Pacifiers in nursery?

[jadeshuhoi]

I am just wondering if I am the only one who thinks it is silly to not allow a 18 month his pacifier in nursery, becasue "they had problems in the past" with pacifiers.

:confused:

[jadeshuhoi]

I understand that children are developmentally different then other children at their same age. And I understand that at 18 months my DS is still developmentally dependant on a pacifier as babies are so orally fixated, and soothed as well. To me it seems mean not to let a baby have his comfort method. What do others think?

It seems like an innocent thing, an 18 month old using a pacifiers, turns out it is not. I have been regularly bringing my DS to the nursery with me to acquaint him with the leaders. Today was his first day alone, for about 30 min after I stayed with him in there for about 45min. He was only in ther for 30 min becasue that is all everyone could handle the leaders, and my DS. So after about 10 min of him crying on and off I had a friend bring him his pacifier, and one of the primary presidency brought it back and told me he was doing fine. Then a little while later he was brought to me turns out they didn't want him to have the pacifier. After church I was approached by one of the nursery leaders approached me to tell me that ther are to be no pacifiers in nursery, and that the Biishopric member over the primary said the same, as they are worried about swine flu. And she asked if he had a blanket or something to bring in with him.

I don't see any differnce to a blanket that could be infested with germs and a pacifier that could be kept in a bag or something until the 18 month old needed it. Except that It seems stereotypically a baby thing to have a pacifier. When he needs the pacifier he is probably unconsolable; as that is when I give him his pacifier at home, and furthermore, they are usually holding him when it gets to this point and they could make sure no kids "take it from him and popped it in their mouth" About the swine flu my thought was that if they are worried about swine flu, then all the children should wash their hands before coming in. And that anyone who sucks on their fingers should have to go wash as well. But I am not really the one worried about the swine flu, beccasue if I was I would never leave the house. I try to never ttake sick kids to the nursery, and I am conservative with handling germs. But this pacifier thing is baffling me as I feel like the two nursery leaders are AWESOME! ANd I don't want to pick a silly battle.

When I talked to the nursery leader I just told her nicely that it was a transition for us all, I was being extra positive, becasue her words to me a (and others that were within hearing distance) that she was taking the wrong approach, it was pretty negative. Any how I didn't want to hurt her feelings or make a big deal of something so small. I just told ther nicely that it was going to be a transition for all involved, and we would see how it went. I wasn't really satisfied, with the conversation as the primary president is ready to help me in my corner, and these two leaders have kids my age and seem so unbending, and 'old school' in certain areas (not that the 'old school is bad by any means). I realize that they are in service positions, and they are doing everything else so wonderfully, so I just want some advice, and some perspective from you other all knowing parents out there! :)

[pam]

In a small way I can see their concern. Other kids that also have a dependency on a pacifier might pick it up and start sucking on it themself. I can see it as a way to minimize the passing of germs.

[Generally_Me]

I can see it too. Actually, our DD didn't go to nursery much, due to general germiness. We didn't use a pacifier due to the orthodontia worry, if she stayed on it for too long. Many of the toddlers in our ward accompany their parents to Relief Society/Priesthood, and use their own toys/blankets rather than a general shared lot.

She probably should have approached you privately instead of in public, but I do not blame them for not allowing the pacifier.

[Gwen]

i have to say i can understand the rule of no pacifiers in nursery... not just the "another kid that is used to them might pick it up and use it... germ sharing thing" but in the emotional issues kids that age get into. that is a common age for many parents to start weaning their kids off the pacifiers and that can be very hard for a kid then to have to spend 2 hours with other kids who can have them while theirs has been taken away.... could start a fight or two.

that being said i can also understand the frustration of a parent. you are doing the best you can for your kid, you know your kid better than anyone. to have to spend 2 hours at church unable to focus on your class cause you are worried your kid is being let to cry for 30 min or more at a time over a pacifier? not cool either. being separated from mom and dad for the first time really is hard but to have your only means of coping yanked too. hardly seems fair to a child.

my 18 month old treats her bottle like a pacifier (she would never take a pacifier). i use the drop in liners so she's not just getting air if there is nothing in it. sometimes she doesn't want anything in it, she just wants to have it. i've weaned her down to one actual bottle a day (just before bed). but she will carry an empty bottle around when she gets tired. one thing i've been doing is she can't take it with us when we go somewhere (only time i don't follow that is if the drive will be an hour or more). she loves to go places so it's not hard for her to give it up to get in the car. i find this to be working for us. she is the only one of mine that has ever been this dependent on something other than a blankie. i always treated blankies the same as well, only time they got to bring it out and about with us is if it were going to be a long drive or we'd be out past bedtime and they would be falling asleep in the car. when they do/did bring it with them they had to leave it in the car. we don't take blankies or bottles or whatever in the store, or restaurant, or church, etc. so far that's worked to make for a very smooth and natural weaning process for us.

not sure any of that is helpful.... just my perspective on it i guess. lol good luck with finding an answer for your situation.

[NeuroTypical]

It doesn't matter whether I think it's silly or not. Parents get to raise their kids how they see fit.

I have a lot of respect for nursery workers who have to juggle so many parent's differing and contradictory wishes. I remember when I was in nursery, having a very hard time keeping my mouth shut about some of the dumb stuff parents wanted. But keeping my mouth shut was what the situation called for.

LM

[RachelleDrew]

I don't personally agree with children over the age of 1 year old using a pacifier or drinking from a bottle. However, my personal thoughts on child rearing are irrelevant when i'm in the nursery. Like LM says, you have to keep your mouth shut sometimes.

I hope that your nursery leader isn't letting her personal views on pacifiers take over her decision making process, because it's not her place. But I know that where i'm from the wards/branches won't allow any sort of oral placation in primary.

1. Germ issue

2. Causes problems with parents who don't want their kids to have pacifiers. Kinda like giving half of the class candy, and not the other class. Huge issues, I promise you.

3. We generally don't want various items in their mouths in case they fall. Those toddlers really manage to injure themselves in the worst of ways. Especially if they are running with a bottle/sippy/pacifier in their mouths.

I'm guessing it's one of the reasons mentioned above. If not, then your nursery leader needs to stuff it.

[lydlou]

If it was an issue i felt strongly enuf about i would keep my child with me, nomater what her age. If swine flu is the only excuse given i would say so thing to the effect of "be sure to let me know when thats nolonger a consern. i dont think shes ready to make this transition with out a binky" if i realy wanted to force the isue i would politly add: "unless that is you'd rather i keep her with me until she nolonger uses a binky. of course that wont be for another 6 months at least."