Chastity and Church Discipline

[klt9976]

I am curious about what constitutes getting sent into a church disciplinary council. I have recently let things go too far with the person I was dating. (Both of us had hands everywhere). We are both endowed.

So my two main questions are:

1 - While I know its a case by case situation, what can I expect from going to talk to the bishop? I recognize that since I am endowed I am more accountable and as such will be held to a higher standard. Will I be sent to a disciplinary council? Will I be disfellowshiped?

2 - The person I was dating is not in my ward, but my bishop knows them. Not that it matters, but do bishops contact another person's bishop in cases of joint transgression or is that beyond their jurisdiction? (I just would like to be able to give the person a heads up that they might be hearing from their bishop)

[bytor2112]

1 - While I know its a case by case situation, what can I expect from going to talk to the bishop? I recognize that since I am endowed I am more accountable and as such will be held to a higher standard. Will I be sent to a disciplinary council? Will I be disfellowshiped?

What can you expect? Relief from the feelings of guilt and the Witness of the Holy Spirit letting you know that it will be okay and that you are doing the right thing.

Whatever happens will be what is best for YOU. Highly doubtful that you would end up at a Disciplinary Court for heavy petting. It really depends on you...do you have a broken heart?....a contrite spirit? Was this a one time slip up or a pattern of behavior?

Best way to find out is to go see your Bishop and trust in the Lord. You will feel better....don't worry.

[Palerider]

Perhaps if you see your Bishop you might get a clear conscience...and the chance to remove the guilt you are feeling right now...those are 2 things you could expect....:)

[Guest Alana]

I went to my bishop for chastity issues and it was a very long time before I actually had a disciplinary council. I was actually on my third bishop by that point lol. To me this means that it is a very individual thing. I didn't get the disciplinary council until I'd already progressed a lot and was at a wall, it was the perfect time for me and it actually was key in completely repenting. So, what will go down with you? No idea, but don't' be fearful, it's such a relief and the disciplinary council itself was WONDERFUL... ignore the disciplinary word.

[Torn]

Just having gone through my own "confession" with my bishop, he did in fact ask the name of the person I was involved with and did tell me that his bishop would be called. I had NO idea they did this. I did give the person I was involved with a heads up as well, which gave him the opportunity to come forward on his own and my bishop told me today, after I told him I had forewarned the other guy, that it was a noble thing to do, as coming forward on your own is way better than being caught and being forced into a confession. KWIM? But each bishop could be different, I dont' know.

[Palerider]

Just having gone through my own "confession" with my bishop, he did in fact ask the name of the person I was involved with and did tell me that his bishop would be called. I had NO idea they did this. I did give the person I was involved with a heads up as well, which gave him the opportunity to come forward on his own and my bishop told me today, after I told him I had forewarned the other guy, that it was a noble thing to do, as coming forward on your own is way better than being caught and being forced into a confession. KWIM? But each bishop could be different, I dont' know.

I can't speak for all Bishops, but, if there is another person involved the Bishop should call the Bishop of the other person to make him aware of the situation.

You can't force anyone to confess. You ask questions and see what happens.

[Aussie]

as an umarried sister it is not likely you will be ex'd. probably disfellowshipped, certainly on probation

his ranking is, aaron, melchizedek, mission, endowed, married, pretty well in that order

we had a RM when i was on high council, got jiggy too often, we settled on disfellowship

its not so much about what you did, more about where you ware trying to go

true, there will be consequences. more for him than you. i wont say sisters get off lightly, but i will say sisters usually only go as far as the bishops office

he's endowed suggesting hes been on a mission. his will possibly go to high council

how are you gonna ensure this doesnt happen again tho? how does a person_not_have sex once they have??? (rhetorical)

[Blackmarch]

I am curious about what constitutes getting sent into a church disciplinary council. I have recently let things go too far with the person I was dating. (Both of us had hands everywhere). We are both endowed.

So my two main questions are:

1 - While I know its a case by case situation, what can I expect from going to talk to the bishop? I recognize that since I am endowed I am more accountable and as such will be held to a higher standard. Will I be sent to a disciplinary council? Will I be disfellowshiped?

2 - The person I was dating is not in my ward, but my bishop knows them. Not that it matters, but do bishops contact another person's bishop in cases of joint transgression or is that beyond their jurisdiction? (I just would like to be able to give the person a heads up that they might be hearing from their bishop)

I think the biggest factor barring certain actions, is how willing a person is to repent.

[FunkyTown]

how are you gonna ensure this doesnt happen again tho? how does a person_not_have sex once they have??? (rhetorical)

She never had sex. She said she was involved in heavy petting.

Excuse my crudeness, but I don't know any other way to describe this. If it was something silly like grinding with clothes on, then probably nothing will happen. If it did, roughly half the 16-17 year olds would be disfellowshipped. If clothes came off, it gets progressively worse.

[marts1]

I went to the Bishop after some heay duty petting and told him I got myself into some trouble with my wife to be. He got a very concerned look on his face. When I told him what happened he smiled and said be more carefull bye bye.

[Aussie]

learn to control yourself until you are married, then learn to control yourself all over again

apol- i misread the original post.

i assumed it was intercourse- else why would it have been posted

if unsure, go see your bishop

sounds pretty clear what happened.

i can't make the determination for you, other than to say stop, control, repent. you have to figure out whatg repent means in this instance

non intercourse- will be going no further than bishops office for both of you.

without knowing any of the detail i wouldnt expect more than 2-3 months in the sin bin- so to speak

[question2]

Go to the Bishop. Confess and ask that he follow up with you...both. Being left on your own when you are already weak makes it easy to get in more trouble than you already are. Ask him to follow up frequently with you.