Cleaning up a dirty mouth

[blackknight5k]

Every job I've ever worked there has been an abundance of foul language from my co-workers and, well, myself . I have had a dirty mouth since I was about 11 years old, if you can think of it I've probably said it. This is probably one of my largest hurdles to get over in order to keep the spirit with me at all times, however when everyone around me is dropping the f bomb and using every other manner of words mine kind of slip. Lately things have been much easier, i only slipped once last night and tonight (as far as I remember) I haven't slipped at all, however I was wondering if you converts or members who fell away for a time know any tips or tricks to clean up a dirty mouth.

[applepansy]

My grandfather was an old time rancher. His language was colorful at times. Growing up I learned it is a choice. Habits are hard to break but they are breakable. When I have difficulty breaking a habit I first pray about it asking Heavenly Father to strengthen me in my efforts to change. Then I try to consciously make the change. Depending on the habit it can be easy or hard, but with the Lord's help even I can change. You can too.

My husband has a different story about cussing. When he was a teenager he often worked on his neighbor's ranch. They had a son a year older than my husband and the boys were good friends. One day while visiting a neighboring rancher the Dad took the boys with him. The neighboring rancher's language was exceptionally colorful. My husband uses the word foul. The Dad finished his buisness with the neighbor and didn't correct him. On the way home he quietly said to the boys "Some people just don't know any better." That's all he said. That one small statement made a big impression on my husband and I have never heard even a minor cuss word out of my husband. He worked retail management while our children were growing up and is now a contractor. Both work environments are filled with bad language. Co-workers and other contractors always eventually ask me if my husband ever slips and says something bad. I always smile and say "no."

I know you have the strength through Christ to make the changes you seek.

[Avrham]

Hello Blackknight

I used to struggle with a bad mouth myself having been through the Army where they used all sorts of colourful language which if I remember correctly we called it (swearing)"speaking french" as the Queens English does not contain a foul word>but I have found that my bad mouth has disapeared over time and the only time I swear is when I am very upset I try not too follow old habits such as being casual in conversations and always trying to listen to the "Spirit" to try promote more meaningful conversations with people every day especially with my "Fellow Harden troops" sounds easy or maybe I am catching up with my age or my maturity

my Wife taped me once and every second word was bad and I was quite suprised myself when she replayed it but I concesiously decided when my daughter was born that I try not too use bad language>besides "Our mouths should be used for Heavenly fathers purpose"A reminder from my family:):):)

I pray that Christ will give you strength to make the right choices:):)

[The_Phoenix]

Every job I've ever worked there has been an abundance of foul language from my co-workers and, well, myself . I have had a dirty mouth since I was about 11 years old, if you can think of it I've probably said it. This is probably one of my largest hurdles to get over in order to keep the spirit with me at all times, however when everyone around me is dropping the f bomb and using every other manner of words mine kind of slip. Lately things have been much easier, i only slipped once last night and tonight (as far as I remember) I haven't slipped at all, however I was wondering if you converts or members who fell away for a time know any tips or tricks to clean up a dirty mouth.

I feel your pain.

[MorningStar]

H*** if I know!

[Lost_one]

I used to be very bad and seem to fall back into the habit when I'm around my dad. He can't speak a single sentence without the f word in it. I actually stopped swearing mostly because my middle daughter was getting very bad for it and I felt like a hypocrite telling her off for it, while doing it myself.

I can't remember which church president it was, But I remember the story that he washed his sons mouth out with soap for swearing, then one day he was telling a story to a group of friends and he used a swear word. His son pointed this out to him and he agreed that he was wrong and let his son wash his mouth out with soap. That's what got me. I might be mis-remembering the story somewhat, But do remember it having a big impact on me and my foul mouth. It could have been the church presidents father and the son was the church president. Not sure, sorry.

Edited March 25, 2011 by Lost_one

[slamjet]

Worked for generations in my family.

[Soulsearcher]

You have to find yourself really wanting to do it for a reason important to you. For me it was when i was working for an LDS family. 5 LDS kids you'd better believe i had to watch my mouth. Just be aware and make the commitment to it. People make fun of me all the time now cause when i swear it takes them by surprise cause it's so rare.

[Jennarator]

No one suggested Orbitz gum yet? "Diry mouth? Clean it up."

[slamjet]

No one suggested Orbitz gum yet? "Diry mouth? Clean it up."

oh... my... word.

[blackknight5k]

Thanks guys, it's not something I WANT to do, it's just my mouth forms the words and then it happens...

Usually when I'm ranting about something at work, we have a TON of people who don't pull their weight and make more work on the rest of us, whenever I'm ranting it usually happens. However, good news! Went all through last night without one swear word!

[MorningStar]

My husband has worked in environments with lots of swearing. Eventually, people figure out that he doesn't swear (out loud - hahahahaha) and they change their language around him. Change your mouth and you might find others following along. Then you'll hear it less and maybe the urge will decrease.

[RipplecutBuddha]

my trick to cut swearing...wait.

when something happens that typically causes you to curse, don't say anything at first. Just be silent until you can get control of yourself again. Don't say the first thing that comes to mind. Just wait for something else to come to mind.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I came to the workplace in my early 20's with a pure mind and mouth. Then I had to work alongside people who swore constantly and used sex and personal fluids analogies for all kinds of situations. One person I sat across from said one four letter word 10 times a day.

I left that job with swear words in my head, but not spoken. But then, when I had a long period of doing things alone, I started swearing under my breath. By that time, I was swearing in my heart regularly. How to get rid of it?

Surround yourself with people who don't believe in swearing whenever you can. It becomes a real check.

Also, as a Canadian in America, people would always make fun of me when I would say "Eh" (Ay) at the end of my sentences. I replaced it with "Huh?" Nice day huh? And then I dropped it altogether. So, consider replacing your swear words with benign phrases in your mind that don't broach swearing if you can't cut the swear words immediately out of habit. Replace them with benign words. Then, work on getting rid of the benign words.

It has worked for me. The mind is never the same again, unfortunately, but at least one can keep it in check.

Edited March 25, 2011 by mormonmusic

[classylady]

When I was a teenager (many, many, many years ago), and I noticed I was saying swear words in my mind, I decided to change those words for something rather innocuous--like "monkey's feet", or "dog's breath", or something else just as cheesy. This even helps me to this day. I love to sing along with songs, and there's a particular Gwen Stefani song, "Hollaback Girl", that I love to sing along with. I'll sing "Ship" instead of the actual word, and sing it loud enough to drown out the actual word. My teenaged daughter thought I was weird! (I probably should have switched the song to a different song. Never said I was perfect).

It's hard when you're in an environment where you're surrounded by bad language. My own experience has been, that at first I would cringe whenever I heard a bad word, then I stopped cringing, and then started thinking those words in my mind. Luckily I never got to the point where I was actually saying the words. But, I don't even want those words in my mind! And now days, you hear the bad language wherever you go. I feel bad for the kids in high school. It's so prevalent.

[Saintmichaeldefendthem1]

This is an all too frequent senario where a workplace is filled with profanity. One notable exception for me is when I worked for an oil change company owned by a Christian. In all facilities profanity was strictly banned and enforced at every level. It was truly a joy to work there.

Profanity seems to me an unpleasant background noise, a sort of irking buzz. I get used to hearing it. One thing I never get used to hearing is having the name of the Lord taken in vain. This slams against my spirit and when it happens, I have no choice but to speak up and request a refrain from that behavior. I find people are more amicable to my request the Lord's name not be taken in vain if they believe I'm not trying to control ALL filthy language and that I'm picking my battles. One thing I learned as a Catholic that I can do is to pray a reparation when the Lord's name is used in vain. If I pray silently, "Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ, King of endless glory," or perform an act of kindness, I can reverse the damage inflicted in the spiritual realm when that precious Name is abused. Even better still, one does not have to be Catholic to minister reparations. Any baptized Christian can do so.

[blackknight5k]

When I was a teenager (many, many, many years ago), and I noticed I was saying swear words in my mind, I decided to change those words for something rather innocuous--like "monkey's feet", or "dog's breath", or something else just as cheesy. This even helps me to this day. I love to sing along with songs, and there's a particular Gwen Stefani song, "Hollaback Girl", that I love to sing along with. I'll sing "Ship" instead of the actual word, and sing it loud enough to drown out the actual word. My teenaged daughter thought I was weird! (I probably should have switched the song to a different song. Never said I was perfect).

It's hard when you're in an environment where you're surrounded by bad language. My own experience has been, that at first I would cringe whenever I heard a bad word, then I stopped cringing, and then started thinking those words in my mind. Luckily I never got to the point where I was actually saying the words. But, I don't even want those words in my mind! And now days, you hear the bad language wherever you go. I feel bad for the kids in high school. It's so prevalent.

haha, I have been using "monkey" and "fudge" and other words like that...it does help, but now I"m starting to get to the point that I don't have to use any of those either. Thanks for all your opinions everyone.

[bytebear]

Has anyone suggested a swear jar? Put in a dollar for every swear. Play with co-workers. If anything you will have enough money to go to a team lunch.

[Iggy]

Don't use another word like monkey or fudge as a substitute. THINK before you speak.

Increase your vocabulary. Read more, do crossword puzzles and use a crossword dictionary. Once you learn what the word really means, then you will have more words to use when you do speak.

When you are angry or hurt (I use to cuss a blue streak when I got physically hurt) do not use the substitute words. Never was I able to come up with any other words other than Ow, Ouch, Owie, & Hurt. Guess what? Those words worked just fine! Try vocalizing exactly how you feel. Hurt, hurt, hurt. Oh, the pain, the pain, pain, painpainpain. Pretty soon, you are too out of breath to say anything.

Another thing - in anger, you lash out at the person, what do you start your tirade with? YOU. You so-an-so,YOU blah-blah-blah, YOU yada-yada-yada.

Consciously stop yourself from beginning an angry retort with YOU. That is attack mode. Don't attack.

Totally delete the swear words, filthy words from your vocabulary. Do NOT replace them with softer words. Mother-bear. Fudge. What the Flip. Even though you are not using the F*** word, you still mean it.

Use the correct words. What the Flip = What do you mean, or what is that, or just What?

If a job was hard to do- then rather than use filthy words to attempt to describe it, simply say - that job was very hard to do.

K.I.S.S. ==Keep It Simple, Silly.

In short, those who depend on swear words and who use filthy words have a limited vocabulary. Increase your vocabulary, delete the filthy/swear words & phrases and take time to think before you respond.

I did it. I learned the filthy/cuss words from my Uncle the cop, from the guys my first husband worked with and the loggers, truck drivers, construction workers who patronized my Tavern. I could out cuss most of the tavern customers.

Took me several years to "clean up" my mouth- I put everything I had into cleaning up after I over heard a lady I really respected say: A filthy mouth like hers (meaning me) is a sign of a very limited education. What ever she learned in High School, she has obviously tossed it aside. She is a real trash mouth now.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Iggy

[Guest xforeverxmetalx]

One thing to keep in mind is that what works for someone else, might not work for you, and vice versa.

Personally I never had the problem of accidentally swearing, for reasons that are actually opposite to most of the suggestions here (not that they're wrong, just different; see above). I've just been around those words enough that it doesn't really bother me anymore. My mind knows they're bad words, but when I hear them, I don't register them as anything different than any other word, so they don't get stuck in my head, they just move on through and so it's no big deal. If you can convince yourself they're just regular words, you won't be any more inclined to say them than any other alternative, seeing as part of the appeal or habit usually comes from just knowing that you're not supposed to say them.

If that way's not for you though, another idea would be to just tell the people around you that you're trying not to swear anymore, and tell them that if you do swear, to kind of make a big deal about it in a playful way. Like if you say something, they'd notice and go "hey, you said ****, you're not supposed to say that, bad you", and basically make peer pressure work in your favor because you don't want them to bring up your mistake or make a big deal out of it. Something along those lines where they're basically encouraging you to break the habit.

If all else fails, just try to remember why you're trying to stop swearing (or in the case of stopping just because we're not supposed to, think of the reasons behind that). Personally I don't swear because it makes me seem less intelligent, which also extends to certain less serious words (such as "gay" or "retard" as an insult or a synonym for "stupid", and I also refrain from "pissed off" unless I really am that upset). Plus by now, I'd get a lot of funny looks from people I know who expect me not to swear, so it's far easier not to.

Hope something in there helped.

Edited March 26, 2011 by xforeverxmetalx

[slamjet]

I'm still all for when you say a swear work, take a bite of this:

[MorningStar]

I'm still all for when you say a swear work, take a bite of this:

I accidentally took a bite out of that once. It made me swear.

[dahlia]

I was wondering if you converts or members who fell away for a time know any tips or tricks to clean up a dirty mouth.

You must be kidding. I wasn't nominated to sainthood because I got baptized (yeah, some real mixed language, there, but you get it). It's strange, in front of students I (usually) don't have a problem, and certainly don't drop the F bomb (grad students would probably love it if I did).

But in personal life, you'd think I had served in the Navy. I am around the missionaries a lot and I have to remind myself not to curse just 'cause they're young guys and have probably heard it all before. And as I get to know more women outside of RS, I have to take extra care not to talk the way I usually do. Most of them are mothers of young kids and have learned to speak nicely because there are kids in the room, but I don't have those constraints.

So, no hints here. I've got a big enough struggle on my own.

[Saintmichaeldefendthem1]

Don't use another word like monkey or fudge as a substitute. THINK before you speak.

Increase your vocabulary. Read more, do crossword puzzles and use a crossword dictionary. Once you learn what the word really means, then you will have more words to use when you do speak.

When you are angry or hurt (I use to cuss a blue streak when I got physically hurt) do not use the substitute words. Never was I able to come up with any other words other than Ow, Ouch, Owie, & Hurt. Guess what? Those words worked just fine! Try vocalizing exactly how you feel. Hurt, hurt, hurt. Oh, the pain, the pain, pain, painpainpain. Pretty soon, you are too out of breath to say anything.

Another thing - in anger, you lash out at the person, what do you start your tirade with? YOU. You so-an-so,YOU blah-blah-blah, YOU yada-yada-yada.

Consciously stop yourself from beginning an angry retort with YOU. That is attack mode. Don't attack.

Totally delete the swear words, filthy words from your vocabulary. Do NOT replace them with softer words. Mother-bear. Fudge. What the Flip. Even though you are not using the F*** word, you still mean it.

Use the correct words. What the Flip = What do you mean, or what is that, or just What?

If a job was hard to do- then rather than use filthy words to attempt to describe it, simply say - that job was very hard to do.

K.I.S.S. ==Keep It Simple, Silly.

In short, those who depend on swear words and who use filthy words have a limited vocabulary. Increase your vocabulary, delete the filthy/swear words & phrases and take time to think before you respond.

I did it. I learned the filthy/cuss words from my Uncle the cop, from the guys my first husband worked with and the loggers, truck drivers, construction workers who patronized my Tavern. I could out cuss most of the tavern customers.

Took me several years to "clean up" my mouth- I put everything I had into cleaning up after I over heard a lady I really respected say: A filthy mouth like hers (meaning me) is a sign of a very limited education. What ever she learned in High School, she has obviously tossed it aside. She is a real trash mouth now.

You are on to something, my friend. I've heard this discussed before, the profuse use of profanity being a symptom of a limited vocabulary. This is especially true for those who use the F word at least once in every sentence. Their ability to communicate is stunted, their brains trained to use a profane word to fill every hiatus of thought instead of thinking about what they want to say and saying it. I really get irked when profanity is referred to as "strong language" because nothing could be further from the truth; it actually weakens one's ability to communicate effectively. I constantly work on my vocabulary, adding new words and using it as a deft tool to get my point across. Those with an expanded vocabulary are like a carpenter with a large tool box and the craft to apply the right tool to every job.

[The_Phoenix]

I'm still all for when you say a swear work, take a bite of this:

Looks tasty.