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Found 6 results

  1. My male cousin was just asked for a divorce by his wife. she sent him a text then changed her phone number and email address and told him to deal with her father for details of the divorce. they had a temple marriage and were married less than one year. they had moved out of state for his job and she was homesick and erratic in her moods. none of us really liked her because she was standoffish and never acted like she liked us. she would refuse to talk to him for days if he would not do just what she asked. she would call and gossip about him on the phone with her mom for hours and hours. she told her mom that he was controlling and was always telling her what to do. they got a very quick divorce and she immediately started dating good returned missionaries. Their bishop, who she had spoken to, said that she wanted a divorce because she just couldn't stand how he was always right and wouldn't listen to her feelings. He wouldn't go to counseling because he didn't think that they needed it. He recognizes now that he should have listened to that. there was no abuse in the marriage. they often stayed with us when traveling back here and it seems to me that she was the one that had all the control with her changes in moods and jerking him all over. I am not active LDS, but can't figure out how someone can get such a quick divorce, date and the church and all these returned missionaries are okay with this. doesn't the LDS church believe in divorce is forever? don't they offer counseling? I can't figure out how she ended up with no consequences and he is devastated. will she be allowed to marry one of these guys she is dating in the temple?
  2. Hi, I would like some advice , dont really know where to start, i guess from the beggining... I dated my husband for 4 years before marrying him in the temple 8 months ago. We are both 24. I had been lds most of my life and he baptized afte 2 years of dating. I was not living the gospel when I met him and we had problems with the Low of Chastity and WOW. We tried to change that, we confessed, the bishop told us not to think about the past and stop the bad habits. We did it almost for a year but a month before the wedding it happened again. I started having second thoughts about the wedding, may be my parents felt it and told me that I was still on time to call it off but I was to ashamed and I made what I think is the worst mistake of my life. I lied in the interview and got married. Since we married I have been depressed and my husband and I dont agree in anythin we just keep fighiting and fighting. The first two months we really tried to overcome the problems but at the end we just gave up and (is not a excuse) we went back to drinking (it's almost the only time when we agree and get along) and we just go to church ocassionally. Our marriage is so messed up that we had fought and I mean like physical fights, this is so not normal. I just want to get out of this situation, cant stand it anymore. And to make things worst now that we are married I dont feel attraction to my H, I even feel somehow repulsed by him or the thought of intimacy (and this is one of the main problems) I think it is because of the guilt, and he doesnt understand why I changed that. Right now Iam sleeping uppstairs and he is downstairs. I dont think I love my H anymore. Oh, and going to the bishop is not an option, my H would never go with him cause they had an argument sometime ago, and they dont talk to each other. We had considered counseling, we talked about it last week , we wanted to work on our relationship after a HUGE fight and we actually tried , we read a book on marriage and it was working but then everythin started falling apart,. AGAIN, as many times before. I wannna write a letter to request temple cancellation, confess that I lied and may be the marriage isnt even valid buty I dont have the courage to do it. My H doesnt want me to write the letter
  3. I've been married for 4 years. We met when I was a freshmen in college at age 18 and he was 21. He was my first love. Our problems started little by little. The first real eye opener began on our honeymoon. We lost our luggage on our way to our Cancun beach resort so it all started off with a huge bummer. My husband did not take it well. He became very depressed and just sat in our hotel room most of the time and he was just very cold to me. I cared that our luggage was stolen but I didn't matter more than the opportunity we had to spend time together on the warm beaches I tried to encourage him to get out of the room. We were there for 5 days and it wasn't until two days in that his mood started to change. I'ts always been a sad memory for me. Within the first 3 months I found out he was addicted to pornography and had huge doubts about the church so I would was going to church alone every week most of the time with tears in my eyes because I saw my dream of a righteous husabnd and a happy family being taken away from me. I felt totally betrayed and hurt and a thousand other feelings I had never experienced before. In the beginning he told me he wanted to overcome the problem and wanted to be a better member of the church but he mostly just talked about it. When it came down to doing these things he would come up with an excuse to not do them. For example he consistently would complain about his back hurting that he could not go to church, I believe he did have pain but his back but it only held him back from going to church or something he didn't want to do. I saw right through that and it made me angry. At one time he told me that he had stopped with the pornography. But later he confessed that he had lied to me. This has been a constant thing. When I talk about it with him he mostly told me what he knew I wanted from him. Like" I've been doing better" "I want to change so we can be happy". This last week I asked him how he was doing. (this is never easy for me) He was very open to me that he doesn't think giving up pornography is going to make anything better for him or for me. I told him that most of my disappointment and sadness in our marriage comes from that and that I think he could be happier if he gives it up. But he became defensive and told me I didn't know how it affects him or what he would feel without it and we got into a fight. Along with the pornography he constantly shuts me out and ignores me when we have an argument. Gets upset about the smallest thing I do wrong, rarely has a positive attitude, is not very open with me, never plans anything with me, he ignores his family and I have to struggle to get him to participate in activities with my family. He's seen a therapist once but has not gone back and he refuses to take any medication. I don't think things are ever going to change because he seems as though he already has his mind made up. I want a worthy priesthood holder in our home, I want someone to be with me during church and share the same values as I do. I want someone who will be able to find the good in things in life. I was a happy person who never felt depressed before we were married. Now I feel like I'm in a dark hole with no way out and I struggle every day to keep it together. As much pain as I have I still do love my husband and I want to help him. But I don't know if it is enough love right now to make things work. I am completely exhausted with this relationship a lot of the time I think I want to get a divorce. But then I think that there has got to be some way to change this and I don't want to give up on him. Anyone have any suggestions that could help me?
  4. I love him still . with all my heart.he gave me no other choice. my heart broke into pieces asking him for a divorce. 18 years. i would of followed him to hell and back. he drank.he cheated on me emotionally with women he met on the Internet and skype. he passed out drunk at our daughters 8th birthday party(4yrs ago). we were always in debt. always lying abt money or borrowing it from family or friends. i dont think he ever payed tithing.Now that i am on my own i pay it regulary like clockwork. he took his best friends side when he defiled our home and our childs room. and i just found out his friend was looking at porn on our family computer in the middle of the day in the middle of our kitchen,my oldest son walked in on him.he wasnt always like this. something has changed him. he would come home,(his job has him moved away for now.)and just make me miserable, he was good sometimes tho, he never hit me or the kids, went to all the boys football games. we always had a roof over our heads. counseling was out of the question. we talked to our bishop a couple of times 3 yrs ago and he said he was all for counseling. but we never went. I know i did the right thing. but looking on these boards now i wonder if i didnt try hard enough. did i try everything? this is the man who i started my life with this is the man who gave me four beautiful children who cut their cords.who climbed into bed with me after my emergency csection and cried together because we didnt know if our baby was gona live. he was my best friend. he was my hero. and now that i have asked and we r in the process, 2 months ago. He has girlfriends, he visits and skypes and facebooks. as soon as i asked he was gone out the door.,.And i miss him. i miss my friend. i miss holding his hand.And he is angry and hates me. we cant be in the same house together. now i wonder reading this what the heck is wrong with me?but on the other hand he is my husband and i took vows infront of god to be with him for eternity. and i take my vows very seriously.He is not the same man. but i know that he is in there somewhere i know that he can be that man again. soo i just want some advice.Do i just let him go. do i fight for my family and marriage. I cannot make him change. and maybe he doesnt want to change. maybe he likes this new self. i was a good wife,I didnt cook all the time or put laundry away,i yelled at the kids. but i never once looked or thought of another person besides my husband . I am as loyal and faithful as they come. there are days when i just cry and then there are the days when i just cant beleive how blessed me and the kids are. its like we are living in this beautiful paradise and the only thing we are missing is him. I think how could anyone walk away from this, look at this home we have made. look at this family. who walks away from this without a fight?.. enough ranting. some advice please. thanks .
  5. My ex-wife and I got divorced about 10 years ago. We have been living in different states for several years now, and I am looking at moving to live near her so that I can be close to my child. She has been telling me that it would be best if we were not in the same Ward or even the same Stake. Does anyone know of anything that the church has published, or any talks by the general authorities that would support or refute this? To me it seems that for my daughter, it would be best if she didn't have to jump from ward to ward and from Stake to Stake. Didn't have to create two separate groups of friends, and deal with separate teachers. We have all gotten along very well. Please someone give me some information that I can use to research this. I want to do what is best for my daughter, regardless of whether it is comfortable for me. Thanks much in advance. Bean
  6. Mormon Temple Marriages have only 6% Divorce Rate Grace for Grace