Does it require going to the Bishop?

[because1]

I am a little confused. Should one seek counsel from the bishop for very heavy passionate kissing, heavy necking and "making out"? How serious is this? Can one repent on their own? For an endowed member, what is considered "sexual relations"?

Clarification: Hands and mouth have stayed above the waist.

Update: Thank you everyone for your posts. It really helped me. I did see the Bishop and the answer is "yes", it needs to. Thanks again people.

Edited December 13, 2009 by because1
update

[bytor2112]

I am a little confused. Should one seek counsel from the bishop for very heavy passionate kissing, heavy necking and "making out"? How serious is this? Can one repent on their own? For an endowed member, what is considered "sexual relations"?

I would think as long as it was lip to lip and not roaming hands and/or other such activities that will doubtless follow unbridled passion...then you should be fine seeking the Lord in prayer only. But, I will say, you should never fear speaking to your Bishop...he is only there to help.

Maybe you should consider group dating or...marriage.:) "Sexual relations" is the same whether one is endowed or not. The Lord's standards are the same for everyone...even non members.

[because1]

Thanks for the reply. I don't want to inconvenience the Bishop unnecessarily. Roaming hands and mouth have stayed above the waist.

[Misshalfway]

Well.....there are two things to consider above the waist.

(sorry....I couldn't help myself.)

Seriously, if one is endowed and the sexual activity involved errogenous zones then a bishop should be involved.

[pam]

Well the roaming hands above the waist could be considered petting.

From a talk by M. Russel Ballard:

They seem to forget that the Lord forbids all sexual relations before marriage, including petting, sex perversion of any kind, or preoccupation with sex in thought, speech, or action

[Just_A_Guy]

Generally speaking:

If you feel inclined to ask, then the answer is "yes".

[Palerider]

If it went below the neck you should consider speaking with your Bishop.

If he is a Priesthood Holder and it went below the neck he needs to speak with his Bishop.....thats my opinion:) I could be wrong.

[sleepless3977]

If it went below the neck you should consider speaking with your Bishop.

If he is a Priesthood Holder and it went below the neck he needs to speak with his Bishop.....thats my opinion:) I could be wrong.

totally agree.

but if still in doubt, talk to your Bishop about it.

[beefche]

Can I share a story? It's related, I promise.

After my mission, I returned to Bulgaria with my father for a visit with my relatives. We were there during a time of ritual for their church. It was the one year anniversary of my dad's brother's death. The ritual is that the family brings food and drink to the gravesite, place the food, pour the drink, light candles and say a recited prayer over the grave. As part of the ceremony, each person takes a drink of whiskey. Now, this is a solemn and serious ceremony for them and I in no way wanted to detract from that. They knew that I didn't drink alcohol and that it was my religion. But, to them, drinking alcohol IS part of their religion.

So, what to do? I could simply say no--but I knew that 2 things WOULD happen. My aunt would insist and literally force the bottle to my lips and I would also offend them greatly. So, in the 2 seconds I had to decide, I decided to simply place my thumb over the mouth of the bottle, tip it to my lips, and pretend.

But, I questioned my decision. Was I being a horrible example of a "good" Mormon? Did I actually break the WoW? Do I need to confess anything?

Once I came home to my home branch, I saw my branch president. I told him that I still felt that I had done the right thing, but that I was feeling guilty over it. So, I "confessed" to him. Just telling him about it made me feel better. What he helped me with was understanding the Spirit and how He works in our life. He helped me put this in perspective and forgive myself for whatever "wrong" I felt I had committed.

So, how is this related? If I had not "confessed" I think I would still wonder and feel some guilt to this day. As someone said earlier, if you have to ask, then it's just better to go talk to the bishop. And in your case, it is easy to justify physical acts slowly. So, although you may not be committing "sin", you may be in danger of committing it. Your bishop can be that unbiased eye to help you make decisions on how physical to be and not be.

[Guest mormonmusic]

This is one of those condundrums that challenges experienced brains. Looking toward the future -- would it be possible to share your concerns with the leaders in your family, and ask if you can use a substitute liquid in place of the whiskey? Express your personal beliefs, your desire to do what is respectful in the situation, without breaking your commitment to your personal beliefs?

I think what you did struck a balance between obeying the WoW and also avoiding an unpleasant situation with your family. However, family members may not see your action as not consonant with your religious beliefs.

I'm not familiar with the tradition, or how the depth of its meaning to your family, so I hope my question doesn't sound shallow....

To Because1's question -- I say see the Bishop on that one. And also, another rule that helps -- never be horizontal.

Edited December 1, 2009 by mormonmusic