Interested Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 How should I approach boards like this? (or secular boards) and ask for help with my sex abuse recovery? I realize I shouldn't be graphic so I'm not often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 This is not the place to do it. Sex abuse recovery is best done by attending meetings, similar to AA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Why not try to get help from the Pro's...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interested Posted December 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Are moderators pros? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Are moderators pros? nope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interested Posted December 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Oh then therapists? I have one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rampion Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Check the social groups on this site. There is one, at least, that you will find supportive. There are other forums, outside of this one, for support with mental health issues. Try Forums at Psych Central I'm Rapunzel over there, and I used to be a mod there. But I got demoted after I had a BPD moment (ok, more like a month) over religion being a prohibited topic. Now I have a religion social group on that site. But I'm not a mod anymore. The mods are still not pros, but something can be said for peer support. Especially when you are getting professional treatment. Having someone that you can talk to about the things you need to talk about is really important, and therapists can't be available the way that peers can. I found that the anonymity of the internet made it possible to talk when I wasn't able to otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruthiechan Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 How come we can't talk about it here? We talk about pornography, masturbation, we talk about failing marriages, we talk about same sex attraction, we talk about spanking kids and even physical abuse, and neglect, we talk about depression and suicide and other mental issues, we talked about the RLDS issue in Texas, but we can't talk about sexual abuse? Therapists are great and all but sometimes they're not the only people you wanna talk to. Sometimes you wanna talk to real people, and forums can be safe enough (after all, if you talk to friends about it face to face you're stuck with them knowing and have to deal with their whole shock, anger and getting over it thing they'll go through). We have managed to talk about every other subject, even sensitive subjects, without getting too graphic or porno graphic. Why can we not do the same with sexual abuse? Sexual abuse is a very serious thing and it happens to 1 in 3 girls, and 1 in 5 or 6 men (and probably more often than that because men tend not to talk about it unlike girls). I am appalled at the responses of go see a professional. We don't say that to those who are talking about their depression, we don't say that to people who are saying, "woe is me my marriage sucketh", but somehow it's okay to say "go see a pro" to someone asking what to do for more help with sex abuse recovery? That is not right. As long as site rules are being followed I see no problem in helping this young man overcome the pains of sexual abuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rampion Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I thought I had replied to this. I hope I didn't say something wrong. My post isn't here now.I just wanted to say try the social groups. I hadn't realized that you are male. It is harder to find support groups for male victims of sexual abuse, but that doesn't mean that you have any less need of support. You might need to start a group, or look at another site. One that is set up for mental health support is Forums at Psych Central Even though you have a therapist, you still need someone to talk to. Therapists provide professional treatment, but they can't be there for you the way that peers can. You need both. And it can be hard to talk about stuff like that in person, especially with strangers. Online support made it possible for me to start being able to talk to people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rampion Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Sorry, my other post is there again now. Hmm, and my therapist assures me that I'm not crazy. Go figure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Sorry, my other post is there again now. Hmm, and my therapist assures me that I'm not crazy. Go figure. are you positive about this...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I am appalled at the responses of go see a professional. We don't say that to those who are talking about their depression, we don't say that to people who are saying, "woe is me my marriage sucketh", but somehow it's okay to say "go see a pro" to someone asking what to do for more help with sex abuse recovery? Actually, I do say those things. Sure, sometimes people come here to vent and others reply and tell what they have done to help their problem, but we are not professionals. We are not trained to deal with all the nuances of these kinds of things. If a 'quick-fix' is not going to do the trick, then absolutely I suggest a person go see a professional or specialized group where they will get better help aimed toward their specific situation. We're a bunch of anonymous faces, and it is easy for someone who is not trained to say things which may push someone who is in need of good advice completely over the edge. Coming here to seek recovery from depression, marriage problems, or sexual abuse is not the answer for 99% of the people who suffer from those kinds of things. There are usually much deeper issues which the members of this site simply are not equipped to deal with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 i think if you review the threads you will find we do regularly say, see a professional... get marriage counseling.... see a dr for that depression (or whatever the issue may be)..... even say go see your bishop, stake pres, ...... etc, etc, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 How come we can't talk about it here? We talk about pornography, masturbation, we talk about failing marriages, we talk about same sex attraction, we talk about spanking kids and even physical abuse, and neglect, we talk about depression and suicide and other mental issues, we talked about the RLDS issue in Texas, but we can't talk about sexual abuse? Therapists are great and all but sometimes they're not the only people you wanna talk to. Sometimes you wanna talk to real people, and forums can be safe enough (after all, if you talk to friends about it face to face you're stuck with them knowing and have to deal with their whole shock, anger and getting over it thing they'll go through).We have managed to talk about every other subject, even sensitive subjects, without getting too graphic or porno graphic. Why can we not do the same with sexual abuse? Sexual abuse is a very serious thing and it happens to 1 in 3 girls, and 1 in 5 or 6 men (and probably more often than that because men tend not to talk about it unlike girls). I am appalled at the responses of go see a professional. We don't say that to those who are talking about their depression, we don't say that to people who are saying, "woe is me my marriage sucketh", but somehow it's okay to say "go see a pro" to someone asking what to do for more help with sex abuse recovery? That is not right. As long as site rules are being followed I see no problem in helping this young man overcome the pains of sexual abuse. I see nothing wrong with suggesting to someone to see a Pro meaning therapy....we know nothing about a person who comes here and what they need just because of a few lines they post. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruthiechan Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 With other situations suggesting professional help is not the only thing we say now is it? Where's the asking for more info, could you tell us what you've done already? Where are the prayers? Where are the you're a child of God with Heavenly Parents who love you?Where's the simple QUESTION of, are you talking to a professional yet? which is totally different than, go see a pro, as if our brother isn't worth the time of day. It's all in the approach, the tone. Would you tell a friend in real life right quick to go see a pro if they started to talk to you about this? No, you'd be patient and listen, and while listening you'd be praying on how best to help your friend and when to approach them about therapy, you wouldn't say, hey, I'm not a pro you can't talk to me about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi Interested,A few random thoughts:* You certainly aren't alone in your struggles with PTSD, or with recovering from sex abuse. I hometeach a guy who came back from Vietnam with PTSD. And I'm married to someone with PTSD from her crummy upbringing.* Details of your abuse probably aren't appropriate here, and as you can see from some of the responses, there are a wide variety of reactions to such stories. So on a public internet forum, you'll find a mixed bag of helpful, not helpful, clueless, righteous, unrighteous, and everything else. * The two LDS links I can offer that have helped me and my wife the most:Ensign May 2008 - To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse - Elder Richard G. ScottEnsign October 2005 - Myths about Mental Illness - Elder Alexander B. MorrisonHope this helps.LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jolee65 Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I think we all have a clear idea of what sexual abuse looks like. So, what is it you would like to discuss coping with the abuse? I think I could give a couple ideas on how to think about it that would help with coping. And the reason I think I could give this advise is because this happened to me as well . But theres one thing that I only gained with age is there was nothing I DID that brought this on, I didnt dress or act like I was looking for something like that to happen. So, if you continue to think back looking for clues did I do something, did I act like its something I wanted to happen, NO. The way I see it is He was the adult, but its not taking my power and my right to a fullfilling life, I didnt have control then I was just a kid, but I do now. And so do you, empower your life continue to look forward and dont look back, its not going to change and your not going to forget but you can come to terms with what happened, continue to go to Heavenly Father for councel and healing, he helped me with a way of thinking about it that eased my mind and my heart and he can do the same for you, you will have peace again. If you would like you can write me privately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bert10 Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 Christ is your Shepherd and Helper. All PTSD are about events that happened in the past which are spiritual shocks which eventually manifest itself later on. The time between the event and the manifestations varies. At the base of all PTSD is fears and lack of understanding and forgiveness and mercy [either for oneself or others or both]. One could say that it is a shock to the Love of GOD within us. Light of Christ is Love and it is the great healer. God can take anything and make it work for our good even awfull past events. As God works within us...these past events will in time be seen even as blessings that will give us a Unique perspective on Life that few others have. In our lifetime....All of us will have traumatic shocks that will be a blow to the Spirit/Love of God within us. Each one of us with our different life experiences can come together in teaching each other, helping each other and overcoming the world for all of our good. The events of ptsd are in the past and so does the cure lies in the past and not with dealing of the symtoms only. Peace be unto you bert10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 At the base of all PTSD is fears and lack of understanding and forgiveness and mercy [either for oneself or others or both].I don't think I agree with that.My wife suffers from PTSD, and it ain't due to being afraid or not having a sufficient understanding of gospel principles. Do you have a source for this claim?LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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