NightSG

Quit. Lay around the house, and tell her you found plenty of examples of men who don't work, and do just fine on welfare.

So you're saying this board is mostly populated by non-people? That explains a lot.

For the same reason I would assume that John the Baptist didn't give a 3 hour speech and overhaul Jesus's bicycle as a part of the baptism; people (and deities) tend to be long winded when it comes to Scripture, and at least do the Tolkien thing of mentioning interesting bits,even if they immediately follow them with half a page of "but that's not important right now, so in the interest of brevity..." My cousin is a pediatrician fluent in Spanish, with experience in mountain biking, desert camping and improvising when necessary to provide the best possible treatment. When her church wanted to do a relief mission in a very remote part of Mexico, nobody had any illusions that there was anyone around with a more ideal skillset than hers, but she wasn't approached about it; the details were posted and she went to the pastor to volunteer. The fact that there was nobody else who could get to the remote villages around the primary site and meet their medical needs doesn't mean that she didn't volunteer. They probably had her in mind when they were writing up the descriptions of needed positions, but she still had the option of not raising her hand. Had she said no, there likely would be a few more graves in the desert today, but no one would have pressured her or tried to guilt her into doing it. Now she organizes an annual return to that community, and with her husband, has helped them build a clinic, obtain a generator and electric pump for the main community's well and arrange for regular fuel deliveries. Had it been by the LDS method of callings, she likely would have finished the first trip and said "I've done what I was told to do, and now I'm done with it." Could Christ have simply decided not to speak up? If He couldn't, then where is the virtue in going along with the Plan? We would be screwed, but to deny His agency would mean there was no point involving Him in any counsel. I don't ask or consider my alarm clock's opinion of whether it should wake me up in time for work.

Ok, so from where are you inferring that Lucifer kicked in the door during a closed meeting to add his "here am I, send me?" Not relevant to whether He volunteered. Still not relevant. Wanna guess what this also isn't? Whether they arm wrestled over who got the coolest Earthly names isn't really at issue. One would think they'd mention a premortal Woodstock somewhere in Scripture. It would certainly be more inspiring than a good chunk of the minor prophets. Certainly there was an opportunity for everybody to point at whoever they wanted to get rid of for a while, but if it happened, there's no indication that anyone considered it useful. They're all #1 now, thanks to insufficient software testing. You've read the book, right? It's clear the the author would have welcomed an opportunity to ramble on about how Ed, the Prince of Dampness, Betty Sue, the Duchess of Awkward Moments, Derp, the Author of this Forum Software and Milo, the Undersecretary of Cowardice also piped up, so it's safe to say, at least, that no such information was deemed relevant enough to pass on.

"Old fashioned" and "upbeat" are not mutually exclusive. Well, OK, outside of the LDS pianist/organist circle, they're not. Allegro is not a dirty word, nor is embellishment. 1887: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrJ3WKNeeRA 1929: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVfhs3tU3ng (this one might risk waking up the HPs) 1892: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy3CdRmDWVY 1897: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DlvVx5kKuk (and that might be as much hairspray as a small RS meeting) Can they do those outside of Colorado and Washington?

No Pentecostals in the immediate family, so you'll have to ask pc if you need a recipe.

Unfortunately, it's apparently all concentrated in about three or four people, leaving the rest to alienate virtually everyone they meet. I grew up in a pretty denominationally diverse family; on my dad's side, if it's got Baptist in the name, there's probably at least one within second cousins, while on mom's side, it's just the opposite. Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Episcopal, Catholic, CoC and DoC just among the ones that show up for Thanksgiving dinner. I was raised Methodist, but there aren't many churches in the county that I haven't been to at least one service in. Yet I've found very few LDS who didn't at some point decide to teach me all about the wrongness of some Methodist belief I'd never heard of. Some of them made the "things people think Mormons believe" list look pretty tame by comparison.

Following advice without question or pause is by definition blindly following. Wishing otherwise doesn't make it so.

No, it's about your belief that we're to blindly follow any advice given by a bishop because they speak only the True Word of God at all times with no human fallibility. Even the one that told me I should "be creative" about stating my income on a couple of tax forms.

Of course, because a bishop, being a creature of pure holiness, no longer has personal opinions. Amazing how the Church has grown so strong that even local leadership now transcends Joseph Smith's "I am subject to like passions as other men, like the prophets of olden times," and can thus be certain that any random thought that enters their minds can only be the true Word of God.

Obedience to your bishop's personal preferences that have no Gospel foundation. Yet another case of culture overriding any meaningful principle.

Putting on the belt, like bowing to the mat (or at the front door) is a reminder to put the day's anger and stresses aside, so you don't accidentally take them out on your uke. Plus it lets guys like me know how much pain we get to cause you and what kind of throws we can use on you. After all, if you're higher ranked than me, it's your own responsibility not to let me hurt you too badly. Sounds like you're still in a pretty limited crowd. Look at Melania Trump; she frequently wears pantsuits, though I suspect some of that is just showing off how much better she is at it than Hillary ever was. And I'm betting other than some clearly fashion-incompetent types, those men aren't showing up in short sleeve "dress" shirts. That's the equivalent of a too-short clip-on tie: wearing it to Church is basically saying "well, Jesus only suffered and died for me - nothing worth my being infinitesimally less comfortable at having to wear a few more square inches of the flimsiest cotton broadcloth known to mankind in an air conditioned building, or taking fifteen seconds to tie a real tie." Unless you're talking about a leopard print microskirt that shows off "made ya look" print panties, a short sleeve "dress" shirt is far tackier. So in other words, he was driven to conform to a cultural expectation that has no foundation in the Gospel by peer pressure rather than obedience of any sort. Really not something to be proud of. Making someone uncomfortable, causing them to feel unwelcome at Church is often equally effective, and of course, includes the all-important element of plausible deniability.

Probably just hiding from His home teachers.

Well, it seems men are allowed creative interpretations like short sleeves and no jacket, while women are held to the full-but-redefined-as-needed standard.

Fake, or just so true it can only be published as satire? http://babylonbee.com/news/man-feels-led-things-coincidentally-likes/ http://babylonbee.com/news/federal-agents-unable-find-sound-doctrine-benny-hinns-offices/ http://babylonbee.com/news/man-receives-gift-tongues-stubbing-toe/ (The witness when I got hit by a truck swears he heard fluent and situationally accurate Czech profanity while I was in the air. I don't think I'd even recognize three words of Czech.) And, of course... http://babylonbee.com/news/sad-mormon-missionary-just-realized-hes-riding-stationary-bike-two-years/

Careful; talk like that will have you called to work the complaints department. Eternity of listening to JAG rant about the lack of things to rant about.

http://babylonbee.com/news/family-enjoys-lone-sunday-of-year-they-actually-have-good-excuse-for-being-late-to-church/ I got the chance to point out to my former Scoutmaster that even though "punctual" isn't in the Scout Law, it's implied by (at least) trustworthy, obedient and reverent.

In a long term outage like that, you're much better off conserving fuel for other things. Past about a week, I'd be planning to finish off everything refrigerated ASAP, and save generator fuel to run a well pump, communications, etc.

As in, don't even get it on your lips. Probably not actually toxic, but it takes forever to get rid of the taste and the odd feeling. Spring for the smallest bottle of the good stuff. (April Fresh Downy) It'll last a year or more and smell better. And now back to the real world, Mitsugi Saotome, Morihei Ueshiba, Jigoro Kano, Kyuzo Mifune, among others. Really? Everything I've been to that was formal enough for the women to dress up that much, men were expected to be in tuxedos, or at least much more formal suits than anyone I know wears to church on any sort of regular basis. Heck, I sometimes get funny looks because one of my best fitting suits is double breasted and looks substantially more formal than any of the other men. (And a heck of a lot sharper in general, but that's just because it's on me.)

McDonald's, obviously. We can share a 4pc McNuggets and feed Sudan on the leftovers.

Uh...that really should have been in the freezer rather than the basement, most likely. OTOH, what good is more than about a week of frozen food storage? If you can't get food, there's a good chance electricity won't be reliable either.

Formal kilt? Semi-formal kilt? Kimono? Sarong? Tupenu? Knee length tunic? Plenty of cultures have other things besides pants for men.

Have you talked to your bishop about this? How can you expect to be accepted by the Lord if you don't learn to be a sanctimonious twit?

Hoppes Number 9 gun cleaner. Also helps prevent carbon buildup. (And oddly, is one of the harshest things on the planet that doesn't irritate my skin in the least.)

Not sure how well it will work on coarser hair, but I've had good luck with (just a tiny bit of) Downy fabric softener. Sort of an accidental discovery one day when I was out of conditioner and couldn't get my hair to cooperate, then later tried it on my beard with good results. DO NOT GET IT IN YOUR MOUTH. Work in a few drops, then wipe a time or two with a damp cloth to make sure there's no excess left.