notquiteperfect

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Posts posted by notquiteperfect

  1. So I spent time today perusing another forum and came across a number of posts suggesting how close we are to destruction.  In some ways I can see that but we still have so much temple/family history work to do as well as the fact that the Gospel hasn't gotten to every 'tongue and people' yet.  So what's your take?

    Also, I have a difficult time going here in my mind because it just makes me toss aside anything that won't last. I get a 'what's the point' mentality that's hard to break out of.  Any ideas on this so I can prepare without dropping everything else?  I just have a difficult time straddling 'men are that they might have joy' and 'it's not going to matter when you're home is flooded, etc'.  Thanks.

  2. Can't offer anything as far as brand, etc. but will share this instead because sometimes the issue isn't the car seat - 

     

    I once vt someone who recently became a grandma.  She mentioned how the little tyke would cry and cry every time they were put in the car.  They heard of a local chiropractor that offered free consults for infants so they decided it was worth a try.  Sure enough, the chiropractor did his thing and the baby was fine in the car from then on.

  3. Excellent input already and agree with yacket about depression and/or an addiction possibly being the undercurrent of this.  Which leads me to wonder - is he happy with his job or anything else in his life?  I ask because it may just be that you and the church are the easier targets.  Also, this may be a rough patch but two months is hardly enough time to be wondering if you should 'give in and give up'.

  4. Welcome to the Church (and forum)!
     

    I understand your concern/frustration.  All I will say is that your bishop is new.  There's usually quite a learning curve for them and it takes a while to figure out how to do/go about everything.  They also tend to be quite overwhelmed with all that needs to be done and kept track of.  Also, not every bishop is a natural leader so give him a (second or third) chance and let him know how eager you are to get his support and insights.

  5. Does anyone know where I could go to search for songs by topic?  I'm not looking for hymns and I'm not familiar with the latest contemporary artists.  Is there an online radio station, for example, where I could type 'Jesus Christ / Resurrection' and a list of songs would come up with listen samples?  I hope that makes sense.  Thanks for any input.

  6. Notquiteperfect: 

     

    You mentioned that traditional, 1950's type roles would cause resentment. If your husband came home and said, you know what. I want to be a stay at home dad, i don't want to work and provide for this family, in fact I think these "traditional" gender roles is nothing more than social constructs. You need to go out and work and provide for the family and I will be the stay at home dad. What would be your reaction? Perhaps you might support such a thing, but I presume that most women would not. 

     

    That being said, would you say that your husband primarily does the "masculine"  jobs around the house? If so, then I think you find it tremendously attractive when he helps out doing traditional "feminine" activities.  As the study says, women want their husband to "help out around the house," but they want them to fill the masculine role. although the study does not say this, I believe that women are more attracted to their husbands when they primarily focus on the "masculine roles," than help out their wives doing "feminine" chores.  This is a theory of mine, what are your thoughts? 

     

    Actually, my husband would be *fabulous* at home but he chose a career that pays well and is one that he enjoys and is great at. Furthermore, since women make less than men, it doesn't make as much sense for me to do the 'providing'.  As far as what my reaction would be - I'm actually quite bothered that I'm expected to want to be home.

    My husband does whatever I need him to do.  There have been times when I've handled the power drill while he did the mundane tasks and other times where he's more suited to doing the 'heavy lifting'.  Also, I don't view things as being 'more or less attracted' - just more or less annoyed.

    But enough about me.  Studies are stupid.  Too many are not thorough, biased, slanted and disprove a previous study (showing that they're not reliable).  So - I think people should ignore 'studies' and just do what works for them!

  7. Hogwash!

    My husband enjoys cooking - I do not!  If we were to do things according to traditional gender roles - resentment would kill any possibility to ever get 'in the mood'.

    On the flip side - my friend is stuck in a marriage where the husband sees things in a traditional (ie 1950s) way and you guessed it - resentment abounds which does not for a happy marriage make!

  8. It will be the best spent two years of your life.

     

    If you have the right perspective, it might not be the most fun two years of your life, but it will be the best.  :-)

     

    Again, disagree - on two fronts:

     

    - the mission experience 

    - marriage

     

    To explain the latter, even if my husband had an amazing mission, if he still referred to that as his best two years/best spent two years I'd look at him and ask where he ranks our marriage!

     

    (our marriage isn't perfect - no one's is - but church leaders have said that *nothing* can surpass that relationship - the experience or the lessons learned)

  9. I grew up being taught not to turn down a calling but I guess that's better than not going to church at all.

     

    Yep!

     

    And maybe look at it this way - with you available to fill one of the above positions, for example, that would free someone else up to take on a new calling who might actually prefer a teaching role.   Win-win.

  10. Go back and tell them you'd love to serve in the Nursery.  (it's the best calling in the church!)  Yes, there's a lesson but it's short and you basically hold up and picture and talk about it.

    Other callings: clerk (ward, financial, membership), exec sec, em prep coordinator, ward bulletin person, music chair/choir director, pianist/organist, indexing director, family history consultant, not to mention all the stake callings (too many to mention).  This is just a sampling but it takes a lot to help the Kingdom function and there's something for everyone.

     

    As far as the temple - the workers don't know how long it's been, they see 'newbies' all the time and they're there to help.  No biggie.
     

  11. Welcome!  

     

    As far as someone being accepting of marrying a convert - if they're not, they're not worth marrying, imo.  I would hope that this wouldn't be an issue but I'm sure you'll find some (including parents) who think otherwise. 

    As far as not serving a mission and being looked down upon by a future spouse (and parents) - again, same as above. Also, I'd remind them that there are some General Authorities who are converts as well as General Authorities who didn't serve a mission. That should help them rethink their position.

     

    As far as members looking down on you for not serving a two year mission - anyone who does (which I hope would be few if any) isn't worth your time and would be in need of a refresher course of some Gospel principles.  In other words, this is their problem, not yours.
     

    Basically, anywhere you go there are a few bad apples but you can't worry about that.  You just need to do what feels right to you and ignore the rest.

    Hope that helps.