A little different hello

[dunno2]

Hi~

My reason for visiting this site is probably a little different than most.

I'm actually a non member but I am dating ( and probably going to marry) a member of the LDS curch

He is the one who has suggested getting married several times, and is already looking for the ring, but I know how important it is in the LDS church for both people to be members. I don't want him to regret marrying me if I decided the LDS church was not for me.

I have agreed to take the discussions and have been to church with him on several occasions, but I'm not sure it is what I truly believe.

Mostly I'm just scared as I was raised by baptist and church of Christ families and have chosen a Presbyterian church as my place of worship right now.

Should I be scared? or nervous?

Any suggestions or feedback?

Anything would be appreciated! Thanks. :)

[pam]

I think the question is more how does he feel about marrying someone who is not LDS. Yes the Church really stresses the importance of marrying someone within the LDS faith.

There are many wonderful wonderful people who are married to non LDS people. They have continued to be strong in their faith and are active members of the LDS religion.

It's extremely important to go into any relationship but especially one such as this with a mutual respect for each other and their individual beliefs.

There needs to be much communication as to how couples intend on making the balance here between the two religions. If you are considering children, what religion will you have that child brought up into? That can become a huge hurdle to jump in many relationships.

[applepansy]

I would consider that marriage can be hard enough without starting out with a difference. The more things you agree on the easier and less sources of contention.

There are people who have made it work. Often one party or the other changes their religion eventually. Its difficult to raise childfren in a divided home.

I would make this decision a point in my prayers. Maybe both of you should pray together about this as well as separately.

applepansy

[BenRaines]

I would bet that there are fewer that make it work than make it work. There is a very good thread going on right now started by PaulP regarding the topic. He joined before they were married and as I understand it before they met but just before meeting. Now he wants to return to his former church although does not plan on being active in it.

I would say it would be as difficult if not more than marrying someone who has been a member of the church their whole life and then deciding they didn't believe any longer. I have seen that too.

Ben Raines

[NeuroTypical]

Should I be scared? or nervous?

Any suggestions or feedback?

Hi Dunno, welcometo the forums!

So, you're considering becoming a "part member family". I've known several, and just like any other marriage, they have their ups and downs. With your situation, your sort of choosing your struggles - here some of them are.

* Will you and hubby fight over which church the kids are raised in?

* Will you ever tire of various church members' efforts to include you in activities, get you to go to church, commit to reading scriptures, etc? Will you ever tire of being strong enough to keep them at arm's distance?

* Will you fight over paying tithing?

* Will you have a problem with the church's youth programs and activities?

* Would you have an issue not being able to attend your children's temple marriages?

If you haven't figured it out already, we mormons are HUGE on family togetherness. We're so big on it, the church tries really hard to get it's members to be together forever. That means temple attendence. That means actually believing that Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon really are what they claim to be.

Again, I've known many part member families, and like any other marriage, they have ups and downs. As long as each of you hold different religious beliefs, you can basically be completely certain that you'll face some of these downs.

Choose carefully.

LM

[pam]

Extremely good points to bring out LM.

[Heavenguard]

Hello dunno2.

First of all, I want to say I think you're the world's sweetest sweetie for doing this for your soon-to-be fiance!

That said, I also want to say that any decisions you make about your faith matters should be for you and only you.

I think you'll find these guys here are very, very helpful, and you can learn a lot from them.

Have a good time!

[Dr T]

I think the question is more how does he feel about marrying someone who is not LDS.

I think it's a question for both not more for him or her personally.

[Guest TheLutheran]

. . . I have agreed to take the discussions and have been to church with him on several occasions, but I'm not sure it is what I truly believe. . . . /QUOTE]

Hi~

As you can probably guess, I am not LDS either but I came to this site to learn about the LDS faith tradition as well. I have gained a great deal from the thoughtful posts of both the LDS and non-LDS contributors.

Our youngest daughter is dating an LDS boy and we absolutely adore him. He was not very "LDS" when they first began dating but has become more active over the course of their relationship. The "religion" issue is huge for couples considering marriage.

I was hoping to find "common ground" between traditional Christians and Latter Day Saints. I have found that. Yet I have also found significant differences.

Good luck in your faith journey. You will no doubt hear (or read) often, "read the Book of Mormon and pray about its truthfulness." You will know what you truly believe.

[Palerider]

My youngest daughter is 19 yrs old and she is dating a non member and he has started taking the discussions from the missionaries....it was his choice....he attends church with my son and daughter each week in their singles Branch.

[dunno2]

I think the question is more how does he feel about marrying someone who is not LDS. Yes the Church really stresses the importance of marrying someone within the LDS faith.

There are many wonderful wonderful people who are married to non LDS people. They have continued to be strong in their faith and are active members of the LDS religion.

It's extremely important to go into any relationship but especially one such as this with a mutual respect for each other and their individual beliefs.

There needs to be much communication as to how couples intend on making the balance here between the two religions. If you are considering children, what religion will you have that child brought up into? That can become a huge hurdle to jump in many relationships.

This is part of the reason I am so nervous. I can't understand why he would marry me if I was unsure about being a member.

He is very good about asking me if I have questions about any of his "crazy Mormon things" as I playfully call them, and I am never disappointed with the answers. They do make a lot of sense... but I haven't found it in my heart that they are what I truly believe.

We do need to have this talk again, I admit. We haven't had it in awhile.

I don't have any problems with the LDS church. My family on the other hand....

You are definitely right about communication. I think that is how we have made it this far!

Thanks for the feedback!

Hello dunno2.

First of all, I want to say I think you're the world's sweetest sweetie for doing this for your soon-to-be fiance!

That said, I also want to say that any decisions you make about your faith matters should be for you and only you.

I think you'll find these guys here are very, very helpful, and you can learn a lot from them.

Have a good time!

Well I love him to death and he deserves the world. :)

I just pray that if I decide on sticking with the crazy ol' foot washin Presbyterians he won't despise the fact that I'm his wife.

. . . I have agreed to take the discussions and have been to church with him on several occasions, but I'm not sure it is what I truly believe. . . . /QUOTE]

Hi~

As you can probably guess, I am not LDS either but I came to this site to learn about the LDS faith tradition as well. I have gained a great deal from the thoughtful posts of both the LDS and non-LDS contributors.

Our youngest daughter is dating an LDS boy and we absolutely adore him. He was not very "LDS" when they first began dating but has become more active over the course of their relationship. The "religion" issue is huge for couples considering marriage.

I was hoping to find "common ground" between traditional Christians and Latter Day Saints. I have found that. Yet I have also found significant differences.

Good luck in your faith journey. You will no doubt hear (or read) often, "read the Book of Mormon and pray about its truthfulness." You will know what you truly believe.

My family loves him as well. More than any other one I have drug home. I guess that's a good thing since he plans to have me be his wife by the end of next year!

I have read some of the book of Mormon.

Being his good post missionary self, one of the first things he gave me when we started dating was the book of Mormon (not knowing I had about 5 copies at home) and had written a very sweet message and listed some passages for me to read as well.

The only thing is, I don't get much out of reading, I need explaining. I just want completely unbiased explaining and I 'm not sure where to find it.

Thanks for all the feedback! I need all the help I can get!