My calling...help

[gjcaebd]

I am one of those people who generally has the rule that when given a calling, you should accept and try to do the best you can. As a result I am presently serving in the nursery for the 12th time. I have served in the nursery in every ward I have ever lived in. Sometimes I think "Nursery leader" must be stamped on my forehead. I love little children. I am an elementary school teacher and have devoted my entire adult life to young children. I have even had a disagreement with my daughter-law about this because she feels that mothers of children in the nursery should never be called to serve there. After all they need a break! I feel like it is the best time to serve in the nursery. I served in the nursery with all of my children. To every thing there is a season. We have a small nursery and the children are sweet and love to come to nursery. I feel I do a great job when I am there, but most Sundays I don't want to go to church. I feel guilty asking to be released because the ward I am in has a very difficult time finding people who will serve in primary. What do you think I should do?

[Iggy]

Let me get this straight-

You want to be released because you don't want to come to Church.

If the only reason you are coming to church is because you are Nursery Leader, thus you do not have a testimony of the Church, you don't come for the Sacrament, or to worship God our Father- - -

Then by all means go to your Bishop and tell him that and get released.

[gjcaebd]

WHen you have walked a day in my shoes, then I feel you have the right to criticize. I have spent most of my adult life in the nursery. Have you? I have a testimony, but honestly feel like it would be nice to do something different. They only call bishops for five years . This is my 22 year in primary.

[Wingnut]

So ask to be released. Obviously you've been in a lot of wards, and your bishop doesn't seem to know that you've spent so long in the nursery. Bishops are not omniscient -- he won't know unless you tell him.

[Dravin]

WHen you have walked a day in my shoes, then I feel you have the right to criticize. I have spent most of my adult life in the nursery. Have you? I have a testimony, but honestly feel like it would be nice to do something different. They only call bishops for five years . This is my 22 year in primary.

I think Iggy read your not wanting to come to church comment as you not wanting to come to church in general but you keep going out of a sense of obligation to your calling and so you want released so you can stay home obligation free. Which explains her seemingly out of left field response. May I correctly parse the comment as that while you otherwise want to go to Church your calling leaves you wanting to stay home to avoid your calling (rather than church in general)?

Edited February 2, 2011 by Dravin

[Suzie]

Call the Bishop and meet, tell him exactly what you are telling us. I am pretty sure he will be understanding.

[Backroads]

My mother was called to the nursery and plain up told the bishop it was not going to work for her and there was why. Try it.

[Nathan6329]

Well even though callings can come from the lord I believe the church counsel sometimes has the obligation to pick who they think is best as well. If you aren't happy there then it is up to you to speak up and let them know, because don't be fooled into thinking the holy ghost is meant to be a mind reader, they can't read people's thoughts through the holy ghost. They sometimes will only know what you tell them.

[ZionWoman]

I know exactly how you feel. I have had so many music callings, I can't even remember them all and, because talent and ego are an inherent part of music, some of these callings have been very painful. I think bishops sometimes look at the person and think "they are well suited to that calling" and the spirit says "yep, they are" and that's how we get these callings. Your talents and abilities often come into it. If you have had enough, don't be shy about speaking up. When I moved into a ward once I had just come from a very bad experience being the choir leader and said straight up "I need a break from leading choir" and they had no problem. You are human. We all get burned out and nursery certainly is a calling that can burn you out! You may want to go to RS and get to know that sisters! There is nothing wrong with how you feel!

[zippy_do46]

I believe that you should talk to your Primary President. Tell her you are feeling burned out. That you love the "little ones", and they need more then you can give right now. Then do not feel guilty. Better that these "little ones" get someone that will be there for them, at this time it sounds like it can not be you.

Nursery leader stamp on your forehead, I had to laugh. You must be a very good Nursery leader. In all my years in the Nursery and as Nursery Leader I believe with all my heart that these "little ones" sense those special people who work with them and teach them. Sometimes, things happen though. We feel that disconnect and we know it is time to be released. I have always know when I was going to be released or due to things happening in my life needed to be released. Two weeks ago I was playing with one of my "little ones" and felt it was time. I wanted to cry. I went to my Primary President and told her it was time. Two weeks later my mother-n-law who has Alzheimer's disease had a very bad night and come Sunday I could not go to Church.

I believe we must listen to the Holy Spirit. Heavenly Father will provide for his "little ones".

[Backroads]

So I asked my mom for more information when she asked not to have the calling...

It was right after my younger brother was born. He was born a year and a half after my twin and me and was, as it is called, an "accident". My mom loved church not only for the spirituality but for the opportunity of being around other adults during Relief Society and Gospel Doctrine. Then came the nursery calling...

She actually prayed about it before approaching the bishop and his counselors. They were very understanding.

[Madriglace]

When I moved into my current ward I told the Bishop straight up I don't do Primary and I don't do nursery, so don't ask. I am 57 and single ... never been married or had kids. Little kids scare the heck out of me. I do however LOVE the teenagers ... most people would cut off an arm not to have to work with the teens.

My Bishop laughed and told me no problem ... I have been teaching the 14-15 yr olds for 4 years and love it. Pray and see what the Lord has to say then go for it. I have to admit as much as I love those kids I really enjoy a Sunday in GD class once in awhile.

[Anonymormon1]

I am one of those people who generally has the rule that when given a calling, you should accept and try to do the best you can. As a result I am presently serving in the nursery for the 12th time. I have served in the nursery in every ward I have ever lived in. Sometimes I think "Nursery leader" must be stamped on my forehead. I love little children. I am an elementary school teacher and have devoted my entire adult life to young children. I have even had a disagreement with my daughter-law about this because she feels that mothers of children in the nursery should never be called to serve there. After all they need a break! I feel like it is the best time to serve in the nursery. I served in the nursery with all of my children. To every thing there is a season. We have a small nursery and the children are sweet and love to come to nursery. I feel I do a great job when I am there, but most Sundays I don't want to go to church. I feel guilty asking to be released because the ward I am in has a very difficult time finding people who will serve in primary. What do you think I should do?

I think I can understand where you're coming from. I've served in Nursery for the last few years and for a couple years another time before. Nursery can be like being in a different ward and can be very isolating even though it can also be very rewarding.

I'm considering asking to be released from my calling in the Relief Society. (there's a post about it here) I feel guilty about asking to be released too. I've only had the calling for a short time, not even 3 months, but I have a lot of issues right now and I didn't tell my Bishop about them before. He did give me a week to pray about accepting the calling and I did and I thought that maybe the calling would be good for me and that maybe I could handle it. The only thing I told the Bishop is that I was really nervous about doing it. I didn't tell him why I was nervous about it or how I'm struggling with depression and anxiety and have a lot of issues due to infertility issues and finally becoming pregnant only to have to end it because it was ectopic. I've been praying about what to do and I think I will at least just talk to my Bishop and see what he says. I don't think I'll demand to be released, but I think it would be good if he knew how much I'm struggling with it and with life in general right now.

Several years ago I was in a YW's presidency and things weren't going very well with me and I was the third wheel to the YW president and the other counselor who were best friends. They would plan things or change things that were planned when I wasn't there and then not tell me about it but expect me to somehow know anyways. We had a small YW's and didn't have a secretary or advisers or anything, just the 3 of us. Anyway, I was ready to ask to be released and I prayed about it the day before I was going to talk to the Bishop. The answer to prayer I got was something like, "Just wait, keep serving, everything will be all right." so I ended up not talking to the Bishop about it. Three weeks later, the whole presidency was released. So I guess sometimes a Bishop is inspired to release people and sometimes we have to tell him if we're having problems.

Good luck with your decision. I'll say a prayer for you.