I need help!!! PLEASE I as a teen am stuck and can NOT live like THIS!

[Imprisoned]

(**Mom and Dad are snoops, and regularly review internet history of all our children. Dad has added a few comments to correct what he sees as misinformation

Moderator: if it is against forum rules for parents to hijack their kids posts, then please delete this post. **)

I really NEED ADVICE!!!

I apologize if I offend any of you. I am not cursing or anything just lot of CAPS and this may make you feel uneasy because this is probably unusual. But I REALLY need your help!!!! I am not being emo or over-emotional I am SERIOUS!

(**Dad: sorry my son felt like he had to air his dirty laundry publicly, at least it is anonymous. For some context, he was grounded from facebook for a day and was probably pretty upset when he wrote this. The reason for the grounding is because he tried to circumvent our parental Internet security controls. **)

If you are happy being mormon, please do not be judgmental and hate me or be hostile or accuse me of being a sinner because i'm not! just help me out! I do not want to shake your "Testimonies." I do not think this will, I am not trying to. But I really REALLY need help!!!!!!!

Here is a short intro; I am sorry that I am posting it here, but I want you to know about me when you read this message so it will make more sense:

Probably like many of you I was born into the covenant in the Mormon Church.

I am only going to say this once: I am not perfect and I could have made a huge mistake as you will discover in my message and yadda yadda yadda, please do not judge me. I could be wrong but I do not think I am wrong and I will stand up for what I believe in.

But I feel I am just fine and I am doing what is right for trying to stand up for what i believe in. I feel I am doing what is morally right. My religious views probably differ from everyone here, obviously this is a mormon board. I am mormon too, but well.... keep reading and you'll find out.

My whole family is Mormon, excluding my Father, who is an agnostic who is no longer mormon. He has been called a "Closet Exmormon" for not avoiding the church and not taking me out of the church. As I said earlier I am a teenager. My mother is a VERY VERY strong church member and very controlling.

(**Dad: I have never heard the term "closet exmormon" before. That's a new one for me. I can understand why someone would want to label me that way, but I feel it is an inaccurate description. I go on scout outings often with my boys. I don't run around proclaiming "I'm not LDS!" I just tell the leaders that need to know, and anyone else that asks.

I don't think his mother is "very controlling" at all. **)

She forces me to attend church, mutual, to keep the church's standards, fake being a mormon, fake believing to be a good example, making me do seminary, accomplish and do everything that a normal mormon teenager would do.

(** Dad: Both Mom and Dad both feel strongly that our kids should socialize with good people. We are in a highly LDS populated area. I felt that kicking my son off the computer once a week to go to mutual would be good for him socially because he is very shy **).

And if I DONT, I AM GROUNDED [sorry caps] or extremely in trouble and get almost everything taken away.

(** Dad: He has never put up much of a fight about going to mutual before. He did say once to my wife: "Can't you just ground me so I don't have to go". She then replied something like: "I would like you to go please." and they he went with out a "scene"

To date, he has NEVER been grounded for not going to mutual, nor has his parents ever had to threaten him with being grounded over mutual. **)

Sounds like a good mother right? Well... the only problem is not only do I EXTREMELY not want to be there, I DO NOT BELIEVE!! [sorry caps]

(** Dad: He has a timid personality. I know he doesn't like going to mutual, but he doesn't put up much resistance. He's really a well behaved son mostly does what he is asked. I told him he is welcome to find an alternative weekly social activity that involves real people (not cyber chatting). So far he has presented no proposals. **)

I am forced to fake being a mormon and I hate living a lie and this is not who I really am.

(** Dad: I can relate to this. It has been difficult for my wife and I do decide the best course. Currently our consensus is that when he is an adult, he is free to decide what to believe. My argument to him is: "How do you know you aren't LDS? you haven't finished learning what they believe **).

I'd prefer not to say why I left because as I said before I do not want to shake testimonies of any mormons happy in mormonism.

(** Dad: I'm glad he listened to my advice. I've told him that attacking someone's beliefs can be very hurtful and to always be civil and respectful to other's believe. Good job son **)

I am a teenager and am stuck, imprisoned in your church [hence the username] until I am out of the house, my mom has even said to me I can't stop attending/being mormon as long as I live here.

(** Dad: again, young padawan, once you have completed your training, you may choose to believe how you wish **)

But I dislike mormonism a lot [i am sorry but i do, I would prefer not to mention why because i do not want to shake anyone's testimony. Message me if you want to know why I feel mormonism is not true and why I hate it or things I have done against it]

I still believe in being a good person like im cool with the church standards, just am not believing in mormonism anymore and want to meet people other than judgmental stuck-up mormon kids my age [which I'm not saying you are or any of your children, but they are here at least] I am tired of being hated for being different by mormon kids in my area and I hate it that non-mormons hate me for being mormon, when im not liked by either side!! I do not cuss or anything, i just am a different person, i can get along with nonmormons pretty well, but if they find out im mormon they treat me like im a freak! But I have to pretend to be mormon or the mormons I have to hang out with all the time like in church and seminary and mutual and etc. [24/7ish] will hate me if I am not a good mormon!

Like Recently I was asked to bless the food I just said "Someone else say it please" and I got grounded and my brother told my mormon friend about it and he was really mad at me and in my face for it, I told him I did not believe and he hates me now and well now every mormon hates me if I do not believe or do everything I am supposed to do as a mormon because if I don't i am "of the devil" or "evil" [and I actually have been called this by some mormons :\]

(**Dad: Unfortunately, the above is not true. He was not grounded for not blessing the food. After politely declining, my wife nicely asked his sister to pray instead and that was the end of it. There was no recrimination at all, not even a dirty look. **).

So the mormons already treat me like a freak so I'd rather not be mormon and be with people who accept me!!!

(**Dad: I believe this is an exaggeration. The boys in mutual are actually very nice. There is no "freak" treatment that I have ever observed. **)

But I am stuck, I have talked to my Dad who is agnostic and nonbelieving inactive mormon as i said earlier, but he will not stop me from being in mormonism, he just said your mom will get violent and it will make her happy if you deal with it and I promised her we would raise you in Mormonism and he said that there are no good people outside of mormonism.

(**Dad: whoa the above sentence is so inaccurate either he sorely misunderstood our talk, or is again exaggerating (as teens often do). He gets his timidness from my wife. I unfortunately I did tell him once that his mother is "violently" opposed to him dropping out of seminary. I should have said vehemently, it was a poor choice of words. I was trying to descriptively tell him that "mom just won't go for that right now."

My wife is very kind and soft-hearted, she rarely even gets angry. I know she was very hurt to read this fictitious depiction of her.

I did tell him that I agreed with his mother that the kids would be raised in the church, that part is true. Agnostics like me don't have much else to offer.

"No good people outside of mormonism" what!? I just told him that as a generalization, LDS folks are good people and especially good neighbors. I don't know why he thinks I said the opposite. **)

I think its that he just doesn't want to be divorced because my mom threatened him with divorce when he admitted that he did not believe and went inactive.

(** Dad: more exaggeration: My wife and I have a very happy marriage. We love each other and our kids and maybe spoil them too much. There is no divorce threat. **)

My mom is being very controlling and I really need advice...

(** Dad: he says controlling mother, I say loving and concerned mother **)

Please reply or message me... I really do not want to live a lie and be forced to be a mormon.

I told my seminary about this situation and it amazed me because he just laughed at me!! and told me I was wrong and made fun of me for my beliefs!! [i am a Humanitarian :) which means i am not theist and do not believe in a deity]

(**Dad: I doubt this even happened. He has made up stories like this before. We will still investigate. I have noticed that he likes to be dramatic sometimes. **)

Please help me, is there anyway I can get out of Mormonism!? My parents will not let me resign obviously, I am serious about this!!! I will do something to get excommunicated and thoughts of ending my life keep coming. I SERIOUSLY would go through that then live like this!!!

(** Dad: his life is not a hard one. We do alright financially. He has his own Gameboy, DS-lite, Xbox360, his own high-end computer, and packed a 6 foot tall book shelves full of every computer game he can think of. He loves his electric guitar he got for his birthday. He shares a Wii and PS2 with his other siblings. I play Dungeons and Dragons with him every month along with him brother and friends and he loves it, and we have fun together. I spend individual time with him too. When I think he needs attention, I'll take him out to lunch, or to the movies, and then talk afterwards. In fact, he and I hung out 2 days ago for 3 hours, he seemed happy and enjoyed himself.

Unfortunately this is not the first time he posted online that he wants to kill himself. We take this very seriously and I have offered in the past to take him to a psychiatrist. When confronted, he has said that he was just saying it to get a reaction. He was very insistent that he did not want to commit suicide. He was very clear that he does not want to see a psychiatrist. As I said before he can be very dramatic when he posts anonymously. **)

I'd resign but my parents won't me and I am underage and I am forced to be a mormon and it'd ruin my social life because almost everyone here is mormon like literally not all mormon, but close.

(** Dad: I need to have him watch Braveheart with me. No one can force you to be what you don't want to be son.

We will definitely be talking about this tomorrow with you **).

What do I do? Advice? Please

(** Dad's Advice: Try to focus at the positive things in life instead of the negative. If you don't believe, then try to look at it academically so you can have a understanding of what you don't want to believe. If you still just can't do it, then we'll talk and negotiate some other strategy of life to give you the best chance of becoming the great man that you are destined to be. We love you very much, and sorry if you are embarrassed about the post hijack (your parents are a little embarrassed also). You already know we review all your online activity, so perhaps this post was really for us? **)

Edited April 23, 2010 by Imprisoned
dad is a snoop

[FairChild]

It sounds as if you are more wanting to get away from the pressures your mother is putting on you than possibly the church itself. All I can say is you need to find a secret place of your own and create some down time.

[Bini]

If you're having thoughts of ending your life, you need special help that cannot be given here. If you cannot approach your mother, consider seeking another trusting adult that you can confide in, maybe a school counselor. Ending your life is not the solution to your problem. Best wishes.

[Guest]

Greetings, Imprisoned, I feel so sorry! I hope you feel better very soon!

Okay, I'm a mother, so I can completely understand your mother even if I don't agree with the way she's doing things. I have a different philosophy. I teach my kids what I know to be true then they will have to figure it out for themselves if it is really true. If they find for themselves it is not, then, that's all I can do and I hope they find their way to God.

From what you are saying, this is not how your mother is running her household. Unfortunately, there's such a thing as under-age and you are bound by that.

I have to tell you though, you need some self-esteem boosting. It seems like your happiness is dependent on how other people perceive you to be. This is very damaging. This is not something you can blame your mom for though. This is something YOU have to work out for yourself. WHO YOU ARE is not what your friends want you to be. Who you are is what you want to be. It shouldn't matter if you are Mormon or not. You need to define yourself as how you believe - if that's humanitarian, then that's who you are.

So when you go to the Mormon church and see your Mormon friends, you know all those kids are Mormon and you know how THEY believe. It is pretty easy to predict what they're going to say and do. Does it really matter to you? If they call you the son of predition, do you think that makes you one? Of course not. Smile, be a humanitarian and LOVE THEM. Because that's WHO YOU ARE.

Then you go to your non-Mormon friends - why hide that you go to the Mormon church? You don't have to. If they are really your friends it wouldn't matter if you go to the Mormon church or not - if it matters, then they're not really your friends now, are they? THEY DO NOT DEFINE YOU either. But, your advantage is, you know who they are. You know how they're going to act and what they're going to say. Be a humanitarian and LOVE THEM. Because that's WHO YOU ARE.

Now, about your mother. This is the tough one. You can't choose your mother. You are stuck with her. But, your advantage is - you also know who she is! You know she's controlling, you know she's a die-hard Mormon, you know she'll go ballistic on certain things. So, why fight it? You are a humanitarian, you LOVE HER too! Because that's WHO YOU ARE.

Remember, happiness comes from your acceptance of who you are. Not everyone else's perception of who you are. Because, in all honesty, you are the only one who knows what's going through your heart and brain. It is too much to expect everybody else to understand your uniqueness, especially in their own tiny world. They are not perfect people. BUT YOU CAN BE!

Hold your chin up and LIVE YOUR LIFE. You only got one shot at it. Killing yourself is not a guarantee that it will get better! It could possibly be very much worse. We never know. What we do know is death is final. You can't go, oops, I shouldn't have done that.

Good luck!

Edited April 23, 2010 by anatess

[pam]

Now, about your mother. This is the tough one. You can't choose your mother. You are stuck with her. But, your advantage is - you also know who she is! You know she's controlling, you know she's a die-hard Mormon, you know she'll go ballistic on certain things. So, why fight it? You are a humanitarian, you LOVE HER too! Because that's WHO YOU ARE.

Of course the description of the mother comes from the son who is frustrated. Not really an unbiased description. So let's be fair to the mother.

[Guest]

Hi Pam, how are you doing this fine day?

Of course the description of the mother comes from the son who is frustrated. Not really an unbiased description. So let's be fair to the mother.

I know, Pam. But I'm going with what HE knows his mother to be. Not what we think she is or what she truly is. That, for now, is irrelevant. I'm trying to explain to Imprisoned that whoever her mother is, he can't change her but he can accept who she is and Love Her regardless. It is what a humanitarian is which is what he says he is.

Edited April 23, 2010 by anatess

[Imprisoned]

I dont know if my mom pressuring me is the right way to put it, I think controlling is the right word, and yes a Die-Hard mormon is the right way to describe her.

I do not mean to sound mean but I could not care less about what she thinks of me and she doesn't pressure me to do anything. I just do not want to get in extreme trouble that she will bring down upon me and I do not want her to get violent. If she didn't do that, i'd not seek to destroy the church or hate the church as much as I do now. I do not agree with it and feel it takes up my social life and time for my hobbies and my time [i am very selfish I know] which makes me even madder at it since I do not agree and it takes up my time and I am judged for it.

(** Dad: I disagree son, facebook is fun but it is not an adequate social life by itself. **).

And I would be hated by everyone around me for being who I am, or liked for being a big fat liar and I want to be who I am. But I feel like no one will like me if I am who I am, and I will harassed by mormons for being who I am, I am okay if someone hates me but I do not want everyone to hate me and harass me, I want friends but I dont really have much of those and most of them are mormon and would hate me and ruin my social life because my friend who thot i was Korihor went around spreading rumors about me that were untrue and he got like the only nonmormon girl i liked that liked me back that i used to hang out with, to be scared of me and she left me and won't talk to me anymore! -.- She believed every thing he said :\

(** Dad: Hated and ruined are strong words. I worried about this myself many years ago, but I was pleasantly surprised at how accepting most LDS people were and I think you would be surprised too. As long as you are respectful. **)

but strangely I told him i believe, rumors stopped and he is my friend again.

(** I don't believe this is true, there was no rumor-mongering going on that we saw, and we are very involved. You know we monitor all your electronic communication, we told you this before we let you use the Internet. **)

But mostly I'm scared that someone like him will go around and make people think I'm a freak or someone I'm not. So I feel I am sort've intimidated to stay in line as a pretend believing mormon from my Mom or my brother and from Mormon friends of mine who will say bad untrue things about me that like everyone believes.

I guess the point is I am being forced to attend and pretend to be a mormon [someone that I am not] and I am tired of dealing with it and I have already done things the church would frown upon and I feel without a doubt that it is not true and I really want to get out.

I am actually an extremely angry person who would address my hatred and confess all the things I have done against our standards and obligations/duties with no regret but joy, but I do not want to offend anyone here and do not want everyone to think of me as a very bad person. I blame the church because I extremely dislike it already with all the stuck-up kids who think they're always right and are so snobbish and circular logically programmed, my friend I admitted this to even told me that I am Korihor and accused me of being of the Devil and being evil and he thought I'd burn down a church just because I told him I am a rational atheist humanitarian. [He was the friend who made the girl not like me anymore]

And then there's leaders who literally get physical on us and force us around and threaten us to make us do what they say in an organization of religion that I just don't believe in and extremely hate, but am imprisoned inside. I have no interest in staying mormon whatsoever, other than to harass and do bad things to the church on the inside or for selfish personal gain, which I want to resign so I will not be tempted to do such things to the church because that is not healthy for me to want to destroy an organization of good people like mormons, even if I can't stand some of them and I need to develop morales, but I can't in the church because I do not agree or believe in just about literally everything they say.

(** Dad: Sorry, you have lied about this before. Your brother is there with you in mutual and no leader has ever gotten "physical" with you. They are good men, and you shouldn't lie about things like this just for dramatic effect. Being anonymous is not an excuse to bend the truth **)

Unfortunately I am a very good liar [i know how to hide body language that shows signs of lying and I think fast, also have no morales and do not feel bad about it] and I can easily make people believe I take back things I say, the friend of mine [who accused me of being Korihor and got that girl to stop liking me], believes me that I believe in mormonism now, which was a big fat lie :\ but now he is mad at me because I said something offensive about mormons to my Dad, that my bro overheard told my friend what i said and twisted it and my friend believed my bro! What a friend! He trusts my brother more because my brother is a mormon

And as a Humanitarian I meant I believe mankind can achieve just about anything and we are blessed and dominant and that I do not believe in God or any deity/greater power whatsoever and I do not believe that the spirit can tell truth. I think the spirit is just an emotion and I believe emotions do not convey truth and can be deceiving. But thats just me.

I know killing myself won't fix things, but it seems like that's the only way to get out of mormonism :\ But to me killing myself is extremely stupid because I do not believe in an afterlife, but i'm just desperate to get out.

Thank you for your posts, but can I do anything in this situation?

Edited April 23, 2010 by Imprisoned
edited by dad

[john doe]

I'd prefer not to say why I left because as I said before I do not want to shake testimonies of any mormons happy in mormonism.

Thanks for the chuckle, I needed that.

[FairChild]

Sounds as if you are going through a great many struggles. I was married once to a man that forbid me to have anything to do with the church. It even got to the point where I was physically abused over it. One of the things that I could and did do was find what I could like and gain from the situation (forced to go to his church) and studied that and used that to my best advantage. Are you in scouting? Do you enjoy that? Like history? Learn that. Cooking and suvival? Learn that. Travel and what is going on in the world? Learn that. The list is long and I am not going on, but it seriously sounds that you need a councelor to work through some of the issues that you have with your mom. I am concerned that you say that you are a great liar and have no regrets about some of your behaviors. You sound as if you are acting out against the church. I think you are acting out against your mom. You are not a freak, but struggling. We all struggle.

[HoosierGuy]

One thing I notice about you Imprisoned is that you don't sound like you have low self- esteem or are depressed. You sound like a fighter and that's good and admirable. You know your mom more than us, but could there be another reason why she is forcing you to go to church? Perhaps with your dad out of the church she fears if you leave she might also crumble and leave. I'm wondering if there is some horrifying fear deep in her soul of loosing you so that is why she pushes you to church so hard.

I remember being your age and feeling like bad situations would last forever and would never end. That was wrong tho, bad situations do end, they don't last forever. You're mom will not force you to church forever. Have you spoken to the Bishop? Open up to him and tell him everything.

[Wingnut]

I have three thoughts.

(1) Whatever your personal reasons are that you're not sharing with us are probably nothing that anyone here hasn't heard before.

(2) While you live under you mother's roof, you obey her rules. Either wait until your 18th birthday or apply for emancipation.

(3) You may not be emo, but you're whiny and dramatic.

[Guest Godless]

I was in your situation to some degree when I was a teen. I actually didn't lose complete interest in the church until after high school, but I started neglecting church standards and "acting out" as early as 15. It got me into a lot of trouble with my parents and caused me a great deal of misery, but I got through it. As a minor, there's not much else you can do but just deal. Now, I have my own opinions regarding religious indoctrination, but I'll keep that to myself for now.

As an apostate, I know how hard it is to break away from "Mormon culture". The best advice I can give you is to try to keep your dealings with LDS friends as courteous as possible. You don't need to lose friends over this. They may have a hard time accepting your decision, but if you address their concerns in a respectful and mature manner, then chances are good that they'll come around. The same is true of your teachers in church. The best approach is not to fight it, but to use dialogue instead. Otherwise you just come off as an angsty rebellious teen like I was.

[JudoMinja]

Based strictly off the point of view you have presented, so some of my advice may be off here-

It sounds like you are dealing with some people who don't really know what it means to be Mormon. No one should be FORCING anyone to do something against their will. Your "friends" and the other members of your ward should not be strong-arming you into anything. You have agency, exercise it. If you don't want to be in your meetings, sit out.

If you don't believe, you don't believe. No one can MAKE you change your mind. It has to be your choice to gain a testimony, and when people try to force that on someone it only makes them resistant as you clearly have become. Figure out what it is you want to do, what you believe, how YOU feel you should handle these situations. Then DO it. Don't worry about how others will react. It is when you are living in a way that is right with yourself, right in your heart, that you will feel comfortable and happy. Even if others persecute you, you will know you are living the way you feel best. Over time, your conviction will help them realize you are serious. If you keep going back and forth, pretending and being hypocritical, of course they will think you are confused and they are right.

That does not, however, give them an excuse to be judgmental. I had an investigator friend turn away from the church due to a problem with members being judgmental. She was a lesbian and dressed and acted the part- short cut hair, "manly" clothing, etc. We became friends at school, because she recognized me as someone she could talk to and recieve friendly unbiased advice, without feeling judged. She had severe anger issues and distrust of men due to some past experiences- the reason she'd become a lesbian. At one point, she tried to hook up with me, but when I made it clear that I was very much straight, wanted nothing of the sort, but would still be her friend, she didn't pursue it any further.

Because we had such a good friendship, she became curious about the church. We did an exchange. I invited her to come to some of our activities, and she invited me to some of hers. She started coming regularly to our Young Women's meetings and really felt the spirit. However, the Young Women's leader felt she was a bad influence on the other girls and in the interest of protecting them had the bishop pull her aside to talk to her. He told her that if she wanted to keep coming, she needed to change the way she dressed and acted. She stopped coming to church, and refused to ever come back.

This is a BAD example. When members are judgmental it drives people away. When members try to FORCE others to live the standards it drives people away. This is NOT the way Mormons are supposed to act, and it sounds like the people you are around are doing just this.

BUT- you can't do anything about THEM. The only person you can change is yourself. Recognize, that these people are imperfect. They have flaws, just like you. If they are being judgmental, know that this is just one of those flaws and try not to let it get to you. Just be yourself- the you you know is locked inside trying to get out- and don't worry about what they think. Also recognize, that know matter how hard they TRY to force the church on you, they can't. Nothing can be forced. You always have within you the ability to choose for yourself.

Every choice has a consequence. You just have to determine which consequences you would prefer to live with. You can a) put forth the effort to gain a testimony and decide for yourself whether you really believe the church to be true and start being a Mormon because you WANT to (assuming you haven't already attempted this and determined FOR CERTAIN that you don't believe), b) continue being wishy-washy, pretending to believe, and feeling disatisifed with your life because you aren't living right with yourself to avoid the judgment of those around you, or c) stop pretending, make it clear what you believe and that you will be living the way you choose, and you will accept whatever consequences come with that choice.

The biggest area this will affect is your relationship with your mother. Because you are still underage and live under her roof, you will have to put up with whatever she deems appropriate for your decision. If she grounds you, so be it. If she tells you you have to keep coming to church, so be it. Do whatever she says you have to do, but don't fake anything. She can't MAKE you say a prayer. She can't MAKE you believe. She can't MAKE you deny what is in your heart.

You are lacking self-esteem because you are denying you your SELF. BE yourself. Live the way you know to be right in your heart. Follow what you believe. And stand strong in adversity. You will be blessed for it, whether you believe in a deity or not. You do have to humbly accept whatever consequences she dishes on you, but you don't have to keep lying to yourself and everyone around you. If you don't believe, you don't believe. So just be honest about it.

[baver3]

I think you should go see the bishop and see what can be done. How old are you? How much longer before before you can move out?

Everyone must find their own way in life. Of course its not what I would do and obviously not what I believe but everyone must make their own path to happiness.

Whether or not you are right, and you WILL find out when you die...for sure...this is the life and opportunity for you to be tested and live your life and be responsible for your own decisions.

I think if you cannot change your situation whatsoever you need to have a heart to heart with your mom and then maybe bring it down a level on the hatred toward the church. Maybe your mom will try to listen to you. I dont think your dad will be much help. I think you just need to hang in there. You are a minor and you MUST listen to your parents. You will realize how this all works one day when you are a parent and you will want the best for your child. Until then my heart is breaking for you. I really hope you find a solution for this and can find your own happiness, whatever that is.

[Elphaba]

[i am a Humanitarian :) which means i am not theist and do not believe in a deity]

I think you mean a humanist. Humanitarianism has nothing whatsoever to do with whether one is atheist or theist.

So, you edited your post after your dad hacked it, but you left everything he wrote intact? Or did dad write "dad is a snoop"?

Also, why did you come to a LDS board to talk about this? If you're a teenager you should be old enough to know there's nothing anyone here can do, or would be willing to do, to help you leave the Church. You should also know there are lots of anti-Mormon sites that would have more sympthy for you, all fairly easy to find thanks to google.

I think "dad" needs to father up and stop trying to reason with his son via a message board. I felt like I was in Bizzaroland reading all that drama, from both of them.

Elphaba

Edited April 23, 2010 by Elphaba

[Elgama]

I think you and your parents need to learn to communicate (+++this is for Dad as well, there is a great book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk, recommend reading it)

Fact is your a teen part of you is supposed to feel that way, and your parents are supposed to be the way they are from both yourself and Your Dad's words sounds like both sides are doing their best and love each other but you need to meet in the middle. You need to establish ground rules.

Personally I don't require church attendance from my children see no point in being LDS if you have no testimony always smack of Satan trying to force something to me, but if your parents do how about come to a deal? maybe you could step back but still attend no requirement for you to fake a testimony? and maybe Dad could go with you and sit in priesthood and sacrament? if Dad expects you to go when you don't believe maybe he should set the example or help you find something you can do together.

All parents and children are imperfect if you give em a break bet you would get more concessions also if you talk to them like an adult,

[john doe]

Since this has obviously gone to your family, where it should be, then there is no sense in this remaining open. Thread closed.

[rameumptom]

Sounds to me like a teenager with hormone and emotional issues. Every teen thinks their parents are evil incarnate. Most parents, OTOH, are not.

Instead of looking for the bad in everyone and everything, look for the good. I think you'll be surprised that clouds do have silver linings.

As Shakespeare once wrote,

Cassius:

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,

But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)

You are young. You have not truly experienced life. Yet, you, as many teens, feel you know everything. You do not. Neither do we grownups.

To paraphrase Socrates: I know nothing, but I still know more than you.

Listen to your parents. Humble yourself some. While your Dad is agnostic, he is still smart enough to see good in the LDS Church, and wants the good in the Church to help you become a better person, whether you stay LDS or not.

Of course, many will say similar things to this. But for teens, it is usually the case that such will fall on deaf ears. Teens want to hear what they want to hear, not what they need to hear. Listen quickly to your parents, and you will find a much better life ahead of you. Rebel, and it will take years for you to overcome your stupid, hormonal decisions; decisions you will someday regret.