No Baby Shower

[Bini]

My parents and sister live a good distance from us, which makes planning and throwing a baby shower a bit tedious. Though it is not expected of them, my parents have already mentioned that they have something special for us, and my sister is custom crocheting a blanket and booties for baby. In-laws have not said anything at this point but I'm pretty sure MIL isn't planning a surprise baby shower for me. Again, it's not expected of her to do so. My best friend is in California and my small group of lady friends are in no financial position to throw a baby shower. For the third time and for the record, it's not expected of them.

Having said all that.. This is my first pregnancy and first baby. I can't help but feel a bit saddened that I probably won't be having a baby shower. I know, they're probably not that big of a deal. But for a first time mommy, the idea is a really nice sentiment. I guess it'd just be nice to have a special day planned where I can have "my moment" and share it with those that are dearest to me. I'm probably just experiencing a flooding of pregnancy hormones and I'm being really sensitive about this.. Ugh.

Anyway, once we find out the gender, I'm wanting to send out a baby announcement with a registry attached to it. It will only be sent to family and friends. It won't be sent off to extended family or handed out to people at my work. Unconventional, I know.. Has anyone else done this? Has anyone else not had a baby shower as a first time mum?

[Wingnut]

...and my small group of lady friends are in no financial position to throw a baby shower.

I live in a ward where this is also the case, yet showers happen for every.single.baby. Whether it's a first or a fourth, showers happen for every baby. Often, with later babies, the mom will request no gifts, but accept the gift of the party itself. Sometimes, I wish that the people throwing the parties (which are, like twice a month, sometimes) would realize that it's unaffordable for most of us.

[pam]

Now now now Bini. You will have a baby shower. We have many women in your area that are here on lds.net and we're going to do one for you. I'll keep in touch with you.

We can't let you go without one.

[Guest]

I didn't want a baby shower... I was urging my sister-in-law and the relief society not to hold one for me. I've been to several baby showers and it's always just for women with cheesy baby games and it all seemed like "begging" for presents.

Of course, they still held a baby shower for me. The RS did the traditional women only thing with the parlor games and everybody that came brought a gift. I thought I would hate it, but I actually had a great time!

But, my sister-in-law's party was the best! She held it at the pool and the invitations didn't go out as a "baby shower"... it went out as "baby celebration". And everybody was invited - husband, wife, and all the kids! And you know with Filipinos... they'll find every excuse to party... There was bouncy houses and all kinds of stuff.

She made me do a registry but she didn't send out the registry info on the invite because she didn't want the party to be a "gift is expected" party. So, she only gave the registry info to those who called asking if I have one.

So yeah, when my sister-in-law had her baby (after me), I threw her one of those parties too!

Usually, in our ward, the RS hosts a baby shower for first baby or first boy, first girl (like, if it's the 4th child but the first girl, we throw a baby shower). But, for non-first babies, we throw a diaper party. Everybody brings a diaper to the party.

[Guest]

Now now now Bini. You will have a baby shower. We have many women in your area that are here on lds.net and we're going to do one for you. I'll keep in touch with you.

We can't let you go without one.

PAM! This is AWESOME! Let me know when... I might not be there physically, but I'll figure out how to join in the fun!

[Maureen]

Usually baby showers are not really considered until the mother-to-be is in the 3rd trimester or when the baby is already born. My baby showers happened after my daughter and son were born. It is kind of early to worry about baby showers.

M.

[Soulsearcher]

Never been a fan of women only baby showers. Took two people to make the kid so both of them should be there and welcome :)

[Maureen]

Never been a fan of women only baby showers. Took two people to make the kid so both of them should be there and welcome :)

Baby showers can be done for the mother and baby or couple and baby, I don't think there are carved in stone rules. :)

M.

[Bini]

Usually baby showers are not really considered until the mother-to-be is in the 3rd trimester or when the baby is already born. My baby showers happened after my daughter and son were born. It is kind of early to worry about baby showers.

M.

This is true. My point was simply that I know a baby shower is not in the foreseeable future, regardless if I'm 12 weeks or in my third trimester. BUT I'm not complaining anymore. Pam and others have made a very generous gesture, which I really do appreciate but I cannot accept. I know this subject has been talked about prior this post but I just wouldn't feel comfortable being thrown a baby shower at the expense of you lovely ladies. But thank you so much for thinking of me! When I tell my husband about this he'll just raise a brow and say, "how is it that people from church will throw you a baby shower when you don't even go to church?". Well—I need to work on that part but I'll tell him I'm a fairly regular attendee when it comes to participating at LDS.Net :] But on top of that, I forget the kindness that is found within the church, regardless if you're an active member or not. Thank you.

Never been a fan of women only baby showers. Took two people to make the kid so both of them should be there and welcome

I don't think men are strictly excluded from baby showers. I know a lot of fathers will attend them. But typically it tends to be friends of the expecting mother who are likely all female. It's kind of a show-n-tell bonding experience, sometimes silly games are thrown in there, etc etc. I think while the father-to-be may participate, I see it less likely as a whole, that his friends will want to attend a baby shower of a woman that is not their own significant other.

[Guest jengilbrat]

"Never been a fan of women only baby showers. Took two people to make the kid so both of them should be there and welcome "

I had to force my husband (at the time) to go, then all he did was watch the game in the other room, and he hates sports! Hahaha....oh well.

[Soulsearcher]

Baby showers can be done for the mother and baby or couple and baby, I don't think there are carved in stone rules. :)

M.

I only say it cause I've been banned from a few along with all other males, just seems kinda silly to me but oh well lol. I do find it depends on the family, but i was given a few odd looks from the female LDS i knew when talking about going to baby showers.

[pam]

. Pam and others have made a very generous gesture, which I really do appreciate but I cannot accept. I know this subject has been talked about prior this post but I just wouldn't feel comfortable being thrown a baby shower at the expense of you lovely ladies. But thank you so much for thinking of me! When I tell my husband about this he'll just raise a brow and say, "how is it that people from church will throw you a baby shower when you don't even go to church?". Well—I need to work on that part but I'll tell him I'm a fairly regular attendee when it comes to participating at LDS.Net :] But on top of that, I forget the kindness that is found within the church, regardless if you're an active member or not. Thank you.

Really had nothing to do with being active or not active, LDS or not. Just wanting to do something for someone that we feel has become a friend. But I will respect your wishes. Though I wish you would reconsider. :)

[Guest]

Well, if she won't reconsider, we can still get a hold of her registry! The store can mail it to her directly I think. Even a pack of el cheapo diapers or generic onesies will help!

[jayanna]

Since you did ask the question, bini, I did not have a baby shower for either one of my two girls. While I was a little sad about it, I'm very independent, and even though my baby's things came from garage sales and resale shops, I did not lack a single necessary item.

I think you should do whatever you can look back on later and not have any regrets. If that means that you send out your announcements with a registry mention, you should do it. If that means that you let Pam do a party, you should do it.

[ScrabbleRouser]

Not a woman, so of course not in a position to say yeah or nay to the concept of a baby shower, but I did spend nearly two decades in a marriage where conception was never a possibilty, but I do say go bask in the momen..you'll have earned it after 9 months of carrying your child to full term!

[pmccraken]

I just wanted to tell everyone HELLO!!! I'm new here.:)

[ctr123]

I didn't really want baby showers because I don't like to be the center of attention, but I absoultly love throwing baby showers. I love it even more when they are first time moms. Bini you should reconsider Pam's offer if she really wants to and is able. I don't know you but I would so throw you one if I lived by you. (don't know where you live). What is not fun about celeberating a gift from God. I hope you get a surpised one. And they don't have to be expensive at all. A few fun games steamers and ballons. Get your husband on board ask him to throw you one. Haha I only laugh because I can not even imagine my husband being able to do that. Maybe yours can. Good Luck!