Jane_Doe

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Everything posted by Jane_Doe

  1. Pornography is a nasty addictive habit. Truly stopping it by oneself is EXTREMELY difficult and I would say only happens in <5% of cases. That's why a help network (including the bishop) exists: to make give support and greatly improve chances of successfully stopping. The sooner someone gets help, the less difficult it is to stop-- that's why people say "go right away". I know it takes a mountain of humility for someone to admit they have a problem and need help. It is hard- there ain't anything easy about addiction. But acknowledging the problem is the first step to fixing it. As to church discipline- I assure you that he is not the first RM to come to your bishop with porn problems. The fact that you haven't heard of any mass hysteria about such RM's is because such matters (and all discipline) are handled very privately: the purpose is NOT to publicly shame, but to AIDE in healing. If he wants to work through this addiction, he will NOT be excommunicated- why would the Lord kick someone trying to heal out of His house? Worse thing I could see happening is your friend might be asked to not pass the sacrament for a few weeks and lose his temple recommend. Such things, known as "disfellowshipping", are to remind him of the sacrament's/temple's/atonement's importance, and are only temporary. God (and the bishop) want your friend to Heal, to overcome this, and to be a righteous worker in His kingdom. Always remember that.
  2. If your goal was/is to be sealed in the temple, I see no reason why that would need to change if you had a civil marriage first. Yes, your actions have resulted the road you're traveling to that goal not being the fastest, but mistakes are part of this life. Being civily married to this man will not stop you from being sealed to him. I wouldn't let an stigma (ie, unrightous judgements of others) factor into your decision to do what you feel is right.
  3. Today is what church members call "General Conference". Rather than having sermons given at the congregation level (as most Sundays are), this weekend church leaders addressed the entire church worldwide, made possible via satellite/internet. It's an event that happens every 6 months. If you're interested in seeing yourself, the broadcast is available here: Watch Live
  4. Maybe turn the question around: "is the true faith somewhere else? Should I look somewhere else?"
  5. The reason why I pray during quiet time, without any distractions around, is so I can best quiet *myself* and better listen to God. That's when I feel I can trust those feelings and discern whether they really are from me or God: I know what my 'voice' sounds like, and overtime I've gotten better (but far from perfect) are reckonizing what God's voice feels like.
  6. Did you have a specific question in mind? Those typically work best.
  7. Ok, so you asked. What type of answer are you looking for? Personally, I get my best answers when I pray by myself, quietly, during my "Me" time. Words don't have to be fancy, or even nessarily spoken out loud, but the emotion behind it is sincere. After I ask, I take some more "Me" time to do something quiet, and listen for a while. Sometime I'll get an answer right away, sometime it's a few days before I get there (God is patient person). Answers don't come like someone blasting a megaphone in your ear (not normally, anways), but more subtle. To me, it's that sense of peace, pulling in particular direction. The closet thing I can think to compare it to is those times I am lost, and need to take a minute to collect myself, and then have this gentle feeling that "Oh, that's the way I need to go"
  8. You're quite welcome. Personally, I am quite enjoying this conversation. You seem to be wondering why you have never had a deep answer from God. Have you tried asking? If you haven't, that doesn't make you evil-- far from it!! In my experience, people get so busy with life and doing what everyone tells them, that most people forget to ask the big "Why?" The fact that you are doing so tonight shows courage, insight, and true yearning to know God. I admire you.
  9. I have visited several Kingdom Halls over the years, listened to thier lessons, and spoken individually with many Witnesses. Hmmmm, I welcome you to the forum and admire your courage to seek answers. In my experience, true Answers don't come from history books, or someone else babbling at you. Answers come from searching, seeking, and knocking. If you truly want to know something, then ask God.
  10. Hmmm..., your profile says that you are a Christain. What of history makes you believe in Christ? Personally, I don't find my faith in the Savior from history. I just don't care about some anthropoligist inturpertation of a bunch of Mid-Eastern rocks (for example). I believe in the Savior for the impact I feel He has in my life, and the comfort that gives me. Simileraly, I don't care about any American rocks (or lack thereof) to find my faith in the Book of Mormon and how it testifies of Him. I find faith in prayer, in comfort, and how I can palpably feel Him.
  11. If you live in an area with a lot of college kids in it, chances are that people are regularly moving in and out, so your YSA bishop will be used to meeting need people and probably grateful that you arranged that first step of coming to meet him.
  12. Go and introduce yourself to the Bishop and ward. Attend an institute class (if that's an option). You know you want to talk to people, you know where they all, so go get them! :). (Speaking as a person who moves constantly, it is best to be proactive in meeting people rather then waiting for them to stumble upon you).
  13. Today at church, we had a youth speaker (13?) whom had very diligently prepared a fantastic written talk about his favorite teaching of Christ (the prodigal son). He was obviously very intimidated to be up on the stand, looked at his paper 95% of the time, and blushed deep red because he could not pronounce "prodigal" properly. But he was there, speaking and surmounting his fears, and saying how much he loved his big brother (whom was departing on a mission). I loved this young man's talk: he had obviously pored his soul into it and the meaning touched me. What I would love is if we (his ward collectively) could help nurture his sweet spirit. Obviously, the primary goal be that this young man's testimony grow stronger, but it would also be wonderful if we as a ward could teach him better how to communicate his testimony, that he can better share his light with the rest of the world when he leaves on his own mission (and the many years to come). It is not our place to judge our fellow man, but we should help our fellow men in the areas they find difficult, including expressing their love of Christ. I think that would be very noble, and one that we often overlooked.
  14. It's not about saying "Christ" to be validated in someone else's eyes. It's about whether or not we talk of Christ, whether we rejoice in Christ, whether we preach of Christ, whether we prophesy of Christ, and whether we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. That is the big goal. Talking about tithing or such things is fine, but those are secondary things which exist to point us towards Christ and we should never loose sight of that. Going to church and never talking about Christ (other than in passing) is like going to some kid's birthday party, and spending the entire time just talking about doing the dishes: you missed the entire point of why you're there! (lol mnn, I was typing the same time you were)
  15. In regards to dealing with other people: I hear other people's words about being there for others, and they've caused me to do some serious re-thinking about a lot of social interactions. A special thanks to Martain. About my own growth and Misshalfway's comment: it's not "nerds" that bother me but... when every activity feels like sitting in Junior primary again. I've already been here, listened many times before. I question the value of sitting in a class where I can recite the lesson word-for-word before the teacher even stands up. That is when I feel empty and spiritually stunted. I want more- to learn deeper. Honestly, Misshalfway, I don't know if I spiritually benefit from being present in such settings.
  16. That is true, but I'm not around long enough to get to know people's backstory's. At most I talk to people for maybe 10 minutes before moving on.
  17. JAG, thank you for your reply. Might I ask: what is the reward for dealing with annoying people? (I ask honestly, not trying to be a smart-alick).
  18. Estradling75, I understand where you're coming from, and I do feel very selfish with my attitude. Works requires that I move frequently: I will usually only be able to attend a ward 10 times before packing boxes again. So regrettably I have little opportunity to know any ward or serve any callings. I do my best to serve family and friends (mostly non-members), but at church... it usually doesn't work. And I do need to tend to my own spiritual well-being. If I don't go to church, I spend the time with my non-member family. That I do get a lot out of.
  19. Hi all, I believe in be honest and true, so be forewarned: this is a blunt and long post. I believe in Christ and resonate strongly with Mormon doctrine, ie I don’t have any testimony issues. However, I am increasingly frustrated with physically attending church activities. I can’t go every week, and when I do ditch work and family activities to attend… I leave the church building very frustrated. I do not attend church to have a social hour—I’m always moving and am demotivated to be ‘friends’ with someone I will never see again. Rather, I come to God’s house to lean on the spirit, to hear His words. While I’m not interested in friendships, I enjoy listening to other people’s insights and sharing my own. But… speakers are… empty. They do not speak of with the spirit and they do not speak of Christ. Rather, they babble on (with horrendous public speaking skills) about where/when they were asked to speak, recount some random story, read off some General Conference talk, and they recite empty age-old platitudes devoid of any real heart. Frankly, I find their words un-studied, smiles fake, and hearts seem empty. It fills me with frustration, evolving over time anger to anger and bitterness. Why I am here, listening to this? Why did come here, when this does not bring me closer to God? Majority of weeks the only way I can force myself to stay during sacrament is to completely ignore the speakers and just read my scriptures. But again, why did I bother to come if it was just to read my scriptures? I do that far better at home in front of computer screen (I’m a child of the digital age). I’ve been dealing with these emotions for a while, trying to keep a positive attitude and moving forwards. They are building a temple in my home city—I’ve been looking so forward to the groundbreaking for months. Today was the long anticipated big day… and it was 56 minutes before they ever talked about Christ—at a dedication for the House of the Lord, by the Church of Jesus Christ!!! They… they so miss the entire point. I’m struggling to express my frustrations/heart-break here. I don’t know what to do Why do I bother physically attending church? Why should I talk to anyone? I can’t change the world, I can only change myself, which is best done on private on my knees. Why… just why…?
  20. You could always black-out the names of the victims (no one would argue).
  21. My best friend was once engaged to a person, whom I knew to be a child molester. I also know he had told her the “truth” of what happened. His account was total BS, but my friend wished to believe it. If I spoke up against this man and told her what I had seen, I knew my friend would reject me for spreading such 'lies' and ‘slander’. That fear of rejection kept my mouth shut for 2 years, until I simply could not live with it anymore-- I felt that our ‘friendship’ had degraded to nothing more than a façade based on my silence and her willful blindness. Eventually, I did tell her, circumvent over an email (a mythology I regret, I should have had the guts to tell her in person). She refused to believe me and was ordered by her now husband to cut off all contact with me. She complied completely, and I cried many nights. Years later, she and I have not spoken. The two of them are still together, my words did nothing to even phase her trust in him. Regardless, I am glad I spoke up: I was truthful to myself and what I knew, and that is the best life I can live. What she does is forever up to her, not me. What you do is up to you. If you do decide to tell your friend, make sure that it is what you want 300%. Speak to her honestly, telling her what you know and freely admitting what you don’t know. I personally feel a court transcript or other evidence will be very useful to have. Realize that this man is a man your friend knows and trusts, and she may very well not believe you—such is her God given right. Even if she does believe you, she may choose to not change anything.
  22. Are you a young single adult? Option 1: Many wards/institutes keep bulletin boards with people looking for roommates. Option 2: The relief society president would be a good person to ask (she usually has a feel for that type of thing). Option 3: Ask around. Option 4: Modern-day asking around by sending emails on the ward list.
  23. Unlike many other Christian denominations, Mormons don’t walk up to the podium for sarement (ie communion). Instead, members pass little trays with the bread and water to one another. There’s usually 6-8 trays going around and it’s a time of personal meditation. I’ve never noticed if someone does or does not take bread/water before passing the tray—I’m focusing on God and his sacrifice. Taking the sacrament (or not) is a very personal thing, and I feel it would be very shameful to stare at people and gossip “oh they didn’t take the sacrament!” Besides, there are other reasons for not taking the sacrament: many of the non-Mormon guests I’ve brought don’t feel comfortable partaking of rituals outside their own denominations.
  24. A bishop is there to help you on your journey to Christ. When there is a major sin committed (ie, one too large to overcome by ourselves), the bishop is there to guide you through the repentance process, like a consular. He provides insight and reassurance. If a judgment needs to be made (like when someone else was hurt) he will lead that. A Mormon bishop does NOT actually give the forgiveness for sins—only God may do that. In that area, it does differ from Catholic confession in that regard (correct me if I’m misunderstanding Catholic traditions).