What is REQUIRED to change wards?

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Can someone please tell me what is absolutely required to change wards? I am trying to change my ward of record so that I can begin to attend church again after many years away from activity. The ward I wish to attend is my daughter and her family's ward. I am able to be in groups/strange places only if a family member or friend is with me. I do not really have any friends outside my family so this seems to be my only option. I suffer severe panic attacks and have asked to have my records sent to another ward. My bishop is unsympathetic and the stake president does not seem to understand the seriousness of my situation. Nobody seems to realize/believe that this is a serious situation for me and I am getting uncomfortable, to say the least, with the way my request is being handled. If I do not switch wards, I cannot attend - it is as simple as that. People say that I can attend wherever I want, but to not be a member of a ward would mean that I cannot have a calling or fully participate even to the extent of hopefully getting a temple reccomend some day. I would feel more like an outsider.....more than I already do.

Can someone help me understand what the actual requirements to have records transferred is? At this point I feel like I am just a statistic for the church to keep within a boundary for record keeping purposes. The courage it has taken me to actually even want to attend church again is more than I think anyone realizes.

Thank you in andvance for any input you may have.

Nana Bana

Edited February 15, 2011 by NanaBanaFoFana

[Guest mormonmusic]

Can someone please tell me what is absolutely required to change wards? I am trying to change my ward of record so that I can begin to attend church again after many years away from activity. The ward I wish to attend is my daughter and her family's ward. I am able to be in groups/strange places only if a family member or friend is with me. I do not really have any friends outside my family so this seems to be my only option. I suffer severe panic attacks and have asked to have my records sent to another ward. My bishop is unsympathetic and the stake president does not seem to understand the seriousness of my situation. Nobody seems to realize/believe that this is a serious situation for me and I am getting uncomfortable, to say the least, with the way my request is being handled. If I do not switch wards, I cannot attend - it is as simple as that. People say that I can attend wherever I want, but to not be a member of a ward would mean that I cannot have a calling or fully participate even to the extent of hopefully getting a temple reccomend some day. I would feel more like an outsider.....more than I already do.

Can someone help me understand what the actual requirements to have records transferred is? At this point I feel like I am just a statistic for the church to keep within a boundary for record keeping purposes. The courage it has taken me to actually even want to attend church again is more than I think anyone realizes.

Thank you in andvance for any input you may have.

Nana Bana

Officially, the SP has to approve Ward changes within the stake. If I was you, I'd go to the Ward of your family member. Get their permission to use their address, and have the new Ward's clerk request the records from the old Ward. Keep a few belongings at their home and treat it like another residence if your conscience bothers you.

I hate to be deceptive, but if this is what it takes to get some action on this issue, then I'd do it. Sorry folks. We were considering buying a condo in another Ward to get out of our own (which was struggling with HUGE problems in the Youth program due to weak leadership). It was too much hassle so we reconsidered, but I personally think there are times when you have to take matters into your own hands.

[prospectmom]

I agree mm I think the boundary issue doesn't always take into consideration issues which should be thoughtfully and sympathetically addressed but I have no idea how to get past these rules.

[slamjet]

Attend your families ward. If you stay there for a period of time, being active and contributing, then speak to the Bishop of the ward you are attending and ask if you can have your records switched over. I can assure you that someone coming out of inactivity is not going to get a calling right off the bat no matter what ward they attend. First go to church, then worry about the rest later. You're thinking too hard about this. Just take it one step at a time.

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Officially, the SP has to approve Ward changes within the stake. If I was you, I'd go to the Ward of your family member. Get their permission to use their address, and have the new Ward's clerk request the records from the old Ward. Keep a few belongings at their home and treat it like another residence if your conscience bothers you.

I hate to be deceptive, but if this is what it takes to get some action on this issue, then I'd do it. Sorry folks. We were considering buying a condo in another Ward to get out of our own (which was struggling with HUGE problems in the Youth program due to weak leadership). It was too much hassle so we reconsidered, but I personally think there are times when you have to take matters into your own hands.

That is exactly what my daughter said :)

Thank you for the input!

NanaBana

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Attend your families ward. If you stay there for a period of time, being active and contributing, then speak to the Bishop of the ward you are attending and ask if you can have your records switched over. I can assure you that someone coming out of inactivity is not going to get a calling right off the bat no matter what ward they attend. First go to church, then worry about the rest later. You're thinking too hard about this. Just take it one step at a time.

Thank you for the advice :) The only reason I was worried about the calling thing was that the Stake President basically bypassed my concern and asked me how I would like to have a calling in either RS, Primary, etc. I was really shocked, and it made me sick to my stomach to even think about it!

NanaBana

[NanaBanaFoFana]

I agree mm I think the boundary issue doesn't always take into consideration issues which should be thoughtfully and sympathetically addressed but I have no idea how to get past these rules.

Thank you for answering with understanding :)

NanaBana

[prospectmom]

I do know it can be done but do not know how as a family in our ward had to change wards but couldn't move . It was for personal reasons I do not quite know but am glad the Bishop and Stake Pres allowed it for them.

[NeuroTypical]

Hey NBFF -

If you haven't read it yet, this is a great talk. Maybe print a few out and hand them to your 'home ward' bishop and SP, as you are telling them you're moving to the other ward?

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Hey NBFF -

If you haven't read it yet, this is a great talk. Maybe print a few out and hand them to your 'home ward' bishop and SP, as you are telling them you're moving to the other ward?

LMM -

thank you SOOOO much for this article! It is awesome:). I am unable to print it up but I did copy and paste it to a return receipt email to all those involved. I asked them to pay attention to myth #4. I said that this would be the last time I would bother them with my request so I am hoping that they really will read it and respond.

Thanks again -

NanaBana

[applepansy]

Nana, I understand and can emphathize with your dilemna. Its very difficult when a bishop and/or stake president aren't really hearing us.

About attending another ward: In your shoes, I would probably attend your daughter's ward and eventually explain the situation to that bishop. Or your daughter could explain. I would NOT be deceptive about my residence. That will just lead to bad feelings in the future. Even if nobody found out, you would know. I'm pretty stubborn. I do know that I would only do this without my bishop's approval AFTER prayerful consideration. I would put my name, my bishop's name and my stake president's name on a temple prayer roll. Then I would ponder and pray some more, until I got a good feeling about my decision.

The requirement for changing wards is to move. Having said that there are sometimes extenuating circumstances that make a change like you want to make the best option. The church strongly discourages attending a ward where you don't live. There are a many reasons but the one that comes to my mind and may apply is, bishops are responsible for all the people who live in their ward boundaries.... not just the members of their ward. When my husband was in the bishopric the letter came from the 1st Presidency which stated this and it precipitated a conversation about how to make that work. Within our ward boundaries we have several camp grounds, and many non-member/member vacation homes. Its difficult to know what is going on and if there is help needed, if there isn't home teachers/visiting teachers or even just attendance. This assigned responsibility means that even if you are attending another ward your current ward's bishop is responsible on some level for your welfare. There are good reasons why the church does it this way.

Our ward was split several years ago. There were some bad feelings between two neighbors (next door neighbors). Both were in the old ward. One family felt that their issues were so bad that now they would use this split as the opportunity to attend a different ward. They came to our ward (the newly organized ward). The mother decided that her family would attend our ward regardless. The bishop and stake president both talked with her and what she said was "if we are not allowed to move to the other ward then we will not be attending at all." It was then decided it was better to keep the family active, so their records were moved and they attend our ward. This is a mileage issue for home teachers, visiting teachers, etc....not a big one but still out of boundaries. The bottom line is that an exception was made. The result is that the oldest boy served a mission, the second is one his mission and the two younger boys will likely go too. There is a happy ending for the children, but there are still unresolved feelings between the two families and there are feelings among other ward members because an exception was made for basically a selfish reason.

Your reason is NOT selfish. Your reason is a medical one and I in my humble opinion its in everyone's best interest that you attend with your daughter and her family.

I've been sitting here re-reading and thinking and pondering this post of mine. I have decided I have to say the following and I hope you will take it in the spirit its given. I do understand how hard it is to attend when there are panic attacks and even other health issues. So here goes: I have disagreed with a bishop in the past. My dad's counsel was to be obedient and there would be blessings. What I learned from that experience is when we are obedient to the counsel of our leaders (especially our bishop), even if he's wrong, we are blessed and blessed abundantly because we were obedient. Obedience is a biggy.

I wish you all the best and hope that this all works out for you in the best possible way.

applepansy

[mrmarklin]

I would personally just start attending your new ward, and let that bishop take it from there. I've never really understood the policy of anchoring people to wards where maybe they are uncomfortable for any reason.

Well, not totally true. I understand the concept of what the church is trying to do in theory, keeping priesthood holders together, etc etc. But I wouldn't feel bound by that. I've never regularly attended a ward where I haven't been assigned though. The situation has not arisen in my case.

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Applepansy-

thank you so much for your detailed response. It is ironic that location is not a huge issue here as both wards already meet in the same building. Also, my visiting teachers (when I actually have them) have to travel from an area farther than my daughter's ward, so the boundaries in this situation make no sense. My visiting teachers have never asked if I would like to go to church with them and I have never even had home teachers. I have come to the point that I would rather officially leave the church (have my name removed from all records) and attend as a non-member where I want with people I am comfortable with with nobody telling me I can't because I am more imprtant as a statistic in a boundary than a member trying very hard to becom active again. I understand that obedience is important, but I do not believe that we are to be obedient in a situation that we know is wrong. Blind obedience can become a dangerous thing. There is a line from the movie "God's Army 2" where one missionary asks another when they need to make a decision "Would you rather follow the rules or the commandments?". SOmetimes the rules actually do get in the way. I also understand that when we deviate from the rules it must be for a VERY good reason.

Thanks again -

NanaBana

[slamjet]

I have come to the point that I would rather officially leave the church (have my name removed from all records) and attend as a non-member where I want with people I am comfortable with with nobody telling me I can't because I am more imprtant as a statistic in a boundary than a member trying very hard to becom active again.

I would advise against that. It will make it more difficult to come back, let alone you will be left without the blessings of the Gift of the Holy Ghost. And that is what you desperately need to lean on when you work on coming back into activity and battle your "inner demons." I can tell you from personal experience that without it, you will be left empty. You will pray, feel the spirit, then he will depart leaving you feeling hollow inside.

I suggest you begin to ignore and tune out those voices who are holding you back. They may mean well, but they may also be way's for the tempter to get you to not return. You already are taking a HUGE step with your desire and working out the way you will feel comfortable returning to activity. Please do not do what I am so often guilty of and that is over analyzing. Just concentrate on getting to sacrament meeting (wherever you feel comfortable), praying at least twice daily and reading your scriptures daily. You will feel a difference in your spirituality and feelings towards others and the Church. Be patient with yourself.

[NanaBanaFoFana]

I would advise against that. It will make it more difficult to come back, let alone you will be left without the blessings of the Gift of the Holy Ghost. And that is what you desperately need to lean on when you work on coming back into activity and battle your "inner demons." I can tell you from personal experience that without it, you will be left empty. You will pray, feel the spirit, then he will depart leaving you feeling hollow inside.

I suggest you begin to ignore and tune out those voices who are holding you back. They may mean well, but they may also be way's for the tempter to get you to not return. You already are taking a HUGE step with your desire and working out the way you will feel comfortable returning to activity. Please do not do what I am so often guilty of and that is over analyzing. Just concentrate on getting to sacrament meeting (wherever you feel comfortable), praying at least twice daily and reading your scriptures daily. You will feel a difference in your spirituality and feelings towards others and the Church. Be patient with yourself.

THank you so much for your kind and wise words:)

NanaBana

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Well, my bishop said NO......He said that after a year we can "discuss the merrits and responsibilities" of having my records changed. It is pretty obvious that he did not read the article. If he DID read it then he has no heart. Not once has he asked if there is anything he can do or have done to make me more comfortable at church. I cannot tell you how huge of a disappointment it is to have not only my request denied but to have a bishop who seemingly could not care less.

NanaBana

[robynjeanne]

Nana,

I can completely understand what you are going thru. I too suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, and social phobias. I have not been to church in over 4 months because my husband got switched to a day shift (he is a nurse, works about 20 miles away, and we only have 1 car) and does not have Sunday's off. I have been offered rides to church but have declined because I only feel "safe" around strangers when I am with my husband.

It is very hard for people who have never experienced what we do to understand. The people in my ward are very understanding. I still have my home teachers and visiting teachers come over. Apparently the ward I belong to have been praying that my husband would get an evenng shift with Sunday's off. My husband had told his boss that should one open, he would like to be considered for it.

Lo and behold, he just found out of an opening and will start evening shifts starting on April 1st and will have Saturdays and Sundays off.

I am so sorry that your bishop is not understanding to your needs!! I, too, just read the article in the Ensign. Yes, it does seem to me that your bishop did not even bother reading it. My heart goes out to you. I would definitely heed the words of a poster on here and place a few personal belongings at your daughters house and use that address so that you can attend their ward. I hardly think that Heavenly Father would think any less of you for wanting to attend another ward due to your condition!!

Blessings,

Robin

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Robin -

thank you so much for your kind and understanding reply. You really DO understand what it is like to only feel safe around strangers when you are with a certain person. I am happy for you that your husband has a different shift starting soon. That is great! I will pray for you too.

Nana

[slamjet]

Well, my bishop said NO......He said that after a year we can "discuss the merrits and responsibilities" of having my records changed. It is pretty obvious that he did not read the article. If he DID read it then he has no heart. Not once has he asked if there is anything he can do or have done to make me more comfortable at church. I cannot tell you how huge of a disappointment it is to have not only my request denied but to have a bishop who seemingly could not care less.

NanaBana

Then just go. It's more important for you to attend church, than to worry where your records are going to be. Don't let this be a setback for you.

Realize that in some Stakes there is a moratorium on members records being shifted around. One Stake I was in had records all over the place. The Stake President had all the records and members sent back to their proper wards and stuck by the book when it came to members switching wards. there was so much abuse of the privilege, he had to get it back under control. So don't judge the Bishop harshly. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Also remember, he hadn't seen you for a while and doesn't know you well.

[NanaBanaFoFana]

Actually my bishop and I have never met. He has only been there for a couple of months. My old bishop knew me. I wish he was still bishop....

NanaBana

[slamjet]

Actually my bishop and I have never met. He has only been there for a couple of months. My old bishop knew me. I wish he was still bishop....

NanaBana

That explains a whole lot. Go to church wherever you feel comfortable. After some time, the drama will wear down and everyone on all sides will be able to think about this in a compassionate manner, including yourself.

My advice; stop thinking about it. Stop worrying about it. Just go to church, read your scriptures and say your prayers. Everything else will follow.

[NanaBanaFoFana]

THe Stake President said no too.

I am leaving the church. I need to be somewhere where they actually care.

Thank you all for your advice and counsel.

NanaBana

[volgadon]

THe Stake President said no too.

I am leaving the church. I need to be somewhere where they actually care.

Thank you all for your advice and counsel.

NanaBana

Don't leave the church. It really is not worth it merely because two individuals said no to something you requested. I know where you are coming from. My wife and I are trying to have our records switched to a different ward. Part of the reason is my work schedule, but the main reason is because we do not feel welcome at all in that ward. Indeed, for almost 6 months the only attention we have received is people coming to collect fast offerings. During that time nobody seemed to mind that we weren't attending (we did attend other wards, we didn't stay at home on Sunday), but all of a sudden, as we've tried to switch wards, there has been more attention. Don't let the actions of two individuals turn you away from the right path.

[prospectmom]

Have your old Bishop enlighten your new Bishop about your situation. I know it seems like sometimes The Bishop etc do not care but truly they do and you need to do your part to fully communicate to them. Pray that they have an understanding to your situation and pray they have compassion for you. I do believe this can be worked out.

[miztrniceguy]

I went to a different ward than my official ward for almost a year. At first people in classes that didn't know me asked if I was visiting, to which I answered "sort of" ...others who knew me (previous ward,same building )asked if I had moved back. After 3-4 weeks, the bishop asked to meet with us. We explained our reasons, were not asking that our records be transferred. He let us know the consequence of not attending correct ward (no callings, no temple rec renewal) and said he would ask for our records to be transferred. I told him he could, but it didn't matter to us. When he informed me the request was denied I just shrugged and said ok. We continued until we were ready to go back to the other ward.