Jane_Doe

Hello NextElement and welcome to the forum! My 2 cent answers to your questions: As the Bible says, judge them by thier fruits (Matthew 7). I believe the Book of Mormon to be an inspired scripture, so a beleif in Joseph Smith comes along with it. Now, do I think everything Joseph did was inspired or perfect? Heck no!! There's only been on perfect man on this earth, and his name's Jesus. Speaking just as myself, I don't know and really don't care. I've never found God is a pile of old bricks, or scraps of pottery, either in the Americas or Middle East. Even if I could know 200% some dude name Jesus lived at this house, it wouldn't prove that he was the Son of God or rose from the dead. I just don't feel the need for such 'proof'. Rather, my my relationship with God is derived from reading His words and openning my heart up to him in prayer. My favorites are Amos 3:7 ("Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets"), and the books of Isiah and Revelations which make many references to phrophets proclaiming the Word in the last days. There are others too-- feel free to ask if you want more. Question for you: what verses would you use to say that Jesus was the last of the prophets? I've heard non-LDS sources say John 19:30 ("It is finished"), but to me that verse has always resenated as "it" = His suffering, since He died right afterwards. Obviously His work wasn't done, because He came back, taught the people many things, and is coming back again. Other posters have already nailed this one. Useful officail answer: https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god 1) LDS services don't have a rock band so don't expect one ;P. This probably isn't a big deal for someone of Catholic background, but I have many non-denomational friends who honestly don't feel like it's church without an electric guitar. Rather, LDS services are of the philiosphy that God speaks with a quiet reverant voice, so they try to emulate that. 2) There will be screaming babies. While LDS try to be revent while worshiping God, worship is a family event so there are babies and kids... and they can only be kept so quiet. 3) On a more serious note, keep an open heart and mind, I've attended services at many churches (Christain and not), and even though I've never converted to any of them, I've always learned something about them, myself, and God. 4) If you want to know the logistics of a Mormon church service, this is a really good link:

I like her a lot too! I would follow her lead and take this guy seriously: put the effort in to get to know him well. But I won't start picking out wedding outfits just yet.

Speaking as someone who just bought a house and had a baby, I would stay at Grandma's (if it's not mentally/emotionally taxing). Logic being: 1) Grandma's are great for baby's and they love them. If you have a good relationship with her, why not let her help out. 2) Setting up a new house is VERY expensive even after the downpayment. I was amazed on how much husband and I spent on curtains, repairs, and other very nessecarry improvement. It's also taxing on my very limited energy (newborns are exhausting). 3) Once you're debt free, you can save up for that down payment so much more effeicant. Ideally, I'd recommend 20% downpayment. If you pay less than 20%, they make you buy "mortgage insurance" which pretty much entails hunderd(s) more on each payment. This fee exists solely for the bank's benifit and will stay for the entire length of the mortgage. 4) It is not mooching off of grandma if you're actually saving money each month for the house, so you don't have to be concerned about pride-issues.

I actually live in WY, so if you're wanting to come here I can tell you all the best places. (Yellowstone is totally awesome).

I think it is a point of maturity when one realizes that they don't a;ways "need to get the last word" in. Good for you.

We were going to do it at my parent's house on a Friday night, just because that's when everyone could make it. I'm just nervous about non-member questions/thoughts, particularly from my very Baptist mother-in-law.

Does anyone have experience conducting a baby blessing with a part-member family? My (non-member) husband and I are having our little girl blessed this weekend at my parents, and his baptist/aitheist family wants to come. Of course they are welcome, I was just wondering that other people's experiences were.

Jezzabella, My entire family snores, down to my 5 week old daughter. When it's Thanksgiving and all the uncles fall into turkey-coma, you can literally here the snoring from outside. And my husband is one of the worst of them. I have a separate bedroom to sleep soundly in, as do 6 of my aunts in the homes. The is ZERO shame in taking steps to get the rest you need, and having you well rested will help you and your marriage. Additionally, sleeping in separate beds has been shown to improve marriages, even when one partner isn't a snorer (Sharing a bed is bad for your health: Want the dream marriage? Then sleep in separate beds | Mail Online).

My husband isn't a member and we're both very happy :). Our little baby is being blessed by her grandpa next week. Being married to a non-member and being very happy is quite possible. Even before we started dating, my future-husband understood me better than any Mormon guy remotely did. However, it does take some spiritual fortitude to get up every Sunday to go to church while he sleeps in.

Some general comments--- The fact that you have formally have your Associate’s degree makes transferring to any other school a lot easier. Typically an Associate’s degree is treated like a certification at another college: you’ve studied and now this area is ‘done’. This differs from just transferring without a formal degree- in which case your credits are viewed as unfinished, debatable, and even expire after a certain time. Because a lot of people go to Weber State then BYU, I believe the two schools have a transfer agreement: somebody already connected the dots as to what at Weber means what at BYU. Your counseling office should know about it. Also, you can apply to BYU now and then “defer” your secured seat until after you get back from Germany (such as become the norm for freshman guys). I attended BYU-Idaho, and had friends which got AS at schools in Arizona and Utah before coming to Idaho. While these weren’t church schools, there was a high Mormon population, and it wasn’t a huge transition from my friends (besides the hassle of learning a new bureaucratic system). Personally, I left BYU-Idaho for a public school in Colorado, and that was VERY different. No one in Colorado had even heard of BYU-Idaho. The culture was very different: BYU had group hymn singing every night, Colorado had drunken riots. Hope that helps!

Society seems to see crimes (and their restitution) as the perpetrator owes this victim—and you’re either on one side of the other. I’m not sure God sees it that way. I see Christ as the Great Mediator, through the atonement He steps in between the perpetrator and victim. If the victim will accept His help, He offers refuge, healing, and the knowledge/way that things will be made right. If the perpetrator will accept his help, Christ offers the same: refuge, healing, and the way things can be made right. It’s not help one or the other: Christ helps both, and we should try to do likewise.

You are wise to take the RS pres-- a third party mediator will be a good thing. As others said, be sure to pray and stand up for yourself.

How did you to become roommates? If you're in a dorm situation, you can ask the RA's for roommate change (I've done that). If she's sub-leasing from you, kick her out. If you're sub-leasing from her, find someone to take over you lease and get out. (I've also done this). If you co-leasing (ie, signed a lease together) things are more complicated. You could wait until the lease is over and then leave, or have someone take over your half of the lease (I've also done this). Those are options for getting out. In the meantime you need to protect yourself/stuff physically and emotionally. Frankly, being roommates is a business arrangement-- she is not your BFF. As long as you are not violating the lease agreement, she is NOT entitled to tell you how to run your life , or that you have to care what she thinks. If she gets into your stuff, get locks. She badmouths you, don't listen. You do NOT need to hang out with her, have her approval, or even talk to her. If she becomes threatening to you or your property, then that IS a lease violation, and you are perfectly within your rights to call the cops. (And you SHOULD call the cops if she's going to hurt you).

Like so many others, my spouse had previous relationships before me. I don’t find that fact uncomfortable, because I know he is mine now 200%. I like a song by Reliant K “My girl friend’s ex-boyfriend”: “If it wasn't for him I would still be searching If it wasn't for him I wouldn't know my best friend If it wasn't for him He would be able to see If it wasn't for him He would be as happy as me I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend”

I have a sister whom is prone to hold grudges. Working with her has taught me a few things. When things are going down, I try to be very reasonable and fair to include her and honor her wishes. I like to think that I (most times) do this well. Sometimes her requests are not something I can reasonably accommodate (or she’s just being impossible to please). When this happens, I ask myself “Did I do my best and most fair?” If the answer is yes, then I did my best, so there’s no point in beating myself up about it. If she is choosing to hold a grudge, that’s her issue and not mine. When my sister does hold the same grudges over years… they eat at her and become this infested mess. Even if I directly address the complaint, doing exactly as she wants, it still doesn’t heal the infection. Healing that infection is much more complicated, and often involves her self-esteem being damaged: she feels cast out for some reason so she is unhappy (you mentioned your sister was having marital problems). Obviously, the best healing for the hurt your sister is feeling would be to go to the Master Healer. But her decision to let Him heal her is not your choice. The (only) thing YOU can do is to show her Christ-like love. If she is upset, listen to her. If she has a problem, listen to her. If she is happy, listen to her. Listening to her concerns does not involve changing your beliefs (and it’s unfair for her to ask you to), but it does allow her to express herself and be validated that way. If she is not ready to talk about what’s bothering her, then don’t push the issue— Christ doesn’t force anyone to come to Him, and neither should we.

I watched that skit, it's ok. After living at BYU as a student, I came away thinking the movie "The Singles Ward" encapsulates Provo the best. Granted, the movie is a little dated now (txts have replaced beepers, for example).

By all means, go ahead and wear the cross if it reminds you to walk with God. Just because it's not a Utah cultural thing, doesn't mean it can't be your choice. As to having it blessed, I admit I've never understood the Catholic tradition of having an object "blessed". Could you explain it perhaps?

I too despise reading out loud, especially in public. In Relief Society, it's common for them to hand out readings to encourage class participation. Rather than taking a reading, I just pass them along and let someone else read it. I don't think that this has ever bothered anyone, and makes the meeting much more enjoyable for me.

I would agree that it that the get-married-at-19-stay-at-home-birth-7-kids stereotype gets a lot of attention, both culturally and over the pulpit. Personally, I do find it irritating at points, feeling that it's a human obsession with just 1 of MANY ways there are to be a woman of God. Women have the Gold-like potential to be phenomenal nurtures. Note: nurture does NOT equal reproductive machine. Consider the following: 1) If all a lady were to do was gestate a baby for 9 months, and then drop the child off on a street corner, who much of a nurturer is she? Not very much. (Note: I’m not dissing ladies who give kids up for adoption—that’s a separate domain). 2) A woman who picks the child up, and despite not being biologically related to them, she pores her heart into raising that child: showing what it’s like to be a good person, and to love God. I would say that that person is a great nurturer. 3) Say a lady doesn’t have a kid at home. But she loves her nieces, she works in primary, helping all those children learn about God and be better people. Despite not having legal custody of these children, she inspires them and stands as a witness of Christ in all times and in all places. I would say that she’s a great nurturer. 4) Hint: not all children are less than 18 years old. We are ALL children- the children of God. No matter if you 5, 50, or 500, we are all infants compared to His development. We all need to be nurturered (physically, emotionally, spiritually) to learn how to be better people and to love God. Women are PHENOMENAL at this! You ever notice how it’s the Releif Society’s primary duty to give support, visit the sick, and bring joy to those in need? All those “Christian” duties? It ain’t a small or unimportant work order. Empathy, love, charity, long suffering, that is what it takes to be a nurturer: to raise up the hearts of humanity, regardless of whether their age, circumstances, or biological relationship to you. THAT is what it is to be a woman of God. And your potential to be this person is not dependent on any one else (including a husband).

That would possibly make sense- if they two types of families didn't live on the same street. (Not that house size is nessary true indicator of wealth).

When I was in the babysitting business (~10 yrs ago) it struck me the very different expectations people had for a 'babysitter'. I treated it as my business: a usual gig was I walked to your house, brought new board/creative games for the kids to play, cooked dinner, fed them, put them to bed, and then cleaned up the entire house until the parents got home. I was also CPR certified. If for some reason I had a scheduling conflict and couldn't make it when you wanted a sitter, I would send one of my 3 sisters (whom provided the same quality service). That's what I expected to do for ~$6 / hr per family (not kid). But sometimes, I would be asked to babysit a family, and they didn't WANT me to do any of that. They fed the kids before I got there, the house was already spotless, the kids were already in pajamas, sitting down in front of movie. All the parents wanted me to do was wait till the movie was finished, and tell the kids to got to bed. Once they were asleep, I was supposed to just and watch a movie myself- for another 3 hours! For this, the parents would pay me $15 / hr. Still baffles me to this day....

There isn't really a 'dress code' to getting baptized. The advice the missionaries gave is mostly practical: hair is easier to manage in a ponytail. While the jumpsuits aren't really see through, it's always best not to wear pokka-doted under clothes when you're getting soaked in public . Rest of everything's up to you. Bring a towel if you want to, no one cares what color your hair scrunchie is. A baptism is a special event, and people do typically where "Sunday best" type outfits, but it's not mandated. Thank you cards are always nice :).

Personally, I am not a fan of the Utah style of dating where you meet, date, and say "I do" in the course of 6 months. (Disclaimer: I mean no offense to anyone from Utah, that is simply where I've observed this trend most commonly). However, I am also not a fan the trend where people 'date' for 6 years and then are 'engaged' for 5. Especially when they start living together 6 months into this relationship, and play-act like a married couple (possibly including children). I personally believe in a middle ground between the two: your parent's probably have some wisdom in believing you should date someone for a while before "I do". What would they define as "a while"? (Personally I like 2 years).

Keep them! Yes, paper records need to be digitized, but you should always keep the originals. You're aiming to preserve family history- not throw it way! Also, original paper copies provide invaluable references when (inevitably) there comes a conflict in what you have recorded and what some distant cousin has. That being said, there's no reason to keep old records just lying around on your desk. For me, I prefer putting them in binders, one binder for each 'branch' of the family tree, 'branch' being defined in some logical way. I personally put all the English ancestors of 'Emma Brown' in one binder, and have another for the ancestors of her husband 'John Jones' from Ireland. Label each binder so someone can figure it out, and then store it in a safe, cool, dry place (like the basement). I don't know of any 'guarantee' from the church. I'm a computer person, so I keep records online, but paper print outs are always nice backups. One thing you don't want is to have records of baptisms done for people X, Y, and Z, and not have them entered into the computer system. This was more common with the old temple cards: people would do a baptism, get is stamped, and then take it home and never type it into the computer. Then, another distant cousin comes along and see "oh this work hasn't been done" and reinvents the wheel. The newer temple system are trying to make this no possible (I'm admittedly out of date in that regard).

Part of being married is having similar finical goals/plans. Agreeing with the post above, I would chat with him and see you two can get on a similar page.