kaydell

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  1. I like the doctrine that you can have faith without your faith being perfect. That a mere desire to believe is a seed of faith that when nurtured can grow into a large tree of faith. Alma 32:26-43 https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/32?lang=eng#25
  2. According to Elder Jeffry R. Holand of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, in a Conference talk that he spoke in October 2013, he has suffered from a mental illness. "Like a Broken Vessel" (October 2013) https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng&media=video#watch=video According to Elder Holland, the latter-day prophet George Albert Smith was a kind and gentle man, yet he had a recurring mental illness as well. Also according to Elder Holland, even the prophet Joseph Smith, Jr. may have sufferened from the metal illness that is now called "Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)". In Joseph Smiths own words he described his mood as going into the "abyss". I accept Elder Holland's words as being true, as I accept him as a prophet, seer, and revelator that all of the members of the First Presidency are and that all of the members of the Quorum of the Twelve are. I respect Elder Holland for being open about his mental illness and for asking us all to show compassion for those who have a health problem as serious as mental illness is. I have a mental illness myself. A lot of people do. I believe that attitudes about mental illness would change if more people were open about their own mental illnesses as Elder Holland was in his conference talk. I have more faith in God and in the LDS Church after hearing Elder Holland's talk. I have more faith that I will be permanently healed in heaven and will be judged by an all-knowing God who can take everything into account.
  3. I understand that part of the reason that plural marriage was practiced back in the early days of the LDS Church was that the Church sent out missionaries all over the world and that they converted more women than men and that all of these women needed LDS husbands. Can somebody confirm this?
  4. I can only imagine my strongest feelings of love, like the love that I have for my family. That's the best thing that I can imagine only stronger love than I have ever felt before.
  5. I have heard that some of the polygamy endorsed by priesthood authority was part of the Church Welfare system back in Brigham Young's day. Widows and children whose father passed away would be supported by a new husband. A successful and financially able man would be called to marry the widow and to provide for her and her children. Maybe this sort of thing would be a case where the first wife would be condemned for saying "no" to her husband accepting his calling to marry another wife because the calling was done by priesthood authority for worthy reasons.
  6. I've been answering questions about Mormon Doctrine on Yahoo Answers and the "Law of Sarah" has been mentioned a couple of times that I've seen. What is the Law of Abraham and what is the Law of Sarah "Law of Sarah" on lds.org https://www.lds.org/search?lang=eng&query=%22Law+of+Sarah%22 Does the Law of Abraham mean that it was OK to have more than one wife and did the law of Sarah mean that the first wife would have to give permission for a man to take a second wife? Is this what the Law of Sarah means?
  7. I was married to my wife, in an LDS Church building, in a ceremony performed by a bishop "for all mortality". My wife is married to her first husband who was tragically killed in an accident and is thought of as an angel by the people who knew him best, so my wife and I cannot be married for time and eternity on earth unless my wife asked for a cancellation of sealing, which I wouldn't ask her to do. I understand that my wife and I can also be married in the Salt Lake Temple but only "for time" and not "for eternity". What would be the benefits of being married for "time" in the temple in addition to being married "for all mortality" in my mom's church building? And what's the difference in the definition of "for time" and "for all mortality" in Mormon Doctrine.
  8. If I were you I would go into therapy myself at LDS Family Services. Bishops are good, but sometimes, in my experience they are uneducated about some things. A therapist is a professional that can understand some things that a bishop usually doesn't. The general authorities have created LDS Family Services to help people that the bishop cannot. If you can afford it, call LDS Family Services and go into therapy. If you can't afford it, call LDS Family Services and get an idea of what they offer and then go to your bishop and get a bishop's authorization to help pay for therapy. You can't reason with obsessions. Obsessive thought can be treated by therapy. Here is a link to books that talks about understanding obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Amazon.com: stop obsessing
  9. To the original poster (OP) Here is the toll-free phone number to LDS Family Services: 1-800-453-3860 ext. 2-1711
  10. Speaking for myself, what my obsessions were, were clogged up thoughts trying to suppress my real feelings. What I was obsessing about was not the problem for me. My problem was that I wasn't allowing myself to feel. Lately, I've been opening up to the bishop and to my therapist who has a master's degree in social work. She is a licensed clinical social worker and is skill in listening and understanding me. There are LDS therapists available at LDS Family Services, but your husband would have to be willing to ask your bishop for help and develop a relationship of trust with a therapist. My therapist is a woman who seems religious, but I believe that she can only listen to me talk about religion and can't talk about religion herself. Mind, body and spirit are one and at LDS Family services they would more likely to understand your husband than therapists paid for by the government would. My breakthrough in therapy came after I started reliving my childhood memories as I was writing my personal history all private to myself. Then I began telling my therapist about my childhood memories. When I got to the part of my history when the neighbors shot my dog and my dad didn't call the cops, I was overwhelmed with emotion and I couldn't speak. This was a breakthrough for me as I was feeling pure emotion and my obsessive thoughts began to wane. I said to my therapist, "I just got in touch with my emotions". She nodded and she said in language that a guy would accept, "You've accessed your emotions". I like the way that she put it. Unlike how some sexists authors have written about "getting in touch with your feminine side". I wouldn't have accepted that kind of language. My obsessive thoughts were about computer programming. I would program computers and help people program computers all day and all night. I was really trying to resist my bad feelings. There is a saying "what you resists, persists". After my breakthrough in therapy that day, I went home and instead of my usual activity of being on the computer every waking moment, I watched TV with my wife and I accessed my feelings all day and evening. I had anxiety for hours and then a whole range of emotions that worried my wife, but after accessing my emotions for so long and then resting from my obsessive thoughts, I have been feeling more peace of mind than I have felt for years. Priesthood blessings of healing help. Having good home teachers helps. Having a patient wife helps. Having a bishop to confide in helps. Having a professional therapist who is understanding, a good listener, and is skilled at giving just a bit of direction have all helped me. In addition you can request that your bishop starts a marriage and family group in Sunday School. I'm going to ask my bishop to start one and I'm going to try to get my wife to go to it too. May God be with you both.
  11. I agree. That's why I want to forgive and forget. I found a good song on lds.org "Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words to Each Other" https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/let-us-oft-speak-kind-words?lang=eng Speaking kind words to each other should lead back to "Love at Home". One thing that I've learned from my therapists is that I should feel my feelings rather than trying to suppress them. I have sometimes, tried to suppress my feelings by having thoughts such as computer programming thoughts. Trying to suppress your feelings can cause obsessions. I love my counselor. She is great for me to talk things out and get in touch with my feelings. I talk until I cry and she says "you have accessed your feelings". She understands that this kind of language makes it more "masculine" to me. That it is OK to cry. That my mind is like a computer and it is OK to "access my feelings". My counselor can listen to my religious thoughts but she has a gag order since her paycheck is paid by the government. I don't believe that she can tell me religious thoughts back like a counselor at LDS Family Services could. I'm going to have to request to my bishop again that he spend some of his budget on my family because we need counseling so badly. Sometimes, we are too obedient to authority and hesitate to make a second request. I agree. A general authority once said that if you are having problems with your spouse, to change yourself instead of getting a new spouse. OK. I appreciate you sharing a story from your personal life. -- Kaydell
  12. I saw a program on TV about the great flood. In this program, they analyzed the ancient records of many cultures and they all recorded the great flood. The science in the TV program suggested that instead of rain being the source of the water that flooded the world that "... the fonts of the deep were opened ..." which was interpreted to mean that the water came from beneath the crust of the earth when the crust of the earth broke open and the water that the crust of the earth had been floating on erupted like geysers from within the earth.
  13. I'm thankful for everyone that took the time and effort to reply to my post. My name, "Kaydell", can be a woman's name or a man's name, but I am a man and my spouse that hurt me is a woman. I think that usually, emotional abuse is done to try to dominate someone. Many times, it is is men who try to dominate, but in my experience, sometimes, it is the woman who tries to dominate by abusing someone. I am in therapy. I have had a breakthrough in therapy recently, having started writing my personal history and trusting my therapist by telling her some of it. My wife refuses to go into personal therapy or marriage counseling, saying "You always get like this, when you get like this", projecting our problems onto me. I will pray to forgive her and to forget the hurt. I know that I have hurt her before too and that she wants an apology. We started getting into it a few days ago and I used a technique that I read from the book: "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" "Seek to understand before you seek to be understood" -- Steven Covey When I repeated back to my wife what she said instead of trying to respond by making my own point, she said: "Finally, you understand what I have been saying..." and the argument was over when I let her have the last word. I have learned through psycho-education not to be passive and let people have their way and end up resenting them for it, but to stick up for myself without hurting and then shutting up and letting them have the last word, after making my point. This seems to work better than getting a divorce because of a stupid argument that is about who gets the last word. Thank you again for your replies. I appreciate it. Do you all have any more comments for us on this thread?
  14. How do you truly forgive and forget being hurt such as in an argument with your spouse? How do you forget so that it is as if it never happened? I realize that I am supposed to forgive so that I can be forgiven of God for my sins, but how exactly do you forgive somebody who says mean and hurtful things with the intent of hurting you and they aren't repentant evidenced by their saying such things as "Well, I was mad", as if that makes it OK?
  15. I appreciate kind and compassionate people. People who don't condemn me if they don't understand me. I like the above quote and I would like to add the following that I learned in Sunday School"