A blessing or a curse?

[jolioh]

I was baptized this April.

Two months later I started dating a sister in my own ward.

Everything went on just great, so I appreciated God's blessing on a daily basis.

Two more months later, she started to like another brother via email.

Here are my questions:

1. Is it okay for the brother (who is raised up in a Mormon family) to date my sister, who has stated openly our plan for the temple marriage next June (and asked me for the wedding ring)?

2. What should I do when she seems so undecided and asks for more time?

3. Based on her, she's been chosen to have her picture put in the new version of Principles of the Gospel, isn't it ironic for anyone who knows her deeds? Should I reveal this to anyone?

Edited September 24, 2009 by jolioh

[jadams_4040]

I was baptized this April.

Two months later I started dating a sister in my own ward.

Everything went on just great, so I appreciated God's blessing on a daily basis.

Two more months later, she started to like another brother via email.

Here are my questions:

1. Is it okay for the brother to date my sister, who has stated openly our plan for the temple marriage next June (and asked me for the wedding ring)?

2. What should I do when she seems so undecided and asks for more time?

3. Based on her, she's been chosen to have her picture in the new version of Principles of the Gospel, isn't it ironic for anyone who knows her deeds? Should I reveal this to anyone?

sounds like maybe a little more time would be approppriate before getting any more involved. its better to find out now it wasnt right rather than later after a couple kids are involved.:)

And besides it will turn out to be a blessing one way or the other in the long run.

[pam]

2. What should I do when she seems so undecided and asks for more time?

Sounds like a red flag to me.

[bmy-]

I'd turn tail and run. If she chases you.. perhaps she deserves another chance. If not..

[HEthePrimate]

sounds like maybe a little more time would be approppriate before getting any more involved. its better to find out now it wasnt right rather than later after a couple kids are involved.:)

And besides it will turn out to be a blessing one way or the other in the long run.

I agree with jadams_4040. Give her the space/time she needs to make up her mind. Like jadams said, it's better to know now than later if this friend of yours really wants to make that commitment to you. There's really no need for the decision to be made immediately--by either of you. Remember, you just met her in April...

Peace,

HEP

[Maxel]

Here are my questions:

1. Is it okay for the brother (who is raised up in a Mormon family) to date my sister, who has stated openly our plan for the temple marriage next June (and asked me for the wedding ring)?

2. What should I do when she seems so undecided and asks for more time?

Umm... She's pushing marriage on you but starting to date another man and simultaneously asking for more time?

Sounds like an unhealthy situation, friend.

[Misshalfway]

You need to sit down with your girlfriend and lay this out. This isn't about church rules or if her behavior should be "reported". This is about your own self respect and how you let people treat you.

If this girl is really serious about marrying you, she wouldn't be thinking about other guys. She sounds immature and like she might be rather flighty with her feelings.

I would decide if she really is the girl you want to be with. Perhaps you should walk away rather than settle for someone who will just jerk your heart around while she plays you and the field at the same tiem.

[Kenny]

The most important thing in all of this is your commitment. She is not 100% sure but is trying to be.

This doesn't mean she won’t find you acceptable as her eternal companion.

Be absolutely sure she is who you want and she has your heart anything less you will struggle.

Relationships require a great deal of work so mutual commitment is essential.

When someone errs it should be contained within the relationship, revealing it is the ultimate betrayal and only proves that there is no trust vital to a lasting relationship.

In short if you love her and she is worth the effort do whatever it takes to remove the inner doubts.

[FunkyTown]

Jolioh? Here is the answer to your questions:

1) It is okay for this brother to go after her. Dating is a rough animal: Sometimes, someone will come along and try to take the person you're dating. Happens to guys and girls. If it happens, you two were never meant to be. Accept it and move on, shrug and grin - Better you date someone faithful now than find out they can't be faithful after.

2) Give her more time. I agree with BMY. Give her more time by not dating her. She'll either come around or won't.

3) Should you gossip about how this woman is dating you but interested in another guy? No. In fact, even asking this suggests you have some growing up to do. I'm sorry to say this, especially to a new convert, but it's true. You sound like you aren't ready for marriage. If you truly loved her - The only reason to get married - It wouldn't occur to you to EVER try to publicly embarass the woman you love.

I was baptized this April.

Two months later I started dating a sister in my own ward.

Everything went on just great, so I appreciated God's blessing on a daily basis.

Two more months later, she started to like another brother via email.

Here are my questions:

1. Is it okay for the brother (who is raised up in a Mormon family) to date my sister, who has stated openly our plan for the temple marriage next June (and asked me for the wedding ring)?

2. What should I do when she seems so undecided and asks for more time?

3. Based on her, she's been chosen to have her picture put in the new version of Principles of the Gospel, isn't it ironic for anyone who knows her deeds? Should I reveal this to anyone?