Is this a sign???

[beefche]

I put this in the LDS Gospel discussion because I've seen this happen so many times with LDS members. But I fully acknowledge that anyone (believer or not) can try to do this.

I want to caution all of us (myself included) into looking at events as "signs" from God. First, I am not denying that God can give us signs and answers to prayer through various means. But, more often than not, He will answer prayers when a question is actually asked of Him.

Most often this comes up in dating relationships. A boy meets a girl, finds her attractive, thinks it's love, and then while reading the scriptures/praying/attending the temple/washing the car, etc., her face/name pops into his head. Suddenly, he's convinced it's a sign from God that she is to be his.

Infatuation is the first part of love. Infatuation means "1. to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment 2 : to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration." In other words, one is obsessed with the object of their passion--the person's face/name will appear at random times.

When one begins dating someone and finds that person extremely attractive (physically, emotionally, etc.), then infatuation sets in. God will not suddenly place that person's face/name into your mind while attending the temple. He is going to require you to use your brain, date the person, get to know the person, decide on marriage, then ask Him if it is right. As with any spiritual choice, He will answer you. But don't expect to see a girl in church, learn her name is Laura, attend the temple, think of Laura whateverherlastnameis, and then think that as a sign from God.

Before anyone think I'm pointing fingers, I've recently fallen into this trap. I studied, researched, made a decision, and then prayed about moving out of state. I received what I believe is confirmation from God that my decision to move was right. Recently I was asked to serve in a Stake calling. I accepted after I made sure they knew I had plans on moving. Then I caught myself thinking, "maybe this is a sign that I'm not supposed to move." I had to mentally slap myself for that.

Again, I'm not saying that God can't/won't give us "signs" but I think He has made it clear to us how He will answer prayers. And a random thought isn't one of those ways.

[Guest Godless]

I dated a girl named Laura once. It didn't end well.

I agree 100%. Infatuation is a very deceptive thing that many people confuse with love. Heck, I've fallen into that trap before. Whenever you are faced with a potentially life-altering decision, it's important to look at the situation objectively and put a lot of thought (and prayer, if that's what you're into) into it rather than leaping head-first into something that could have huge long-term effects. Whether you're facing a big move, a serious relationship, or a change in your career, you have to be patient and analyze the situation very carefully. The answer isn't going to leap out of nowhere. Life just doesn't work that way, and I'm pretty sure that your God doesn't either.

[deseretgov]

Well while I was a missionary I saw a girl at our meeting house. It was my first time to see her. As soon as I saw her I almost heard a voice say, "She's the one." I talked to her and found out she was from a neighboring area and was in the district relief society presidency. I only saw her a couple times after that but about four years later she became my wife.

I'm thinking that was probably a sign. And since I was a missionary I wasn't looking for a future spouse. I don't know why I recieved that inspiration at that time, but I did and it came to pass.

Of course after my mission when I contacted her I didn't use what happened to try and convince her into liking me. I didn't tell her that until after we were already together.

Edited October 19, 2009 by deseretgov

[beefche]

Again, I'm not saying that the Lord will not provide a sign.

What I'm saying is I've heard so many people that sees a boy at church, didn't get his name and then suddenly see him at the grocery store. Too many times, I've heard people say that I just knew it was a sign. I noticed him at church and now look! he shops at the same store!

True story: A few older single adults were at a SA activity. Men and women were sitting and talking. The subject came up of "love at first sight". The men said they expect that upon seeing "the right woman", they would know automatically because the Spirit will tell them. Really? So, one doesn't have to even know if she is single/married--you just see her, the Spirit smacks you over the head and boom all is happily ever after. WRONG! The chances of that happening are so rare that you are more likely to have heartburn than have the Spirit tell you upon first seeing someone that "she's the one."

[FairChild]

Some people really focus on signs. Once a bird pooped on my dad's truck and it formed a picture of one of his aunt's face. He called me long distance to tell me about his "sign." He refused to wash his truck because if he did that, the picture would dissolve away and would no longer be there. He would lose his sign. More than 20 years later I still wonder what that bird poop was a sign of. As far as I know, nothing really happened.

[Jbs2763]

maybe you just need to move outta marion co?

i know of a nice lil house in brownsburg for sale

[deseretgov]

Some people really focus on signs. Once a bird pooped on my dad's truck and it formed a picture of one of his aunt's face. He called me long distance to tell me about his "sign." He refused to wash his truck because if he did that, the picture would dissolve away and would no longer be there. He would lose his sign. More than 20 years later I still wonder what that bird poop was a sign of. As far as I know, nothing really happened.

So did it ever rain?

[sixpacktr]

Beeche,

You are exactly right. I have moved around several times for better jobs, and have had 'signs' that what I was doing was right, and at times nothing at all. I guess the surest sign of a 'sign' is that the Spirit will then confirm that it was indeed a sign.

We all fall into this trap. It is easier. 'Tell me what to do, and I'll do it', we say. In reality, that was Satan's plan. Tell us exactly what to do at all times, take away faith, take away growth, take away using your own brain, he'll just shepherd us right back to where we were. We wouldn't have to have any of those pesky problems like making our own decision, etc.

D&C 8 and 9, Elder Scott's most recent talk, etc., show us how the Lord confirms to us what is real, what is his will. However (warning, MY OPINION), many times I believe that he simply doesn't care one way or the other. I do believe that He steps in in some cases, but in many, we are to work it out for ourselves and grow.

[Hemidakota]

Agreed...

[beefche]

maybe you just need to move outta marion co?

i know of a nice lil house in brownsburg for sale

LOL! You just want me closer to you so you can torment me!

[will227457]

infatuation is a real problem in our culture and leads to people getting married way to quickly...look at the divorce rate in the church....

[NeuroTypical]

I occasionally hear stories about guys who try to get women to marry them, because "I had a [revalation/dream/vision] that you promised yourself to me in the pre-existence."

I've told my daughters that if some boy ever tries that on them, a fair response would be "Maybe I did, but I used my agency and changed my mind."

LM

[annamaureen]

God says that "it is not meet to command in all things." We need to make decisions prayerfully, yes, but we can't expect him to spoonfeed everything to us and give us signs telling us exactly what to do. He gave us a mind for a reason.

I learned this for myself, when deciding whether or not to marry my husband. I was expecting a shining light or some equally "intense" spiritual experience, and my whole decision hinged on that. But I eventually figured out that God wants us to make smart, thoughtful, positive choices on our own. Which was what I did, and it's turned out beautifully for me so far. :)

Edited October 20, 2009 by annamaureen

[Misshalfway]

So, Beef, you have decided to move yet a leadership calling comes and you wonder if it is a sign to change your course. Hmmm.....It might be or maybe it is just the machine of the church working. Perhaps you would have been good in that calling. Maybe the calling was more the ideas of man than the ideas that come from revelation. I honestly think that only you can discern the spirit of what's happening. I think that we need to take these things to prayer and we need to take the time to search inside the spirit. I think sometimes we assume meanings that aren't there or perhaps miss bigger lessons. Maybe the Lord does work in code and he expects us to use our earthy decoder rings to figure things out. OR maybe he just gives us lots of things to choose from. Often it is a choice between two good roads and the spirit is present with both because both could bring good things. Or.....maybe it is a test to see if we will listen to the spirit that is telling us to leave jerusalem even though we are leaving good things behind.

[beefche]

I think we all fall into that trap of "just tell me what to do and I'll do it." I'm extremely nervous about this potential move and so anything prompts me to doubt my decision. I absolutely know that whatever happens (move or not) I'll be fine. Either decision would be good. But I think we all want that big neon sign in the sky to say, "YES BEEF! YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION! ALL GOOD THINGS WILL COME TO YOU FOR THIS DECISION! YOU ARE DONE MAKING DECISIONS!"

Unfortunately, I see this happening more often than not when it comes to dating/marriage. Such an important decision, but so many people want to rely on some "sign." I met a girl, we dated twice, then while I was passing a sealing room in the temple I thought of her--IT'S A SIGN!

I wish I could impress on each young, dating person that such an important decision should be made patiently and wisely. Yes, of course, allow emotions and attraction to help--but there is work and thought that needs to be done as well. God WILL answer your prayers, but He expects you to use that thing on your shoulders He gave you as part of the process.

[FairChild]

It's rained since then and dad has long gotten rid of that truck.

[deseretgov]

It's rained since then and dad has long gotten rid of that truck.

Poor auntie.