Divorce

[Writer_Chick1213]

Ok I was wondering on an eternal perspective what happens to families that are divorced? My parents are divorced (they did have a temple marriage though) and my dad is now inactive and remarried a non-member. My mom however is still single. So when we're all supposed to go live with our families after the resurrection what happens? Does my mom just live alone? I really don't know much about this subject and I asked my bishop and he couldn't really give me an answer...is there one? I would appreciate any input. I've read a lot in the bible about how it is a sin to divorce but i don't believe that its true in the case of abuse when divorce is the only option. Is there any church docterine on the subject? and if my bishop doesn't know is there anyone else I can ask? please help this has been bugging me for 8 years.

[Blessed]

I have always wanted to know this as well. Good question.

[Guest curvette]

Who knows what church "doctrine" is on this matter. The whole concept of sealing families together is very messy in an imperfect world where people split up, and where children tend to be disobedient. I think it only works in a culture where people don't think of divorce as an option. Then, of course, you get some women stuck in abusive relationships for their earthly life with only a better eternity to hope for. My parents are also divorced and frankly, I wouldn't want to "live" with them for eternity. I love them. I love to talk to them and see them regularly, but I wouldn't want to set up a household with them telling me what to do forever. I think the relationship that merits the most work is the marriage. That's the person you really will be stuck with for eternity! :) I can't imagine a loving, just God depriving us of the associations of people we love for eternity. I feel certain that we will be able to see them at least as often as we see them here.

[Amillia]

What about God who knows us all, won't he make sure all the right things are done? I wonder if he would allow innocent people to be hurt after this life.

[ST:DS9]

When I was on my mission, there was a young woman who had a 4 year old child. Her husband cheated on her and he decided to divorce her, and he got excommunicated. She started to wonder about Temple divorce. Now I don't know the whole events that lead to this letter from the First Presidency. But in that letter they told her that as long as she keeps the covenants she made in the temple that she would still get the blessing promised to her when she made those covenants. They told her not to get a temple divorce until she was ready to get married again in the temple to someone else for all time and all eternity.

[Setheus]

I don't know the official doctrine but here is what I believe...

I believe that your mother, if she remains worthy of the temple, will be given the chance to be sealed to a worthy man. The prophets have promised the women of the church this will happen during the rein of Christ.

As for your father....IF he were still active and worthy, I believe he would gain the oportunity to re-seal to one of the women that were promised a worthy husband.

Now, since it is your mother who is active and not your father, if and when your mother is sealed to another man, I believe you will "go live" with her and that family...unless your father later repented and again became worthy etc etc, in which case you might go be with him and that family because he is the father. BUT if you are all worthy of heaven then this negates itself and you will all be there anyway so the technicalities will have to be left up to God as far as who gets custody of you.

I hope that I have made things clear as mud for you.

[Traveler]

A great key to understanding doctrine is understanding covenant. Marriage is a covenant like baptism and must be performed during physical mortality but can be accomplished by proxy for those that have died. Everyone that desires to live by Celestial covenant will be sealed by covenant in the ordinance of marriage. Most of us have heard of the ordinance of the covenant known as “calling and election made sure”. This is an extension of the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (eternal marriage) and must also be completed by those that desire to live in eternity by Celestial covenant.

There are several great parts of the plan of salvation. Our mortal life is but one part. Those that do not complete all the covenants of eternal salvation (the meaning of perfection) will complete them in the spirit world if they desire. The ordinances of the covenant will either be completed by us during mortality or be accomplished by proxy in the temples after we die. To finish the work of salvation is the great purpose of the millennium or 1000 years of covenant peace.

The promise G-d gives us by his “word” in the covenant known as the “eternal plan of happiness” is that all that desire according to their worthiness will receive the covenants by ordinance even though they die without completing them. Those that forsake the covenants have broken the promise of their eternal happiness and therefore must live by another covenant other than the Celestial covenant.

The Traveler

[kevieb]

my parents were divorced (after a temple marriage) and my mother was later sealed to my step-father (after a temple divorce) i was a teenager when she and my step-father went to the temple, and was very upset by the thought that i might have to choose who i would be with. if we live righteously, i believe that all things will work out. some of these things are" infinit" principles that are impossible for us to understand at this time because we have "finite" minds.

[shanstress70]

Originally posted by kevieb@Dec 14 2004, 11:10 AM

some of these things are" infinit" principles that are impossible for us to understand at this time because we have "finite" minds.

If there is one pet peeve I have about explanations that LDS people give, it is this.

You could say this about anything.

That was always the excuse given to me about polygamy. It just seems like a cop-out.

What's so ironic is that, while I was taking discussions, the point that the missionaries kept making was that in this religion, everything has an explanation and makes sense. Not if you have to use this...

[Amillia]

Originally posted by shanstress70+Dec 14 2004, 11:33 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (shanstress70 @ Dec 14 2004, 11:33 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--kevieb@Dec 14 2004, 11:10 AM

some of these things are" infinit" principles that are impossible for us to understand at this time because we have "finite" minds.

If there is one pet peeve I have about explanations that LDS people give, it is this.

You could say this about anything.

That was always the excuse given to me about polygamy. It just seems like a cop-out.

What's so ironic is that, while I was taking discussions, the point that the missionaries kept making was that in this religion, everything has an explanation and makes sense. Not if you have to use this...

Well if it isn't true, it doesn't matter. Don't let it bother you Shanstress. You are happy with where your are now and I think that is what counts, don't you?

[shanstress70]

Originally posted by Amillia@Dec 14 2004, 01:52 PM

Well if it isn't true, it doesn't matter. Don't let it bother you Shanstress. You are happy with where your are now and I think that is what counts, don't you?

True, it doesn't matter. Just stating that it bugs me, and contradicts what they teach. Sometimes people don't think about how something sounds, especially if they've been told that their entire lives.

[Amillia]

Originally posted by shanstress70+Dec 14 2004, 08:28 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (shanstress70 @ Dec 14 2004, 08:28 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Amillia@Dec 14 2004, 01:52 PM

Well if it isn't true, it doesn't matter. Don't let it bother you Shanstress. You are happy with where your are now and I think that is what counts, don't you?

True, it doesn't matter. Just stating that it bugs me, and contradicts what they teach. Sometimes people don't think about how something sounds, especially if they've been told that their entire lives.

I had a neighbor, *still do actually*, who always had little phrases for dismissing anything anyone said about everything. That bugged me for a long time. But you know, she was just trying to cope with a pretty hellish life. Everyone seems to have their own way of dealing with things and sometimes the way they do it bugs us.

But maybe we have to ask ourselves why it bugs us really. I found out later in my life that the reason this neighbors dismissing phrases; like; nobodies perfect, that's just the way it is, life isn't easy, it really doesn't matter anyway, God knows all and will take care of all, ~ why these bugged me so much was, that I wanted her to feel and see things with the same intensity I did. Now that I have mellowed out, her ways don't bug me anymore because I see why she does it.

[Cal]

Originally posted by Traveler@Dec 7 2004, 10:17 PM

A great key to understanding doctrine is understanding covenant. Marriage is a covenant like baptism and must be performed during physical mortality but can be accomplished by proxy for those that have died. Everyone that desires to live by Celestial covenant will be sealed by covenant in the ordinance of marriage. Most of us have heard of the ordinance of the covenant known as “calling and election made sure”. This is an extension of the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (eternal marriage) and must also be completed by those that desire to live in eternity by Celestial covenant.

There are several great parts of the plan of salvation. Our mortal life is but one part. Those that do not complete all the covenants of eternal salvation (the meaning of perfection) will complete them in the spirit world if they desire. The ordinances of the covenant will either be completed by us during mortality or be accomplished by proxy in the temples after we die. To finish the work of salvation is the great purpose of the millennium or 1000 years of covenant peace.

The promise G-d gives us by his “word” in the covenant known as the “eternal plan of happiness” is that all that desire according to their worthiness will receive the covenants by ordinance even though they die without completing them. Those that forsake the covenants have broken the promise of their eternal happiness and therefore must live by another covenant other than the Celestial covenant.

The Traveler

Great answer---doesn't even come close to actually addressing the question, but great answer anyway.

[Writer_Chick1213]

so i've been doing some more reading and still nothing is clear. Is it possible that there just isn't an answer that anyone knows of? All the talks and stuff i've read are very vague. So if my bishop doesn't know, should my stake president? If he doesn't know, who then? President Hinkley?!?!?

[srm]

Originally posted by Writer_Chick1213@Nov 29 2004, 11:41 AM

Ok I was wondering on an eternal perspective what happens to families that are divorced? My parents are divorced (they did have a temple marriage though) and my dad is now inactive and remarried a non-member. My mom however is still single. So when we're all supposed to go live with our families after the resurrection what happens? Does my mom just live alone? I really don't know much about this subject and I asked my bishop and he couldn't really give me an answer...is there one? I would appreciate any input. I've read a lot in the bible about how it is a sin to divorce but i don't believe that its true in the case of abuse when divorce is the only option. Is there any church docterine on the subject? and if my bishop doesn't know is there anyone else I can ask? please help this has been bugging me for 8 years.

The relationship that is most relevant to the conversation is the husband/wife relationship. This is because each of your children will have their own spouse and thereis where their most important relationship. In a case of divorce, if you are true to your covenants you will receive all that is promised. With another spouse if you wish. The marriage covenant that you make is with God, not with your spouse.

[srm]

Originally posted by Cal+Dec 18 2004, 11:01 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Cal @ Dec 18 2004, 11:01 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Traveler@Dec 7 2004, 10:17 PM

A great key to understanding doctrine is understanding covenant.  Marriage is a covenant like baptism and must be performed during physical mortality but can be accomplished by proxy for those that have died.  Everyone that desires to live by Celestial covenant will be sealed by covenant in the ordinance of marriage.  Most of us have heard of the ordinance of the covenant known as “calling and election made sure”.  This is an extension of the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (eternal marriage) and must also be completed by those that desire to live in eternity by Celestial covenant.

There are several great parts of the plan of salvation.  Our mortal life is but one part.  Those that do not complete all the covenants of eternal salvation (the meaning of perfection) will complete them in the spirit world if they desire.  The ordinances of the covenant will either be completed by us during mortality or be accomplished by proxy in the temples after we die.  To finish the work of salvation is the great purpose of the millennium or 1000 years of covenant peace.

The promise G-d gives us by his “word” in the covenant known as the “eternal plan of happiness” is that all that desire according to their worthiness will receive the covenants by ordinance even though they die without completing them.  Those that forsake the covenants have broken the promise of their eternal happiness and therefore must live by another covenant other than the Celestial covenant. 

The Traveler

Great answer---doesn't even come close to actually addressing the question, but great answer anyway.

Hey Cal, were you the Cal that I conversed with a few years ago over on RFM?

[Guest curvette]

Originally posted by srm@Jan 3 2005, 11:19 AM

The marriage covenant that you make is with God, not with your spouse.

Woah there skippy! You got some 'splainin' to do! Our spouse is NOT a part of our marriage covenant? I must passionately disagree.

[Lindy]

if we live righteously, i believe that all things will work out.

Great statement! Actually this is what I was told by my Stake President years ago. Being a single mom is a test, a test of what- I would like to know- but a test nonetheless. It tests our patience, our resouces, our stamina, and our sanity. However, I found that it also increased the love I had for my children, and my faith. And I was questionning my status in the "over all plan" and went to my Stake President (a ward friend) and asked him. I was told not to worry, that God is a just God and will take care of His faithful children.....if not in our mortal existance, then in the spirit world.... just keep true to my faith and that all things will work out. I think the same thing applies to your mom....it will work out, the worthy and righteous will not be seperated as families....God knows the hearts of those who love Him.....He understands more than some give Him credit for. Trust in God...."all things will work out." :)

[srm]

Originally posted by curvette+Jan 4 2005, 01:00 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (curvette @ Jan 4 2005, 01:00 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--srm@Jan 3 2005, 11:19 AM

The marriage covenant that you make is with God, not with your spouse.

Woah there skippy! You got some 'splainin' to do! Our spouse is NOT a part of our marriage covenant? I must passionately disagree.

I did not say that the spouse is not a part...I said that the covenant we make is with God. We covenant with him that we will love honor obey ect our spouse.

[Cal]

Originally posted by Setheus@Dec 1 2004, 03:46 PM

I don't know the official doctrine but here is what I believe...

I believe that your mother, if she remains worthy of the temple, will be given the chance to be sealed to a worthy man. The prophets have promised the women of the church this will happen during the rein of Christ.

As for your father....IF he were still active and worthy, I believe he would gain the oportunity to re-seal to one of the women that were promised a worthy husband.

Now, since it is your mother who is active and not your father, if and when your mother is sealed to another man, I believe you will "go live" with her and that family...unless your father later repented and again became worthy etc etc, in which case you might go be with him and that family because he is the father. BUT if you are all worthy of heaven then this negates itself and you will all be there anyway so the technicalities will have to be left up to God as far as who gets custody of you.

I hope that I have made things clear as mud for you.

Lovely speculation.

[Cal]

Originally posted by srm+Jan 3 2005, 11:20 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (srm @ Jan 3 2005, 11:20 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -Cal@Dec 18 2004, 11:01 AM

<!--QuoteBegin--Traveler@Dec 7 2004, 10:17 PM

A great key to understanding doctrine is understanding covenant.  Marriage is a covenant like baptism and must be performed during physical mortality but can be accomplished by proxy for those that have died.  Everyone that desires to live by Celestial covenant will be sealed by covenant in the ordinance of marriage.  Most of us have heard of the ordinance of the covenant known as “calling and election made sure”.  This is an extension of the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (eternal marriage) and must also be completed by those that desire to live in eternity by Celestial covenant.

There are several great parts of the plan of salvation.  Our mortal life is but one part.  Those that do not complete all the covenants of eternal salvation (the meaning of perfection) will complete them in the spirit world if they desire.  The ordinances of the covenant will either be completed by us during mortality or be accomplished by proxy in the temples after we die.  To finish the work of salvation is the great purpose of the millennium or 1000 years of covenant peace.

The promise G-d gives us by his “word” in the covenant known as the “eternal plan of happiness” is that all that desire according to their worthiness will receive the covenants by ordinance even though they die without completing them.  Those that forsake the covenants have broken the promise of their eternal happiness and therefore must live by another covenant other than the Celestial covenant. 

The Traveler

Great answer---doesn't even come close to actually addressing the question, but great answer anyway.

Hey Cal, were you the Cal that I conversed with a few years ago over on RFM?

Not sure. I've visited a number of sites. What did we talk about?