LDSChristian Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) I'm in an interesting situation. There's a girl I've known since we were in the 5th grade and we've been friends ever since. We're both 19. I'm a little over a month older. We're really close. We've always been able to talk to each other about anything and everything and can make each other laugh. We don't hide our real selves from each other because we're comfortable with each other. I'm currently dating someone and she is too just to throw that out there. People have told us in the past that we should date. We've had arguments before. She is the only girl I've ever been able to patch things up with no matter how much we argue or how bad the argument is. We always find a way to get back how we were laughing and carrying on and just having a good time. Every time I'm around her I get this feeling I don't know how to explain. She also said, not asked, but said we needed to go to the movies sometime. My parents also said perhaps it's meant for her and I to be together. If you saw how we act towards each other you'd understand why they say that. But everything seems to point to what my parents say. What should I do? Considering we always find a way back to each other could it be possible that we could be meant for each other? Edited February 27, 2011 by LDSChristian
slamjet Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 Are you kidding? If you consider yourself so mature, you will know that someone you fight with, then make up, then repeat is only asking for disaster. Question: Are you planning on going on a mission? It sure seems like you're not.
LDSChristian Posted February 27, 2011 Author Report Posted February 27, 2011 Maybe I should have added this. I won't even bother responding to rude comments because they are uncalled for. If you have something useful to say please feel free to say it. If it's not useful then don't bother. You'll know because I won't reply to your comment.
Soulsearcher Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 LOL not that i ever would, but i have to say the past few days have reminded my why i wouldn't ask for dating advice on this site, lol and I'm not saying this in a bad way or to tear anyone down it's said with the best of intentions and a smile on my face lol.
slamjet Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 How is it that you ask for advice, we give you advice based on the life's experience we've had, that is well over twice as much life that you have lived. And it's rude? Ok, No rude comment, advice. Get real. You first start off with a minor, then someone who is your age. You're hunting for a love connection with someone and it's going to get you into trouble. You really need to talk to your Bishop and/or a professional. You're 19, get yourself ready and go on a mission. Then when you come back and you will be better equipped to find that one to spend your life with. Until then, you are only going to get yourself deep into situations that will limit your options for your future.
NeuroTypical Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 could it be possible that we could be meant for each other?There's no such thing.'Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price. — Spencer W. KimballThere are, however, lots of teenage hormones that make people feel that way. I'm betting that's what you've got going on.I mean, that's not a bad thing. It's just not nearly as set in stone as you might dearly want to believe.LM
Wingnut Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 How is it that you ask for advice, we give you advice based on the life's experience we've had, that is well over twice as much life that you have lived. And it's rude?Because anything that isn't explicitly what he wants to hear is rude.Duh.
slamjet Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 Because anything that isn't explicitly what he wants to hear is rude.Duh.Thus my question, why is he asking for advice if he doesn't want to hear it? He really needs to think life through with a bit more serious intent and planning.
Soulsearcher Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) Thus my question, why is he asking for advice if he doesn't want to hear it? He really needs to think life through with a bit more serious intent and planning.I do ask, and with no intent to insult, but from what you've said you have made some less than smart choices in life, can you say at no point that no one tried to direct you the right way instead? Yes the OP might be young and a lil thickheaded, but if you remember back I'm willing we all were and nothing could have changed us. It might feel like we are beating our heads against a wall, but it's pay back for all the people we did it to. Time to let him do as he will and learn as he goes like most of us did. We can give general advice without picking on someone or pointing out the flaws we see.As for the initial question the most important thing to ask is what do you want to do? You have a girl, will you throw her away to take a chance or are you actually with her for a reason? If your female friend watches you toss another girl away with ease, there is a good chance she will lack the ability to trust in your loyalty to a relationship with her. While you shouldn't be forming deep relationships before a mission i still would advise keeping a certain amount of honor in your dealings with those you date.Also with true respect i do advise the OP develop a thicker skin. People here will tell you what they think and why. If you disagree come back with well thought out logical replies rather than a more....undisciplined response. It will make you look wiser and might also prove to others you might not fit the stereo type you are trying to avoid. Yes sometimes we slip and let emotion get in the way, but it's better for it to be rare. Edited February 27, 2011 by Soulsearcher clarification
LDSChristian Posted February 27, 2011 Author Report Posted February 27, 2011 Thus my question, why is he asking for advice if he doesn't want to hear it? He really needs to think life through with a bit more serious intent and planning.Because of the attitude you've given. Loudmouth and soulsearch gave an opposing comment to what I'd want to hear but I was willing to read what they had to say because it wasn't in a rude way.
slamjet Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) Because of the attitude you've given. Loudmouth and soulsearch gave an opposing comment to what I'd want to hear but I was willing to read what they had to say because it wasn't in a rude way.Your choice.Not my issue.I'm quite straightforward. If that turns you off, well, so be it. No skin of my back. Edited February 27, 2011 by slamjet
Backroads Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) There's no such thing.There are, however, lots of teenage hormones that make people feel that way. I'm betting that's what you've got going on.I mean, that's not a bad thing. It's just not nearly as set in stone as you might dearly want to believe.LMHas anyone seen the documentary The Science of Attraction? Or at least that's what I think it was called. Might have been the Science of Sex. Explained all of it. Edited February 27, 2011 by Backroads
Backroads Posted February 27, 2011 Report Posted February 27, 2011 I think it's quite possible this girl would be a great one for your to persue a relationship with. It sounds like you've good chemistry. But it also seems you like another girl from your other posts. Are you looking for a serious relationship right now, possibly marriage, or just some nice dating experiences?
LDSChristian Posted February 27, 2011 Author Report Posted February 27, 2011 I think it's quite possible this girl would be a great one for your to persue a relationship with. It sounds like you've good chemistry. But it also seems you like another girl from your other posts. Are you looking for a serious relationship right now, possibly marriage, or just some nice dating experiences?We do get along great. It's rare to argue but when we do we manage to always make up. Everyone happens for a reason. I'm going for dating experiences but also possible marriage. However, I do plan on serving a mission as well. I've also been talking to the daughter of the branch president where my grandparents go. When I get the chance, I'm going to ask if I can write her while I'm gone. She's a junior right now but when I get back she'd already be out of high school +1 year so that would be good. I really like the girl I'm dating and have always been close to the other girl and I also want to marry a girl in the temple so it's good that I'm talking to a girl that's a member.
rameumptom Posted February 28, 2011 Report Posted February 28, 2011 Weren't you just telling us recently about how wonderful your 16 year old girlfriend is? Now you want advice on another girl? I suggest you stop dating for a while, until you get your own head on straight. You are allowing emotions and hormones to drive you every which way but loose. If you are leading girls around until you are bored and then decide to drop them for someone else, well you are not ready to be dating. This is a sign of emotional insecurity and un-readiness. Stop all real relationships for now, and only date as friends. Then, start reading and studying up on books regarding relationships. Read up on emotional and spiritual stability, so you can make the changes necessary in your life. It is better to do it now than to find out after being married that you aren't ready for such a commitment. None of us can say what you feel or think, nor how these two girls feel/think. But we can observe behaviors and see what's going on in your comments on many of these threads. You seem like a good kids. But you are not ready for a real relationship right now. Stop now. Date for fun, not for a serious relationship. Then spend the time, at least 6 months, reading and preparing yourself for real relationships. Your parents, bishop and others can probably help, or suggest some great books on the topic.
LDSChristian Posted February 28, 2011 Author Report Posted February 28, 2011 Well I'm free to look for other girls now. I dumped my now ex because I found out she cheated on me. It came straight from the horse's mouth.
Guest Posted February 28, 2011 Report Posted February 28, 2011 Cheated on you after a week of dating? Uhm... maybe she thought you were just dating as friends - not really dating exclusively? I mean - that's the norm with teen-agers and early 20's... It's fairly uncommon to cheat within 1 week of a relationship, so chances are, you weren't on the same page. And if my understanding is correct, then she's one smart girl.
LDSChristian Posted February 28, 2011 Author Report Posted February 28, 2011 Weren't you just telling us recently about how wonderful your 16 year old girlfriend is? Now you want advice on another girl?I suggest you stop dating for a while, until you get your own head on straight. You are allowing emotions and hormones to drive you every which way but loose.If you are leading girls around until you are bored and then decide to drop them for someone else, well you are not ready to be dating. This is a sign of emotional insecurity and un-readiness. Stop all real relationships for now, and only date as friends.Then, start reading and studying up on books regarding relationships. Read up on emotional and spiritual stability, so you can make the changes necessary in your life. It is better to do it now than to find out after being married that you aren't ready for such a commitment. None of us can say what you feel or think, nor how these two girls feel/think. But we can observe behaviors and see what's going on in your comments on many of these threads. You seem like a good kids. But you are not ready for a real relationship right now. Stop now. Date for fun, not for a serious relationship. Then spend the time, at least 6 months, reading and preparing yourself for real relationships. Your parents, bishop and others can probably help, or suggest some great books on the topic.I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. I know what a real relationship is. I'm 19 so I'm not a kid. What's with people telling others to stop dating? "Date for fun, not for a serious relationship."Dating isn't a game. Since your advice is to not date for a serious relationship then are you suggesting people to get married for fun as well? By dating, you hope to build into a serious relationship. By dating someone you want to see if they're for you in regards to marriage and it's nearly impossible to do that by just "dating for fun". If you date to not get into a serious relationship you're defeating the purpose because it's that serious relationship that will build to marriage.
fadedflag Posted February 28, 2011 Report Posted February 28, 2011 I'm in an interesting situation. There's a girl I've known since we were in the 5th grade and we've been friends ever since. We're both 19. I'm a little over a month older. We're really close. We've always been able to talk to each other about anything and everything and can make each other laugh. We don't hide our real selves from each other because we're comfortable with each other. I'm currently dating someone and she is too just to throw that out there. People have told us in the past that we should date. We've had arguments before. She is the only girl I've ever been able to patch things up with no matter how much we argue or how bad the argument is. We always find a way to get back how we were laughing and carrying on and just having a good time. Every time I'm around her I get this feeling I don't know how to explain. She also said, not asked, but said we needed to go to the movies sometime. My parents also said perhaps it's meant for her and I to be together. If you saw how we act towards each other you'd understand why they say that. But everything seems to point to what my parents say. What should I do? Considering we always find a way back to each other could it be possible that we could be meant for each other?My wife and I started dating at age 16. At that point in my life I should have been focusing on the relation ship with my Savior and HF, and only been dating girls as friends. Getting involved in a committed relationship at a young age has cost us to make many mistakes, and although we are happy to be married to each other and have a beautiful family, we wish we would have done things HF's way. Make sure you're prepared emotionally and spiritually before getting serious about any girl or woman you meet. Build a solid relationship with Christ and HF, they will never steer you wrong and give better advice than any mortal can.
LDSChristian Posted February 28, 2011 Author Report Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) Cheated on you after a week of dating?Uhm... maybe she thought you were just dating as friends - not really dating exclusively? I mean - that's the norm with teen-agers and early 20's...It's fairly uncommon to cheat within 1 week of a relationship, so chances are, you weren't on the same page. And if my understanding is correct, then she's one smart girl.I'll say this again. I dumped her because she cheated on me. Yes we were dating exclusively. "And if my understanding is correct, then she's one smart girl."Wow. So you find it a smart move to cheat on someone. The junk you just said was pretty low. Then if your husband cheated on you I reckon that would be a smart move.Me and her were dating. I was her boyfriend and she was my girlfriend. She cheated on me. I dumped her. Anatess, if you're going to comment you can at least have the decency to show an ounce of respect instead of laughing about what someone goes through. Edited February 28, 2011 by LDSChristian
LDSChristian Posted February 28, 2011 Author Report Posted February 28, 2011 My wife and I started dating at age 16. At that point in my life I should have been focusing on the relation ship with my Savior and HF, and only been dating girls as friends. Getting involved in a committed relationship at a young age has cost us to make many mistakes, and although we are happy to be married to each other and have a beautiful family, we wish we would have done things HF's way. Make sure you're prepared emotionally and spiritually before getting serious about any girl or woman you meet. Build a solid relationship with Christ and HF, they will never steer you wrong and give better advice than any mortal can.Thank you for being one of the very few people on this entire forum to show some respect and class.
Wingnut Posted February 28, 2011 Report Posted February 28, 2011 I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. I know what a real relationship is. I'm 19 so I'm not a kid.I laughed at the post, but this deserved extra laughs.
Guest Posted February 28, 2011 Report Posted February 28, 2011 I'll say this again. I dumped her because she cheated on me. Yes we were dating exclusively. "And if my understanding is correct, then she's one smart girl."Wow. So you find it a smart move to cheat on someone. The junk you just said was pretty low. Then if your husband cheated on you I reckon that would be a smart move.Me and her were dating. I was her boyfriend and she was my girlfriend. She cheated on me. I dumped her. Anatess, if you're going to comment you can at least have the decency to show an ounce of respect instead of laughing about what someone goes through.There you go again... letting fly with the keys without understanding what you're reading. Maybe you need to read the posts TWICE... even THRICE before you reply.Here... let me re-post what I said...Uhm... maybe she thought you were just dating as friends - not really dating exclusively? I mean - that's the norm with teen-agers and early 20's...It's fairly uncommon to cheat within 1 week of a relationship, so chances are, you weren't on the same page. And if my understanding is correct, then she's one smart girl.See those bolded phrases? That means - I understood it to be that she didn't think you were dating exclusively. And, if that understanding is correct, then she's one smart girl.GET IT?LDSChristian, you act like a 5-year-old and thinks you're oh-so-mature.I don't have time for that bull crap. You're not worth my time.Wish you the best in your life... you'll need a big dose of luck to overcome your nasty attitude. I feel bad for any girl that gets caught up in your craziness!
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