that other products with caffeine in them should be included in the word of wisdom.

I guess so. Its been a long time since I've seen that. Here is a link to a page that has one similar to what we were looking at recently. Treadle Machines

I think that we would adjust to it but right away if something happened for us to be without electricity it would be hard on most people. We just aren't equipped or trained on how to do things without electricity. We are strong and intelligent people and would figure things out eventually though. Part of my emergency preparation has been learning how to do things without electricity. My mom is even on the lookout for a tredle sewing machine. Its good to know how to do many things. :)

This exact situation is why I really dislike people using the Love Languages. How do you know she is asking for #1? How do you know her love language isn't #3 which is what he was doing? The premise of love languages really only works with generally stable and secure relationships, it doesn't create stable or secure relationships. If you are insecurely attached to your spouse, nothing you "do" will ever be enough. If you want to do more reading on this topic I would HIGHLY recommend Susan Johnson's book "Hold Me Tight."

It is always interesting to me that people in the church never think to seek professional help for themselves or their family when they are falling apart. Bishops are called to help us work through our sin but most of them are not trained in dealing with broken relationships. I would highly recommend finding a good marriage therapist. Make sure they actually have training in marriage therapy and don't just do it as a default because so many people need help. A good resource to look at is American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and click on TherapistLocator. Please hesitate in "self-diagnosing" your wife, there are all sorts of "trendy" diagnoses these days, including bipolar and ADHD. While there are many who have those disorders, please let a professional do the diagnosing.

Like the many women I know who never married in this life. They don't get to multiply and replenish or have marriage in this life. From scripture, there is hope that that may happen in the millennium but not in this life. It does happen where there is a contradiction.

Not that I disagree, I'm just looking for a reference. Can you post one, please?

I think most LDS people would consider the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants to be the standard. But most of us consider the Prophet to be the final word. Many of us have a testimony that the Prophet will never be led astray.

Can you post a reference to the law of tithing preparing us to live the law of consecration? Thanks!

I appreciated the references Connie made and I would add For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.

I think it depends on the type of relationship you have. Is it a marriage relationship or dating/engaged relationship? And yes, I believe you can go "too far" in marriage relationships.

My understanding about the Oklahoma law is that it was in response to the examples cited above but also a more recent trial where a man cited Sharia law for his ability to rape his wife. It was eventually overturned in a higher court but it did win in the lower court. I think Oklahoma just wanted to be preventative in their law making.

beefche, I agree that it isn't unique to have problems with home and visiting teachers. Yet it can be more difficult for singles because they don't always have another way to connect to others in their ward, especially if a single doesn't have children. The change thing is what has me want to connect to other mid-singles. Yes, there are some things that happen in the church that are the same as others but there are many things that are unique that I want to be able to have people be with me in. I believe that married people can be with me in those times too but I've not had any married people want to have me be part of their life and want to be part of mine in that way. I have had a few that I was friends with while they were single that I've continued to be good friends with but its different when they get married.

Marshac, Thanks for posting that link to the med intervention. I hadn't seen it before. My addictions professor was adamant that there was no such thing as a behavior addiction, only drug/alcohol addiction. I didn't agree with this. This research leans toward that idea that behavior/images can change the balance of chemicals in the brain. Good things for ongoing research.

I guess for me I feel I've done as much as I could have to try to connect with the people in my ward. I teach an adults only sunday school class, I attend RS and participate, I have taught a RS enrichment lesson and I do my visiting teaching. What I haven't been able to do because of my work/school schedule is to attend every enrichment or ward activity. I only recently got home teachers who actually talk to me. I have talked with the bishop many times over the years but nothing has ever changed. I know a pretty good portion of the people in my ward and for the most part generally what is happening in their lives. Yet, I am never asked about my life and what I'm doing. I had one lady ask me about what was going on in my life and we ended up talking for a bit because she didn't understand what I was doing or why it was important. I wonder sometimes if people in wards don't understand that the joys of progression that singles enjoy can be different from those who are married or have children experience, especially with women who get married young and didn't finish college. Becky Thomas on MormonTimes talked about how singles have to create their own change and progression where families and married couples have it happen even if they don't want it because of the nature of families and children. So achieving change and progression is bigger for singles because, for many, its purposeful and intentional. I also think that change for singles is sometimes coupled with grief because for some there can be a realization that they still haven't achieved the ultimate goal that they would love to achieve. Almost in a "I can do this and all this great stuff but I can't seem to get married. What's wrong with me?" Not everyone feels that but I think it can be easy to feel that way for many singles. Honestly people, I could go on and on about this topic for years. :)

Unfortunately, my visiting teacher was the RS president and I think she was overwhelmed with things at the time. Part of why I shared about my mom's visiting teachers was that when we are upset and overwhelmed with life crises, its sometimes hard for us to think what could be helpful or to ask for what we need. It was incredibly soothing to just have someone do for us. I agree with asking for help and yet I still think it depends on the ward and how well they know you, like I said before. When I moved into my new ward, 2 members showed up and they were both in the High Priests Group (they were older retired gentlemen) and I was almost afraid to ask them to help since I live on the 3rd floor. I don't mind asking for help when I need it and yet I think part of what is important is having people around us to know what we might need, which doesn't always happen in some wards. Sometimes I have felt like no one in my ward really cares what is going on in my life because they don't take the time to ask. That makes me hesitate to ask someone for help. But I've been in another ward where I totally felt included and that people wanted to know how I was doing and I wouldn't have hesitated to ask for help. And I agree with Wingnut, we just want to be seen as people with needs and problems just like everyone else. They may be different types of problems or needs than others, but problems nonetheless. How do we help others to see this?

I agree with Dravin in the confusion of compassion and understanding the rule of law. Would these people do the same thing with Canada or England or Guatemala? No, it would never be allowed. I feel that if they are seeking a better life that they should apply to come legally. Its hard and yet people do it regularly. One of my favorite tv shows is 30 Days by Morgan Spurlock where he (or someone he chooses) goes and lives a life different from their own to gain understanding. He has a new one with illegal immigration. It was interesting. The person who lived with the illegal immigrants then went down to Mexico to see the conditions that the family was escaping from. He was appalled at the conditions such that even the worst of what they could have here in the US was head and shoulders above where they were in Mexico. But not all of Mexico is that bad. There are other areas that are better. Why don't they move to the better areas of Mexico? And I would refer to the counsel from modern apostles and prophets that people are to stay in their homeland to build up the church in their own areas. What is interesting to me is that people don't travel south to escape the problems of Mexico, they come to America. So its really about the corruption that is rampant in many areas of Mexico and other South American countries. I LOVED when the church announced the microlending for members in South America because that is how we will be able to change those countries. I believe we need to support good people in those areas so that they can gain the strength to overcome the corruption and create good environments for everyone. Even for those outside of the church, this can hold true. We can't do this as a "country" because then we would just be trying to "take over Mexico" but we can certainly do a lot of good on our own.

I think this is the biggest problem with people who feel they understand what its like to be a never married single in their 30's or 40's. Which is also different from being someone who is divorced in their 30's with children. Its just not the same. Different experiences, different needs. Which is also why I also feel like mid-singles shouldn't be a mandatory place for people to go just because they are the right age. It may not fit for everyone, but I'd love to give people the option. Also I think this is a big one for many mid-singles. It feels like we are the same as youth or even YSA's. And I totally agree with the reciprocity thing. It would have been nice if I had someone bring me dinners while I was studying for comprehensive exams (one test for 2 years of info) when I was in grad school. When my father died last year, no one in my ward even offered to do anything for me. It was hard that I'm not due the same thought process that others would have if they were married/had families. And yet I wonder if this is due to the rigidity of some people in our church, there isn't anything other than bringing food. That is the default, so if you need something other than that, we don't know what to do. It was wonderful that my mom's visiting teachers came into my parents home (unsolicited) while we were at the hospital and totally cleaned the whole house including changing linens on the beds. It was amazing how comforting that was to come home to. Obolus: How do we do this? How would you do it? I'm not trying to be rude or anything, just looking for ideas.

I was going to say the same thing that ryanh said, if he is just coming off disfellowship status, it is highly unlikely that he is going to be married in the temple so quickly. He may have a thought about what he would "want" to do but the reality of that happening could be quite different. That is what it sounds like is going on here.

When you are as heavily into pornography as you state you are, the body has been conditioned to be aroused by many things even if we "logically" are not. Its actually quite common in men with pornography problems.

I'm curious about what didn't work with these methods you tried. I also second the thoughts expressed earlier to look at yourself and become aware of what is happening (to yourself and things around you) when you view pornography. There is an interesting cycle that happens with compulsions. This is the typical pattern we see: 1. stress happens in life 2. anxiety starts building up 3. you want to view porn (or any other unhealthy activity: drinking, drugging, cutting, disordered eating, etc) and the anxiety starts to peak in intensity 4. there is a dissociation from the feelings of anxiety 5. this dissociation or disconnection from reality allows the undesired activity to be easily seen as a good option or the only option 6. the activity is done (sometimes people even report watching themselves do it and feeling like they can't do anything to stop it) 7. reality sets back in as to what happened 8. shame enters in and the cycle begins again It really is a never-ending cycle until we can break it at some point in the cycle. One of the previous posters suggested maybe changing the shame part of it (just accept that you are going to look at porn) but I think its easier to interrupt the cycle in other places. I have found the most success with people who can interrupt the cycle during the anxiety stage and many people have to start with the peaking place. Take some time to examine what you are feeling like both in your mind (what are the words you are hearing) and your body (what do you feel, where, how?) as the anxiety starts to build up. How do you know things are spinning faster? What does that feel like to spin faster? It might not be as easy to do it right now because it sounds like you are spinning in the shame and cycling so quickly its hard to see any gap that you might be able to get a foothold on. But if you will take that step back from things and give an honest look at yourself, you can find a place to stop and look and feel. Another thing I would suggest is that it sounds like you are running from your problem in many ways, both figuratively and literally. Anxiety and shame will always run us until we can sit with the uncomfortableness of them. The way to overcome anxiety and shame is to face them but we can't "white knuckle" it either so we need to find behaviors that are soothing in our anxiety. It sounds like what you have done is those things that others think you should do. Maybe you should look at what you need, what types of things soothe you? Would it be helpful to listen to certain kinds of music, paint a picture, walk in a park, play with an animal, talk to a friend, or any other numbers of things that bring some happiness to your heart/soul. I would also suggest looking for a therapist who specializes in this work because it is not easy work to do. I wish you luck on your journey and hope that you can find the peace you are looking for. I know that Heavenly Father wishes it for you as well.