Gabelma

I am actually going to disagree, I would not know my husband as well as I do now without the 3 years online relationship. Yes the other person can lie, but that can happen anywhere, because my husband is of the painfully shy and quiet type, its unlikely we would meet any other way and I would have missed the greatest blessing in my life -Charley WHAT? My comments were made because in the OP the person said that one of them "Knew the other person was the right one' and they had not even met Maybe I just don't understand falling in love before actually spending time with someone in person. I glad your relationship has worked out the way it has. :) Just curious when did you meet him....how far into your friendship. I met my husband online we chatted for 3 years then things happened andI decided I was going to visit San Diego, wasn't even thinking about marrying him we were both dating other people. He suggested we meet, I was getting a blessing for something else which alsoincluded the line 'within the week you will have answers to your prayers about whether you should marry one of the men you are speaking to online' - within a week I had several answers then had to approach Richard. We got engaged in the November, met in the March for 3 weeks, I went through the Temple for the first time with Richard and his Parents. Then I had to explain as best I could to my non member parents when I got back (like I said in previous I think my in Laws had their own witness). He came over in June and we set wedding date for August 13th and Sealing August 14th. It has caused problems with my Mum butmy Dad has been fine. I am not sure if I did love Richard when we got married, deep passionate love took time, but he is a really good man and we have been through an awful lot of trials together. If I'd have had member parents we would have got married about 3 days after we met in real life. I think the person concerned should get a blessing and seek his own witness. -Charley

This quite frankly is not true, just like many British Tourists in Spain, Greece etc do not make very good ambassadors, American Tourists in Britain often behave apallingly they do however tip very well. I have worked in the tourist industry and quite frankly problems nearly always started with an American pushing in, or using inappropriate language - the phrase fanny pack does not go down well here. They abuse the speed limit etc And we do have illegal American Immigrants. Just as you have plenty of Brits with no Green Card. Not to mention the ones that ask daft questions like 'whydid you build Windsor Castle so close to Heathrow Airport'I know many Americans are great but because the bad ones tend to be hyper loud you can't miss em. -Charley

Actually as long as I can afford it I would pay most expenses, things have changed at least in the UK house prices have risen to the point where it is hard to get a house or rent a place on your own you need to seriously save. If my child was dilligently saving no I wouldn't charge rent, if my child wasn't I would and put it away. -Charley

I am actually going to disagree, I would not know my husband as well as I do now without the 3 years online relationship. Yes the other person can lie, but that can happen anywhere, because my husband is of the painfully shy and quiet type, its unlikely we would meet any other way and I would have missed the greatest blessing in my life -Charley

ctually it has everything to do with it, the same things that drive consuerism andour need for cheap tat are the ones that increase pollution and cause people around the world to not see how their actions have a butterfly wing effect on the Earth and itsinhabitants, You asked what do we do now, personally I feel our actions need to be the same whether or not Global Warming exists Charley

Absolutely, positively, incorrrect!!!!! Yes, women in the US and UK are getting more and more obese (if that is an indicator of being well nourished) but aside from this fact causing a great rise in infertility just being more nourished is not pushing the age limit for having children up! About half of women are essentially infertile by age 40. If they do get pregnant in those years their risk of having children with chromosomal birth defects skyrockets -- a woman giving birth at age 45 has a 1 out of 25 chance of having a downs syndrome baby. And that's just one of the problems. It has been reported by medical sources for the last decade that if a woman wants children then waiting until her 30s to have a child may put her at great risk of not being able to get pregnant. True many women have babies in their 30s with no problems but generally speaking these women had pregnancies in their 20s and their bodies are better primed to carry babies as well as conceive them. Women who wait until their 30s to start trying risk all kinds of problems not the least of which is endometriosis. I had a friend in college who developed this condition in her early 20s. Her doctor actually told her the best theing she could do to reverse it would be to get pregnant because without doing this she might become permanently infertile. And as for Sarah the fact she got pregnant at an advanced age was considered a miracle. Medical science is not capable of such miracles on a general scale and these woen you hear about having babies in their 60s are not using their own egg cells -- they carry someone else's donated eggs. The case of the 59 year old British woman who recently became the oldest mother to conceive naturally got headlines due to it being so unusual. Look, I am not debating women's abilities to do well in a number of things. But you can pass all the legislation in the world and not change biology or hard-wired behavioral patterns in our species. If you don't like that take it up with Darwin or God. The natural man is the enemy of God - I am not disagreeing that men and women are differnt or have prescribed roles however the hardcore feminism had to happen or women would still be maltreated and poorly educated in most societies. Or are you suggesting a woman that does the same job as yourself should be paid less? I do also feel that time has come for men to get some equality, for example if a husband abuses his wife she gets more sympathy and potential support than an abused husband. Boys are being seriously failed by the UK education system.Conerning my fertility commentn I did say for several generations, and at least inthe UK widespread obesity is a disease of the 1980s onwards, and women can be fertile from 8 right through to 60+ there are many more girls today who have their first period at 8 than there were in my Mums generation when she was one of the few. Which is why when I was in primary school they changed and started giving the period talk to girls aged 7 so we would be ready. I did not at any point say that the fertile lady would produce ahealthy living child. However any women who continues to get her period can conceive a baby - My Mum has just gone through the menopause at 65,know of at least one woman with Fibromyalgia who I counselled at 67 needed help changing her sanitary towels, neither got pregnant but does not mean it could not have occurred. Just because 8 year olds don't get pregnant very often does not mean it cannot occur,. Actually your point about women being increasingly infertile rather beliesyour other points what is the infertile womansupposed to do twiddle her thumbs? or for that matter the single woman You comment about your friend confirms my opinion about the poor state of Obstetric advice in the US - endometriosis can cause subfertility and infertility and can start at any time, I had friends at school with it from theage of 14. Most likely the diagnosis will between the ages of 25 and 40. Pregnancy can help because ithe hormones are not active during that time but the contaceptive pill can do the same thing. However given the weird and rather funky advice my Sister in Law got in her pregnancy advice pack from her hospital I can understand why you see things the way you do, crumbs she might as well have had a cancerous tumour in the end stages in there, she couldn't lift things, do this, do that, was given no control overthe process herself it was like reading something from the 1970s here, Here we hardly ever see a Dr unless you have a problem, wehave a midwife based system, and homebirth is now a legal right. In someways its bad as we no longer have support and are expected to get up straight afterthe birth etc but at least we are not treated like idiots who don't know their butt from their elbow, -Charley

we have had female head of states since Empress Maude in the 1100s and a female PM, there are a lot of female world leaders, even Pakistan and Israel have managed that. To me feminism is being proud of being female and doing what the Lord needs you to do on this Earth. We have had a counsellor in the General Relief Society Presidency who was a working Mom. -Charley

Can you leave it on her doorstep? or get a family member to give it to her at the family meal? Charley

Maybe but the modern Liberal Democrat Partry in the UK is the party that was at one time called Whigs. And they are still very much centre politics and nothing extreme, maybe its just because I am British and we have several different parties to represent us and let Heavenly Father choose our Head of State lol For me as a Brit the idea of using the term liberal to describe anything extreme seems bizarre - Tony Blair technically would be a Socialist (more of the champagne variety though). Even our right wing politicians wouldn't consider getting rid of Health Care that was free at the point of entry. Nice to see there's a couple of us around! Not sure about the very right wing ideas mind you...have to let me know what they are before I start to agree with ya! umm lol I am all for making prisons self sufficient, life meaning life and I personally think corrupt politicians should face the death penalty (only time I do agree with it:) - my husband dropped through the floor when I said so I should think so when they shot the Chinese guy), I would also expel bullies from schools permenantly no chance no nothing let their parents educate them at home. I have a few slightly extreme views for when I finally get given my dictatorship of the world:) Charley In 2001 I went to Canada to see a doctor who was able to help diagnose me. This was after, over the course of two years, going to six doctors in the U.S. whose offices were full of incompetency, whose staff lied to my face, and whose doctors just could not take the time to help me figure out what was wrong with me due to HMO/insurance limitations. I met with the Canadian doctor three times, and then was able to go back to Utah and tell the doctors what was wrong with me. From then on, I e-mailed the doctor in Canada for six more months, and then told my GP in UT what to do. Luckily my GP was very cooperative and worked with my Canadian doctor. Other doctors I had met with would never have allowed such a thing. Eventually I found a doctor who was a specialist in fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome and I have worked with her exclusively ever since. I believe that if you have a health problem that requires the best technology, you will get the best care in America. If your health problem does not, I believe you are in danger of receiving sub-standard care, even dangerously so. I've seen it. I’ll never forget my initial trip to Canada. I felt so sick, couldn’t think straight, lost my license (luckily a woman found it in the bathroom), and ended up on an Alaskan Airlines flight that kept dropping 50,000 feet, and finally landed in this tiny airport in Victoria. When I went through customs and told them I was seeing a doctor all five of the employees stopped and practically held their guns in my face! (Little hyperbole there.) They made me go talk to the supervisor and he kept grilling me about the doctor, and I honestly didn’t know why. I didn’t understand about their free healthcare system, and apparently a LOT of Americans try to sneak through to use it. Finally I broke down and just sobbed and sobbed. He felt bad and called me a cab. I will always be grateful for my Canadian doctor who spent hours with me helping me to understand why my body was rebelling against me and making me feel so ill. I will also always be so grateful to him for being willing to take the time to talk with my American doctor, often an hour or more at a time. I couldn't have been happier with my, admittedly, non-emergency, Canadian healthcare. Elphaba I agree so far my expereince in the US of hospitals has been shocking, I'd rather go to one in India lol - I am horrified at the archaic way women are treated during pregnancy and labour etc I thought ours were dirty and the patient care can be bad but its nothing compared to what I saw whilst in California. If you go for a mixed system like we have the NHS subsidises private health, most of the systems in Western Europe you get the upgrade option:) Your health insurance will be cheaper and you can get nicer hospitals -Charley

tell him to get a blessing, I had a situation with my husband before we got married where Iwanted to go and visit the States I went and got a blessing as I didn't trust myself to receive and answer to prayers. Also talk ifhe can talk to his parents if they are LDS they may receive revelation I know my Father in Law knew we were going to get married before we did. Charley

The ancient Hebrews also believed in a form of Paternity Leave - they gave the man and woman a year off after marriage to build their home, wouldn't it be great if we could do that? Your acting as though women working is new, most socities have had women working for centuries, without women in the factories, or slave women in the fields or peasent women all of whom had to work through their pregnancies, the difference between them and men was what? oh yes thats right half the wage, and maybe the few hours it took to push the baby out. My Gran was born in a time when women didn't even get to vote in my country. Her Mum had raised her to be self suffcient and she was able to cope when the men left for WW2 but most women had a much steeper learning curve, thanks to my Gran many women were saved from prison due to very innocent tax fraud (they were unaware when they took over their husbands businesses it had to be paid), shechanged plugs and even light bulbs. Also personally I think men should be looking at working as little as they can - Fathers are important too.And for your information most women in the UK and the US have been well nourished for several generations as a result many women are fertile between the ages of 8 and 60 these days, which is scary but true. Afterall Sarah was able to have Abraham at nearly 100 so the capability must be in us. When my Mum had me at 30 she was considered an old first time Mum when I went in at 27 with Ellie I was normal. Heck my Gran was 40 when she had my Mum in 1946 having only ever had one other child in 1929, she worked througout her pregnancy (she had a baby linen shop and helped to manage a pub), when my Auntie was born in 1928 she was a housekeeper. She managed. Personally I think its very important that men and women can trade roles when necessary, when I was at church during my college years there was a family that had to role swap, her salary was worth almost triple that of her husband and with house prices the way they are here, they had to swap roles, however because they did that they both fulfilled the need to have children nurtured and provided for had they struggled the other way that wouldn't have happened. I do believe staying at home is important to children but there is no need to be Victorian about it (Stone Aged people were a lot more enlightened when it comes to women). Feminism was needed and it needed to be hardcore to get people to listen now we can chill out more which is why current generations have never heard of Germaine Greer. -Charley

Apologies for the rather long essayI have post natel depression http://afterbirth.bravehost.com/ this website has my story on it I am currently trying to use my previous education in Womens Archaeology to start something, both my Mother and my Bestfriend's Mum had theirs and in turn our lives affectedby severe post natel depression, in my Mums case it turned into something more serious, which then turned into alcoholism, in my best friends Mums case she became and alcoholic. The website should be live next month, I should have 2 forums one for local Mums in my area that can attend the meetings and one for Mums from other places. Not many people had the opportunity I had with my Fibromyalgia before they had post natel depression, whereas my instinct is now to go away and research. The reality is every woman has PND to some extent, in fact I think I was very odd in not having it with my first, but I think the pre-eclampsia had made me so ill I just felt good when it had gone. Plus I did not have to start 'parenting' alone until she was 2 weeks old and I hadn't had to go through the last 2 months of pregnancy. And crucially my husband was out of work until Ellie was 4 months. Our socities increasingly expect women to get up hours after labour and funtion normally with no support from anywhere. Now previous societies have expected that (there is the famous paintings of the pregnant French woman going out to the field pregnant and coming back with a newborn baby in her wheelbarrow), however those societies demanded work of their women that prepared their bodies for labour, very few women in western socities have bodies that well prepared. In other primitive socities women would get upto 40 days rest, the women would breastfeed each others babies etc Very few socities expected women to look after the house, care for babies and toddlers, work/do things outside the home without the support of family. It literally took a village to raise a child. Things have got more stressful because people are afraid to offer help, I know its worse in other places than where I live but when I was growing up a Mother struggling with a baby or toddler would have been automatically offered help by a passer by and would greatfully accept it with relief, or they would offer to carry bags a certain distance. I know that my Great Gran would help anyone on her street and if a Mother was ill she would look after that baby and breastfeed it for the Mum, could you imagine what would happen if she offered that today? Our Relief Society is supposed to function that way but the women in it are often just as busy as we are expected to be, I am not advocating you do but I became an attachment parent because I am lazy, it is easy to have the baby snuggled next to you in bed, its so much easier to carry a baby on your back than push a pram and with the right sling and done from birth your ablity to carry grows with the baby. I learned combination of finger foods and baby bird feeding (chewing for your baby) means I can give my baby homecooked food without any major effort I didn't need to spend hours pureeing food. I don't need to go through the trauma of ever letting my baby cry (I am very glad I didn't now), mattresses on the floor make children much more indpendent earlier as they don't need to bother Mum they can do some taking care of themselves from when they learn to crawl. Both my babies are portable. I don't need to be strong, I have discovered my children do everything when they are ready, if we were worried about long term reliance on things babies would never go in nappies, use pacifiers, bottles or go in cots. (actually because I use a mattress haven't needed to worry about child going in big bed). Guess my goal is to allow women to have information that helps them be confident they have made the right choices, always go with your instincts, Heavenly Father gave us our Mummy Radar if something feels bad to you it probably is. If you feel all you want to do is hold him do it that is what is probably right for your son, I am sorry I can't validate you letting him cry and making him self settle, like Puska I grew up with child cruelty ads of a baby crying in his cot, then stopping crying because he knew noone was coming, I think they made a huge impression on a lot of UK Mums my age, however if you want to do it and its right for you do it. I would suggest the Elizabeth Pantley book though (No Cry Sleep Solution) - it will give you the information you need to decide whether crying out is for you and it contains a more humane version of CIO. -Charley

Funny wehave American relatives that have had to go to Canada for operations that don't have such good surgeons in the US. And I thought Michael Moore was a socialist? He is definitely waay tooo left wing to be a liberal. You use the word liberal like evangelical christians use the word cult - they use it to mean the church down the road, you use it to mean anyone that doesn't toe the partyline according to Sixpacter. Historically the Whigs (large number of which helped start the Republican party) were Liberals (its what their party is now called the Liberal Democrats lol) Laissez Faire was historically a Liberal policy, interfering and introducing laws was considered conservative. My politics waver between Green/Socialist/Anarchist with a few very right wing ideas thrown in non of them are centre politics. -Charley

ok sorry if I misunderstood you Six - I understood your premise was Global Warming and then you were asking what should we do now? - my response was the idea that actually Global Warming is not a very big deal, and does not change the fact that our governments and many big businesses do behave badly, and that whilst I am not expecting change to happen that doesn't mean it shouldn't. I personally believe so many are for and against Global Warming that one can say it MIGHT happen, I think its a brilliant government and big business idea - lets use an airy fairy idea that will only happen many years in the future. That way we can ignore the problems at hand, and still get voted in. What concerns me deeply is the fact that our socities are increasingly looking for ways to make life more conveient. People are becoming less capable of looking after themselves, how many people my generation can't sew, can only bake from packets, heck I know kids in priamry schools (elementary school) today who don't know beef comes from a cow or that bread contains wheat. The looks I get when I suggest walking 3 miles to a bus stop are unreal wonder how many of those people could walk 800 miles with an ox cart. Its not good to assume that all with always be peachy. The Lord has allowed great civilisations to be documented and their fall to be shown, archaeology indicates many ended through natural disasters, my personal is belief that the wealthy probably saved themselves at the expense of the people lower in society, however the lower down in society you go the more skills you find and the more resourceful the people. Therefore the civilisations could not rebuild. We see similar things happen again, and again in the BOM. Concerning Biofuel - it is far from the only option - what about using used Chip Fat (vegatable oil), you can use it ina diesel oil in the sumemr without any major adjustments, you do need some for winter usage in most places. Its better for your engine, recycled and these days diesel engines are pretty good, Volvo and Honda have made some very quiet ones. One reason to start changing is the fact that fossil fuels are finite, they simply won't be here. -Charley

ok have health warning I am so crunchy I have cornflakes in my knickers lol but do you know the Saviour would probably have shared a bed with Mary until he was about 3 or 4 and he stopper nursing?` My first was a dream lol slept 5 hours straight at night from when she was born.. My son has beena different entity at 9 months has never slept in a cot and still only sleeps for 2 hours at atime. We have a family bed (my daughters mattress is next to ours) we have just now put my son on a cot mattress next to ours its been lovely he barely wakes me except for a feed and he crawls and plays with toys, and he will usually wake up either next to me or on Ellie's bed.Have you come across the book the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley it really is good and has helped a lot with both of mine (although has yet to produce a night sleep from little man lol) it lets you know a lot about sleep and how to teach your lo hoe to sleep.Personally I do think it can cause trauma, I can always spot the families where the children haven't cried to sleep and their is a huge difference. When I was getting a lot of pressure to leave Gabey to cry it out (I actually got it for Ellie loll even when she was sleeping through the night for 12 horus), I was very upset and exhausted one day and decided to go and ask the most successful Mum in our branch, she has 5 very differnt children and the most amazing close relationships with all of them - I was hoping at that point she would say yes she had left them to cry, but no she hadn't. So its back to finding more loving ways to cope. But at 8.5 months its not normal to be sleeping through the night or self settling, some babies like my first do but the vast majority either have had to cry it out to get there or don't. Babies who are left to cry learn not to cry because they know Mummy won't come, so they don't bother - I personally find the idea my kids learn Mummy won't come to them when they cry sad - after all if I cry to Heavenly Father into the middle of the night he answers my prayers. -Charley

Would the value of masculinity come from centuries ago? Or even in today's society...where men who have multiple sons are thought of to be more masculine and the sons are more valued? not sure when I think back through our monarchs most of the Kings have been effeminate in style, same with the nobility. Charley

I think difference is most of Europe doesn't expect their politicians to be uncorrupt, certainly for me my requirement is that they are good at their corruption and don't get caught. That is my problem with the politicians we have got over the past few years they tell such stupid lies Charley

There were two tomboys in our neighborhood. They wore sports jerseys non stop and their mother was always in jeans and a flannel shirt or t-shirt. The father was mostly wearing bluejean bibs with t-shirts and flannel jackets. Somewhere between Jr High and High School, the older girl decided to wear feminine apparel and makeup. We will describe her as being "gaudy." Her clothes and make-up were bright colors to include hair color. Her sister fell into the jeans and t-shirt family tradition. After high school graduation, the older girl started wearing jeans and t-shirts too. Neither got into piercings or tattoos. Neither one went to college or entered the workforce full time. They are all just "home bodies." Fortunately both parents work. Oh, and no boyfriend connections to report so marriage is really on the "back burner" for the tomboys. But, this can't be what happens to all Tomboys. LOL umm I am a tomboy - as a teen took the grunge fashion very much to heart I mean isn't it great when you can be trendy shopping at thrift shops and never ironing your clothes:) I spent my teens in boots, jeans, mens shirts and a mans overcoat. That has grown into more hippie clothes so now my brightly colour tops have emoboridery, but I still prefer jeans and an overcoat. I love Star Trek, martial arts movies and computer games. I got to college despite having learning difficulties and if it wasn't for my illness would have easily become a good forensic anthropologist. And ok I only had a couple of boyfriends, but was married by 25 and personally I think being a tomboy helped me to find a better husband and gives us a better marriage as we are better friends. I am glad I took it slowly. All my tomboy friends have good lives now. I want my children to be themselves, my husband is very good at cooking, beadwork and produces some great crocheted works. My daugter loves pink, flowers and butterflies but can come in covered in mud and bruises after a game of football. Right now my son loves his pink dummy (pacifier) and his favoruite show is Fifi and the Flowertots. -Charley

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zhqlmdrk5NsI couldn't find ken dodd performing it but this song seems to fit (video is ok) -Charley

hi here are my favourite babyname sites http://behindthename.com http://babynamesworld.com http://babynamer.com -Charley

Charley, You and I have discussed this a few times as we both have severe fibromyalgia. You always are such an inspiration to me and I rarely say that. Yediyd has it also, and the two of you make me feel like a whiny little five-year-old. Pam, you asked about diagnosis. It is called a "waste basket" disease. Far too many people are diagnosed with it who don't really have it. I was one of them 15 years ago. I realize now I didn't have it then. What I have today is far more debiliating. The fatigue is bone crushing. The pain put Charley in a wheel chair. I rarely leave my bed because when I stand up my blood pressure falls and I'm often on the verge of passing out. Yediyd is in constant pain, and every time I talk to her she's gritting her teeth trying to bare it. I take pain meds as I could not stand the pain, and I think that's okay. When I was working I would be so sick and in so much pain I used to go lock myself in the bathroom and lie down on the floor and sob. One of the most debilitating symptoms, for me, was the cognitive impairment. I would sit at my computer and the "fibro fog" would roll in and I could not concentrate on anything. It would overwhelm me, and my eyes would hurt, I'd feel like I had the flu, and I would head back to the bathroom. When I would explain this fog to people they would often comment "Everyone forgets things as they get older." This was much more profound than forgetting things. I've had people comment to me that I don't appear to have the cognitive impairment now. This is true. I finally was able to quit working and let my body rest. I no longer had to force it to do things it could not do. When I need to sleep, I sleep, which could be 24-48 hours at a time. Conversely, I'm often up 48 hours at time as well. I just let my body tell me what it needs, and consequently my cognitive impairment has improved greatly. But if I have to do anything particularly complicated, especially when my body is not feeling well, the fibro fog rolls still rolls in. Anyway, I wanted to tell Charley how much I love your posts and the affinity I feel with you. You know that as we've discussed it before. Yediyd as well. I love you both with all my heart. Elphaba I think for me losing my brain was the hardest thing - I also have something called Dyspraxia (its old name was clumsy child syndrome) as a result a reasonably intelligent mind was the only talent I felt I had. To lose it was devestating Charley

It must be great though seeing them all grown and in their 20s? I know my friends who have had child carers have produced the most amazing self sufficient children. I have a friend at college her Mum had ME and the blessing shereceived said her illness was forthe benefit of her children.... I see it in my daughter now she is having to be grown up and caring at 4 because of it I am so proud of her. -Charley

how beautiful, its the gospel in a nutshell -Charley

Hey Charley, There's this singer that I think you'd really like. His name is Michael Ball. That Lily Savage was hysterical! Elphie http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fFob9J2Gftg Here is Paul O'Grady Aka Lily Savage he's interviewing Michael Flatly (Riverdance) took me ages to find someone you might know lol http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Om2ACpoGmJw What I love is as he gets older Paul O'Grady is the double of my Auntie Lily as she is from Liverpool they even speak alike lol here is some other stuff you may like (no more Michael Ball lol he is my security blanket) http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KBNsp0_ssHw http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uzxnsXI8kDI http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DACkfFtOm-k&NR=1 http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=33YUALnF3JY (my fav) http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IvoM6-5nW30 (the Royal Family) -Charley

I don't know if you'll read my reply Charley, it's been so long since you wrote this. I am soo grateful to read this. I agree with you in saying that Christ is the judge. I have so often heard in the church that what is required is our "best." In my thoughts I would say, let us rely on the Holy Ghost to tell us what our "best" is. Thankyou for relating your experiences with fibromyalgia. I do not carry the burden of that illness, but I do suffer from depression. I struggle with going to church and reading my scriptures right now. I feel so apathetic, and I do just enough to get by day by day. It feels like I have no desire/will to do better, and I feel guilty about that. What has puzzled me is how close the Spirit feels to me day by day. I am reassured that He loves me over and over again. I wonder if this is to teach me humility-the greatness of His love corollary to my weakness. I also like what you said about becoming close to the Saviour, and that conversion is a process. I think the changing of one's heart to "desire to do good continually" is a process for us now. Anyway, Thanks much. I find if my intention is to do something I get the blessings I would if I had actually done it. Tithung is a classic example, I struggle remembering to take thecheque in, I have a strongtestimony of tithing just forget it, I find Lord looks after me as if I havedoneit. -Charley