Question!

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

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[Moksha]

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Eat what and die???

Hey, what would happen if men and women would practice reflective listening with each other?

[Vort]

This is what someone told me once.

When women make love, they are truly doing just that--making love. It is their way of expressing their most intimate and profound feelings for him, giving him the ultimate gift she can, including her soul. And afterwards, she just wants to sink into that love while he holds her, and she knows he is so happy to be near her, so happy he found her, and so happy he loves her.

When men make love, it's an event: Spent and show over.

Whoever told you that doesn't have a clue to how men operate.

Sex is the deepest way a man can both express and feel his love toward his spouse (or other sex "partner"). If you've wondered why men tend to be "sex addicts" more often than women, or why a promiscuous man often seems more "messed up" than a promiscuous woman, well, there's your reason. Women can more easily disattach themselves from the act of sex, where for a man, that's almost impossible.

Unfortunately, in my experience, very few men and almost no women understand this most basic fact about men.

[Guest tomk]

Me guy. Me fix things. Me lift heavy things. Me hunt (or work) for food and things. Girl say, "this is my problem," me think, "How to fix". Girl no want "fix", want guy to listen. Girl want guy to be supportive. Me, like other guys, go into man cave to fix problems. Me not know girl no want fix.

Me go lift a heavy thing now.

Sums it up nicely! Grunt Grunt. Me like those words. Me agree!

[Guest tomk]

From this month's First Presidency Message:

The other warning is to beware of pride. Unity which comes to a family or to a people softened by the Spirit will bring great power. With that power will come recognition from the world. Whether that recognition brings praise or envy, it could lead us to pride. That would offend the Spirit. But there is a protection against pride, that sure source of disunity. It is to see the bounties which God pours upon us not only as a mark of His favor but an opportunity to join with those around us in greater service. A husband and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them. In the same way, we can unite with those who do not accept our doctrine but share our desire to bless the children of our Heavenly Father.

[LDSgirl]

Sums it up nicely! Grunt Grunt. Me like those words. Me agree!

Funny guys!

[LDSgirl]

From this month's First Presidency Message:

The other warning is to beware of pride. Unity which comes to a family or to a people softened by the Spirit will bring great power. With that power will come recognition from the world. Whether that recognition brings praise or envy, it could lead us to pride. That would offend the Spirit. But there is a protection against pride, that sure source of disunity. It is to see the bounties which God pours upon us not only as a mark of His favor but an opportunity to join with those around us in greater service. A husband and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them. In the same way, we can unite with those who do not accept our doctrine but share our desire to bless the children of our Heavenly Father.

See, I knew you were not like that caveman in the auto insurance commerical! Good job!:)

[dazed-and-confused]

ok...i have read the responses to your post.....i must say that elphaba's really annoyed me......it's sad to think that men are not emotional/spiritual beings...as many women believe THEY are.......the fact is...you are young...and driven by both hormones and perhaps the preasure of the church to get married and produce children and live happily ever after..........so...ok....GUYS dont have a clue........do YOU?.......what do you want.......a hot guy, with a good job, who will take care of you, and live happily ever after......nice dream....but life has a way of being different than mere...yes, mere....dreams......and women think MEN are shallow........give me a break............look...you are young and have only an inkling of life......take your time......decide what YOU want in a guy.....as a responsable and spiritually mature LDS woman......decide what's most important to you and use THAT as your criteria for choosing a husband......and when..and IF,,,you can do that.....you will be happy AND fulfilled

[LDSgirl]

ok...i have read the responses to your post.....i must say that elphaba's really annoyed me......it's sad to think that men are not emotional/spiritual beings...as many women believe THEY are.......the fact is...you are young...and driven by both hormones and perhaps the preasure of the church to get married and produce children and live happily ever after..........so...ok....GUYS dont have a clue........do YOU?.......what do you want.......a hot guy, with a good job, who will take care of you, and live happily ever after......nice dream....but life has a way of being different than mere...yes, mere....dreams......and women think MEN are shallow........give me a break............look...you are young and have only an inkling of life......take your time......decide what YOU want in a guy.....as a responsable and spiritually mature LDS woman......decide what's most important to you and use THAT as your criteria for choosing a husband......and when..and IF,,,you can do that.....you will be happy AND fulfilled

Thanks for the post! I know that there is truth in what you say. Don't worry.....I'm not going to just jump blindly into marriage. I'm going to finish high school and college first, but hopefully along the way I will learn how to honestly judge and better understand the opposite gender! :)

[deydream]

Just finished reading a book by Dr. Gary Chapman. AMAZING STUFF!!! For once in my life I've felt some hope for the possibility of staying happy with one person for good. We'll always be different, but learning to speak each other's love language makes it possible to actually enjoy the ways that we're different.

"The 5 love languages" is a great book. It has greatly helped to improve my marriage & helped me to communicate better.

As for being married.... over much time, I have come to understand my husband better, and how to communicate with him, so he understands me. I'll let you know some of my observations that have taken me 12 years..... Most can be applied to dating.

-Whatever I am doing when my H gets home, that is what he thinks I have been doing all day, even if I just sat down for 5 minutes, but had been doing house work the rest of the day.

-When I tell him about my day, I am precise and to the point so that he can easily follow me. I try to spare him too many girly details, so that his thoughts won't wander off.

-I don't expect him to guess what I am feeling. If I need something, I tell him exactly what I need..."like I need help folding laundry", instead of saying "I need more help around the house."

-I try to thank him for everything he does, especially menial tasks, like taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, filling up the car with gas..... No one wants to feel they are being taken for granted. Usually, he will reciprocate so I don't feel taken for granted.

-Service: It is important to serve others, but more importantly, let him serve you. I made the mistake of not letting my husband serve me, and it didn't take long before I was being taken for granted. Don't let anything get to be one sided. Don't expect them to always be the leader. If he asks what you want to do, don't say "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Initiate a dialoge of several things you would find interesting, and decide together.

Edited September 9, 2008 by deydream
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