without_you

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Everything posted by without_you

  1. I know it's a commandment to "Honor your father and mother", basically parents. It's just really hard to honor them when they have been missing all my life. It's like they are there but not really there. My father, who was very abusive to me in the past, also threatened our family to leave us to divorce(but never did), who beat up my siblings and me and also was emotionally abusive to us. Everything has calmed down now but time to time, he has his own tantrums. My mom is basically missing on my life. I never had a meaningful conversation with her all my life. It's like we are there but we are so far apart. It hurts so much to know that they just exist and we don't really know each other. I am about to be independent now and moving out, but I feel like this has put a lot of burden in me. I've always wanted a family but they are just not there. We don't talk, we work, come home, do our thing, and when we do talk, we argue....
  2. without_you

    If not BYU, then what college to send the kids to?

    We need more entry-level jobs in the market.
  3. without_you

    If not BYU, then what college to send the kids to?

    College is not worth it nowadays anyway. Send him to a Trade school instead. WELL WORTH IT!
  4. without_you

    If not BYU, then what college to send the kids to?

    if you're kid is inactive. When he signs up for BYU, he's going to have to accept the policy and honor code of byu. Honor Code Statement We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men....If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. (Thirteenth Article of Faith.) As a matter of personal commitment, the faculty, administration, staff, and students of Brigham Young University, Brigham Young University-Hawaii, BYU-I, and LDS Business College seek to demonstrate in daily living on and off-campus those moral virtues encompassed in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and will: Be honest Live a chaste and virtuous life Obey the law and all campus policies Use clean language Respect others Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse Participate regularly in church services Observe Dress and Grooming Standards Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code Specific policies embodied in the Honor Code include (1) the Academic Honesty Policy, (2) the Dress and Grooming Standards, (3) the Residential Living Standards, and (4) the Continuing Student Ecclesiastical Endorsement Requirement. (Refer to institutional policies for more detailed information.) https://policy.byu.edu/view/index.php?p=26 IF he's inactive, are you sure he can live by those codes if he goes to BYU? If not, but he still goes there...well I'm not to judge but...he has to follow those rules or he will get kicked out! I'm a BYUI graduate.
  5. It's not really a good thing to announce this over the internet. This is a perfect example of "Hey, we are sitting ducks", for the potential shooters. Think about it. We should have announced this only for the church goers, we should only announce this secretly among church members. Now, we are sitting ducks. I'm still bringing my smallest piece no matter what, to protect my own family and others of potential dangers anyway.
  6. My friend, a very close friend, has given up on guys. She's already 34 years old. She wants to inseminate herself from a sperm donor. She's also LDS. I'm very very very against this thing, and I care about her, I've known her for such a looooong time. We are debating over this. I've checked LDS.org, and now I'm looking for advice here. There's absolutely nothing about this on LDS.org. I should check with the Bishop, but first I should check here. What are your thoughts about this?
  7. I'm sorry if I have wrong grammars and marks on my post...I am really trying to go to sleep tonight as fast as I can....It's already 1:28 A.M. I know this is a forum for spiritual discussions and such...but I really want to type this because I have no other place to go to for advice. It's been a long journey to finding the love of my life. I'm 26, Male, college graduate (BYU)...I never ever had a real girlfriend...like a real relationship that's focused on love, understanding and all the good things that the LDS church talks about....eternal companion. When I was in high school, I was pretty much the most introverted kid. I didn't have much friends...I was the only boy in the family...I have 3 younger sisters...It was really hard. I really wished I had a brother. Growing up...we never really got along as teenagers in the family. My sisters are not that far apart in age. I was the most wayward/awkward kid. My family is all LDS, we were raised in an LDS upbringing. However, I had my rebellious days...because my father and mother were too strict that it really drove me crazy into revolt. It was almost obsessive of them to always demand things on us...like A+ grades, they expected too much of me, and never really gave me Affection for my achievements. I never heard "son, I'm really proud of you". I know it's really BETA for someone to want some affection....but we all need affection from our parents and others...we all need love...I never got that from them....they were basically "providers". They put food on the table, clothing, shelter, bought me a guitar, etc...etc... whatever I needed, wanted...I got it. The only thing missing was..affection...like my mom and dad would come home from work...and basically bail out on me and go to sleep after work or they'd go on a date...etc...like something was really missing....MAYBE a hug...:( I know it's really stupid to say that but that's really how I felt. I got bullied in school...so many times. I'd come home angry and wanting revenge from these bullies...I couldn't do anything. I really felt abandoned EMOTIONALLY when I was a kid. I was molested (at 11 yrs old) by my own cousin...I didn't know what it was till I realized and learned about sexual abuse in elementary school....I never reported it. I didn't know what to feel about it....until one day....I realized that it was really wrong what He had done to me!.............. My parents had a busy busy busy life of WORK...and never really got the time to give affection towards me.....I've read about this in Psychology...and it is true in my case...it causes a lot of self-esteem in most normal kids today...I stayed home (didn't have much friends), played my guitar, drew, played computer/videogames.... most of my days spent were inside....my parents barely allowed me to go outside. I attended swimming school and competed for the sake of it just to get away from the house...and I guess I seeked/sought approval by winning swimming matches...that was the only way I felt loved....winning. Now, when I was in BYU (college), I had the chance to be around people, classmates, away from parents...etc...this was really different in high school...because we had school dances every Tuesday and Thursday and sometimes Saturday...in which I religiously almost attended...I built my dancing skills through these classes and events. While dancing, I also had many chances in talking to women....There were so many awkward conversations...but I built my social skills through that...but when I'm not dancing....It's still hard for me to talk to people. I really tried my best to be "out there". Sometimes, after classes, I would wander around the cafeteria just to strike up a conversation. I didn't hold a job while in college because I took my parent's advice to just focus on school instead of having a job. I should've because I know that would have increased my social skills (if I worked as a cashier or anything that involved social interaction). I deeply regret not having a job while in college. It took me shorter to get my Bachelor's degree, only 3 years instead of 4 because I took more classes since not having a job has perks. So, this habit of mine, dancing, talking to women in events, striking up a random conversation, built up my social skills to the point that I thought I was really good at talking. I worked out and kept a routine, I worked hard on my grades! I practiced approaching women that I thought were attractive while in college. Most of the time, I would get rejected I know I can carry a conversation gracefully....Most of the time, they would have a boyfriend, married, refused me, and even GHOST me...that means they'd give me their numbers and never text me or call me back This really affected me because I would feel so hopeful to come home with a number from a girl..only to find out that she wouldn't even text me back!!! Now, I know I sound desperate but my approach count was about 212 women...in the campus...and I only got about 7 dates...and none of them turned to a relationship. I never had a girlfriend All I really want is this...Love, someone to love....Why is that so much to ask? I asked Heavenly Father for it and never really got anything... I would see couples, boyfriend and girlfriends in the hallway and I'd feel soooo bad about myself...wishing I had someone. Even on facebook, my BYU friends...news and updates would keep spreading from posts...that someone got married, have a boyfriend and girlfriend..and it makes me feel un-worthy, not good enough. I have a forearm tattoo...because I was being stupid and rebellious against my parents...I also got it because I had self harm scars from depression. Now that I have graduated from BYU, looking back at these memories..., It makes me really sad. I never really got I what I wanted and needed! Is it so hard to find a girlfriend? PEOPLE always say the right time will come...but I don't believe it anymore! I am really asking Him for this... It's affecting my self-esteem... Am I too ugly? Did God make me ugly? Did God give me a curse? Am I not attractive? Am I too short (I'm only 5"5, 5"6 with shoes on) I have abs, big muscles, big arms, ripped legs, good skin, etc etc...(humble brag) I have so much going on for me:( I really don't know why... Am I not good enough? but I just wanna feel loved, because my parents couldn't give it to me (emotionally) I try to stay close to Heavenly Father I kept asking Him for the same things over and over again...I'm pretty sure he's annoyed. I self-loath when I wake up every morning...hating myself... Wishing I had somebody else's face (a more handsome one?) Am I unlovable? Sometimes I think of not being born with this face, because I have such low self-esteem... I really don't know what to do... I keep thinking about plastic surgery.. maybe that will help:( Could someone help me through this? I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending spiral! I don't know where else to go to...I've seen many counselors....I don't know anymore...
  8. Anger is the display of temper. The Lord cautioned His Saints to control their anger (Matt. 5:22). Neither parent nor child should abuse others in the family. In the scriptures, anger often has the figurative image of fire (2 Ne. 15:25; D&C 1:13). And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell, Gen. 4:5. The Lord is slow to anger, and of great mercy, Ps. 145:8. A soft answer turneth away wrath, Prov. 15:1. I know that not everyone out there is Mormon, and they don't have the same standards as we do. Today, some dude just bullied me because...well racism I guess that's what it was based on all the name calling he called me and all the rude names he said about me. I waited for him to punch me first so I could counter it. That way, I could call it "Counter offense, self defense", and I would be in less trouble with the police and I can explain that to a lawyer, not that I've gotten in trouble before but I know how the law works. I really provoked my bully to hit me. I guess he wanted to but didn't because many people were around. But I am guessing this kind of stuff will happen again sometime, in the future. I don't wanna give in to anger, I have experience in MMA and Muay Boran. We've always been told not to fight outside the ring. There was a quote from a shaolin monk "The way of kung-fu is to avoid all conflicts". Jesus said to be merciful and love your neighbor? But what should I do when fists start flying? What should I do when he attempts to hit me first? Should I just be passive and run? If I run, next time he will call me a coward, I've seen this happen on Netflix. Where the bully chases the bullied. I always ask myself, what would Jesus do? But I'm not Jesus. Should I defend myself? I couldn't find any doctrine about self-defense...but I know that the Nephites did what they had to do...
  9. https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/respect-for-diversity-of-faiths It's a great article!
  10. Can church songs and christian rock/music bring the spirit to you? I was listening to LDS radio on Pandora...and I had a warm feeling of happiness because of the lyrics and melody. The song is: Peace in Christ by McKenna Hixson. I'm wondering if there's a scriptural reference to this? I'm wondering if what I felt was from the Holy Spirit?! I'm just curious! Thank you !
  11. without_you

    New movie - Ephraim's Rescue

    I can't wait to watch it! Do they make they movies in Hollywood?
  12. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    Her age and fertility has a lot to do with it. She's getting older and she might reach the age of "not being able to bear children". She worries too much about this and goes to the other option....artifical insemination. She doesn't consider adoption...She wants kids on her own...her own kid from her womb.
  13. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    Have you heard about MGTOW? These are one of the reasons LDS men go MGTOW too.
  14. I just wanted to make sure that what I'm feeling is not just emotions....but actually the Spirit.
  15. Care to share a top ten artists lists? or a top ten song list? :):)😍
  16. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    I don't know. Maybe I can convince her to take some time off
  17. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    She's a criminal defense lawyer and holds an associates in Psychology. Sometimes she has too much stuff to do. I'll try to get her involved in this. I highly doubt it she has time for herself though.
  18. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    Thank you. That was beautiful.
  19. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    What should I say to her? She keeps bring up that she won't ever get married..She thinks God has cursed her appearance....I'm really trying to help her
  20. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    Ok, I will tell her that. Thanks
  21. without_you

    Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

    Yes, but she hasn't been married. What should I say to her when she says: "Guys don't like her and no one wants to marry her". ..Like I try to understand her...and she has so many self-esteem issues because of this. I do admit she's not attractive. I know it's rude but it's just reality. Dating these days is hard. Very hard. She has tried and tried and tried so many times. She prayed for a good husband. I think it's wrong....but that might be her only choice?
  22. I know it's reading scriptures, going to church, attending church activities, praying...but is there another way that's faster? Also, when I read some scriptures and sometimes watch a general conference. I get that "burning of the bosom" feeling....How do I know that this is real and it's not just my feelings? Emotions are strong, I'm not really sure if what I felt was genuine?
  23. I meant girls. not guys. I typed so fast...that I missed that part.
  24. I know, I have very similar situation to you. There was a sister missionary that I had a crush on and it was very obvious that she liked me back because the first time I met her, we just had chemistry. It was like a "spark". Our conversations went well and such...I added her on facebook a month later after continuously going to church and seeing her and talking about stuff and getting to know her. We had a really good chemistry and I thought it was good because 99% of the time, that never happens to me! I have low self-esteem but this one sister missionary made me feel good about myself. I couldn't say anything to her about my feelings for her because she was always with her co-missionary. So I messaged her on facebook saying I wanted to date her when she's done with her mission..I got a reply...she said: "sorry, I can't answer to anything like this, if I was to say something about my feelings about you, I wouldn't say it because it would be breaking the rules. I just started my mission and I don't think you'd wanna wait a year and 8 months. I am leaving this week to another location. I am so sorry." I didn't say anything back. Because I knew what kind of trouble she would be in if her superior missionaries or authorities found out... I know it feels really bad but that's just the way how things are. I do wish you good luck. Believe it or not, I went to BYU-Idaho. and I've heard a lot of true stories that missionaries end up marrying someone they baptized. I had one buddy who served in the Philippines...and he ended up marrying a beautiful filipina from the same region he served in. He baptized her. They have a baby now and still attending college in BYU. Anything is possible. But the thing is: missionaries are not allowed to have relationships with anyone while they're on their mission. Being good friends with him might be a good idea. I really can't say....
  25. I read that booK "How not to give an F", it is insightful, obviously, it won't attract LDS readers, but I am very open-minded.