cherylabq Posted January 20, 2010 Report Posted January 20, 2010 I heard or read something about a young woman leader covering a girl's bare shoulders with napkins or paper towels at a church activity. I believe President Hinckley made a comment that we should not humiliate people and how that leader was wrong to do that. I've searched to find this story but can't find it anywhere. Does anyone have any reference to that? Thanks so much! Quote
Gwen Posted January 21, 2010 Report Posted January 21, 2010 can't help ya with a reference, never heard that story. when i read the first sentence i was thinking "noooooo"... was very relieved to see you were looking for the reference as to why it's wrong. Quote
Generally_Me Posted January 22, 2010 Report Posted January 22, 2010 Was that in the same talk where he was talking about children ripping the cross off of other children? Quote
cherylabq Posted January 22, 2010 Author Report Posted January 22, 2010 Don't think so...that doesn't sound familiar. Quote
pam Posted January 22, 2010 Report Posted January 22, 2010 The story sounds vaguely familiar but I can't find anything on it. Quote
annamaureen Posted January 22, 2010 Report Posted January 22, 2010 Reminds me of a youth dance I went to when I was younger... a teenage investigator was there with a member friend. She was wearing a dress and tights, and the dress was just a wee bit too short. She was asked to leave, and left in tears. I bet she wasn't too interested in the church after that. Quote
Nikkie85 Posted January 23, 2010 Report Posted January 23, 2010 Was that in the same talk where he was talking about children ripping the cross off of other children?umm...this sounds kinda scary! Quote
cherylabq Posted January 24, 2010 Author Report Posted January 24, 2010 The exact thing happened at our stake dance annamaureen...the only difference was that the girl was a recent baptized member and brought her non member boyfriend who dressed up but didn't have a tie on. She had a dress that was about an inch above her knee but she was wearing leggings too. The two kids had spent time getting ready and were so excited for their first LDS dance...they even turned down a drinking party to attend. One of the stake YW leaders sent them home but said..."you can come back"...the high councilor was not happy; I guess they have ties that kids can wear but didn't offer one. The girl is now disallusioned with the church (I'm pretty sure it's due to embarrassment). So sad... Quote
talisyn Posted January 24, 2010 Report Posted January 24, 2010 The exact thing happened at our stake dance annamaureen...the only difference was that the girl was a recent baptized member and brought her non member boyfriend who dressed up but didn't have a tie on. She had a dress that was about an inch above her knee but she was wearing leggings too. The two kids had spent time getting ready and were so excited for their first LDS dance...they even turned down a drinking party to attend. One of the stake YW leaders sent them home but said..."you can come back"...the high councilor was not happy; I guess they have ties that kids can wear but didn't offer one. The girl is now disallusioned with the church (I'm pretty sure it's due to embarrassment). So sad...They need to go to another dance, this time with a whole posse of fellow LDS kids to shield them from unthinking adults. Seriously, don't these people have sense enough to have a nice little chat with the kids instead of humiliating them? Quote
MorningStar Posted January 24, 2010 Report Posted January 24, 2010 At our stake dances, they would add fabric to the girls skirts and had a collection of ugly ties for the boys to wear in hopes of encouraging them to wear their own next time. Our stake required dresses and ties. A neighboring stake didn't. Quote
ferretrunner Posted January 24, 2010 Report Posted January 24, 2010 My mind went somewhere else totally when I read the title of the thread. The British use the term "napkin" to refer to a diaper. What?! Someone put a diaper on a YW's shoulders..ewww. Sure hope it was a fresh one. Sorry. I hope this is along the lines of a teaching story told somewhere. I'd hate to think that it's true and someone humilated the YW that way. As for being asked to leave the dance- that's harsh. Pull the YW in question aside and explain the beliefs and customs of the Church. Allow her to stay and encourage her to participate again, in proper attire. Her friend can help her to know. Anyho, that's my take on it. Quote
Elgama Posted January 24, 2010 Report Posted January 24, 2010 At the risk of being pedantic, the term "napkin" hasn't been used to refer to a "diaper" in about 150 years or so. We call them nappies. Quote
Dravin Posted January 24, 2010 Report Posted January 24, 2010 At the risk of being pedantic, the term "napkin" hasn't been used to refer to a "diaper" in about 150 years or so. We call them nappies.At least it wasn't a story about a fannie pack. :) Quote
Elgama Posted January 24, 2010 Report Posted January 24, 2010 At least it wasn't a story about a fannie pack. :)or the Elders Quorum sitting there in Vest, Pants and Suspenders, I will never look at the Stake President of my husband's home Stake the sameway again Quote
deseretgov Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 Napkin in the Philippines refers to a female hygiene product. A "tissue" would be the term for the thin pieces of paper. But it seems stupid to humiliate someone just to enforce the standards. The law was created for man man was not created for the law. Basically when push comes to shove, people are more improtant than the law. Quote
ferretrunner Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 At the risk of being pedantic, the term "napkin" hasn't been used to refer to a "diaper" in about 150 years or so. We call them nappies.Sorry about that. I've been reading some fiction and the like either written during that time period or taking place in that time period lately. I remember my mom referring to them as nappies now. Funny how words can mean different things in different cultures- even when we supposedly speak the same language. Quote
Elgama Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 Sorry about that. I've been reading some fiction and the like either written during that time period or taking place in that time period lately. I remember my mom referring to them as nappies now. Funny how words can mean different things in different cultures- even when we supposedly speak the same language.my kids are bilingual American and English lol Quote
talisyn Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 At our stake dances, they would add fabric to the girls skirts and had a collection of ugly ties for the boys to wear in hopes of encouraging them to wear their own next time. Our stake required dresses and ties. A neighboring stake didn't.Yes, if they can have ties for the guys they should have a ready supply of cardigans for the girls. IDK what to do about a too short skirt though, do they safety pin the material to the dress hem? I can see the point of not wanting the other kids to think it's ok to wear inappropriate clothes, but teens are touchy creatures, prone to hurt feelings and grudges. Handle with care should be stamped on the foreheads of all teens, boys and girls. Quote
ozzy Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 In honesty, I probably wouldn't go to dances if it was a general requirement that I had to wear a tie. I mean sure a formal dance would be fine, but all the dances? I'd have my own back yard dance on 5 acres and just have everyone over there instead. :) Not that I mind wearing ties, I just happen to prefer casual dances... heavily. :) Quote
Elgama Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 ok personally I don't know why with a new member or investigator a quiet word As a YW new member I found knowing what to wear when very difficult to get the hang of it would have been nice to have been told before the event Quote
Gwen Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 unless the youth has on extremely inappropriate clothing i think nothing should be said. (no ugly ties or material pinned to the hem of a skirt or shawls over the shoulders) all the other youth know the standard. let them have the fun and build the positive experiences. then when appropriate have a lesson geared to teach all the kids about the lines and the standards. no need to point out anyone specific, they will learn. even though they don't act like it most teens are bright enough to figure it out. if it becomes a repeated problem (particularly after repeated lessons) then you pull them aside on a different day, not at the dance, and have a private talk with them. keeping in mind that the issue may be that they don't own the appropriate clothes. be prepared to help without humiliation or pity. if a lot of youth are having a problem then a youth fireside is in order. Quote
pam Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 I think it depends on how the rules of the dance were presented. When I was a youth it required a dance card signed by the Bishop to go to a youth dance. Before the Bishop would sign that card, the rules of what kind of clothing (which included the length of the dress, shirt/tie) were explained. So when the youth went to do the dance they knew EXACTLY what the rules were as they had to know them to get the dance card. Quote
john doe Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 They still do the dance cards in my area as well. No card, no entry. Quote
Gwen Posted January 25, 2010 Report Posted January 25, 2010 i've never heard of the dance cards..... i think it's a great idea though. Quote
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