Kolob Posted July 31, 2011 Report Share Posted July 31, 2011 About 3 months ago I met an amazing girl on a dating site. I had repented of my past, and was going through the process with my branch president to see on wether or not i'd be allowed to serve a mission because of some of the things I repented for. I'm not just waiting for my branch president to get back to send in our letters that the misison department required of me. then i'll just be waiting for a yes or a no. Anyway I met this girl and we started talking and getting to know eachother. Sorry if any of this information is out of order or confusing. I am from SLC she is from California but was studying at BYU Idaho up until a week ago. During the 3 months we got to know each other and really began to like eachother, and fall for one another. We told eachother about everything in our pasts, it turned out she had had a similar past as mine, and had also repented. It was great! She even came down to visit me in utah one day when she was going to fly out to her family in california for the 4th of july, and we finally met. We had an amazing night, I couldn't stop smiling, she is just so beautiful to me, she kept smiling too. We had a few gentle kisses at the very end before she left for the night as I gave her her favorite flowers. Then like night and day, when she went to california she told me she was gonna tell her mom about me. After she did she started acting weird and distant. I asked several times what was wrong and she said she was just scared and didn't want to hurt me. So we were just gonna be friends. When she finally got back to utah to drive back to idaho. We had had plans to meet up again before she went to california, but all the sudden she said that she couldn't... i felt like they were excuses, bcause she hadn't liked me in person. But she assured me it wasn't that. Finally when she got back to idaho she changed her mind, because I told her she wouldn't hurt me. I told her that if I went on my mission, we'd stay friends then if she was single when I got back and she was still interested we could continue on. This calmed her enough to go back to talking how we were. This lasted for about another month and things were great. We would flirt and be cute all the time. Even about a day before her trip back to California because of the end of semester she wrote me a letter telling me that I had changed her life in such amazing ways, that i was the perfect guy for her, that she could see herself growing old with me, and she could see herself having an eternal family with me etc... She told me that I had strengthened her so much spiritually given her good habits. And she even said this " Baby, I promise i'm going to be more devoted to you soon" because she hadn't been able to lately because of her finals. Then when she got To california. Everything changed back to how it was. And i'm just so confused as to why. She wont even respond to any type of communication really anymore. Every so often when I get worried and ask if she's ok. She just says yeah i'm sorry just really busy. But I mean no matter how busy she was before she'd at very least text me right before she'd go to sleep. It got to the point where I felt like she really had changed her mind on me, and didn't wanna hurt my feelings by telling me hey it's over. That's what i feel actually now. but it got to the point where I gave her of choice of staying how we were, or just friends, she said friends then she said no wait how we were. Then when I asked are you sure. she said just friends. I was ok with that because i understood that things could be really chaotic for her right now to be more then friends. But she doesn't talk to me anymore. I have a feeling it was something I said. Maybe about my brother meeting a girl and getting moving to denver to get married in a month and a half. I think this might have freaked her out some how. But there is no way of knowing because she wont really talk to me. It's usually just sorry i miss you. then nothing for days. She told me she still cares about me, and that it isn't good bye. BUT... she's not acting like it. What do i do? What's she really thinking? I'm so alone without her. in a way that nobody can fill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted July 31, 2011 Report Share Posted July 31, 2011 Sounds like her parents are against it. You go on your mission. Write her if you like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted July 31, 2011 Report Share Posted July 31, 2011 Loudmouth +1. Also - she's a girl, barely out of her teens. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. I'd keep my guard up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted July 31, 2011 Report Share Posted July 31, 2011 Agreed! Your girlfriend won't wait for you on your mission. Your wife will. (Okay, it's an old saying and a play on words... but it's true!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneDoe Posted July 31, 2011 Report Share Posted July 31, 2011 Pray about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mimi Posted August 1, 2011 Report Share Posted August 1, 2011 I agree it sounds like her parents aren't too keen on the idea of her dating you for whatever reason. and sounds like she isn't very independent from her parents yet so she's afraid to have anything to do with you while she's around them, but she's also afraid of losing you altogether. so she's just barely keeping you hanging on. but i'm sure it's hard for her. being between the devil and the deep blue sea like she seems to be. maybe you should ask if you can come visit her in calilfornia before you go on your mission. you know, just as a friend visiting a friend. maybe her parents are against you because she met you online. people are still pretty prejudice bout those things these days. maybe if they see you aren't really an axe murderer waiting to kill their daughter, things will start to turn around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texas1992 Posted August 1, 2011 Report Share Posted August 1, 2011 I too have been going through a long distance relationship. I have experienced much of what you described. At one point early in our relationship I was told to just relax and that she was not seeing anyone nor was she talking to anyone else. I had to take her at her word. I gave it time because I needed it and as it turned out so did she. Now we have the most amazing relationship because we were able to work out some of our personal issues that hadn't come up until we had found each other. My advise to you is relax. Go on your mission and forget about her until you get back. Put it in the Lords hands but focus on doing his work. It will all work out for the best. I promise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kolob Posted August 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Thank you all for your input, I apreciate each of your replies, and take each advice to heart. My eyes are on my missioin. my Heart as well . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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