Callings - should I or shouldn't I?

[Tamiele]

I converted 10 years ago to this church. I can't say I hit the ground running but I haven't regretted my decision to join but just not feeling like being THAT involved. I currently have a small calling. Everyone wants me to be in that calling, no matter what. Okay. I just wonder if it is okay to not want one??? Here is my problem. And, my problems are neither bigger or smaller than anyone else, but how I feel and react to them is what makes us different. I have a special needs son who has been a worry for 7 years now. I have had to take up homeschooling and now therapies to help him. I also homeschool my daughter because she wanted it. Having my son, inparticular, I really feel my entire world, focus, attention, whatever, revolves around him and then my daughters as well. This is my lot in life and I must deal with it. What I don't want is extra hobbies/tasks/clubs to take up my free time with. I don't feel there is enough of me, and I am speaking emotionally here, to go around. I am spent. I don't desire to belong to those kinds of things either, I just want to be in this moment 100%, and I feel He is understanding of that. Having a calling for me is like having that extra duty that people seek after to keep busy. While there are spiritual blessings promised by having one, I am just wanting to wave the white flag and say - not right now, not at this stage of the game. Is it possible to fade to the background? Can I just attend church and participate on my own terms?? We attend full-time and our kids are in Primary. I wouldn't have it any other way - I absolutely could not do this without Him and His help. I just don't want to do any of the rest of it right now. Any comments would be wonderful. Thank you!!

[marts1]

Did you talk to your Bishop about this?

[hordak]

27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.

[Canuck Mormon]

My wife has been going through a lot of the same issues. She is a teacher at a school with kids that can have high needs, plus she feels like an outcast in the ward because we do not have any children (I have one from a previous marriage, but he's not always with us) and the ward if full of kids. We were recently called to be in the Nursery and things were good for the first couple of weeks. Then it all hit. She was burnt out. The kids at school were driving her crazy, her teaching assistant that is supposed to be there for one of the kids with special needs starts to overstep her duties, then the kids in Nursery are a handful as they are the newest ones and cry when their parents leave. She met with the Bishop this past week and asked to be released. He didn't technically release her, but got permission to take a break. She is also meeting with him every week until some of her issues with the ward are worked through.

I always try and remember that the Lord will not give us anything that we cannot handle.

Good luck to you and your family.

[Bini]

To OP. Quite some time ago, I was called into Primary and it was terrible timing for numerous reasons, mainly due to my mental health status. The Bishop seemed to be a nice man but just didn't understand where I was coming from and he became extremely pushy about it to the point where I started feeling guilty if I said "no". Anyway, I was doing my own personal praying at the time and I still strongly felt that this opportunity was not in my best interest. So I declined. You know yourself better than anyone else, except for the Lord, and I think that sometimes while the Bishop feels "inspired" to give someone a calling, it may not be a direct instruction from the Lord.

[Carl62]

To OP. Quite some time ago, I was called into Primary and it was terrible timing for numerous reasons, mainly due to my mental health status. The Bishop seemed to be a nice man but just didn't understand where I was coming from and he became extremely pushy about it to the point where I started feeling guilty if I said "no". Anyway, I was doing my own personal praying at the time and I still strongly felt that this opportunity was not in my best interest. So I declined. You know yourself better than anyone else, except for the Lord, and I think that sometimes while the Bishop feels "inspired" to give someone a calling, it may not be a direct instruction from the Lord.

You say that sometimes when a Bishop gives a calling to someone, that it may not be direct instruction from the Lord. So what does constitute direct instruction from the Lord to a Bishop, if not a calling?

[Wingnut]

You say that sometimes when a Bishop gives a calling to someone, that it may not be direct instruction from the Lord. So what does constitute direct instruction from the Lord to a Bishop, if not a calling?

Often, a bishop issues a calling on the recommendation of an auxiliary president. For example, I am the Young Women President in my ward, and I've recently had a Camp Director called. As I thought of sisters in the ward who might be able to do the calling, it was not a spiritual thing as I chose a few names. It was a logistical thing. I gave the names to my bishopric counselor, explained the logistical situation, and he passed it on to the bishop. One of the sisters was called. Often, a calling is issued from the bishopric when they don't have any strong objections or "bad" feelings about a person/name submitted for a calling. Not every calling is a revelatory experience every time.

[Danite]

There are times in my live that callings have come to me , that because of my work schedule or a job change I was unable to fill the calling the way that it needed to be. I made the bishop aware of this and was released, If this calling taking away from your callings of a Wife and a mother( and they are callings) I would level with my bishop about this. And please remember the family is the smallest unit of the church. Surely your kids are equally to a Sunday school lesson, family service is always church service. I hope this helps

[Tamiele]

Thank you soo much for the replies. Yes I have discussed with my Bishop and he would release me but I had to think it over more first. I just can't identify anyone around me who functions at my level. Not sure if that makes sense. I see everyone either inactive or totally there giving their all to the church. I don't see someone like myself who is trying to crawl (10 years later, still crawling). I just see me and then everyone else it seems. I wanted to post this here to get some feedback. I would love to hear if any of you felt resentful when I suggested this?? Do people like me burden others too much?? I just hate doing that to people - but then again not everyone else has a special needs child and are homeschooling. I don't know how many times someone has said to me that they couldn't do what I do. I appreciate that - but does that resinate enough with other ward members to allow me to sort of plateau (in my church involvement, not my spirituality) for the forseeable future?

Thanks again for your comments.

[marts1]

Your up on a pedistal in my eyes.

[MarginOfError]

You say that sometimes when a Bishop gives a calling to someone, that it may not be direct instruction from the Lord. So what does constitute direct instruction from the Lord to a Bishop, if not a calling?

I hate to burst your bubble, but....

I've been a clerk with my bishop for about 18 months now. Probably 90% of the callings that have been issued in that time have not been "inspired" callings. The bishopric seeks confirmation for [almost] every calling before issuing it, but very few callings have been issued because it was felt that the Lord was specifically directing that a specific person receive a specific calling.

I suppose you could make the argument that the Lord has entrusted the bishop to manage the affairs of the ward, and so any calling, whether inspired or not, is direct instruction from the Lord, but I would argue against that position saying that it's actually indirect instruction.

It's important to know that bishops make mistakes when issuing callings. They work with the best information they have, and sometimes that's all they can do. There have been a small handful of cases I've seen where a calling was issued, and it was accepted out of a sense of obligation. Several weeks later when the member feels their life coming completely unglued, they speak to the bishop and share all the personal difficulties they are having keeping up. Each time this has happened, I've heard the bishop say, "I wish they would have said something when we extended the call. We would have another calling for them."

[Just_A_Guy]

I think it would be correct to say that a calling may or may not be inspired, but it is still authoritative until it is modified.

[MarginOfError]

I think it would be correct to say that a calling may or may not be inspired, but it is still authoritative until it is modified.

Very well said! Bravo!