Update on stalker situation.

[RachelleDrew]

About two months ago I posted a thread on a situation regarding my husband's ex-girlfriend and her upsetting behavior. She was stalking my family and even followed me to my home ward. She may or may not have joined the church with the sole intention of following my family.

Here's the scoop: she no longer attends our ward, nor any ward. I don't wish for anyone to become inactive, but she allegedly stole money from some members and they went to the bishop about it. Obviously I don't know what happened from there, but she no longer shows up for sacrament. I think it probably has to do with embarrassment from getting found out stealing, but I don't know. Either way, she doesn't come around there anymore.

I don't see her or hear from her anymore, which is fine. The police had been contacted about her behavior and they noted everything to keep on file. We were not granted an order of protection because this isn't a domestic situation. We would have to go to court with her present to try and get an order in this situation.

We got a new employee at work this week, in an effort to try and get them connected with the crew at work, I told her to add me on facebook. That way I could add her to our work-related groups and let her share in the fun.

Last night I get a call from her asking "hey, which one of you do I add?" I wasn't sure what she meant, so she reiterated saying that there were TWO profiles in my name on facebook. I thought I had better check it out, so I searched my name.

Sure enough I found two profiles with my full name. One was mine, the other had a picture of me and my name but I didn't make it. I clicked on it, and somebody made a facebook profile with my name and my personal information, and pictures of me THAT I DIDN'T KNOW WERE TAKEN. It was not a private profile, so I could view everything they had up.

I recognized the writing style almost immediately. When we were exchanging nasty emails at the beginning of this discourse, I got first-hand exposure to how she writes. I am 100% sure it is her, she misspelled the same words she did in her emails to me, used the same type of slang and put about two pages worth of information in one huge paragraph just like she did in her emails. I emailed facebook immediately and let them know that there was someone pretending to be me on their website. After a couple of emails they removed the profile. This was after I realized that she had added half of the friends from my profile pretending to be me and even had convos with them on her/my wall.

I am so sick of this. If I didn't have a child that would be motherless after I went to prison I would probably hunt her down and beat her within an inch of her life. I don't understand why this person is so obsessed with me of all people.

I don't know what to do anymore. If for some reason I saw her in public I know I could not control myself, i'm pretty sure I would get into an altercation with her.

I have horrible anger issues, and i'm aware of what can happen when i'm provoked. I'm scared i'm going to wind up arrested or killed because of this stupid, stupid girl.

I really don't know what to do anymore.

[Guest missingsomething]

Wow.. whats scary is that there is nothing you can do to protect yourself... I guess she would have to threaten your life to get a restraining order? You need to contact facebook to tell them.

[Just_A_Guy]

Gosh, Rachelle, I wish I could help you.

Would a bit of humor help? (By complete coincidence, I stumbled on this ten minutes after reading your post.)

(Edit: Please don't think that I'm making light of your situation. It's just that, sometimes, all you can do is laugh. You know?)

Edited February 20, 2009 by Just_A_Guy

[Guest Ceeboos_Boss]

About two months ago I posted a thread on a situation regarding my husband's ex-girlfriend and her upsetting behavior. She was stalking my family and even followed me to my home ward. She may or may not have joined the church with the sole intention of following my family.

Here's the scoop: she no longer attends our ward, nor any ward. I don't wish for anyone to become inactive, but she allegedly stole money from some members and they went to the bishop about it. Obviously I don't know what happened from there, but she no longer shows up for sacrament. I think it probably has to do with embarrassment from getting found out stealing, but I don't know. Either way, she doesn't come around there anymore.

I don't see her or hear from her anymore, which is fine. The police had been contacted about her behavior and they noted everything to keep on file. We were not granted an order of protection because this isn't a domestic situation. We would have to go to court with her present to try and get an order in this situation.

We got a new employee at work this week, in an effort to try and get them connected with the crew at work, I told her to add me on facebook. That way I could add her to our work-related groups and let her share in the fun.

Last night I get a call from her asking "hey, which one of you do I add?" I wasn't sure what she meant, so she reiterated saying that there were TWO profiles in my name on facebook. I thought I had better check it out, so I searched my name.

Sure enough I found two profiles with my full name. One was mine, the other had a picture of me and my name but I didn't make it. I clicked on it, and somebody made a facebook profile with my name and my personal information, and pictures of me THAT I DIDN'T KNOW WERE TAKEN. It was not a private profile, so I could view everything they had up.

I recognized the writing style almost immediately. When we were exchanging nasty emails at the beginning of this discourse, I got first-hand exposure to how she writes. I am 100% sure it is her, she misspelled the same words she did in her emails to me, used the same type of slang and put about two pages worth of information in one huge paragraph just like she did in her emails. I emailed facebook immediately and let them know that there was someone pretending to be me on their website. After a couple of emails they removed the profile. This was after I realized that she had added half of the friends from my profile pretending to be me and even had convos with them on her/my wall.

I am so sick of this. If I didn't have a child that would be motherless after I went to prison I would probably hunt her down and beat her within an inch of her life. I don't understand why this person is so obsessed with me of all people.

I don't know what to do anymore. If for some reason I saw her in public I know I could not control myself, i'm pretty sure I would get into an altercation with her.

I have horrible anger issues, and i'm aware of what can happen when i'm provoked. I'm scared i'm going to wind up arrested or killed because of this stupid, stupid girl.

I really don't know what to do anymore.

WOW..Thats a crazy story but you really need to let all that anger go or you will drive yourself insane. (trust me i know)..

I wish i had some good advice for you but all i keep coming up with is WOW..I would suggest you do nothing if you see or hear from her sooner or later she'll move on or at least i hope so...

good luck with all of this...

[Dr T]

No, there is a new law that just needs to show that you were "scared" because of that person for the law to do anything now. Stalking has happened for years and years and years but now it is a crime.

[Elphaba]

Hi Rachelle,

I went online to see what the laws were about stalking and discovered this site that is fairly comprehensive, including stalking cases in your state. For example, the following is a case from Utah:

The court affirmed the defendant's conviction of stalking in the second degree and the stalking statute's constitutionality. The appeals court found that the state presented sufficient evidence to demonstrate that the defendant followed the victim, made threatening comments about her, frequented her business parking lot to frighten and intimidate her, and took deliberate steps to demonstrate that he was in possession and control of a shotgun.

You have documented enough incidents, some similar to the above, with the police, and in my opinion, you should take her to court or the crime of stalking.

I realize it is probably a problem in the sense that you can't afford a lawyer. But in my experience, it is a significant risk not to have one, as s/he knows how to present the evidence in a way that will be more persuasive. Also, if she is accused of the crime, she will have a lawyer as well, even if it is one appointed by the courts.

I also remember how frightened you were for your son, and I am still frightened for him, so that is another reason to take her to court.

I think you should contact the police immediately, and then a lawyer. This is scaring you, as it should, and I believe you still have options. Like T said, I think just the fact that she is scaring you is a sign of stalking.

At the very least though, report it to the police immediately, so you have one more thing documented. And please keep us updated. I am concerned for you.

Elphaba

[Just_A_Guy]

Are you in Utah?

Here are the instructions and paperwork on getting a civil stalking injunction. You don't even need a lawyer (though it is better if you have one).

Alternately, you can use the Online Court Assistance Program.

[lestertheemt]

I would do exactly what every one here has said to do. I would continue to check facebook to make sure another attempt isnt made IF it is copy EVERYTHING! I would also check myspace and other pages that she knows that you frequeant.

Document, document, and document.

Hang in there!

[LittleWyvern]

Having taken a cryptography course, I know some tips for preventing stalking on the internet. A good first step would be to take an assesment of all the personal information that you have ever put online. Assume that somebody could link all of them together, and take efforts to reduce this information until somebody could not uniquely identify you if they combined all that information. Second, you may want to consider encrypting personal information that you use in your communications. A free program called PGP provides excellent protection, although it can be a little difficult to initially set it up.

[RachelleDrew]

Thank you everyone.

For the record, I live in Illinois. In the middle of my correspondence with facebook they informed me that when your profile is "deleted" from their site it is never truly deleted. Which is why when you re-open an account after it has been closed all of your information is still there. So this is good news, even though the profile has been removed it can still be viewed by police and lawyers etc.

Legal assistance won't be a problem. My grandfather works for the state and has a couple of personal lawyers. They are all, of course, finance lawyers but he's already contacted them for referrals and he has offered to offset the cost of legal representation if I so need it.

The problem will be getting her to court in the first place. She is essentially, homeless. She lives with whomever she can until they get tired of her and kick her out. This is why she stayed in Utah so long, many nice LDS families see a young girl in their church down on her luck and they wanted to help her out. But she burned them all as well and wound up back here. Shortly after my husband and I began dating, she and a friend busted a window out in my husband's apartment, and the police could never find her to serve her papers for court. The date kept getting pushed back and suspended until we finally dropped the charges because she moved to Utah.

I'm not scared she will do something to me. I own a firearm and I know that she is terrified of me after I approached her at the height of all this a couple of years ago and she immediately started crying and shaking in fear. She is a coward.

The people i'm worried about are my husband (she came after him with a knife when they were dating, poor guy couldn't even bear to hit a woman who was attacking him so he fled) and my son. I work and go to school full time, i'm not around very often and I can't keep an eye on them 24/7. My husband doesn't know how to shoot a gun, and has never raised a hand at anyone in his life. My son is not quite a year old.

I just wish she would come to my house already so I could just shoot her and get it over with. She knows where I live, where I work and where I get my education. If she wants to hurt me, she knows where to find me at almost any time of the day. But I know that it's not me she wants to physically harm. Emotionally yes, but she knows better than to raise a hand in my direction. But I do think she is nutso enough to try and hurt my family.

Thank you all for the links and the support. I'm trying very hard not to let this anger consume me, but it's been beyond trying. I've never truly wanted someone dead before in my life, and now that I do I feel wretched every minute of the day.

[Tamrajh]

I'm sorry Rachelle. I hope things get better. Soon.

Be safe.

[talisyn]

Thank you everyone.

I just wish she would come to my house already so I could just shoot her and get it over with.

While I can certainly understand the sentiment I have to urge restraint

Is there any kind of law in your state about identity theft that would cover your situation with Facebook? Just imagine if she took out credit cards, library cards, or even held up a bank using your name. Scaaary.

Eternal vigilance! She'll get hers soon enough, sadly you just have to wait it out until she makes a mistake.

[Guest loveofthelord94]

About two months ago I posted a thread on a situation regarding my husband's ex-girlfriend and her upsetting behavior. She was stalking my family and even followed me to my home ward. She may or may not have joined the church with the sole intention of following my family.

Here's the scoop: she no longer attends our ward, nor any ward. I don't wish for anyone to become inactive, but she allegedly stole money from some members and they went to the bishop about it. Obviously I don't know what happened from there, but she no longer shows up for sacrament. I think it probably has to do with embarrassment from getting found out stealing, but I don't know. Either way, she doesn't come around there anymore.

I don't see her or hear from her anymore, which is fine. The police had been contacted about her behavior and they noted everything to keep on file. We were not granted an order of protection because this isn't a domestic situation. We would have to go to court with her present to try and get an order in this situation.

We got a new employee at work this week, in an effort to try and get them connected with the crew at work, I told her to add me on facebook. That way I could add her to our work-related groups and let her share in the fun.

Last night I get a call from her asking "hey, which one of you do I add?" I wasn't sure what she meant, so she reiterated saying that there were TWO profiles in my name on facebook. I thought I had better check it out, so I searched my name.

Sure enough I found two profiles with my full name. One was mine, the other had a picture of me and my name but I didn't make it. I clicked on it, and somebody made a facebook profile with my name and my personal information, and pictures of me THAT I DIDN'T KNOW WERE TAKEN. It was not a private profile, so I could view everything they had up.

I recognized the writing style almost immediately. When we were exchanging nasty emails at the beginning of this discourse, I got first-hand exposure to how she writes. I am 100% sure it is her, she misspelled the same words she did in her emails to me, used the same type of slang and put about two pages worth of information in one huge paragraph just like she did in her emails. I emailed facebook immediately and let them know that there was someone pretending to be me on their website. After a couple of emails they removed the profile. This was after I realized that she had added half of the friends from my profile pretending to be me and even had convos with them on her/my wall.

I am so sick of this. If I didn't have a child that would be motherless after I went to prison I would probably hunt her down and beat her within an inch of her life. I don't understand why this person is so obsessed with me of all people.

I don't know what to do anymore. If for some reason I saw her in public I know I could not control myself, i'm pretty sure I would get into an altercation with her.

I have horrible anger issues, and i'm aware of what can happen when i'm provoked. I'm scared i'm going to wind up arrested or killed because of this stupid, stupid girl.

I really don't know what to do anymore.

it is never right to use your fists against another. I suggest you turn to the light of the lord to solve your problems. The bible DOES have everything you need in life, and more.

~Tobias

[MorningStar]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! I say do every legal thing you can no matter how big of a pain it is. And let your neighbors know. Do you have a picture of her to show them?

Facebook should be able to back you up with the proof that she basically took your identity. Prayers for you.

[marshac]

I'm going to second what other have said and also suggest you contact the police and see if you're able to file a police report. You might also contact a lawyer and see what some of your options are.

Good luck!

Just a side thought- I don't know what the laws are like in Illinois, but you might check out a CCW (concealed weapons permit) unless you're absolutely sure this person means you no physical harm.

[GingerGolden]

* just a thought

Another idea to consider is talking with your Bishop and then go talk to a church counselor.

It will be helpful for finding ways to release your anger in a positive way.

Allowing all that anger to build is not good for you or your family.

[jolee65]

It sounds more like she doesnt know any better, making stupid decissions and scared when faced with the law, you or a stable environment, shes troubled no dought about that do what you can legally but dont approach her in public, bad idea.

People that act like this usually had something tramatic happen in there life. they blow every good thing that comes along, because they dont believe anything will ever last.