Need advice on a friend of mine

[nathan93]

I always had this friend of mine who seemed like he needed the Book of Mormon in his life, he's a non denominational Christian and he claims he is open to any religion that is true, and this disheartened me a little bit because he has never really been willing to even talk to me about what we as mormons believe, I know for a fact he has nothing but a knowledge of the basics such as joseph smith.

I had a talk to him tonight and he said that "you mormons are confused" and it has been bugging me ever since...

Does anyone have any advice at how I would approach this? I don't want to lose a friend, and I sure would like him to change his stance for my church.

[JudoMinja]

First, remember that it is not YOU who can change his stance on the church. It is the power of the Holy Ghost. So, if you want him to share your views, you must live in such a way that the Spirit will be there and rely on the Spirit when speaking and interacting with him. Perhaps the information he has seen so far seems odd and strange to him. Perhaps, you have even acted in a way that causes him to think we are a confused people.

Don't approach this as an attempt to convert him. Approach it as an opportunity to share your testimony and faith with him. As you live righteously and are accepting of his views, he may very well be persuaded to be more open minded.

[Cassiopeia]

I always had this friend of mine who seemed like he needed the Book of Mormon in his life, he's a non denominational Christian and he claims he is open to any religion that is true, and this disheartened me a little bit because he has never really been willing to even talk to me about what we as mormons believe, I know for a fact he has nothing but a knowledge of the basics such as joseph smith.

I had a talk to him tonight and he said that "you mormons are confused" and it has been bugging me ever since...

Does anyone have any advice at how I would approach this? I don't want to lose a friend, and I sure would like him to change his stance for my church.

If you are wiling to suspend your certainty that the church is true long enough to hear his point of view (this doesn't mean you stop believing in the church or agree with him but rather you are taking the stance that you are willing to explore his ideas and thoughts) he might be willing then to listen to you.

Begin by asking him what he meant by "you mormons are confused" and be prepared to not be defensive about anything he might have to say. Open and honest dialogue means everyone's thoughts are respected, again, not necessarily in agreement but respected.

I see so many Latter-day Saints alienating others because they are defensive missionaries. The gospel needs no defending but rather someone who shows by example that they are genuinely followers of Christ.

[Maya]

Looks like he has heard some weird things about us, and believe me there are a lot going around... you can ask him ; does he REALLY ... as a friend you have known for so many years, as a friend who probably know you pretty well... believe that what your belief is weird? Does he really know YOU believe what he has heard about LDS? Tell him that you dont know, or are not interested to know, what he has heard, but that he should think, that if he thinks you really are weard too? Dont some of those accusitions thrown about us strike him as odd, since he has known you so long? Just bear a short testimone... maybe makes him think.

I dont know how strong you are, but I can assure you, what we are accused of is mostly well thought misunderstndings to make us seem weird adn terrible. If you have any questions you are welcome to ask on forum or in PM.

To some even it is weird that we meet every Sunday in Church instead of going on beach or something... enjoyment

[WmLee]

You should be the best example the Mormon's are not confused. We should live our life so as to always show what you believe in our hearts to be true. We would be living testimonies of our Savior. If you have a true friend, you should be an example that Mormon's are not confused.

[FunkyTown]

My friend, you have stumbled upon a real difficulty.

My friends reacted the exact same way, only a bit more rude. I was polite. I was kind. I was understanding.

Now they think every Mormon but me is crazy.

[Blackmarch]

I always had this friend of mine who seemed like he needed the Book of Mormon in his life, he's a non denominational Christian and he claims he is open to any religion that is true, and this disheartened me a little bit because he has never really been willing to even talk to me about what we as mormons believe, I know for a fact he has nothing but a knowledge of the basics such as joseph smith.

I had a talk to him tonight and he said that "you mormons are confused" and it has been bugging me ever since...

Does anyone have any advice at how I would approach this? I don't want to lose a friend, and I sure would like him to change his stance for my church.

personally i'd come back to him with a BoM and tell him to read it and then ask if we are confused.

Altho that might not be the best way.. Maybe ask why he thinks were confused.

[Cassiopeia]

personally i'd come back to him with a BoM and tell him to read it and then ask if we are confused.

Altho that might not be the best way.. Maybe ask why he thinks were confused.

When we want someone to tell us why they said something, asking them to explain in what way they find us confused, is the place to start.

But it can't go like this:

LDS: What do you mean we are confused? We are not confused, that's ridiculous.

Non-LDS: I'm just saying some of the things you say and believe are confusing.

LDS: No they aren't. You just don't get it. Go read the BoM and then come talk to me, until then you don't know what you are talking about.

Rather it should go like this:

LDS: I'm not sure what you mean by confused. Would you mind telling me so I can better understand?

[NeuroTypical]

I know for a fact he has nothing but a knowledge of the basics such as joseph smith.

I'd be willing to bet that actually, he has heard a hodge-podge of goofy dumb false stuff about our religion. You'd be surprised what people think we believe and do. One lady's church group showed everyone Napoleon Dynamite as a way to learn about Mormons, for pete's sake.

I had a talk to him tonight and he said that "you mormons are confused" and it has been bugging me ever since...

So ask him why.

In the 10+ years I've been interacting with critics of my faith, there is one response I've used over and over again. Probably around half of the criticisms I've heard, get answered this way:

"I've been an active member of this church for 32 years. That means I've been to church over 1500 times in 6 different towns in 2 different states. I have never, in any meeting, in any sacrament meeting, at any fireside, in any home teaching message, at any general conference, in any sunday school lesson, in any hallway conversation - in none of these places have I EVER heard anyone even MENTION what you just said. It seems odd - you say Mormons believe this and we teach it - you think I would have heard about it somewhere along the line."

So, when they come up with how we worship Joseph Smith, or how we have horns, or how we are taught to shun people who leave the church, or how we get naked and do naughty things in the temple, this is really the only response to give. [And yes, I've been told every single one of these.]

Now, if he says some stuff that you actually do believe, but he puts it in a way that makes it seem weird, there's room for you to grow and learn. But I'm thinking he's just been listening to people, who have listened to people, who gave a really stupid opinion about what mormons believe.

LM