SMG

Bear in mind that all of the following is purely my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. First and foremost, I think you need to get away from your husband. He's abusing you. Pushing your buttons to get you to react explosively isn't something that someone who loves you does, period. IMNSHO, the man has had his chance and he's blown it, BIG TIME. Taking out your anger on your kids, even if it is connected with depression, is a serious no-no. Emotional hurts last ever so much longer than physical hurts, because it gets stuck in your head and plays over and over like a broken record player. Please, don't do that your children. Do you want your children to be afraid of you? (I say this as someone who has had to overcome my own fear of a relative who lashed out me as a child. I wouldn't wish the hurt I felt on anyone. ) Please, don't turn to illegal drugs or substance abuse. It will do more harm than it could ever help. The most important part, IMO, is to stop being angry at YOURSELF. It is in the past, you can't go back and change it. All any person can do is to do what they can in the here and now. Love yourself. I know that may seem hard to do, at times. I've been waist deep in self hatred, myself. Pray, let Heavenly Father know you need His aid. No one ever said we had to go through our ordeals in life totally alone. Don't give up on yourself, because the Savior and Heavenly Father won't give up on you! Do you have anyone who could help you in the form emotional support or help you find ways to get help? If you feel one source isn't helping you, try another. You are in my prayers.

I love your new daughter's name! Congrats! =)

I am soooo e-mailing this to my Mom, she loves things like that!

To the OP- My father was also an avid crafter. He knew how to knit, crotchet, cross-stitch, how to work a sewing machine and even cook! Did I mention he also worked on the railroad? He learned all of these things from his mother and his aunt. He taught my brother how to do these things. In turn, my brother taught me how to crochet. You are in very good company and should in no way feel "less manly!" I'm a lady and I'm petty hopeless with all fabric related crafts aside from crochet. I keep hurting myself unintentionally with knitting needles, sewing machines, emboidary needles, etc. Anything beyond replacing a button or putting on an iron patch, and I'm hopeless in the sewing arena! In short, I'm a KLUTZ! This perplexes my family, seeing as both my parents are/were very craft gifted. My mother whips out a quilt a week unless she's feeling ill!

The parable of the Prodigical Son. Always makes me stop and think, as well as get misty eyed.

I don't miss: - High school - Being depressed and sick - Being excluded (still am, just too tired to give a rat's behind about it now) - Not knowing what I want to do with my life

If it were in defense of my own life, or the life of another, yes. Any other instance, NO.

Welcome to the site! =)

Welcome! I'm a shy one, too!

Thanks for posting this. =)

I think anti-depressants need to be handled very, very carefully and used VERY sparingly. They have helped many people. I, however, was not one of them. Doctors are too quick to give out anti-depressants, if you ask me.

In my ward, it is typically limited to 18 to 31.. older folks have to get permission from the bishop. I wish it weren't so, because I like it when the older folks come, they add more to the discussions than folks my age do, LOL!

Thanks, I needed a laugh today! But in regard to SSA, I am terribly conflicted. Some of my best friends are "gay" or "bi" and seem to be better human beings than some "straights" that I know. I want to follow the teachings of the prophets but I also want my friends to be able to do what makes them happiest. Personally, it feels like a tough spot to be in.

Perhaps this is out of left field... but this made me think of how the Nile river delta floods. May it referred to the annual floods that were essential to raising food crops along its banks?

I know what you mean about your focus wandering. Mine does it quite often. I usually get that way when I'm bored or burnt out. Assignments from class that would only be 15-20 minutes tops to complete can take me an hour or more if I can't focus! Even something as simple as reading a chapter in a text book becomes tedious and time-consuming! I find that getting angry at myself isn't helpful. I just try to break down the "yucky" task that I can't focus on into smaller steps. Do 2 or 3 steps, take a break, do 2 or 3 more, etc. I also find that "bribing" myself with a reward for also works. Just be sure to only reward yourself AFTER the job is done. Those are just my 2 bits, I hope it helps!

Aravis - Sometimes you have to be blunt with parents. It several repetitions of "Will you stop bringing up that subject, Mom? You're only making me feel WORSE about it." before she got a hint. =(

Welcome!

I won't be seeing a cent of my rebate. Using it to put a payment on my loan. At least it will be that much less interest I have to pay off when I graduate. >.<

Some of us grew up in homes where our parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/siblings/etc swore enough to make sailors tell them to watch their language. (As a side note, I DO have a friend in the navy and he HAS told me to watch my language! *blush*) Believe me when I say that I could come up with a whole lot worse than "heck, darn, dang, frack and crap." In fact, my first word was a curse word. Some of us have a harder time than others dropping the habit, but it doesn't mean that our testimonies of the Savior and church are any less than other people's.

Food has a very big impact on our moods! I've been reading quite a bit about it these past few weeks. Overly processed foods are stuffed with loads of starches and sugars, which are good for SHORT term energy boosts, but will leave a person feeling sluggish and tired afterwards. Things that take longer to break down and use, such as fats and proteins, will give you a longer lasting energy boost. But remember to get a decent amount to sleep, because no amount of food or stimulants can overcome the effects of accumulated sleep deprivation! I'd be jumping for joy over kids who willingly eat veggies that aren't deep fried and breaded!

Congrats!

Welcome, brother. =)

That is evil. Lock these girls up until they are old enough to draw social security checks!! Bullies aren't rational and these girls are bullies, don't mistake it!

Welcome!

I am not the most forgiving woman that God has ever made. Please take my opinion with a grain of salt. That being said, here is what I think: I read your post and I believe that for your own personal safety, and more importantly, the safety of your children, that you need to get away from this man. Divorcing him or not should be a choice only made after much prayer and consideration. But if you ask me, you should be gone YESTERDAY. He blamed you for his shortcomings or "non-progression" in the church. He's had an affair. You said yourself, he acts as if it is nothing. HE PHYSICALLY HURT YOU. When is this cycle going to stop? What if he lashes out at your children next? A good father does not hurt the mother of his children. A good husband does not cheat cheat on his wife. A good father/husband does not blame other people for his own personal shortcomings. A good father/husband loves his wife and treats her with respect. Has he done that? Is he honestly willing to seek and stick to a treatment program to deal with his problems? If it were me, I'd be taking the children and moving far far away, as in to the opposite side of the country if possible! But as I said, I'm not terribly forgiving. I've seen too many of my aunts and female cousins stay in abusive relationships that go from bad to worse. Year after year, I'd see a cousin or an aunt coming to a family get-together wearing WAY too much making up and KNOW she was trying to hide the latest bruise(s) her husband or boyfriend gave her. I have no kindness in my heart for men who willfully hurt the women who love them the most.