I was wrong....

[prttynpnk856]

No need to show any longer. Thank you for your support. I need to let things go.

Edited December 26, 2008 by prttynpnk856
No longer wish for it to be shown... got answer

[applepansy]

You ask for forgiveness and then its his decision. You pray and you fast. You put both of your names on the prayer roll at the temple. Then you remember that we all have our agency and that your Husband will exercise his. He can choose to forgive you and try again or he can choose to be finished. Its up to him. When he makes that decision you will have to accept it.

I know that's hard to hear. My heart is breaking for you. Remember though, you are not really alone. The Lord is with you always. You don't have to stop loving.

Even though its Christmas Day. . . Get out and visit people. Visit the shutins and elderly in your ward. They often feel just as lonely as you do. (If you have time make some cookies . . .if you don't, well. .. don't stop that from going.) Just go. . . a visit is a wonderful service to provide for those who can't get out or be with family today.

applepansy

[prttynpnk856]

You are right it is not what I want to hear but it is correct. I would love my husband to forgive me. He has withdrawn himself so much that he does not even care enought about us to forgive me. I got the "it is not you; it is me". Never thought I would hear that cliche.... Merry Christmas and thank you for your support.

[Hemidakota]

I posted a thread a month or so ago called "failing marriage". I thought a divorce is what was right, what I wanted. I went to every length to make sure my husband knew that. In reality it never was. I just got to the point that I was scared and thought I had to keep going with it. I have asked my husband to take me back, to work on things. He does not want to. In essence his life is better off without me. He has money, he even met a girl and kissed her. He lives on base in Texas (army) and I am in Chicago. I said I would do anything and I know I need to relinquish any control I had in this marriage for it to work. I need to trust my Heavenly Father more than myself. I do have issues. Things he, my husband, should not have to deal with. I have had an eating disorder for about 10 years now. I have told him I need counseling and I might need medication. It is very hard for me to stay happy, I am almost certain I am clinically depressed. Two weeks ago before he told me anything about the new girl; I told him how I felt. I still loved him and wanted to make this eternal marriage work. He said he is better off, was not prepared for marriage, and has windows of opportunities now. He came this past week and is staying with his family. We have seen eachother. At first, not under my willingness. It was on him, he said he still loved me and wanted to be my husband. I told him it was what I wanted too and we agreed to work on it. We slowly even tlet the physical nature of our relationship back in. I even went to his family's house last night (can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be after the hurt I put my husband through?) I did it though. As embarrassed and ashamed as I was.... He told me he did not want to be my husband, that we were incompatible and he was not quite sure how he could see things changing. He did not want to play games with me anymore.

I do not know what else to do. I am lost. I feel alone. I feel like my world is shattering before my eyes; I have lost everything that means anything to me. It is all my fault. I should have been honest with how I was feeling. I should have listened to wise counsel. I should have forgiven him. It is Christmas and I am alone. My husband says he is so callused my tears mean nothing, even the fact I am not with him on Christmas means nothing because "he can find happiness without me". I want to keep fighting for this marriage. I told him I wanted to move down there and he does not want me to. I know us being together would mean he would have to do a lot of work he does not deserve to do. I just know what we can be and I destroyed it. I owe him so much and I want to be his wife. I know I can be better. It is not that I need him. I know I will be okay without him, I just do not want to be. What do I do?

Have you seen a grown man cry? Start with prayer and ask for help. He will guide you in doing the right. God bless....

[jolee65]

I divorced my husband for two yrs he didnt want it , I did. He had some habits that seemed to be getting out of control and I didnt want to deal with it anymore. but along story short. I didnt read your first post so im not sure what the whole story is about.

But if hes going to get involved with someone else while hes still married he needs to thnk about what hes doing to his eternal life.

[BenRaines]

Yes how about posting the original post or a link. I think some people are forgetting that you wanted out of this at first and now have had a change of heart.

Ben Raines

[FunkyTown]

I posted a thread a month or so ago called "failing marriage". I thought a divorce is what was right, what I wanted. I went to every length to make sure my husband knew that. In reality it never was. I just got to the point that I was scared and thought I had to keep going with it. I have asked my husband to take me back, to work on things. He does not want to. In essence his life is better off without me. He has money, he even met a girl and kissed her. He lives on base in Texas (army) and I am in Chicago. I said I would do anything and I know I need to relinquish any control I had in this marriage for it to work. I need to trust my Heavenly Father more than myself. I do have issues. Things he, my husband, should not have to deal with. I have had an eating disorder for about 10 years now. I have told him I need counseling and I might need medication. It is very hard for me to stay happy, I am almost certain I am clinically depressed. Two weeks ago before he told me anything about the new girl; I told him how I felt. I still loved him and wanted to make this eternal marriage work. He said he is better off, was not prepared for marriage, and has windows of opportunities now. He came this past week and is staying with his family. We have seen eachother. At first, not under my willingness. It was on him, he said he still loved me and wanted to be my husband. I told him it was what I wanted too and we agreed to work on it. We slowly even tlet the physical nature of our relationship back in. I even went to his family's house last night (can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be after the hurt I put my husband through?) I did it though. As embarrassed and ashamed as I was.... He told me he did not want to be my husband, that we were incompatible and he was not quite sure how he could see things changing. He did not want to play games with me anymore.

I do not know what else to do. I am lost. I feel alone. I feel like my world is shattering before my eyes; I have lost everything that means anything to me. It is all my fault. I should have been honest with how I was feeling. I should have listened to wise counsel. I should have forgiven him. It is Christmas and I am alone. My husband says he is so callused my tears mean nothing, even the fact I am not with him on Christmas means nothing because "he can find happiness without me". I want to keep fighting for this marriage. I told him I wanted to move down there and he does not want me to. I know us being together would mean he would have to do a lot of work he does not deserve to do. I just know what we can be and I destroyed it. I owe him so much and I want to be his wife. I know I can be better. It is not that I need him. I know I will be okay without him, I just do not want to be. What do I do?

Having read and remembered the original post, Prtty, you might want to let your husband move on with his life. I don't say that lightly and, sometimes, the mistakes we make in our lives let us grow as people. I'd recommend going for councilling and trying to reign in your depression. You probably have a lot to offer, but right now you have been so many strange things to your husband that you should sort yourself out. If he's willing to be there with you while you can, fantastic. But if he isn't, just recognize that you've put him through a lot. Find help and become the type of person you would want to be married to.

[Elgama]

I agree with FT right now you need to sort yourself out there is no point in a reconciliation until you have had counselling etc, in the meantime maybe let him have a chance to sort himself out he has been messed with and is bound to be in a bad place himself.

Then maybe look at reconciliation if you BOTH want it but right now neither of you are ready for another relationship, either with other people or each other

-Charley

[pam]

I'm closing this thread as the OP has been deleted.