Freak Dancing??

[RainofGold]

My daughter who's 17 went to her first school dance a few days ago.

When I picked her up from the dance she was very upset, shocked and sadden. Most of the girls were wearing dresses that looked like blouses, they were so short that at times you could see a little bit of their underwear. But the worst was the dancing, my daughter said that she's only seen it on mtv. She could not believe her eyes. It got so bad that she called me almost in tears to go and pick her up, that she didn't feel comfortable there. And even though she went with a group of girls from our ward they were also freak dancing. I guess I'm a little old school because I didn't know what that was all about, so my daughter had to explained to me what it was. Are most of the lds youth doing this dance?

'Freak dancing' is too dirty for school officials, parents

By SAM SKOLNIK

SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER

Think of sexually evocative bumping and grinding to bass-heavy hip-hop tunes. Think of lap dancing, standing up.

That's "freak dancing," a trend among high schoolers nationwide for more than a half-decade that Seattle Public Schools is now not only taking notice of but trying to stop.

Steve Wilson, the Seattle district's chief academic officer, said at a community meeting at Roosevelt High School Tuesday night that the district was setting a new policy after incidents at Roosevelt and other high schools in which parents had written to complain and students had been disciplined for freak dancing.

Parents and school administrators have raised concerns that such dancing could lead to sexual activity and shouldn't be allowed at school-sanctioned dances attended by students in their early teens.

Wilson encouraged students to continue attending their school dances, but he said those who do must dance "according to what reasonable people would consider appropriate." Such dancing, he said, should not include "lewd," "sexually suggestive" or "sexually simulating" behavior.

Wilson said the district already had issued a definition of freak dancing, defining it as occurring when "one dancer bends all the way down" and the other thrusts themselves toward the buttocks of the person bending down.

That definition elicited some snickering from the audience.

The sometimes-raucous meeting was dominated by a long public comment period.

Generational stereotypes typically held, with students mostly favoring allowing freak dancing, and more parents than not expressing concerns.

Roosevelt student Julia Pope said she doesn't drink or do drugs, "and I haven't yet contracted an STD through freak dancing."

"It's simply outrageous that they can impose their morals on us," Pope said of school officials and parents.

One 15-year-old Roosevelt sophomore, Colin Gerhart, said he had been reprimanded at a recent school dance for freak dancing. Afterward, he said, he spoke with his grandmother about it and she told him that she had learned how to dance during high school gym class.

Gerhart said that he had no similar schooling and that he freak danced because he had learned it from watching music videos on MTV -- and that's all he knew. "I don't know how you expect us to know how to dance," he said.

Several parents said their children had told them they had witnessed such dancing and it made them feel uncomfortable. One parent suggested that freshmen and sophomores dance at separate events from juniors and seniors.

Said Michael Capico, the father of a freshman at Roosevelt, "There's a point after which you want to keep the dancing dancing" and any sex separate from it.

Seattle is coming to this issue relatively late. The issue swept through high schools nationwide about four to five years ago.

Puyallup High School officials caused a storm in 2001 when they banned students from bending over more than 45 degrees while dancing or otherwise simulating sex acts. Some students organized their own private party in a protest that drew more than 300 students from the school's Valentine's Day dance.

[Maxel]

I saw that a lot in high school.

Generational stereotypes typically held, with students mostly favoring allowing freak dancing, and more parents than not expressing concerns.

Roosevelt student Julia Pope said she doesn't drink or do drugs, "and I haven't yet contracted an STD through freak dancing."

"It's simply outrageous that they can impose their morals on us," Pope said of school officials and parents.

Parents don't monitor their kids' behavior and let them watch that kind of dancing on TV- they shouldn't be surprised when their kids start doing it themselves. I truly feel sorry for little Julia Pope, whose apparent exposure to modern immorality has led her to believe that any reasonable restrictions are 'another group pushing their morals onto another'.

When I see stuff like this, I'm deeply worried for the kids growing up in Babylon, both in this generation and the next. Today's radical views are tomorrow's liberal views, and the conservative views of the next. Yet another example in my personal evidence chest for not letting my children attend high school dances. Thank goodness for church dances!

[gabelpa]

I stayed away from school dances because I didn't like what went on there, stuff similar to what you describe, though the outfits were more modest (But not by much). It's not as new as the article claims, as I graduated High School in 1997, and this sort of dancing was starting to become popular a few years earlier.

If you and your daughter are concerned, stick to the church dances.

[Fiannan]

One should not discount the cultural effect of MTV.

Up until the mid 1980s I believe the typical fashion of dancing was to pair up and dance with a partner -- if interested in the other person you would try to start a conversation, then follow them back and see where that went (the eventual goal, at a church dance, to get their phone number).

That has changed -- even in regards to church dances. I believe, due to MTV (please check out the segment on this at PBS Frontline -- "The Merchants of Cool") young people now imitate the vouyeristic world of the camera as it relates to the individual. People dance, not so much to socialize, but to show off -- as if they were some dancer on MTV performing for the audience.

If your goal is to NOT relate to the other person, to learn who they are and maybe form a bond, then it becomes a contest to get attention -- much like those MTV spring break specials, except one does not strip off. One does have to sympathize with one of the students featured in the OP article -- the norm taught by TV is provocative and highly sexually charged but many young people get the impression this is how you are supposed to dance.

True, dancing is, after all, a socially acceptable form of fertility courtship but one should not feel like they have entered a Roman orgy when they go to a high school dance, or especially a church dance. There should be standards set and followed.

[NeuroTypical]

Kudos on having a girl with the guts to speak up about a bad experience!

Kudos on having a good enough relationship with her that she felt comfortable sharing with you!

Kudos on having a girl with enough moral foundation to be offended in the first place!

You sound like you're a bit in shock right now, but from your story, I can see a lot to be thankful for. So, my girls are 7 and 5 - got any pointers on how to have them grow up to be like your daughter?

LM

[Wingnut]

I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but didn't you ever see the movie Dirty Dancing? While the movie was technically set in the 60's (though only so that the abortion which happened in the movie was illegal), the costumes, hairstyles, and general feel of the movie was very much the 80's (and if you don't believe me, watch the dance sequence at the end, and tell me it doesn't look like a Michael Jackson video). Freak dancing is nothing new. I'm not saying that makes it okay, or that it should be dismissed, but it's not news.

I'm glad to hear that your daughter didn't like it. I'm glad to hear that she called you to come pick her up because she was so upset about it. I honestly can't say it would have bothered me as much. It never really did.

From For the Strength of Youth:

Music and Dancing

Music can help you draw closer to your Heavenly Father. It can be used to educate, edify, inspire, and unite. However, music may be used for wicked purposes. Music can, by its tempo, beat, intensity, and lyrics, dull your spiritual sensitivity. You cannot afford to fill your minds with unworthy music. Music is an important and powerful part of life. You must consider your listening habits thoughtfully and prayerfully. You should be willing to control your listening habits and shun music that is spiritually harmful. Don't listen to music that contains ideas that contradict principles of the gospel. Don't listen to music that promotes Satanism or other evil practices, encourages immorality, uses foul and offensive language, or drives away the Spirit. Use careful judgment and maturity to choose the music you listen to and the level of its volume.

Dancing can be enjoyable and provide an opportunity to meet new people and strengthen friendships. However, it too can be misused. When you are dancing, avoid full body contact or intimate positions with your partner. Plan and attend dances where dress, grooming, lighting, dancing styles, lyrics, and music contribute to an atmosphere in which the Spirit of the Lord may be present.

Sounds like you've got a good girl there.

[RainofGold]

Kudos on having a girl with the guts to speak up about a bad experience!

Kudos on having a good enough relationship with her that she felt comfortable sharing with you!

Kudos on having a girl with enough moral foundation to be offended in the first place!

You sound like you're a bit in shock right now, but from your story, I can see a lot to be thankful for. So, my girls are 7 and 5 - got any pointers on how to have them grow up to be like your daughter?

LM

Loudmouth,

Thank you for all the Kudos....:p

My daughter is the Laurel President in the young women, where all of the girls love her and look up to her. She tries to set a good example to them and to live by the church standards.

As to some pointers.

Having good friends in one of the most important choices we can help our teenagers make.

Even though I was not raised lds, I come from a very old fashioned, conservative family. And I try to raised my daughter with the same values since she was very young.

Following the church rules has never been hard for her because of how she was brought up.

Not dating before the age of 16.

Not dating non-members.

Dressing modestly, yes even though the rest of the girls are using very short shorts and shirts that are two sizes two small.

Only going to church activities, parties and dances. (her choice)

Not watching rated R movies. (her own personal choice)

Helping her know who she is and having a strong relationship with her Savior.

And this one I had nothing to do it,

being blessed by my Heavenly Father with a very special daughter.

Rain

[hordak]

Freak dancing is nothing new. I'm not saying that makes it okay, or that it should be dismissed, but it's not news.

I concur. Every generation pushes the boundarys a little further and shocks the previous one.

My wifes great great grandmother used to talk about the immortality of the twist and Elvis Presleys sexual hip shaking.

That being said I'm suprised to find that at school. In my day the only difference between a church and school dance was inebreation.

[prospectmom]

Boy are we lucky.. Our High School kids have a dress code that includes dances and though they have so much fun at dances, I see because I am involved and chaprone the most problems we have is music with cursing which isn't allowed. Oh yes we are a public school. The short short dress thing is everywhere....... My daughter went to a homcoming at anothre school and was shocked at the way some girls dressed she wanted to go over to tell them to pull their skirts down... I loved her for recognizing what the look says and knowing she would never act or dress that way.

Edited February 7, 2009 by prospectmom

[RainofGold]

The dance at school that my daughter decided to go to was homecoming. We thought that the girls where supposed to be dressed more formal. I do regret not complaining to the school because I found out later that some parents, and teachers did complained.

Next week is the snow ball in my daughters high school. I am so thankful to the people that did complained because it seemed to make a difference. This is the first time that they are going to have a dress code and dance rules.

They are going to be given a warning bracelet. If they are caught freak dancing their bracelet will be removed, if they are caught a second time they are going to call their parents and ask to leave the dance. Is a shame that a lot of the kids in school when they heard that were upset because they said that they don't know any other way of dancing and having fun.

Since my daughter is a senior she decided that she will go because this will probably be one of her last dances in high school, other then prom.

[prospectmom]

and don't doubt her and her friends good example will make a difference to someone..... Hope she has a great time..... As someone who is really involved in my kids school I can say talking to staff about frustrations and probs is a good thing........ They need to hear from us parents.

[mnn727]

Roosevelt student Julia Pope said she doesn't drink or do drugs, "and I haven't yet contracted an STD through freak dancing."

"It's simply outrageous that they can impose their morals on us," Pope said of school officials and parents.

One 15-year-old Roosevelt sophomore, Colin Gerhart, said he had been reprimanded at a recent school dance for freak dancing. Afterward, he said, he spoke with his grandmother about it and she told him that she had learned how to dance during high school gym class.

Gerhart said that he had no similar schooling and that he freak danced because he had learned it from watching music videos on MTV -- and that's all he knew. "I don't know how you expect us to know how to dance," he said.

Alas, Babylon, thy judgement is coming.

[Moksha]

The only trouble with the town's legion of decency banning that teenage dancing is that, sooner or later, the kids will head down to the Lehi Flour Mill and surreptitiously practice their teen dancing. Soon they may be found dancing down at the Malt Shop and the county drive-in.

So what's a town burgher to do? Would they be better off simply shaking their heads and wondering that this new generation is coming to, while noting the prim and proper behavior of their own generation?

[prospectmom]

we older ones think it is all so sexual... to the kids it is just dancing

[Maxel]

No, the kids see it as sexual too- they just think overt sexuality is normal. Trust me on this one- the last high school dance I attended there was plenty of freak dancing. If they don't see it as sexual, then they've lost their ability to differentiate between normal and sexual activities. Despite their immersion in the culture, they still understand (somewhere, deep down) that it is wrong and sexual and not just dancing. This comes from being friends with people who decided to 'freak dance'.

I don't say this to argue, but to point out that it might be worse than one thinks, if one thinks it is motivated purely by a desire to 'dance'.

[prospectmom]

you may be right..... I see it only on a small level because of where I live.... But we are really lucky here Our school has standards ...most are in sports or other activities that hold them to a high standard ... again like I said I am lucky and I do not see it the way you do but can see your point and it only makes nme feel more blessed to live where I do.

[BenRaines]

Soulds like we got trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T that rhymes with D and stands for Dancing. Freaking Dancing.

Sorry. Music Man is one of my favorites.

Ben Raines

[Moksha]

Fads come and go. Seldom do we see the Macarena or the Achy Breaky Heart dances anymore. Outside of a Stake Dance, who does the Twist or the Amphibilogical Whimsy Dance? Do we not rejoice that slam dancing has become passe?

[prospectmom]

mosh pits---- ?? slam dancing ???? glad I missed out on that

[Maxel]

lol, the Macarena is often done at church dances- despite its horrible message and lyrics (I don't speak Spanish, so I've only heard the the lyrics are bad from secondhand sources).

I am concerned when the fads get worse and worse though... If the next dance tread is more sexually suggestive than the current Freak Dancing, what's next? I can't think of how one could wear less clothing or be more sexually provocative unless someone is actually having sex on the dance floor.

By the time my kids are in school, I am forbidding them to go to those social dances, if trends continue the way they are. Hopefully church dances will stay clean.

Edited February 8, 2009 by Maxel

[RainofGold]

you may be right..... I see it only on a small level because of where I live.... But we are really lucky here Our school has standards ...most are in sports or other activities that hold them to a high standard ... again like I said I am lucky and I do not see it the way you do but can see your point and it only makes nme feel more blessed to live where I do.

Hi Prospectmom,

You are right, you are lucky. Can I ask you what part of the US you live in?

I guess in Southern California

we are not as lucky

[prospectmom]

My married oldest daughter lives near San Diegp I love to visit......OUr school is very small and personal less than 100 high school students.

I live in Oregon in the mountains...

[RainofGold]

My married oldest daughter lives near San Diegp I love to visit......OUr school is very small and personal less than 100 high school students.

I live in Oregon in the mountains...

Wow having 100 high schools students must be nice. Our high school has close to 2,500 students in a city of 160,000 people.

[prospectmom]

Sometimes I feel our school is a step back in time with all the modern convienences... Everybody knows your name.. most call me mom.... The older kids ( did I mention our whole school k to 12 is on one campus) help out the younger kids. Most of our teachers have kids at the school. We have great community involvement. We have real food in the cafeteria...... Last year the graduating class was 12 this year it is almost 25.. :} Because we live in arural area we have less oppertunities than you all do, but we also hae no division into classes, almost nonexistant drug problem,, no gangs... anyway We are lucky ..

Edited February 8, 2009 by prospectmom

[miztrniceguy]

Rain I think you're doing an excellent job as mom and congrats that your daughter has high standards.