Dove

Hello, Justice, I would be happy to remember you and your struggles in my prayers :). It's nice to work together for each other's benefits. I didn't realize that you had struggles too! You sounded so strong in your passage on giving up your will to His. Thanks for your honesty in letting my know you struggle, and that we all struggle with this. For each of us, there is the "straight and narrow" path to the tree of life. For me, it is about enduring to the end. I realized yesterday (I believe I was being blessed for reading my scriptures that day) that for me, I need to take responsibility for creating my own happiness. I need to work on doing those things that will help me to feel better, to strive for a more positive attitude, and to work on enjoying life, even if my life in some hours consists of doing housework, paying bills, dieting, exerscising, and doing things that take me out of my comfort zone. I also realized, that while I am required to work for my happiness, the gratitude comes in that I am even being given the strength and opportunity to do so. I don't believe the AA programs' step that teaches that without God we are powerless. I believe, with the agency He has given us, we have also been given the power to work and strive for our "want to's" in life. Some of us choose to use this power unwisely. But we are still given the power to choose. Thanks, Justice, Dove

Thank you for your inspiring post, Rich, I have some pioneer stories I will get out and post~rich in sweet testimony and faith. Funny, I was wanting to start a thread on the priesthood, it's role/purpose and blessings in our lives. I would like to, but I have never started a thread before. I suppose I should get my courage up to do so! LOL. Would you have any suggestions? Anyway, thanks again, Dove

Thank you, Justice, for this post. I don't know quite to think of what you wrote. It's a little difficult for me, because I don't believe there is anyway I can really "give up" my agency to anyone, even God. I see it as using my agency to be fully obedient to Him, but that is still my choice. He will never force me to do so, and I am sooo grateful for that. If you will read my other posts, I believe you will understand why, although I don't want to belabor the background I have come from. I had a dear friend years ago teach me about the "want to" in life. That everything we experience/do/choose is, in the end, what we want, or wanted all along. What a beautiful concept for me~ as it brought my accountability for my life more deeply into my consciousness. And, I am struggling with my faith anyway, right now. I'm not saying this is correct, but it is where I'm at. I still have my struggles with God and in trusting Him fully. But I'm trying. I read my scriptures and prayed today. For me, that was a victory. Your prayers and faith on my behalf would be much appreciated, if you would like to :). One thing I am grateful for is how often I feel the reassurances of the Spirit, that He is pleased with my efforts to do, and be, better. Sometimes I feel He has stepped back and left me to deal with my life the best I can, letting me figure it out on my own. I don't often feel that He intervenes in ways; however, there are other ways that He shows up in flying colors, when I take the time to think about it. Honestly, it is too painful for me right now to try to do the kind of obedience you mention. But there are laws that I can strive to keep. Prayer, scripture study, tithing, going to church, and overcoming my word of wisdom problems. I never knew that following His will would be the most difficult and, in a lot of ways, the most painful, process of my whole life. This has been my experience of it since my mission 20 years ago. Admittedly, I have had a lot of resistance to the pain I have experienced while striving to be obedient. It is His love that keeps me pressing forward to try, try again. Wow, what a journey I've had in this life. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have it. Dove

D&C 121 41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; 42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile— 43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; 44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death. 45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. 46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; ... Hello, everybody! I've been praying lately, and working through my "issues" with priesthood authority. Wanderer hits on so many of my concerns with this. I come from quite a background (cultural/familial) where I was taught incorrect principals concerning the priesthood. One result of the fall and atonement combined is the glorious gift of our agency generally, and of my agency as a woman personally. I am so grateful to be in a country where I am not forced to live a certain, or any for that matter, religion. I don't have to be a member of a patriarchal church and I don't have to support the authority of it. I live in a day and age where I can walk away without immediate consequence. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is my choice. I choose it with good reason. My husband and I went to a church social tonight. As I walked through the door of the assembly hall, I felt the comfortings of the Holy Ghost, that His Spirit did reside there. That this church would be where I would find His Spirit. I talked to some of our priesthood holding friends tonight. I was struck by the demeanour of one of our good friends, the elders chorum president, who is also a convert to the church. Again, the Spirit washed over me, only stronger. He was so kind and humble, giving me a hug, talking awhile, and giving advice on things. I've been ill for the past 3 weeks, and have been getting rather discouraged. I received a priesthood blessing from him and the bishop at the end of the evening, with my husband being there. I offered the opening prayer, and felt overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessings of the priesthood, and the love of God, and a love of them for their service to me. The blessing hit home and I was edified. Earlier this afternoon, I believe I was being blessed by the Spirit when I realized that I really didn't mind being "subject" to the priesthood authority, it was the abuse of it that was causing me to bridle. I don't mind having a different role, and for the other gender to take the roles of leadership, so long as it is done in the right Spirit. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I am deciding that before I follow anyone, I can determine for myself, through the Spirit, if what they are saying/doing is of God, or not. I am also deciding that if I see anyone, some leaders included, not following Him, or not following the principals of righteousness in their roles, I do not have to support that person in those things. I even talked to my bishop about this point of view, and he agreed with me, which comforted me. Like I said in a prior post, I believe I chose my gender at some point. Perhaps we all had much more of a say as to our callings in our lives than we realize. For me, this diffuses the sense that one role is more important, or higher, or whatever, than the other. Also, that to execute the priesthood in it's purest form requires one to be as the Saviour, whose intent was to serve and to love, not to coerce or force, or to be greater than those he was serving. One thing that has hurt me over the years in my culture, was the feeling that, because of my gender, my feelings/input weren't taken seriously, or with respect. I wasn't treated as an equal. My own mothers taught me to treat men with a special deference, which I no longer agree with. I am so grateful that I can wholeheartedly say I have never felt this from God. Rather, the contrary. How does this fit in this thread? Oh, the cunning ways of the adversary. While I have my agency, unless I turn myself fully to God, as I know Him, and the atonement of our Saviour, there is no way I will be able to exercise that agency in a manner that will bring me joy. "Adam (Eve) fell that men (women) might be, and men (women) are that they might have joy." I know this through experience. Thanks for reading :-) Dove

Thank you for the clarification, Bert. I have oodles of issues with the abuse of priesthood authority, which has crept into my threads here. Sorry! I have struggled with the attitude towards women generally at times as well. Yes, I remember that Eve was in "transgression" for taking the forbidden fruit, as she was deceived. I'm still ever so grateful she did it. I was overzealous in my defense of her~I still hope she did it out of bravery and courage. I still don't believe childbirth is punishment for her having taken the forbidden fruit, but rather a natural result of the fall, and the opposition we all go through in this life. This could be my supposition of things, though.

Hello, Sister of Jared, Wow, you are so full of energy and enthusiasam! It helps me wake up more just to read your posts :-) . I'm new here, and look forward to seeing you post more. You seem like an energetic, positive person. Thanks! Dove

Thank you for your feedback Nappaljarri, I appreciate your response. I feel you wrote it with kindness and respect. :) It seems you feel that my perceptions may be misguided. One thing that bothers me is the list posted that began most, if not all, of the statements with "they claim" and "they believe," speaking of an unknown third party who wasn't here and couldn't agree/deny, defend or explain their position. All those statements, to me, were critical in nature. Another thread that gave me concern was the one mentioning the parable of the ten virgins. It gave reference to those "decent members" who "gave excuses" for being "fashionably late" by disagreeing with doctrines of the church. That, with the response of being on "mormon standard time" took it from not only a tone of derision, to me, but to making fun. I believe that those people who are actually taking steps to openly disagree with doctrine, especially those members of long-standing, are not "making excuses" in their mind, but are consciously and thoughtfully coming out in disagreement, for whatever reason, for good or bad. I acknowledge that you may feel this is overly sensitive on my part. As I mentioned, part of my struggle is remaining active in the gospel. My issue isn't the doctrine so much as it is the attitude of other members. I perceive a general lack of tolerance, compassion, emphathy, open-mindedness and love. While you say that you are not interested one iota about what any other member or non-member is doing or how or what type of person they are, I am. What other people do and how they feel does affect me. I do care about what other people feel and wether or not the choices they're making are bringing them what they are looking for or would be applicable to me in the same circumstance. I do feel a reaction when it seems I am being judged, put down, or just ignored, by others. My perspective is that none of us are an island, we are all in this mortal experience together. Like it or not, all of our actions, thoughts, and attitudes act like waves across the ocean of humanity. We are in an universal climate. While we may not have control over how a person will react to what we send out, I strongly believe that everyone has a reaction to the "waves," even if only a minimal one. I just hope that here, on an LDS forum, what is sent out are the attributes of charity~

Thank you Snow, I find the tone of that list concerning. It seems as if we're esteeming people who do not act in accordance with our value system (mormon, or not) as an enemy who deserves our condescension and derision, as well as our judgement. Ouch! I say ouch, because for me, while I have had many witnesses from the Spirit about many doctrines in the gospel, remaining an active, "upright" member of the church is an ongoing battle for me. While I believe there is purpose in this for my life's journey, it only makes it harder to read of the attitudes shown on this thread. Yes, there is the parable of the ten virgins. How grateful I am for modern day revelation as well. There was a prayer given in General Conference a few years back. The one voicing the prayer asked for everyone to show love and kindness to all those who were in opposition to the church. It was so charitably spoken in sincerity. It was like the Balm of Gilead for me. While we are ultimately judged for our knowledgeable choices, acts, and motives here on earth, I choose to believe that God judges in both mercy and justness, and that it pains Him to see us use our agency in such a way as to bring ourselves unhappiness. It has been well documented that a great deal of His children are going to make choices that bring them into strict justice at the last day. I have heard that the number of people in the bottom kingdom will be as the "sands of the sea," and will decline in numbers as the kingdoms increase in glory. Let's always be Christlike to those who make decisions that can only bring them more unhappiness. I don't ever want to be accused of adding to someone's sense of despair or hopelessness in the waves of negativity that often accompany being engaged in opposing another's belief system.

Hello, MissHW~ Thank you for bringing out that rather than judging, loving is so important. It is the greatest commandment. I had an interesting experience with my husband, who is a member of a different religion from mine. We got into a discussion on the old grace vs. works topic. I started looking up scriptures in the New Testament to prove my point that obedience to the commandments is required, that faith without works is dead, etc. Wouldn't you know it, every scripture I found on being obedient to the commandments in the New Testament were somehow tied into loving our brother/sister. I have to laugh. Boy, was I put into my place. I learned more from that than what I was trying to teach my husband in winning the argument. Loving our brothers/sisters is the greatest commandment. It seems so soon forgotten in our quest to upstage each other in how well we're keeping them. I feel I have understood your message in this thread. I believe what you're saying is to not judge other people in a demeaning, putting them down and making them feel less than way. My question then, is, if loving is the ultimate power, how do we go about loving other's in such a way that they will understand and feel loved by us? I mean this in all sincerity. For instance, I love my nephews dearly, but communicating this to them in a manner they understand and feel uplifted by is like speaking in a foreign language for me at times. I have a sister who has a gift for loving others. All of us in the family (friends have to) relate to her and trust her with our hearts. Every one of us feel loved by her, and she is probably all of our's favourite sister. How can I attain to loving others in this way? This is an open question. I would love to hear everyone's response and ideas on this. Dove

Hello, Wanderer I really appreciate your perspective on the differences in the way men and women are treated, even in spiritual arenas. I have felt frustrated myself by this disparity. The thought that men and women would be able to "minister" with each other on an equal basis seems a fairy tale to me. I am happy to know that you've seen people do it~that would have been a wonderful experience to have witnessed myself. I view my religion as a very patriarchal order, as most christian religions are/have been due to biblical teachings. While it's pure intent is not to have women be demeaned or lessened, I believe the propensity to do so has been rampant throughout history, and still can be and is to some degree. I apologize, it was not my intent to "cross lines" in my response, or to cause you to do so. I have had a few wonderful bishops, men who were truly inspired of God in their callings. My bishop presently is such a man. I've also had a bishop who wouldn't allow me to ask for prayer in our one on one interviews, because I wasn't the priesthood authority in the room. It still hurts to recall. I acknowledge that forgiveness is essential here. This is quite a tender topic for me~If you read some of my other posts you will be able to see why. I think part of my problems as an LDS woman, is that I was raised to believe that the priesthood holder's opinion/voice was to be followed as if it came straight from deity~no matter what was said by them in their fallible human condition. This has created quite a conflict for me, because we are all fallible human beings here. I am learning to be more balanced by getting my own witness of the Spirit, and learning to delineate what is said by that Spirit through the mouth of other people and what is not... My original point for Eve in the Garden of Eden, to remain more to the intent of this thread, is that I don't believe that we are reaping punishment from her choice because labor is painful. I believe pain/opposition is a necessary experience here for everyone in our course of agency. In reading your thread, you seem very aware of, and concerned for, the woman's place in society. Thank you for your sensitivity to this. Dove

As I read through these threads, the serenity prayer from AA keeps coming to my mind~ "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I don't like judging others, it is so tiresome. I like MH's idea from her book, to simply be a witness or observe. I do think it is important to decide what situations/people are in my best interest to be around. I think we all do that. Personally, I believe the reason why it is so easy to judge wrongfully is because we cannot have all the facts as to a person's true heart/intent. While I may act according to their actions towards me, I can't know what's prompting them to act as they are, and I don't know that that's my business. It's hard, as I've felt judged plenty of times by others. So, do I in turn judge them, or simply let it be as it is? I think I prefer the latter, and to always study to remove the beam from my eye, rather than the mote in theirs. I always feel much better approaching it in this way. Miss HW has a great point about removing the guilt and condemnation though. I learned a long time ago to allow God to judge/punish me, and not myself. When I realized that, coming to Him became so much easier. Dove

Hello, Wanderer~ I appreciate all your comments and questions. They actually adress some of the questions/concerns I've had over the years. I agree that fatherhood should be given as much of a priority as motherhood. I understand your questioning that the roles are so different from each other, and that women are excluded from so many different positions in the church. These are hard hitting questions/concerns. As far as I understand, the LDS church teaches that though the roles are very different from each other, they are equal in value. To me, they are very distinct and seperate in the church. Yes, according to the bible, and to the LDS teachings as I know them, the man is in stewardship over the woman in the bonds of marriage. It is the priesthood holder that leads the household in prayer and worship. I have often heard the phrase, "the man is the head of the house," while growing up in an LDS home/culture. Then there is the phrase coined by one of our leader's years ago, "A woman's place is in the home." I have struggled with these issues, and were it not for the profound testimony I have received concerning the power of the priesthood, I would have left over these issues long ago. There are some ideas/opinions that have helped me accept the priesthood authority better. First of all, I believe that in it's ideal form, the priesthood is meant for the humble acts of service so often emulated by the Saviour. It is meant to help others, rather than oppress them. If you have access to LDS scriptures, Doctrine and Covenants 121 addresses this beautifully, in a way that I can appreciate and accept. You also spoke of agency/choice in the pre-existance. I have often wondered/speculated if at some point in time we, as children of God, did choose our own gender. This idea goes far for me in diffusing the feeling that the different gender roles taught by the church are unequal. While many men have abused their given "dominion" in the name of the priesthood, this is not the purpose or meaning of the priesthood. Lastly, I will just give my testimony of the priesthood. I have had so many blessings given me through priesthood brethren, many times answering private, personal prayers no one but I (and God) knew about~word for word. Those blessings have helped me immensely throughout my life. The priesthood is key to the LDS church. I acknowledge it's authority while I made my baptismal and temple covenants. I feel it's power; it is very real to me. Anyway, again, I really appreciate your input. It echoes a lot of what I have felt. I would be grateful for your view and perspective concerning this. Dove

Hello, Rich I actually think Eve did a wonderful thing in choosing to eat the "forbidden fruit" in the garden of Eden, as there was no other way to bring mankind into mortality. I believe she did well by her choice, as the "Fall of Adam" was so necessary for our growth and development. I think of 2 Nephi 2 and Alma 42, which discuss in detail the necessity of opposition in agency and experiencing the bitter to know the sweet. I am unable to bear children, and would go through oodles of pain just for the experience of bearing and raising children, regardless of their choices growing up. I think sacrifice begets love, especially in raising children! Having pain in the delivery process is a part of our experience of pain in life generally, imo. Because of Eve's bravery and courage in initiating the process for bringing children and opposition into the world, I believe the patriarchal order to be an eternal and God given order. Although I have struggled with never being able to bear the priesthood myself, and the seeming inequality in this, I cannot deny it's power, and so follow it because I believe it's real. It is mine to fulfill the measure of my creation, as a daughter of God, whatever that may be. :-)

Hello, Shadow Hunter, I hope you were able to find satisfactory answers to your questions. I've been reading through all the threads, and it seems they left off from what you had originally asked into theological debates at times. Sorry! One neat thing the LDS church teaches is that all of us, through baptism, can receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. My testimony of the LDS church comes through this source. If it would be helpful, there are many scriptures in the Bible and the LDS standard works that describe the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. He is why I am a member to this day. I really appreciate the LDS belief in continuing revelation, and also individual revelation, from the Spirit. I feel very close to God through this, every day. Another wonderful thing is our belief that God is our Heavenly Father, and that He loves each one of us. You too can have a wonderfully fulfilling relationship and closeness with God through the Holy Spirit. Feel free to ask all the questions you have, that's the way you get answers! Take Care and best of wishes in your search for Him. Dove

[quote=NightShift;255140]Not your wife/children but parents. If your father was a violent psychopath that used to torture you and use your flesh as an ash tray just for fun. And your mother not caring if you where dead and alive and didn't even feed you. Would you be allowed to hate your family? Or does that go against the LDS belief? Hello, Night Shift~ I've been reading through these posts, and haven't heard any replies from you since this thread has been started. How are you? I'm so sorry that you went through such awful things while growing up. I know I don't understand what happened, and how you experienced it, I can only try to imagine the grief you must have felt. I have gone through my own abuse from my dad while growing up. Abuse that effects me to this day. Of course you're going to feel anger and hurt towards your parents!! What they did was totally wrong! These crimes are serious and deserve to be thought of with outrage! I believe something would be wrong if one didn't feel those feelings towards acts that are so heinous! I struggle with understanding why I was allowed to survive the experiences I had while growing up. I know God is Omniscient and Omnipotent. I have struggled with feeling betrayed by Him in letting me go through, and live to know of, such devastating things. I feel they left me emotionally crippled to a large extent, a crippling I will have to work with for the rest of my life. I would like to tell you some things that have helped me towards healing, which is a work in progress~I offer this in the hope that it will help, and not hinder, your own process of healing. I believe in God, and His love for me. I have felt the reassurances of His love for years, something I have sought out many times as I have struggled with serious depression throughout my life. A depression that I feel is a result of the abuse of my dad, the persecution of my peers while growing up, and my own biological make-up. For me, it is okay to grieve. Mourning what happened is a natural process of healing. I mourn how deeply effected I was by what happened, the loss of a dream of a loving rational father who related to me appropriately and found me of worth and value. I am working on going to my Heavenly Father to learn how to appropriately relate to a father figure who loves me and has given me infinite worth and value. I mourn the loss of who I would have been, had I not grown up in abusive circumstances. I feel so different from average, normal people, and not in a good way. I often feel isolated and alone. I am so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost. He has repeatedly reassured me that I am not alone, even when there was no one physically around me. Because of God's love, I have come to value and appreciate qualities about myself that I would not have developed without the situation I grew up in. I am so grateful that I am more loving, patient, kind, and emphathetic towards the sorrows and faults of others. I am grateful because I am a passionate, intense person who wants to push forward in living my life to the fullest gy loving and being loved, knowing and being known by God and others. One beautiful concept that is taught by the LDS religion is the doctrine of agency. In the Book of Mormon, there is a scripture that says "God (Christ) Himself atones for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also."~ Alma 42:15. While I am grateful for God's grace that is so needed by each of us, I don't believe this grace lets us off the hook in being responsible and held accountable for our own actions. Part of our steps for repentance include confessing our sins and making restitution where possible. The Book of Mormon states that one "must repent or he cannot be saved!" (Alma 5:30-31). This helps me to know that while forgiveness for all may be required on my part, this doesn't mean that the acts of my abuser are condoned by God, or that the abuser is let off the hook for what he did simply because of Christ's atonement. I am comforted in knowing that I can trust that Father in Heaven is perfectly just and merciful, and that those two concepts will prevail in the final day. Anyway, I hope this helps you in your search for peace concerning your own issues. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Best of wishes to you~ Dove

I don't think that justice takes a back seat to mercy at all~The Saviour fulfilled justice on our behalf and provided a way back that all of us can do, should we choose to do so. Also, the atonement compliments the need for opposition in our lives by being the sweet in opposition to the bitterness. Adam fell that man might be, and men are that they might have joy~The scriptures have also said that only the truly penitant are saved. To me that means that we are in a continual state of repentance, always acknowledging our lost and fallen state, were it not for the Saviour. What I'm trying to say is that, imo, thank goodness we are all subject to mercy because of the atonement, otherwise, we'd all be goners.

What a heady topic to me, it is pretty mind-boggling to think that, of the innumerable worlds God has created (pearl of Great Price), this world was the home of the Saviour. It's pretty humbling and a little hard to believe for me. I do know that the reason why the Saviour was crucified in Jerusalem was that they were the most wicked city on earth through the duration of time. But I have'nt. read where this world is considered the most wicked world of all God's worlds~do you have that reference? Good topic!

Listener, Thank you for your advice on this, it was quite informative. You're approach to this has given me comfort and hope, and makes quitting smoking more attainable to me. Thanks Again. Dove

Thank you, Lost Sheep for sharing this with me. I'm sad because you seem to be really down on yourself right now. Remember that we are given weaknesses to humble ourselves and come unto Christ, and by coming unto Him, he will make our weaknesses strengths. (Ether 12:27) Also, there is King Benjamin's speech about how we are nothing before God, and that we can, and I believe this is through the grace of Christ, have a change of heart. (Mosiah 2-5) This was after King Benjamin's people had been diligent in keeping the commandments. I hope quoting scripture isn't preachy to you. What I'm trying to say is that we all are "fools" before God, and that is the whole point of the atonement to me. He loves you so much, and we are worth more than our addictions. It's a difficult road, isn't it? Perhaps like you, I'm at a loss as to what to do to stop, other than to get up, dust myself off, and try, try again. One day at a time. For me, there's a beauty in letting go of judging myself for my sins. It's nice to step back and let Him do the judging, for He always is so loving in His judgements, never to degrade me or leave me feeling bad about myself. My experience of the Spirit has always been one of comfort and being strengthened and uplifted. While we may be "nothing" in the sight of God, I have always come away from the Spirit feeling acknowledged and valued as His child. He's on our side. We can do this :)

Thanks much for the humor, it's just what I needed. No offense meant, Traveller, but you seem so formidably knowledgable. It's nice to know you're just human too!

Hello, PC, I've enjoyed reading your posts here~and so this is not meant at all to sound like I don't want you here. I'm just wondering, why would you spend so much time hanging out here when you are a chaplain of another religion? Also, what religion do you preach from? Regardless, as I've said, I sure have appreciated the wisdom you have shown in your comments. Thank you.

I have often had a sense of things from the spiritual side. I was once told in a priesthood blessing that I have former friends in the pre-existance who went to the adversary's side, and that they were specifically assigned to tempt me because they knew me so well. That was pretty powerful and spooky to me. On the good side, I have often had a sense of loving people/spirits around me. I believe they are my deceased ancestry watching over me. Isn't the spirit world here on earth, around us? There is a whole world of spirits and spirituality~for good or ill. I can't help but feel that they are a strong, if unseen, part of our lives. We do choose to whom/what we listen to, but that doesn't mean they aren't attempting to prompt us one way or another. I think they are more than we realize.

I'm sorry, it seems you are going through a difficult time right now. I have often questioned the scripture that says "God won't give us more than we can endure," especially when I think of the Jewish children that went insane from living through the holocaust. I believe that Father will not hold us accountable for more than we are able to handle/cope with, not necessarily that we won't be presented with more than we are able to handle, especially if it is because of the unrighteous decisions of others. I just read in the Book of Mormon today that He allows the righteous to die in allowing the wicked their agency. I hope this isn't depressing for you. One thing that helps me is to let go, let go of whatever it is that is causing me to "lose it." I have thought on more than one occasion that even if I end up homeless, just breathing through the day means that I'm making it through. In one aspect of my life, G-d has kept me from making a terrible mistake. I have fought with suicidal tendencies for years. There was a time when I was planning it and getting ready to go down to the store to buy the materials needed to carry it out. Every time He has been there for me, working with me and giving me the spiritual strength to not carry it out. He has literally kept me from doing this. Sadly, this was not true for a friend of mine who did committ suicide a few years back. I wonder what the difference was between her and I. I don't know....and it hurts. She is loved and missed by a community of people. Maybe our circumstances were different, perhaps it was her time to go, or she was allowed the fulfilling of this desire. I don't know. As I was writing this, a comforting feeling came over me. It's all okay in this moment means to me that God is aware of each one of us, and He has all of our best interests at heart. His intent is to give us our hearts true and deepest desires, whatever those may be. Hope this helps Dove