texas1992 Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 I have gone through a divorce and lost my kids at the same time. My oldest son would not even talk to me and my ex took my kids and moved to Utah. I have not seen them since. I have gone to the temple on a weekly basis and have grown leaps and bounds both spiritually and emotionally. I have since met a woman with whom I have finally learned what real love is. We met online and talked for well over a year. Last weekend we met for the first time and it was incredible. We completely clicked and after the first evening we both agreed that we wanted to get married. We are planning on getting married next month. On the last night there we broke the law of chastity. We didn't plan it but it just happened. We both took 3 days off just to think about what happened and we both feel that our bond is stronger. Also, we both have decided to go to our respective bishops and confess what has happened. I am positive that I will be excommunicated because I am a high priest. I am scared because I have just recently been able to regain my relationships with my kids. They are all talking to me again and I don't want to lose this. I am going to confess but how do I break the news to my kids. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 is not any of your kids business. nor your exwife's, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texas1992 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 I agree but it takes a year to get rebaptised and my middle son will be ready to be ordained to be an Elder before I get the priesthood back. It will come out sooner or later. I want to do what is right but I don't want to disappoint my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 If you tell your kids you are also telling them about your fiances sin as well. If you want to tell them its up to you but I wouldnt. As far as the ordaination goes I would just tell him you dont feel worthy and leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tbaird22 Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 I wouldn't tell your kids what you did specifically. Let them know that you slipped up and won't be able to ordain him to the priesthood because of it, but you do not have to tell them what sin you committed. They will probably suspect since you're getting married, but they can't know for sure unless you tell them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 The iron rod is right there, next to your foot, pick it up. Just kidding the title of the thread made me say that. I would wait until the time got a little closer before you even tell the kids that you slipped up. Let your relationship with them grow. No need to jump the gun. Telling your bishop is the right thing to do. The sooner the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drr456 Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 I'm sorry you're going thru this tortue. Being a high priest doesn't excuse you from being human. I'd talk to the bishop and confess but as far as telling your kids? I don't know. How old are they? You might could use this as a great opportunity to talk with the kids on the art of satan. We ALL sin! Even a high priest. Once you put yourself in a position that Satan can temp you, and lust is a pretty good one, he can tell you all sorts of lies at the time. The good time didn't last and why? Because you were sinning. Now it's replaced with saddness. That's what he does and he does it well! Chasity is hard especially after having been married, etc. Sometimes we just get SO lonely and when you're in love knowing your going to get married, he talks you into thinking it'll be ok etc.. Heavenly Father KNOWS you! You're human my firend. Confess to your bishop, repent and don't do it again until you're married. Your kids will always love you. All you need to worry about is Heavenly Father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 First of all, you didn't "finally learn what real love is". You haven't been through the trials of raising a family, going through loss and grief and hardships, figured out who cooks and who does dishes, negotiated the remote control, etc. What you have is a shiny new girl, and "real love" would have been working your darnedest to keep the family you already had intact. Now that I've got that off my chest, I sincerely wish you luck this go-around. If this girl is going to be your new spouse, I agree that you shouldn't start off by confessing her sins for her to your family. Take care of the repentance process, and just worry about what Heavenly Father thinks and not anyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 One thing to remember is you really dont know what the bishop is going to do. Probably should wait till he decides before jumping the gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mightynancy Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 Wow, harsh (Eo). Information can be a burden; think twice about handing this one to your kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texas1992 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 I'm not going to tell my kids but they are not stupid. They will figure it out sooner or later. I have an appointment with my bishop this sunday so I will confess at that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 First of all, you didn't "finally learn what real love is". You haven't been through the trials of raising a family, going through loss and grief and hardships, figured out who cooks and who does dishes, negotiated the remote control, etc. What you have is a shiny new girl, and "real love" would have been working your darnedest to keep the family you already had intact.Now that I've got that off my chest, I sincerely wish you luck this go-around. If this girl is going to be your new spouse, I agree that you shouldn't start off by confessing her sins for her to your family. Take care of the repentance process, and just worry about what Heavenly Father thinks and not anyone else.Thanks Eowyn. You said what I was thinking. Real love is hanging in there when things regardless of how tough things get.I agree with the general sentiment that telling your children is not the right thing to do. Just tell them you have been struggling and don't feel worthy to do the priesthood ordination. Don't saddle your children with this. It will color the relationship they might eventually have with their future Step-Mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 · Hidden Hidden Eowyn ..slaying Nazgûl since 1419 Shire reckoning Link to comment
Windseeker Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 Eowyn ..slaying Nazgûl since 1419 Shire reckoning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted November 5, 2011 Report Share Posted November 5, 2011 Real love is hanging in there when things regardless of how tough things get.They call it "sticking it out" because ....you feel stuck. Not sure that qualifies as real love..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texas1992 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 First of all, you didn't "finally learn what real love is". You haven't been through the trials of raising a family, going through loss and grief and hardships, figured out who cooks and who does dishes, negotiated the remote control, etc. What you have is a shiny new girl, and "real love" would have been working your darnedest to keep the family you already had intact.Eowyn, I am so glad that you know what I have learned and have not learned. Thank you for setting me straight on that. I don't know what I would do without these kind of comment from someone who has never met me nor knows what is going on in my life.I am so relieved to know that all I have is a "shiny new girl". Thanks for belittling my feelings and letting me know that what I am feeling is nothing more that indigestion. I'm so glad that you know exactly what went on in my marriage and that I didn't try to keep it going for 21 years. Thank you for explaining to me what "real love" is. I guess that I am just too stupid to know these things for myself.You did such a good job with your post.Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rex8499 Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 How did the meeting with the Bishop go? Honestly, I'd be really surprised if you were excommunicated for slipping up once and coming to confess immediately. It shows a desire to improve yourself and do what is right and I would expect either just probation or disfellowshipment. Excommunication is usually reserved for those who refuse to align themselves with righteousness from what I've seen. I've known of High Priests that have done things much worse than you and only been disfellowshipped. Maybe that helps make you feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magen_Avot Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) Only if you've been a bishop, stake pres, reg rep (whatever their called now-a days) will you be x'ed right off the bat. It depends on how many times, your attitude (sorrow) and how quickly you went to the bishop. Your circumstances do play a role too. It will be a formal counsel but you may end up with disfellowshipment. (fingers crossed). So turn to Texas1992! Get to the Bishop ASAP. you'll likely be asked who it was with just so you both know, and the bishops will call each other too. Sorry, I see you should have met with the bishop last Sunday. Edited November 9, 2011 by Magen_Avot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texas1992 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 I met with the Bishop last Sunday. Things went well in that it wasn't as hard to confess as I thought that it would be. He contacted the Stake President and I will be meeting with him this coming Sunday. I am just going to get this taken care of. I don't care what the sentence is, I just want to get this over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 I met with the Bishop last Sunday. Things went well in that it wasn't as hard to confess as I thought that it would be. He contacted the Stake President and I will be meeting with him this coming Sunday. I am just going to get this taken care of. I don't care what the sentence is, I just want to get this over.Good Job! You are doing really good so far. Keep it up. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texas1992 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 Well, I made a mistake. I love the woman that I did it with and we are going to get married sooner than we had planned. We both want to get sealed as soon as we can but we know that it will take a while now. I feel really good about what I am doing now. I know that I will feel better once I get this all out in the open. My relationship with my girlfriend will only get better. It is really good now but we don't want any secrets. Thanks for all y'alls support and advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted November 9, 2011 Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 Yes you did make a mistake and you owned up to it immediately. That is doing good in my book. Congrats on your coming marriage. Being together for support will help I hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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