sweetiepie

I hate to be judgmental, and I am glad you finally realized that this was a dangerous situation, but I can't believe you let this go on for so long. It might still be if your ex didn't file the order. I would have never let anyone abuse my child, emotionally, verbally, or physically. If he didn't want my child, then he wouldn't have me. Husband or child? No question.

It sounds like she is still honoring her garments, but enjoying looking nice. You should be happy that after 20 years of marriage, she still likes to look good and impress you! Maybe you should compliment her and say how grateful you are that she still works hard to look nice. I love it when my husband says that to me. It makes me happy that he notices that I work hard to keep a figure and look nice. Women like that. It helps us feel attractive and happy.

I'm so sorry. I am going to give you my "girlfriend" advice, as I am sure many people on here will give you wonderful spiritual counsel as well. This is his problem to fix, not yours. It sounds like you are doing everything you can. I would have the same fears and insecurities as you. I don't think you would be a bad wife if you took a stand since he technically is doing all he can to fight this but it doesn't sound like he is emotionally; just going through the "steps". I might be ready to take some time apart and give a little bit of an ultimatum. You can be there for him and love him, but you don't have to accept his behavior. If you need space, its ok. But that is up to you and of course, pray, pray, pray.

I know many people think this, but I really do believe that my husband and I knew each other and our children in the pre-existence and wanted to be a forever family and find each other on earth. I think our choices in life led us to each other. I used to pray for whoever and wherever my future husband was and to lead us to each other. Exactly around the same time frame when i was doing this every night for months, my husband was inactive and seriously dating a non-member. He had to make a choice... continue down this path and continue to break the law of chastity, or break up with her and begin to repent and come back to church. He broke up with her, repented, and came back to church. He knew that he did this for his future wife, whoever and wherever she was. He moved with his brother to my ward, and the rest is another long story. I know this doesn't prove anything, but we have been married 14 years and it has always felt like we were so familiar to each other. My children feel so familiar. Like we have always been together, and we are making it eternal by our covenants made here on earth. I feel that some people are lucky enough to find their "companion" and others find someone that they fall in love with and they can make it work and be happy and make their own eternal family. Sometimes our choices in life change who we end up with. Sometimes we just meet a great person and we make our own eternity together. I hope that some people are lucky enough to find that person they wanted to be with when they were in the pre-existence. I know you might think I am deluded, but I just really feel that way about us at least. Do any of you think this is possible?

I am taking it her husband would not want a divorce if she suggested that she was so unhappy she was considering one? With marriage counseling, can't one of the spouses share what they would like to change to make them happier? Maybe she would like to have a courtship again, a little romance...shouldn't he be willing to do that to help improve the marriage? I do not think a marriage of 32 years with no covenants broken should end in divorce. However, I think each deserves to be happy. Will he work on what you would like to change in the marriage? Will you work on what he would like to change? He might be more willing if you shared your thoughts on divorce. Be honest. Don't secretly harbor these thoughts. And like a lot of the advice on here, go to your Heavenly Father and tell him your fears and unhappiness and what you should do. Ask to soften you and your husband's hearts.

yjacket, are you married? I wonder because when you meet the right person, its right. And they want to make it to the temple. So thus fast engagements. Its hard to understand unless you have experienced it. It does seem rash and fast to those on the outside, but once its you, you will understand.

I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 23, and we "knew" we had found our eternal companion within a week. Still, we dated 6 months and were together almost everyday. We were going to wait 4 more months, but we wanted to make it to the temple...

My twin sister met a returned missionary right after his mission and they got engaged in one day. Its been pretty rough, rougher than it would have been had they waited (well, she to wait to get him off his mission high), but I think they are going to make it. 5 years and 2 kids so far...

If they would have "watched their step" The new mormon messages video. Love this.

Yea, and who isn't going to know who she is? Seriously, how in the world is she going to get a job anywhere? I certainly don't want Casey Anthony serving my french fries. :)

I've been a member all my life, but still have a vague understanding of things we will be doing after this life. I know depending on how you live here on earth, we will be either in the Celestial, Telestial, or Terrestrial Kingdoms, and those will afford you "privileges" over the others. I was asking my husband if we will get to make love in heaven or in the millennium when we are reunited with our bodies, or if I will get to have more children (we are done in this earthly life at least). Will the millennium be vastly different then the rest of eternity? I know we need to finish up things on earth, make sure everyone has had the fullness of the gospel and temple ordinances completed. I know the earth will be returned to its celestial state, and I wonder how beautiful that will be. I am sure we can only imagine...I am hoping nothing over 80 degrees -joking- (just because I live in Missouri and its currently 100+ today) no bugs, all animals in peace with one another, and we get to eat whatever we want and not get fat (joking, kind of...) Besides being kings and queens of our own worlds (whatever THAT really means) that is the max of my knowledge. Does anyone have any of their own knowledge of these things they would like to share? What do you think does and will go on in our next life?

Thanks everyone! I am leaning towards the Venetian (the Italian one) because it has everything I am looking for. And, yes, the one show I have to see is one of the Cirque Du Soleil's!

Oh, I am looking for time to relax by a pool, shows, shopping, and good food.

So we decided to be crazy and go to Vegas for our 14th Wedding Anniversary next month. I am searching like crazy over the internet trying to find out where to stay, what to do, and the choices are endless! Does anyone know where to stay and what to do that would be good for a young couple (early 30s), we are not bringing kids (yea!), and we obviously don't drink or gamble. It seems if I stray away from a family hotel (don't want loads of kids everywhere), I am left with party/gamble hotels. any advice would be awesome! Thanks!

I read your posts and just tried to imagine how I would feel, and truthfully, I can't! I hurt just trying to imagine how you are feeling. I see and agree with you saying that if it was one of those things that he "accidentally" fell into and Satan got his grips on him and he didn't know how to get out of it, it is one thing. But lying and finding out that he was actually looking for it is another. I have been married for 14 years (5 kids) and it would take a lot for me to give up on what we have built together, and once I thought adultery was absolutely unforgivable, but now I see why I would try so hard to keep what we have together to make it to eternity. (Now, luckily we have not had anything close to that issue, but I do think of what I would do if we did) The way that it kept going on and he went looking for it is scary. I don't know how I could be with him again sexually after he decided he wants that instead. Only you and HF can decide, and only you can tell as his wife if he really is broken about the whole thing and wants eternity with you. If he is completely in despair and will do anything to keep your marriage, that is a good thing, but can you get over the hurt (yes, with HF help), and forgive and trust him to be faithful. Hard to tell when you thought you knew your husband before, but as of right now, what do you see in his eyes? Despair and grief, and you can still see who you love in there who only wants to be with you forver, or is this someone different now who you aren't sure can get over this "habit"?

I find it hypocritical to say you felt uncomfortable at her church when you don't show her that you attend your own. The spirit was practically yelling at you that you were in a bad place? Can you not hear it whisper that He wants you to be in the right place (i.e. attending sacrament). Even if you are doing things that make you feel like you shouldn't go, He wants you there, and I know the spirit is telling you that.

Why are we all thinking that lingerie is somehow bad or leads to "weird" things? Some women like them, some don't. My husband and I don't use them all the time; you know how when you make love there are different "moods" that they follow? The "I love you" kind that is sweet and loving and you just need each other, sometimes you just want skin to skin, and then there's "i want you" kind where I want to feel extra sexy and I put something on. He appreciates it, and tells me so.

Ok guys, I put on lingerie for my husband all the time. Thongs, lacy underwear, whatever he or I like. I put it on without garments, and then after we are done, I put my garments back on to sleep.

I can only say I feel for you for just being the Primary Chorister. I am talented at a lot of things, but that calling was the hardest calling I have ever had and thankfully they took me out after a few months! It is very hard to get them to learn the songs while having fun, not being repetitive, boring; all while keeping them calm and collected. I felt like an idiot too. :) Not my thing. I think you are amazing for faithfully doing your best at that calling. Say poo-poo on their way of "helping" you and know that you are doing your best at a difficult calling while being a busy mother and wife. :)

Hmmm, I am not sure if I am right on this, but I don't think BYU has nude art classes...I wouldn't want to see a future missionary or a future mother and wife posing nude. Don't flame me, I see the appreciation for the nude artform, just not at BYU, or by those intending to remain chaste and virtuous.

My naive and romantic inclinations tend to lead me to think he was married to Mary. She was his best friend, and who was the first person who he appeared to after his death? Mary, who was weeping next to his empty tomb. I just like to think so. :)

Thank you pam, and thanks for the replies everyone...except for fascism...wow.

Putting this out there for enlightenment: I am not under the false impression that being gay hasn't been around since the beginning of man, but it does seem to be much, much, more common now. Do you think besides the small percentage of people who are born with same gender attraction that this is more of a lifestyle choice? Like for some women it is easier to have the friendship and safety of a woman companion? I really don't understand the part for men, but they certainly escape the marriage and children aspect (usually). Ok, go, enlighten me. (Oh, and I do have a close gay guy friend, that I used to date in High School actually, and he came out after H. S. and I am under the impression that his may have turned into a "choice" of sorts for him) Thanks!

I just found out that my husband's brother's wife left him the other day. They have been married for 12 years and she had two children when they met and they had one together. They have been sealed in the temple, and she is leaving and there has been no infidelity or broken covenants. He wants to work things out, she is just leaving. She says it is completely over and he was convenient at the time because she was scared and single with two kids and he rescued her. My sister and her husband are separated. I am not going to try to explain what is wrong with both, but it just brought to light how common it is becoming for families to fall apart. It seems that my age group (30 somethings) really struggles to keep marriages in-tact. I am so grateful that after 14 years and 5 children that my husband and I are so in love and have made it through some very hard times together. It hasn't been all peaches and cream, but I cannot imagine ever leaving him and being able to build what we have built together. I have had his children, and have the scars to prove it. Only he sees me in our most intimate moments, and I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father made him for me and me for him. I would never, ever, want to share that with anyone else. Do you think these people fall in love, get married, have children, start having money problems, finish having children and when they get a chance to breathe they realize that they don't love the other person anymore? When it does not involve adultery or anything covenant breaking, what do you think happens? My brother in law even said to his wife that she is breaking the hearts of her children (13, 12, and 10), and she still doesn't want to work things out. I used to think in early marriage that if a husband cheats on a wife, it should be over immediately! Now, after everything we have built together, I can see how important it is to keep your marriage together even through something as horrible as adultery. Do you think lds members are taking sealings less seriously than we should? Just wondering, and sad for these families. Thanks for the discussion!

I love this thread! I have fallen in love with the 2005 version; it was beautifully done.