Potty Training

[MBASS]

My son is 20 months old and he is beginning to take off his diaper whenever he pees or poops and says I pee or I poop. Should I start him potty training or is he still to young?! Im not entirely sure how to start this whole mess (pun intended)! Any advice from veteran potty trainers?!

[shanstress70]

That is really early, IMO, but some kids are ready sooner than others, so maybe he is.

However, if you try it and get nowhere, hang it up for 6 months or so before trying again.

I have learned that they will do it when they are ready and you cannot rush them. It will only cause you undue stress.

Good luck!

[Dr T]

European counties start as early as 14 months (sometimes earlier). Here in the U.S. we say wait until the child is ready.

[shanstress70]

European counties start as early as 14 months (sometimes earlier). Here in the U.S. we say wait until the child is ready.

I hear of people starting early like that, but I don't understand how. From my experience with my child who was difficult to potty train, he WOULD NOT do it no matter what I did. I read everything I could find on the subject and tried the positive when he was successful (praising him, celebrating with cupcakes, buying toys, calling all our relatives out of town etc.); the negative when he had an accident (scolding, taking away favorite toys, not letting him watch his favorite shows, etc.); and neutral (just acting like I didn't care one way or the other).

The only thing I didn't try is spanking, which I would not do.

In the end, when he was ready, he did it.

Do you know what methods the Europeans use?

[MBASS]

I dont think Im ready ha ha! I dont think my son can tell he has to go yet. What are some of the signs! I know boys are supposed to be harder than girls. Too bad we cant train them like puppies! I can do that!

[Dr T]

Hi Shan,

The methods are varied. I use behavioral interventions such reinforcement for approximation. When they get close to step A, reinforce. It solves a lot of problems when we do it when the child is ready. One of my children was 18 months another 20 months a third was 2 1/2. It all depends. I've known people who spank etc. Not my cup of tea either.

[shanstress70]

Hi Shan,

The methods are varied. I use behavioral interventions such reinforcement for approximation. When they get close to step A, reinforce. It solves a lot of problems when we do it when the child is ready. One of my children was 18 months another 20 months a third was 2 1/2. It all depends. I've known people who spank etc. Not my cup of tea either.

I thought I'd lose my mind trying to get my son trained! He was over 3 before being 100% PT with no accidents!

[Dr T]

Hey Shan,

A lot of people don't even start training until 3. Not abnormal (in the U.S. anyway)

[mrscalifornia]

Hey Shan,

A lot of people don't even start training until 3. Not abnormal (in the U.S. anyway)

WEll, it's been quite a while for me, being as I have one on a mission right now, and another one soon to go, but my oldest was potty trained by 17months old, and the second was about 21 months, and the last, well, he trained himself, just by watching his older brothers. None of my boys were hard to train, so I don't know if that's true about boys being harder than girls (since I have no girls!) But one thing I am big on, is praise when they do something good, like going on the toilet. I used to sit them on the toilet and tell them how good they were, even if they didn't do anything, and we really celebrated when they did. And when they missed and went not in the toilet, I never scolded- we just cleaned it up without saying a whole lot. We had a party hat and the blower things and stuff, so when they did pee in the toilet, we literally had a party!! Also, sitting them on the toilet I hear when you are running the bath water I hear works, not sure if it did, but I know I tired that too! Well, don't know if my blabbling helped, but I wish you the best of luck with it. It doesn't hurt to try!

[shanstress70]

<div class='quotemain'>

Hey Shan,

A lot of people don't even start training until 3. Not abnormal (in the U.S. anyway)

WEll, it's been quite a while for me, being as I have one on a mission right now, and another one soon to go, but my oldest was potty trained by 17months old, and the second was about 21 months, and the last, well, he trained himself, just by watching his older brothers. None of my boys were hard to train, so I don't know if that's true about boys being harder than girls (since I have no girls!) But one thing I am big on, is praise when they do something good, like going on the toilet. I used to sit them on the toilet and tell them how good they were, even if they didn't do anything, and we really celebrated when they did. And when they missed and went not in the toilet, I never scolded- we just cleaned it up without saying a whole lot. We had a party hat and the blower things and stuff, so when they did pee in the toilet, we literally had a party!! Also, sitting them on the toilet I hear when you are running the bath water I hear works, not sure if it did, but I know I tired that too! Well, don't know if my blabbling helped, but I wish you the best of luck with it. It doesn't hurt to try!

I tried all that, and my child didn't do it. Sometimes I think it's when the child is ready, regardless.

[Guest Monica]

Get those big kid diapers and the baby potty. Looks like this one is ready.

[MBASS]

update: son says pee pee and runs into the bathroom not using potty but knows where to go atleast! we saw him straining the other not and plunked him on the pot and he cried a little, went poop and then was very happy to wave bye bye to the poop in the potty! some progress maybe?!

[Jason]

Never had a boy, but my girls were all potty trained at 2. The last one looks like she'll follow suit (22 mos).

[Dr T]

That's great MBASS! Verbal reinforcement for approximations like that can be useful/good. I actually use M&M's.

[shanstress70]

AWESOME! Hopefully you'll have an easy time of it.

[Maureen]

It's been a while for my kids, but I'll add my 2 cents.

I define totally potty trained as not needing a diaper during the day or at night-time sleeping.

My daughter was totally trained about 2 months before her 3rd birthday. First time I started to attempt training her was when she was 2 - she got the chicken pox and we did nightly baths. About 5 minutes out of the tub she would walk around naked and then pee, where ever she was. This happened several times before it occured to me to sit her on the potty after the bath. The first time she was quite intrigued with the noise and wanted to stand and look but she stayed sitting until done and then looked. So once she got the idea about the potty it was easier.

My son was different though. I can't quite remember how we started with him but he wasn't daytime trained till about 31/2 to 4 years old and night time trained about 5 years old.

And by the way, I don't think there should be any scolding at all when it comes to children learning how to use the toilet. Peeing and pooping are just normal body functions and there should not be any negative consequences if accidents happen.

MBASS, sounds like your son is ready to start - good luck!

M.

[angelbaby]

I'll tell you what worked for me (a friend suggested it to me after i asked her for advice), though every child is different & will do their own thing when they are ready. I started this around 16 months. I sat my son on the potty every hour on the hour, just to get him used to the routine. If he did anything in it we'd get all excited and be like "yay, look what you did on the potty, you're so clever!", etc. Do that for a few days (how ever many days you feel necessary). Then go from every hour to every 2 hours and so on, gradually, so they are used to the routine & begin to understand what the potty is all about. Also, stretching the time further & further so they begin to know to go them selves when they are ready.

The potty got broken one day (my husband tripped over it), so then i moved our son from the potty, to the toilet (using one of those little kid seats you sit over the toilet seat). Initially he hated it, he literally screamed the house down the first few days. I just held him there and made him sit a few minutes. He got the idea & after a couple days he stopped freaking out & realised that it wasn't a bad thing. It didn't take long till he was taking himself. Just leave the door open & the seat on, and they will start taking themselves. Even if they just sit there, they're getting the idea.

The other thing is, take notice of when your child does his business, whether it's first thing in the morning or last thing at night. That's when you should sit them on the toilet, they're more likely to do something then. Also (sorry if this is confusing, i'm typing while i jog my memory) Only use nappies when you go out & at bed time. If you're home, just let them wear underpants. If they wee or poop, yeah there's a bit of a mess to clean up - but they work out pretty quick that it's gross having a mess in their pants and they tend to start wanting to get to the toilet in time.

Phew. Hope that made sense & was of some use to you.

[Gwen]

ok, i know no one has touched this one in a while, but i'm new here and being in the middle of potty training myself thought i would take a look. many great ideas. thanks.

one thing i did for my first son is i just told him one day (just turned 3yrs) that the diapers were gone, (we actually had run out and things were tight and the check didn't come for another week, so literally the diapers were gone). we spent all day outside (he loved it and it cut down on the mess inside). we designated a pee pee tree. when he felt it he went on the tree, going in to the toilet of course to poo. once he could predict and hold long enough to go inside we transitioned to the toilet. we started on a monday, he was in underwear for church the next week, no accidents.

however my second wasn't so easy, he was nearly four. we had a lot of excitement in the house with his big brother starting school this year (yes this was a month ago) so i told him when his borther went off to school we were having potty school. i talked it up as much as i did real school. the first day of "school" the diapers were gone. every 1 1/2 hours i had him go through the motions of sitting on the potty, waiting, flushing, washing hands ect. and then he would get a star sticker on his shirt. if he actually went pee he got three stars, and poo got five. i agree with others that have said no punishment for accidents. i mean come on at nine months pregnant and chasing little ones i have almost wet myself, and i expect more from them? lol anyway, he got it in 1 1/2 weeks. after learning we went to the store and he got to pick out whatever kind of big boy underwear he wanted (up to this point he was using big brothers hand me downs). that was the biggest incentive for him i think.

really funny story. i sit my boys down at first because i have experianced no other way. then i have my husband teach the "man" aspect once they get it down. i have also come to expect no privacy for myself with so many little ones. about two weeks ago i was out with the little ones and he had to go so we went into a family restroom. you know the really big ones with the changing table and stuff. anyway, we all had to go. after i went and was washing my hands my son (just turned 4) said "mommy you really need to learn to stand like big boys." i had to actully think about that response.

ok, laugh with me.

anyway, i still have two more to go so thanks for the tips, they are all so different.

ALmom

p.s. so how is your little one doing?

[Maureen]

...we spent all day outside (he loved it and it cut down on the mess inside). we designated a pee pee tree...

Boys have those great benefits...I remember when my son was little and we were outside and needed a bathroom quick, so I introduced my son to a tree and he thought it was so funny. :)

M.

[lannesackman]

This is great! Thanks for all of the advice.. I am in the midst of potty training. I am really hating the smell of pee. My son is very stubborn and we have been trying for 6 months..on and off. This time I think he has got it. (I hope) I am taking some of your advice and trying again..

I have been doing the praise, party, treat method and it seems to be woring..

Thanks

Lindsay

[HeisAlmighty]

K, I know that no one has been here for a while, but I am going to try anyway. I have a 2 year old girl that needs to be potty trained soon. I also have a 8 month old baby boy that I am nursing. My little girl began potty training herself for a while and I thought that was great, let her do it, that way I don't have to deal with it. However, she lost interest and so I tried to pick up and encourage her to keep going. But she kept telling me that she needed to go and/or needed assistance when ever I was in the middle of nursing. There was no way that I was going to make my baby stop nursing and listen to him scream while I was helping her. So now she is at the stage of taking off her clothes and changing them 20 times a day. She even sometimes attempts to change herself. I do not want for her to loose interest and just stop all together, but when I don't have someone else to help me do the training, What am I to do? Will she eventually loose interest? Will there be a time that it will be to late and I will have 2 kids in diapers for ever (not literally of course)?

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

Just guessing that she using "wanting to go" as a test: does mom love me more or the baby? That's why she always picks nursing time to try. Why not beat her to it? When you're about to nurse, let her know. Say something like: Sweetie, I want to help you with going potty first, before I get settled down to feed your brother. Then spend 5 or 10 minutes totally absorbed in her world - make her the star, the princess, the absolute center of attention, and not just dependant on whether she's going potty or not - she needs your love and reassurance that her little brother hasn't usurped her position in the family.

[HeisAlmighty]

does mom love me more or the baby? That's why she always picks nursing time to try.

She needs your love and reassurance that her little brother hasn't usurped her position in the family.

That could be the case, I guess. But I thought that when they when they felt that way they were aggressive toward the baby. From the moment he was born she has always loved him. I was quiet happy with how well she took it. He was "her baby". They really have a great relationship. But she's that was with all baby's, she loves them all. No matter who's they are.

There again, she was the "baby" before. And now she isn't. And although she has never hurt him, when she is tired, she will want me to hold her and not him. Every ones in a while she will try to put him out of the way.

[miztrniceguy]

i've been working with my daughter potty training for a while. she does real well until it comes time to poo. she will pee in her potty, pull up her "big girl panties" and then 5 min later tell me she has poo....cant get her to tell me ahead that she needs to, or to get her to go on the potty.

getting very frustrated with the whole thing

[shanstress70]

I know it can be annoying sometimes when someone pulls the, "listen to me cause I've been there" thing. BUT, I just want to share my experience. When they are ready they will train themselves. I know it sounds too simple and cliche, but I almost pulled my hair out with my son. He was 4 when he finally was trained 100%. He was trained with pee before he was 3, but the other for some reason took forever. And trust me, we tried it ALL and nothing worked. I wish I would have just chilled out about it bc I stressed so much for no reason. Not to say you shouldn't encourage and praise when it DOES happen... but when there are accidents, it's really no big deal.