prospectmom Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 Do any of you feel that no matter what you do it is never going to be enough ... There is always someone cutting you down no matter how hard you try to rise above..... I feel I don't belong anywhere and well just feel hopeless......... I pretend alot I am a great pretender for my kids , my husband, people I meet..... I always try to act as if ................ think positive, be positive, its not working...... I pray often and study my scriptures........... If I wasn't a member I wouldn't be alive not because I think suicide is a sin but I am not ready to face my Father in Heaven as a failure. I would rather suffer here than face him. I can lift others up and be a positive influence to others but can't seem to follow my own advice........... Im tired of just enduring I want the joy and happiness too ....... not sure I will ever find it........ not giving up just not able to move forward Quote
siouxz72 Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 awww...pmom! sorry to hear you're feeling so bad today. And I hope this is not out of line, but have you thought about talking to someone professional? maybe someone who could help determine if it's a chemical thing making you feel this way? there are a lot of professionals out there that can help! Quote
prospectmom Posted July 9, 2008 Author Report Posted July 9, 2008 Oh of course some of it is chemical and always have been I hate taking meds and am not on any at this time and am doing my best to deal with it in a more natural way....... I been councilled to death and really end up telling what they want to hear or what I have learned in books or other councilling sessions..... Right now I am on my own with this one I won't give up I just am really struggling right now Quote
siouxz72 Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 lol! councilled to death! love it!! you know...they have stuff at the vitaminshop that helps, too. like a mix to help your mood. what about that? not so chemical. more natural. i got some for my son who gets really overwhelmed easily. has to do with being an overachiever and somewhat ocd. it's helped Quote
siouxz72 Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 or...i know! whenever you're feeling blue, just think about us and turn that frown upside down! yay! :) Quote
prospectmom Posted July 9, 2008 Author Report Posted July 9, 2008 yes I am taking more B's, Soy and St John's wart Quote
PinkCow Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 I'm sending you a great big hug! And some flowers, because they always make me feel better, and I hope that they make you feel better too! Quote
PapilioMemnon Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 HiI found a talk years ago that helped me a lot as I listed carefully to what she said, and followed the steps. Perhaps, it could also help you:Link: Audio FormatsI listened to it quite a few times, wrote down stuff, and followed the promptings I received as well as sought the enabling & strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ which is what enabled me to get "out of it," and strengthened me.I also identified some things I needed to repent of, even though I thought they didn't matter; well, they did matter after all! Our spiritual health has a lot of impact in our body because of its obvious closeness.I hope it works for you... Continue praying, and ask the Lord to enable you through the Atonement to get out of it or receive strength to bear it.I wish you the best! You're in my prayers! Quote
prospectmom Posted July 9, 2008 Author Report Posted July 9, 2008 I love hugs and flowers seperate and especially together Thanks for the audio Papillo Quote
MrNirom Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 (edited) I love hugs and flowers seperate and especially together Edited July 10, 2008 by MrNirom Quote
prospectmom Posted July 10, 2008 Author Report Posted July 10, 2008 Thank You Thank you so sweet Quote
Palerider Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 Thank You Thank you so sweet I am not sure if this wil help you...when I feel like I have been given all I can handle I will read in the Doctrine and Covenants where Joseph Smoth was locked up on Liberty Jail. Think about that...there he was for 6 months in jail...not able to see his wife and kids....he took time to pray and was told your trial will be only for a short duration....to me 6 months being locked up is not a short time....anyway....it makes me feel better after I read and ponder that section. Hang in there....The Lord loves you and cares about you. Quote
jadams_4040 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 Do any of you feel that no matter what you do it is never going to be enough ... There is always someone cutting you down no matter how hard you try to rise above..... I feel I don't belong anywhere and well just feel hopeless......... I pretend alot I am a great pretender for my kids , my husband, people I meet..... I always try to act as if ................ think positive, be positive, its not working......I pray often and study my scriptures........... If I wasn't a member I wouldn't be alive not because I think suicide is a sin but I am not ready to face my Father in Heaven as a failure. I would rather suffer here than face him.I can lift others up and be a positive influence to others but can't seem to follow my own advice........... Im tired of just enduring I want the joy and happiness too ....... not sure I will ever find it........ not giving up just not able to move forward What really helps me is to get more involved in the church I;E go home teaching {visiting teaching for you} sharing in {church} meetings about my opinions and knowledge of scripture. and helping someone else thru down times by conveying just how wonderfull and beautifull heavenly fathers promises are when we do all we can and should be doing. by living all the commandments. When i have others around whom do not posses spirit very well, {some family members} i constantly am looking for ways to let them know what they are missing. and that does get very touchy at times, so one must be very tactfull. but its great fun and very fullfilling in spiritual blessings of comfort and counsel from heavenly father.And also it helps to get books, {very few are helpfull, but once in awhile i find a real gem} usually one by the likes of Legrand Richards, {marvelous work and wonder}, Articles of faith, {james e talmadege} e,t,c....And "compiling" l.d.s proof of doctrine is a very good one too. i have a very nice resorvoir of information to reffer to when speaking to non l.d.s. its really quite helpfull and satisfying to put even the smallest little glimpse of truth in a persons mind and spirit. And of course probably the biggest help ever is inviting the spirit into our home and lives. attending a baptism of someone we dont even know, just to enjoy the spirit. getting conferance tickets, WOW! i love to go to conferance! how uplifting! And worthy temple attendance, making "all" our meetings, becoming and staying worthy, {what a blessing!}. Bearing testimony to someone whom needs to hear. Now of course everyones circumstances are differant. but i know and have felt the power of truths known by worthy l.d.s. and it is the most powerfull and beautifull force known on the earth. The advesary is working and doing everything he can do to stop members such as yourself froim attaining the promised blessings. There is only one thing in the world that "can" and "will" bring you more peace, happiness, comfort,understanding, success, and knowledge ,than anything else on the earth, and that thing is found in the church and the Holy preisthood. It is the Holy Ghost and his confirmations of truths that make us whole and happy, there is no other way in todays world where one will find true fullfillment and happiness. Me and my wife will put you in our prayer tonight.:) Quote
ruthiechan Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 You know it's funny (as in strange or interesting) that you posted this. I was just telling my husband that I am the opposite of SAD (seasonal affected disorder). I do not get depressed during the winter, I get depressed during the summer. Though my winters are not full of snow just lots of cold and rain and morning ice. I dunno if that makes a difference. . . But summer? Oy, talk about not feeling like I can do anything. The only outside thing I can do in the middle of the day is swimming because the water keeps me cool. I am just miserable in the summer. I have such a hard time being motivated to do anything. I do know what you mean about being the great pretender. The only one who can see through me now is my husband. If I think too hard about Christ returning, I freak out. I am not ready either. I feel like I'm a failure, I see all my faults, all the things I did wrong, what I could have done better. . . It helps that I have my husband, so mayhaps you should let him know what's going on in your head. That way he can support you. I talk back to myself. I tell myself that my anxieties is satan trying to get me down, which I do believe. That vile one will use our physical and emotional problems to lead us away. I sing. Well, normally it's humming, but when music is coming out of your mouth it's harder to be so down. I listen to the song Dogs on a Beach by Nobuo Uematsu on his Phantasmagoria album. I used to hate that song when I was severely depressed, but it's hard not to feel better when you listen to it. The whole album is great. I also listen to power, make the blood moving type music to get me to move and actually do something. I also sing hymns. I find something I can do that's righteous and good. Sometimes I just read a book. I also catch myself when I start saying stupid things, like, "I'm never happy" or some such. The book that helps me is called Healing Anxiety and Depression by Dr. Daniel G. Amen and Dr. Lisa Routh. Anyway, I feel I am rambling, which may have something to do with this subject being so close to my heart. *hugs* You are in my prayers. Quote
bytor2112 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 Do you feel this way about your "church" life- never enough or all aspects of life? Quote
prospectmom Posted July 10, 2008 Author Report Posted July 10, 2008 pale thanks I do know my trials are small compared and your right it does help to read.......... jsdams.......... you are right helping others is a great way also I am trying kind of isolated where I live but am involved as much as I can be and rewading .... and praying really do help.................. thanks ruthie ... you do understand thank you love the hugs Quote
prospectmom Posted July 10, 2008 Author Report Posted July 10, 2008 bytor my unhappiness isn't really church based ........ i would feel the same if I was any othe faith Its personal ........... my expectations my shortcomings, my battle with depression I am working on it I just felt like such an iimposter listening supporting others , all the while I am battling my own demons..... You know just by venting and the interaction from all my cyber family has been a great help and I am formulating a plan........ Quote
bytor2112 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 We all have demons to battle....... I myself struggle with some form of anxiety and am a bit compulsive and overthink everything. I can create something out of nothing in my mind pretty quickly and then I will dwell on it till it becomes a reality, at least in my head. But, if it is in your head... it is reality? This site has helped me a lot. You know you must be a really awesome and special person to have been able to receive the gospel and more importantly, to strive to live it. Remember you have a special purpose here in mortality. A great work to perform for Heavenly Father. We can't all be Joseph Smith or General Authorities, but make no mistake that you are here for a very special reason. Maybe its to raise up a righteous posterity or to help bring someone to the Gospel, who knows. But, you are special.... from a Royal bloodline and joint heirs with the Savior to receive all that our Father in Heaven has to bestow on us.Hang in there and remember that we are just visitors here and one day.... sooner than we think, we will be going home.:):):) Quote
prospectmom Posted July 10, 2008 Author Report Posted July 10, 2008 Thank you so much you are right and I know it just get caught up in this worldly mess Quote
prospectmom Posted July 10, 2008 Author Report Posted July 10, 2008 Wow I just re-read all the posts to my problem.................. You all are awsome.............. Such love... compassion.... kind words........ support................. encouragement............ and of course hugs and flowers..... I am moved beyond words and feel lifted up by all the prayers on my behalf............. WOW.............. Part of my problem is I am not working, so use to juggling time, now I have the whole day........... so I am working on a schedule.............. exercise.......... and prayer and scripture study at the forfront. I will update as it comes together...... Thanks is not enough for what all of you collectivly have done for me.......... Blessings and peace to you always Quote
prospectmom Posted July 10, 2008 Author Report Posted July 10, 2008 Pale thanks for the reading advice.... I just read this talk from April conference it can be found on LDS.org Concern for the One Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Wow just what I needed to hear Quote
StrawberryFields Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 One thing that can be considered natural therapy is to turn up some music and dance. I also like music in general to lift my spirits. Something else that makes me SEE if I have had a good day is to write stuff down and cross it off.:) Be patient with yourself and know that nobody is perfect.... at least who is still on this earth. Hugs SF Quote
prospectmom Posted July 10, 2008 Author Report Posted July 10, 2008 Strawberry you are so right today is a good day............ you know sometimes you need to cry and let it out and then regroup I am now in the regrouping stage........... writing stuff down works for me but haven't done it in a while THANKS for the reminder Music for sure a love of mine .... I listend to some last night on BYUTV Love those hugs ......... hugs back to you and my deepest appreciation Quote
tefor Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 There are always people in the Church that have their own particular hangups that they think everybody should adhere to: one might really be into Scouting but know nothing about the doctrines; another might be a doctrinal scholar but have no life skills at all. One might be heavily into investing but detest home teaching, while another is obsessed with politics but has no faith in the Atonement. And so it goes... The wise person will keep the various elements of gospel living in balance and in perspective, remembering that each one shifts in and out of prominence as the current need dictates. Most of all, the wise and charitable person will realize that we are all works in progress and that "man shall not judge." (Yeah, I'm the scriptorian with no life skills.) Quote
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